When would she get up? She leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees and staring around the basement. Had she really been the only one not to drink?
After a moment, she realized nothing was going to change. It had taken all day of sitting among the group for her to come to that conclusion and she wasn’t quite sure what she was doing there anymore.
Scrambling to her feet, Abigail leaned down and grabbed her punch. Regardless of what it had done, a small part of her was consumed with guilt that she hadn’t followed the orders that Tomathy had given. As if maybe she’d failed to prove her faith or something.
But she hadn’t had a good buzz in a few weeks and most of her faith was wrapped up in that high.
On shaky legs – more from hunger than loss or withdrawal – Abigail stepped around the toppled bodies, tiptoeing toward the slider. There was no food in the building. Everything was gone. A huge reason why Tomathy had pulled the mass suicide. He was sick of running out of things to eat as well.
What was she going to do? The summer heat would protect her from the cold nights, but Abigail didn’t have any food or water. She didn’t have a tent or any form of bedding. She had nothing and there on the hilltop overlooking the desert outside of Reno, Nevada, Abigail had to accept she didn’t have many options.
They were about two miles from the next building or outpost. She wasn’t sure how far from a town or city. There would be survivors from the illness, but what type of survivors would they be?
She glanced back over her shoulder at the swelling bodies of her groupmates. At least they had been family, had endured so much together. She’d joined the cult – yeah, she could accept it was a cult, always had – when she was about fifteen. Her foster mom had kicked her out and she’d been disinterested in going back into the system.
Looking for a solid hit, she’d found Tomathy giving out a new drug outside a community center. He’d smiled and offered the “light, my child”. The hit was good, but his promise of family and not being alone anymore had been more appealing.
She hadn’t been alone, but she hadn’t been herself either.
Cup still in hand, Abigail slid open the door and stepped out into the desert heat, the warmth of the sun’s rays eased the ache of despair inside the basement.
What was she going to do? The suicide had seemed cowardly, but now that she had to face everything alone, maybe letting go wasn’t such a bad idea. Maybe accepting that this life wasn’t for her anymore was the only choice she had left.
Taking a breath, Abigail lifted the Styrofoam cup. Staring at the creosote bushes and the sand that abutted the overgrown brown grasses, Abigail murmured, “Here’s to the next one, right?” Tilting the glass, she swallowed the bitter drink and waited.
It would only be a moment, right? Just a moment and she wouldn’t have to worry about hunger, loneliness, or loss any more.
Chapter 19
Cady
Cady’s face hurt, but she wouldn’t back down. Dan wasn’t going to touch her, not like he thought he was. She wasn’t going to give in to any of his demands. She might be small, but her dignity would keep her fighting far past the point of sanity.
She lifted her chin, balling her hands into fists and glaring at the hotheaded man. “You’re such a big man, hitting a woman. Is that the only way you can get their attention? Huh?” She didn’t back down, holding her ground as the red in his face darkened to an almost purplish hue. She held her hands in fists at her sides, refusing to acknowledge the bruising in her knuckles from the last punch she’d landed.
She could feel the group gathering around them, the men laughing at her comments and giving a low catcall at Dan.
Cady tightened her jaw. What was she doing? She could back down. She could give up, go sit down, but a break in the men around her caught her eye. The group of women were awake and watching, their eyes wide as they huddled at the edge of the clearing in their torn shirts and bare feet.
Cady couldn’t back down now, even if they held a gun to her head. Taking a deep breath, Cady had to accept that she wasn’t a martyr, but this might be one of those times she had to take one for the team to show the women that they would survive. There was something better than doing what they’d been doing. Even death was better than slavery.
She snarled in Dan’s direction, “You’re not getting anything off me.” She tightened the muscles in her back. She was going to get it and she knew it.
He laughed, in fact, the men in the group laughed – all of them.
Dan stepped forward, a promise in his eyes Cady had to keep herself from shrinking from. He narrowed his gaze and smirked. “You’ll give me whatever I want or we’ll take it. Whatever works for me.” He’d said we. Had he meant she’d be gangraped or something? What had they done to the other women?
Did she want to push it to find out what that something was? Was it worth it? What if she didn’t? What if she gave in and did what they wanted, accepted what they wanted to do to her?
No. Another glimpse of the fear and brokenness of the captive women outside of the circle of men strengthened her resolve. She wouldn’t be a toy or a tool for these men to take care of their boredom or their fear. She wasn’t going to live like that – not for one minute.
She’d fight.
Because if she didn’t fight, then what was she doing?
There were more women than men in that group and she just had to show them what was possible. It didn’t matter that she was only one. Just one woman against about ten men. She’d have to keep her jaw tight so that she didn’t bite her tongue when they beat her.
They were a lot bigger than she was and she’d be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t afraid. But she’d never admit it. Not to anyone there.
Instead, she laughed – hard. “So you’re telling me that all of you will beat on me? You’re all so big and strong to hit a woman one at a time and yet to prove just how amazing you are as men, you’re going to do it as a group. Like a big group of bullies.” She laughed again then spit in Dan’s face, deepening her voice. “Go ahead, little man. Do your worst. Because all you’re proving is that you’re worthless. You’re nothing. You don’t deserve to be a part of anything great because you’re less than anything even unremarkable.” She clenched her stomach. Okay, who would throw the first punch? Where would the pain come from?
