He just nodded. “We are going to start with the most basic moves then. I’m going to show you what you need to do today. You are going to practice on your own time and I expect you to have fully mastered them by the next time I see you.”
James appeared to be taking this seriously. I felt invigorated by the challenge he was giving me. I knew I could do this. I liked that he was giving me a fair chance to show him that I wasn’t going to be just a helpless female.
“The first thing I’m going to show you is a defensive stance. The goal is to keep your weight evenly distributed so it will be difficult for your opponent to knock you off balance regardless of what direction the blow comes from.”
James demonstrated, and I mimicked him carefully. He tapped on one of my thighs. “A little wider here.” I blushed but moved as he directed me.
He spent the next hour relentlessly drilling me and I had sweat dripping down my face by the time we were done. When we first started, I had thought that it would be difficult to keep my mind on the task. Especially since James was not shy about touching me to move my limbs into position. By the end of the session, I wasn’t even blushing every time he placed his hands on me.
James walked over to the mini fridge and tossed me a bottle of water. “Good job today.”
I looked at him in surprise and mumbled my thanks before gulping down my water in a very unladylike fashion. Was that a compliment?
“But I need you to work on strength training and general physical fitness in addition to our lessons here.” He added.
I smiled to myself as I put the cap back on the now empty bottle. At least I got a compliment before he told me that I was weak and out of shape. I wasn’t offended. I knew that he was just telling me what I needed to do to succeed at what he was trying to teach me here.
“We’ll have our lessons at five am here every morning and you can work on improving your strength with the twins in the evenings.” He continued.
I groaned internally but didn’t complain. Five in the morning, every morning? “What about weekends?” I asked cautiously. I really hoped he wasn’t expecting me to be here this early seven days a week.
“I think five days a week is enough for now.” He smiled at me and my heart started to beat a little faster. The rare smile from James was starting to happen more often. “I’m sure you will be busy on the weekends with everything else you need to do.” He added thoughtfully.
I smiled in relief. “Thanks for helping me with this, James.” I told him honestly. “I really appreciate it.
He quirked an eyebrow and walked towards me. “You should probably hurry up, you don’t want to be late for work.” He held out a hand to me. “I’ll take your empty bottle.”
“Um, thanks.” I answered awkwardly. I don’t know what I was expecting from him, but it wasn’t that. Was that James showing affection? I couldn’t picture James offering to take anyone else’s trash. Ever.
“Don’t forget,” I told him seriously. “We still need to have a talk about what you know about my family.” I might have been busy since I found out he was keeping secrets from me, but I had not forgotten about it.
I nodded, and I think I saw a little regret in his eyes. “Anna… I was going to talk to you once I found something concrete.” He swallowed. “I didn’t want to get your hopes up only to disappoint you.”
I nodded and reached out a hand to him. He took his hand in mine and stroked my skin with his thumb. I really did understand. James would want to be sure of something, he wouldn’t want to tell me anything that would be proven wrong later. An apology from James was shocking, but there’s no way he would want to admit to anyone that he was wrong about something.
“Thanks, James.” I said quietly. “I probably should hurry up. I’ll see you for dinner tonight?”
He nodded. “I’ll be here.”
I gave him one last smile and then hurried upstairs so that I could shower and get dressed. I passed a couple of the guys as I hurried through the house and gave them all a wave and a pleasant greeting.
I ran into the twins on my way upstairs. “Hey, Anna.” Mason greeted me. “Jase and I don’t have class until later, so we are going to stay here and get the house cleaned up.”
My heart dropped. I had gotten so used to them escorting me back and forth to work that I had stopped worrying about being out alone. I guess I had taken it for granted a little.
Jason saw the dismay on my face. “Aww, Anna. Don’t worry, we’ll be there to pick you up, so you can still get some twin time in today.” He teased me.
“Cody is going to take you in today.” Mason added. “He has a meeting on base this morning.”
I perked up, glad that I wouldn’t be alone. It would be nice to spend a little time with Cody, too.
“I didn’t have time to pack your lunches this morning.” I warned them. “So you guys are going to have to eat on campus.”
“That’s fine.” Jason said with a grin. “Today we’ll pack you a lunch.”
I laughed a little nervously at the glint of humor in his eyes.
Mason gave me a little nudge towards the stairs. “You better hurry if you want time for a shower.”
I laughed at the reversal of roles, but I ran up the stairs. Usually, I was the one who had to poke and prod them to get them out of the door on time.
I took a quick shower and twisted my wet hair back into a bun, it was just going to have to dry on the way there. I gathered up my bag and hustled downstairs to find Cody and my lunch.
I found Austin and Cody in the kitchen. “Good morning!” I greeted them both. “The twins said you’re taking me to work today?” I asked Cody, hoping he was ready to go.
“Ready when you are.” he told me. I smiled at him gratefully.
“Before you go, Anna.” Austin said with his serious face on. “I have some time later this evening, why don’t we sit down together and talk.”
I nodded nervously. “Am I in trouble?”
He laughed. “No, I just want to check in with you about how you’re fitting in with the pack. And I also have some business to discuss with you.”
