“I couldn’t tell him, Gray. Only you, my therapist and my mother know what happened to me during captivity.” Sky gave him a pleading look. “I only told you because I know SEALs have PTSD given they are constantly on dangerous missions and see horrible, horrible things. I knew you’d understand.”
Damn. Gray found himself aching to stop the horses, lean over and pull Sky into his arms and hold her. The stark look of raw terror was clear in her expression, in the quaver of her low voice. “You didn’t tell your father anything?”
Shaking her head, Sky looked down at the saddle horn, ashamed. “N-no, I couldn’t. He distrusted me. And honestly, there’s a lot I don’t remember about it to this day.”
Breathing a sigh of relief, Gray murmured, “That’s not all bad, Sky.”
“The therapist said it was locked in my memory. Said my brain would decide if or when I’d recall any, some or all of it.”
“Do you remember much beyond what you told me?” Gray held a breath, hoping like hell it was erased in Sky’s memory.
“After the first day of waterboarding, everything is a blank. I don’t know why... It just was... I remember pieces, the SEALs breaking down the door to rescue me. I remember a man’s voice. I remembered his touch on my shoulder. I saw the care in his eyes. I heard it in his voice, but that’s all.”
Gray’s mouth thinned. He couldn’t tell Sky he’d talked to Jag, the SEAL whom she had seen, who had been gentle toward her in that filthy torture room. “I know SEALs who don’t remember to this day bad things that happened to them, Sky. Maybe your memory, your brain, is protecting you.”
“I’m not sure, Gray. My therapist told me the nightmares were about what the brain has refused to give me memories about. I hate the nightmares.” She flashed him an apologetic look. “They drove my dad crazy. I kept waking my parents up almost every night. It was pretty bad.”
And she’d had no one to hold her safe, to talk her down, Gray thought, feeling anger stirring toward her callous father. He knew most people didn’t have a clue about how PTSD affected a person after they’d survived a trauma. All they saw was a highly unstable, angry and irritable person who seemed to switch personalities on them. Yeah, he’d been there, done that. And he knew her parents were probably feeling pretty inept and helpless to give Sky what she needed in order to start healing. “People don’t understand PTSD,” he told her, regret in his voice as he swung his gaze toward the curve they were approaching. “I’m sure your parents love you but they feel helpless.”
Nodding, Sky said, “Yes, exactly. My mother wanted me to go to a medicine woman she knows and get a series of sweat-lodge ceremonies to help me heal, but it just wasn’t my way.” Sky watched him with a hopeful look. “But what you said about Dr. McPherson? If you could give me her phone number when we get back, I’d really like to call for an appointment.”
“Be happy to,” Gray said. “You’ll like Jordana. She’s a lot like you, very caring and compassionate.”
Feeling heat sweep up her neck and into her face, Sky felt chagrin. The expression in Gray’s eyes was a mix of care, concern and desire. This living connection throbbed between them, wild, almost out of control. It affected her physically as well as emotionally. “I need to do something. I can’t use you as a crutch, Gray.”
The somberness of her statement hit Gray hard. “Listen,” he told her in a growl, “don’t go there, Sky. I am someone you can lean on while you’re getting your feet under you again. I told you last night I wouldn’t leave you or walk away when you had those nightmares, and I won’t. It makes no difference to me if you have them every night or once a week. I’ll be there for you.” And then he forced a slight smile. “Hell, you’d do the same for me, wouldn’t you?”
Sky gave a mirthful smile and touched her cheek that felt so hot beneath his dark inspection. “Of course I would. I did it for the men and women in my hospital ward. I’d do it for you.”
“No matter how often, right?” He drilled her with a hard look because he had to bring this home to Sky that she was worth saving. Worth caring for. Worth helping her to survive this.
“Without question,” Sky murmured.
“Well,” he told her, “that’s how I feel toward you, Sky. The same commitment you gave your patients who were in your ward recovering from wounds is the same one I have toward you. It’s no different, baby. Okay?” And Gray held her glistening blue gaze. His passionate, growling words had brought tears to her eyes. He watched her fight them back, swallow a couple of times and then control them.
Baby. Sky trembled inwardly, and it wasn’t from fear. It was naked, burning need making her body react. Gray had called her by that endearment last night. The word had such power to her, had such a profound healing effect on her raw emotional state. “That makes sense,” she admitted. “I—I just don’t want to become a burden to you, Gray. I work for you. I want to be of help to you at the wildlife center.”
He held up his hand. “Look,” he coaxed, “I know that. Iris knows that. But she and I both know you need a little time and space to heal, too, Sky. And we’re okay with it, and you need to be, too. Fair enough?” He added a slight smile. Gray watched Sky bow her head for a moment and tuck her lower lip between her teeth, worrying it. He reached out, his hand settling on her shoulder. “It’s all right, Sky. You’re a fighter, and you’re doing a helluva job of landing on your feet again. You’re so used to helping others. Now let us help you through this rough patch.” He curled his fingers around her shoulder, giving her a small, gentle shake.