Something crossed Dan’s eyes, a breaking in his anger. Could she have struck a nerve? Was she closer to the truth then she’d thought?
Another man mumbled something and Dan’s shaking determination steadied. His gaze hardened.
Cady’s possible respite passed. Okay, she’d either survive what came next – or she wouldn’t. But she’d had the virus and she’d survived that. It would be just her luck that she wouldn’t survive this.
Chapter 20
Buck
Maria woke in tears. Her sobbing roused Buck from the first little bit of quality sleep he’d had in a while – good solid sleep where he wasn’t afraid someone was going to kill him.
Sure, the thought had been there in the back of his mind that the girl might try to kill him while he slept, but he hadn’t been that afraid since she’d already passed out and was slightly snoring.
When was the last time she’d gotten real sleep? When was the last time she hadn’t been afraid of being used or abused or hurt? If nothing else, at least Buck had been able to help her escape that.
Buck pushed himself up from the dusty, cold linoleum and reached across the aisle they’d chosen to sleep in. He shook her shoulder, saddened by the screwed up expression on her face as she struggled with something in her dreams.
“Maria, wake up.” Buck shook her shoulder a little harder. When she opened her eyes and saw him, she jerked back, hitting her head on the metal overhanging from the bottom shelf of what was marked as the candy aisle.
Buck pulled his hand back, keeping his palm open to show he wasn’t holding anything or in any way trying to hurt her. “Sh. It’s alright. It’s ju
st me, Buck. Are you okay? You were having a nightmare or something.” But he knew waking up was the real nightmare. It had been the same way for him.
She reached up, rubbing at the tender spot on her scalp and staring at him. She didn’t blink for a long time, as if she was nervous about missing a detail, a movement. Like he might not be telling the truth.
While Maria gathered her composure, Buck rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling. Maybe voicing their options was the best way to pull her out of her stupor. “I don’t know what we should do. We don’t have a lot of gas left. Not enough to get us very far. I don’t have shoes, so I won’t be able to walk much further after the gas goes out. We don’t have any weapons or ways to protect ourselves once we’re out of here or out of the protection of the Range Rover.” He didn’t want to continue. He didn’t want to admit that he was terrified they had escaped one hell and run into another.
Maria sniffed. “What would you do without me here?” Truth time wasn’t appropriate when she’d just woken up from who knew what kind of a nightmare, but he had to admit that telling her was appealing.
Buck turned his head and met her wide-eyed gaze. “I wouldn’t be here.” The truth settled onto him like a weighted blanket.
“We can leave.” Her eyes shadowed with fear as she chewed on her lower lip, her hands shaking as she rubbed her forehead.
Staring at Maria, Buck nodded slowly as he faced just what exactly he was saying. He spoke slowly and confidently. “No. I mean, I wouldn’t be here. I probably would have driven my car off a cliff or something by now.” He wasn’t joking even the slightest. He didn’t want to continue living like this and the fact that he was there and trying to keep up the survival thing was simply because he didn’t want to force anyone – especially a young girl – to do what he wanted.
When had he given up? Not when he’d been in his home, not when they’d broken in and he’d escaped to the backyard. No, not even when he’d found his neighbors in the pool.
Maybe it had been when the mob had rushed his car because they wanted to get at Buck and Maria. Maybe their expressions of desperation and survival had broken down the last of his need to hang on.
Maria shifted to her back, folding her arms across her chest and staring up at the ceiling as well.
The silence fell around them – eerie in the early morning with the light creeping through cracks in the wood-covered windows.
“I don’t want to be here, either. An escape would be nice. Just to find freedom, you know?” She didn’t look at him, but left her near whisper there in the air between them.
Yeah, to find freedom.
What was she saying? What was Buck admitting to? Could they really want the same thing? The truth was too much to face, too much to accept at that point.
Getting ready to leave wasn’t something they talked about. It was more like they just fell into the rhythm. They didn’t pack much as they quietly gathered the few things they’d brought in, taking bottles of water and snacks they’d scavenged from the aisles.
While Buck stood guard, Maria darted into the woods along the back of the store, just above the drop off, and relieved herself, while Buck availed himself of the side of the building.
They got into the Range Rover, subdued with their lack of a plan. They didn’t know where to go. They had nowhere to be that was safer than where they’d been.
They could drive for as long as the gas would take them. They could try to hike further than that, taking any path that felt right.
Or…
Buck started the engine and glanced at Maria. She stared resolutely back, as if she didn’t know what to do or think except – just keep going. Could her gaze tell him what she wanted to do? What he should do?
Pulling from the gas station, Buck gripped the steering wheel. They picked climbed up the mountainside, the trees the only break between blue sky and black pavement. A yellow sign flashed ahead of them and they both saw the cliff warning at the same time.