I smiled in relief. “Sure, sounds good. I also have several things that I need to discuss with you.”
I followed Cody out to his SUV and there was a moment of uncomfortable silence after we both settled in. I had to think about when we had last spent time alone together, it felt like it been a while. I spent most of my free time with either Caleb or the twins. I still saw James, Austin, and Cody on a daily basis, but it was usually in a group.
I shifted in my chair. Maybe I should be making an effort to spend more time with Austin and Cody. After all, I was going to be seeing James every morning for the foreseeable future.
I opened up the lunch box to see what Jason had packed for me. I was feeling a little hungry after my workout this morning and Cody never turned down food.
I laughed when I saw just how much food Jason had crammed in here. Why did he think I would need two sandwiches for lunch? He had also packed me some pasta salad, pop tarts, and an apple.
I pulled out one of the sandwiches and offered Cody half. He hesitated for a moment but chuckled when he saw how much food was still left in my bag.
“Thanks, Anna.” He held the sandwich in one hand to eat it as he drove.
“What kind of meeting do you have this morning?” I asked Cody curiously. I knew he did volunteer work on base, but I wasn’t sure what that actually entailed.
He flashed me a smile after swallowing his last bite. “I am meeting with a bunch of guys who are on terminal leave now. I’m going to work with them to make sure they were able to find a place to stay once they get out and help them find leads on jobs. I’m also going to make sure that they establish a strong connection to the veteran community when they get out, so they don’t feel alone.”
I nodded empathetically. “I imagine that’s tough, especially if they don’t have family on the outside. The civilian world is a lot different from the mi
litary.”
He nodded. “Yeah, most guys are pretty excited to get out at first and feel some of the freedoms that civilians are used to. But for some guys it can be a difficult transition. When you’re in, you have people around you who are constantly making sure you have a place to live, that you have a place to go on holidays, that you don’t get behind the wheel of a car after drinking. All that oversight can seem really overbearing, but once you’re alone in the world and absolutely no one gives a fuck if you’re homeless, or in jail…”
His voice got a little rough as he trailed off. He cleared his throat and glanced over at me before taking another bite of the sandwich.
“Yeah, I can see the difference, even though I’m a little on the outside of all that.” I told him quietly.
He looked over at me in surprise. “Because you’re a civilian?”
“Kind of. It was a little tough for me at first because all the enlisted are close. They go out for drinks all the time, or have parties, or just go to the movies. But because I’m a pharmacist, there’s that invisible line that separates us because pharmacists are usually officers.”
He nodded. “But what about the other officers?”
I sighed. “They are all really friendly, but they have an officer’s club that I’m just not a part of. They have an officer’s lounge, and officer only events, and can call each other by their first names.”
“I’m kind of in this awkward place between the two.” I shrugged at him. “I’m not complaining, I really love working there and I love all my coworkers but… I think I didn’t realize how much I was really missing out on until I met you guys. I’ve always felt like I’m on the outside, I’ve never felt like I was a part of anything before.”
He gave me a warm smile. “You are at the center of our pack right now, Anna.”
He finished what was left of his part of the sandwich while I was still nibbling on mine.
“I’m nervous about my place in the pack.” I blurted out.
He chuckled, probably getting used to me blurting out randomness.
“Anna, I can tell you that all of us intend to keep you there with us. We will work out your place with time.”
I chewed a bite slowly before swallowing and looked at him nervously. Should I ask him? Would it be weird to talk about dating his friends? He had pretended to go out on a date with me after we first met, but I knew that was just for show. Cody would never be interested in a girl like me.
“Um…. What if I dated someone in the pack?” I asked cautiously.
He looked at me sharply. “Dated? You mean, other than Austin?”
I turned bright red. Did everyone in the pack assume that Austin and I were an item? Or that we would be inevitably?
“Um, yeah.” I said quietly.
He watched me carefully as he came to a stop at a red light. “I don’t know.” He told me honestly, and ran a hand through his hair.
I sighed and slumped down in my seat a little. That’s what I was afraid of.
His attention went back to the road as the light turned green. “Did Caleb talk to you?” He asked curiously.
I blushed. Had Caleb talked to Cody about this already? “Yes…” I said nervously.
He let out a breath and looked over at me sadly. Why was he sad? Did he think I was going to mess things up for his pack?
“As long as you feel comfortable with what’s happening.” He said slowly. “I don’t want Caleb or anyone else to pressure you into anything that you don’t feel ready for.”
I smiled at him. “Thanks, Cody.”
“I mean it.” He insisted. “Even if it’s Austin. You just let me know and I’ll talk to him about it. You never have to worry about confronting any of those guys on your own.”
I smiled at him in appreciation. It was really comforting that I had this giant wolf of a man at my back. I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about that with any of the guys, they were all very respectful of my space, but I appreciated the thought.
We pulled up to the base and the line at the gate was even longer than usual, probably because it was Monday.
“Hey, Anna?” Cody asked, tapping a finger on the steering wheel.
“Yeah?” I set down what was left of the sandwich. I should pack it back up before we got to the parking garage since I wouldn’t be able to finish right now.
“Have you talked to Austin yet? About Caleb?”