Buck glanced at Maria, his pulse speeding up. Did she have the same idea? Eyes wide, she met his gaze.
She did. They were on the same page. They both wanted the same thing and Buck was the only one who could give it to them.
Buck would have to get out from the edge of the cliff as far as possible which meant he needed to pick up as much speed as he could get before the turn in the road. He’d been out there plenty of times and knew the lay of the land. There would be a spot just before the guardrail that he could get the Range Rover through and then they’d be flying out over the drop off and into the canyon a solid four-hundred or more feet below.
All he had to do was hit that hole right.
No matter how much bullet-proofing he’d put on the vehicle, it wouldn’t survive that fall. They wouldn’t survive that fall. That was the most important thing. Sitting at the bottom of the ravine injured would only be a worse spin on an already horrible situation.
Buck squeezed the leather steering wheel cover. “Are you sure?” He couldn’t deny he was nervous about the decision. He didn’t want to push her into anything, but they both had to be sure.
“Yes. I don’t want this anymore.” Pure conviction rang through her voice and Buck responded, grateful someone else had made the final decision. He didn’t want it either.
They didn’t need more words and Buck could accept the fact that he wasn’t his characters. He needed someone else to write his lines. He didn’t have any sense of bravado or misconceptions. This last act was what he could do for them. It was a way for them to be free. All he could do was press his foot to the pedal and take the acceleration with grace.
The curve appeared around the edge of the first wall climbing higher on their left. Maria pointed at the spot just before the guardrail. She’d had the same idea. Buck glanced at Maria. Tears rolled down her tight cheeks. She stared ahead, resolution strong in her expression.
Buck tucked his chin and pressed the gas harder. They’d hit the hole at about sixty-five miles an hour. There was no going back. At this point, there was no way he could slow them down. If they hit the guardrail, they’d maybe make it and suffer in pain for who knows how long. Their only choice was to go for it.
Do what they had opted to do in a split second of insanity. Follow through on impossible.
Now, even if their fear were enough to make them stop, they wouldn’t be able to.
Buck tamped down the nerves and sudden desire to fight to live. He didn’t have that option anymore. He was out of options.
One more glance at Maria from the corner of his eyes proved he was the only one with second thoughts. She’d suffered more than he had. She’d been under more pain and she wanted to go. She knew this was better than what was out there.
Anything would be better.
Buck set his jaw and hunched his shoulders. They were going to go over the edge and for the first time, he understood the ending of Thelma and Louise.
The smooth suspension of the Range Rover smothered the bumps in the cracked pavement. Buck gripped the steering wheel with both hands.
They hit the shoulder of the road and then bounced over the rocks and bushes. He overcorrected when the tires shifted on the gravelly surface and the side of the car scraped the guardrail.
“Don’t stop!” Maria’s scream reverberated through the rig as she reached out and gripped the handle above the door. She braced her hand on the dashboard.
That was it. They were suddenly flying, suspended in the air.
Done. Buck didn’t have to think anymore as he lifted up in his seat, his seatbelt keeping him from launching forward. He blacked out as the car smashed into the first bed of boulders on the edge of the mountainside.
Chapter 21
Perry
The solid thuds of men fists pounding on Cady would have been wince-inducing, if Perry didn’t know it would be better for everyone in the long run. Each woman there had been through something similar to establish their understanding in the group. Cady’s was harsher
, but her attitude was one that needed definitive breaking.
After her sounds of pain faded, Perry closed the distance between him and the group and stopped the men, sweat dripping from their brows and spittle flinging from their lips.
They’d given her one solid beating.
“That’s enough, guys.” Perry arched an eyebrow at Cady’s fetal position, with her hands and arms wrapped over her head. Perry crouched down, dangling his hands between his knees. “Have you had enough, Cady?” He reached down and wiped the blood dripping from a gash in her forehead. “This looks like you won’t survive much more. Maybe you should give in and admit you’re not in charge here.”
There was more Perry would demand of Cady, but at this point, the already bluing skin along her jawline suggested she probably wouldn’t be able to admit much of anything at the moment. He grunted as he bent down and picked her up, launching her over his shoulder. He stood and rolled his eyes at the men. “She’s not going to be speaking much right now. I’ll deal with her.” He’d already claimed her as his the night before when he’d killed Ted. No one, not even Dan, stood in his way.
Just the way it should be. He dropped Cady to her feet outside of his tent and shoved her inside. She didn’t fight him. Falling to the ground, she didn’t get up. She hunched over the edge of his bed and didn’t move.
Just as well. Perry didn’t want to get close to her with the bruising and blood on her face. He had stuff to get done anyway.
Back in the clearing, Perry jerked his chin toward the meeting place. As the men gathered, unwilling to argue or test Perry, he looked around with his arms folded across his chest.
“Today we’re going to gather the last of our neighbors. Those that choose not to join us, shoot them.” He stared down each man who challenged him with their eyes. He narrowed his eyes as one man half-raised his hand.
“Just kill them?” Bret looked confused. “What if they didn’t do anything?”
Death Days: post-apocalyptic survival story (180 Days and Counting... Series Book 10) Page 8