My face turned red again. “No, Caleb wanted to talk to the twins first.”
Cody looked at me sharply. “The twins?” He narrowed his eyes at me. “They haven’t tried anything with you, have they?”
“No, not really.” My face burned as I thought about what we had done in the pool. “Well, nothing that I didn’t want them to do.”
He looked at me in shock and I squirmed a little. “Caleb said sometimes female wolves have more than one mate, so it’s not really that weird.” I told him. I probably sounded a little bit defensive.
He sat back in his seat as we slowly moved through the line of cars getting their IDs checked. “It’s not weird, Anna. I was just surprised for a second. I guess I had you pegged as more of the type of female that wanted the princess type wedding and a Disney happy ending.”
I laughed, and I hated that there was some bitterness in my tone. “I’ve lived enough life to know that there is never a Disney happy ending. Something always goes wrong.”
I shrugged at him. “I know this would probably seem weird to humans, but it just kind of feels right to me. When I’m with Caleb or the twins I have a feeling that this is where I belong. I don’t really question it until I tell someone out loud and kind of dread their judgement.”
Talking about it with Cody was helping me to process a lot of the thoughts that had been swirling through my mind. “Honestly,” I said slowly. “I don’t think I would doubt it at all if I wasn’t afraid of judgement or causing problems in the pack.”
“You shouldn’t let what other people think get to you.” Cody told me quietly.
“I know.” I told him firmly. “I’m working on that. On becoming stronger and more confident in who I am.”
“I’ve noticed a difference.” Cody smiled at me.
I smiled back at him, pleased.
“So… Caleb, Mason, Jason, and Austin.” Cody said, watching me carefully.
“I’m not sure how Austin feels about me.” I told him honestly.
Cody shrugged. “I can’t answer for him. You should just talk to him about it. He will be honest, and you will feel better once you know one way or another.”
I nodded. He was right, there was no reason for me to sit here and wonder.
“Anyone else?” Cody asked, still watching me.
I chewed my lip nervously. Should I mention James? James had never confessed to liking me. He had not said he wanted to date or would consider me as a mate. Plus, I didn’t feel right exposing some of James’s potential feelings to Cody. What if I was wrong? I already told Caleb, but that was something I blurted out accidentally.
The gate guard saved me from answering as we pulled up to the guardhouse and he asked for our IDs. The guard scanned both our IDs before waving us forward.
I changed the subject, hoping Cody wouldn’t notice. “Are you still going to be here at lunch time?”
Cody shook his head regretfully. “I’m only going to be here a couple hours before I have some training to do with a few of the guys in the pack.”
“Oh.” I said disappointedly.
Cody grinned at me. “You sounded a little disappointed?”
I smiled at him. “Well, Yeah. I never get any Cody time to myself anymore.”
He gave me a huge grin and his eyes lit up a little. “Maybe we should change that.”
He pulled into a parking space in the parking garage and we got out of the vehicle. He reached into the back to get my bag and hand it to me.
“Maybe this weekend?” He asked hopefully.
“Sure.” I smiled at him.
&nb
sp; He stepped a little closer to me. “Hey, Anna…”
I pulled my bag up my shoulder to look at him.
“I-“ he was interrupted when a couple of voices called out for me. I waved as I saw a couple of my coworkers heading in my direction.
They caught up to me and I introduced them to Cody. Two of the girls had wide eyes when they looked at him. He was a really big guy.
Janine gave me a shoulder bump as we walked toward the entrance to the hospital. “Girrllll… that man is fine. Where did you find him? More importantly, does he have a single brother?”
I giggled. I decided it was easier to tell her nope, no brother, than it would be to try and explain who Cody was. Cody pretended not to hear as he chatted with my other coworkers while we walked inside. Janine gave me an elbow to the ribs when he held the door open for all of us.
Cody grabbed my hand when we got close to the pharmacy and we stopped in the hallway. My three coworkers hesitated further down the hallway, pretending to walk very slowly to the locker room as if they were not listening to every word Cody would say to me. Was this high school?
“Have a good day at work.” He murmured and leaned down to give me a kiss on the cheek. I turned bright red, but I did enjoy the sign of affection.
I could hear Janine and the other two giggling, but I pretended not to hear them as I told Cody goodbye and rushed to the locker room. Today was going to be a long day, I was going to be teased about this mercilessly.
I smiled to myself and touched my cheek where Cody had pressed his lips. Totally worth it, though.
I made it through the interrogation in the locker room without giving away any real information about Cody, my current living situation, or my feelings for any of the guys. As I was dodging questions I realized just how many secrets I now had to keep from my coworkers.
I was used to keeping what I was a secret, but I’ve never had to hide this much before. If I told anyone what was going on in my life right now I’m pretty sure that they would have security escort me straight to the psych ward on the fifth floor.
I was a little glad I when I was sent downstairs to work in the emergency department today instead of in the main pharmacy. We didn’t always have a clinical pharmacist staff the ER, but we had the extra people and there was a group of patients being transferred here from the military hospital in Germany.
Finding the Fire Within: Seaside Wolf Pack Book 2 Page 14