“Some days I feel strong, Gray. And there’s other days when I feel like my feet have been knocked out from beneath me.”
“And on those days when you’re feeling like you’re flailing around, tell me, all right? Because I’ll know not to pile too many demands on you. It comes down to communication, Sky, and I need that from you.”
“You’ll have it. Thanks for understanding.”
Gray’s horse suddenly snorted and planted his feet, nearly unseating him.
Sky’s horse grunted and did the same.
“What?” Sky whispered, her gaze anchored on the corner of the trail. She heard sounds and couldn’t make them out around the corner. “What’s going on?”
With a hiss, Gray leaned down and hauled the .300 Win Mag rifle out of the leather sheath beneath his right leg. “Grizzly. Keep your horse under control,” he rasped as he unsafed the rifle and put a round in the chamber.
The horses were skittish, wanting to turn around and run away. Gray held his horse in tight check, using the reins and his legs to force the gelding to remain where he was.
Sky’s whole world amped up with sheer adrenaline flooding her bloodstream. She couldn’t see the bear, but she heard growls and snarls drifting around the corner. “What do you want me to do?” She had no weapon on her. Gray had locked and loaded the rifle, the butt resting on his right thigh, his entire focus on the curve of the trail.
“Stay close. Grizzlies this time of year are starving because they’ve come out of six months of hibernation. They’re aggressive. Stay behind me, Sky.”
“Yes,” she whispered, holding the horse’s reins, forcing the buckskin to stand his ground. Thank God she knew how to ride.
“Follow me,” Gray whispered, his gaze locked forward, his gloved hand around the rifle. A .300 Win Mag was one of the SEAL rifles of choice for snipers. Gray had never been a sniper, but he knew how to handle this powerful weapon. He never rode anywhere without this rifle in a sheath beneath his right leg. Grizzlies were plentiful in this area and were the apex predator in the valley.
As he forced his balking horse around the corner, Gray lifted his chin and looked up on the thickly wooded hill. Shit! A large, dark brown male grizzly tore into the hillside. A white wolf was snapping at him, growling and snarling, trying to stop him from digging into a burrow that was obvious
ly her home.
Gray cursed again softly. He felt Sky’s horse near his, and he whispered, “The grizzly’s found a mother wolf’s den. Chances are, she has pups in there. This is going to get messy, Sky. Stay close.”
A scream lurched into Sky’s throat. She saw the white female wolf barrel in and leap at the grizzly’s head. The bear was digging into the soft, muddy hillside with five-inch claws, dirt flying all over the place. The wolf slammed into the bear, biting down savagely on the bruin’s broad, thick head. The grizzly reared out of the hole, roaring. It slapped at the wolf, its claws sinking deep into the animal’s side.
Sky winced as the wolf screamed and yelped. Tears slammed into her eyes as she watched in horror the blood spurting from the wolf’s side, turning her white fur red.
The grizzly growled, grabbed the wolf with both front paws and bit down into her back, slicing through her spinal column.
A short shriek filled the area. Sky cried out as the white wolf suddenly went limp between the bear’s massive paws. At the same time, she heard the deep boom of Gray’s Win Mag.
The bear woofed and jerked around toward them. His small black eyes were surrounded by red, making him look like an evil monster.
Gray fired the rifle again.
The bullet hit inches from the bear’s rear legs. Her horse reared, trying to get away from her, panicked with the smell of the grizzly’s scent in the air. An eight-hundred-pound bruin could kill a horse. Easily. Not to mention, a human. As she struggled, Sky noticed Gray’s calm and focus. He had a choke hold on his gelding’s bit, the horse standing and shaking as he fired a third time.
The grizzly looked back at the opened wolf lair and then glared at them.
Gray fired again.
This time, the bear suddenly lunged forward, galloping up across the hill and disappearing over the crown of it.
Sky let go of a held breath. She hadn’t even realized she’d been holding it. Tears blurred her vision. “Oh, my God, Gray, there are three pups that are dead outside the den!” she cried out, jabbing her index finger up toward the lair.
Dismounting quickly, Gray handed her the reins to his horse. “Stay here. That grizzly probably won’t reappear, but I’m not taking any chances. It could circle behind us and attack us.”
She grabbed the reins to his horse, unable to stop her tears. Three small pups, two of them white and one gray, so very tiny, lay unmoving outside the half-destroyed den. Sky felt her heart ripping open. She watched Gray move with lethal swiftness up the hillside. The area was still muddy and wet from the last of the winter snow. He held the rifle in his right hand, searching around, always looking for the bear to possibly return for his kills.
Gray gazed down at the slaughter. Was the bruin going after what was left of the den? Gray laid the rifle down, close enough to reach in case he needed it again. Getting down on his hands and knees, he moved into the den. Were there any pups left?
He pulled out the dry dirt the grizzly had been digging into. Moving it with both hands, he heard a little wolf yip. Gray pulled a small flashlight he always carried on him out of his pocket and flicked it on, peering inside.
Three little wolf pups, one white, one black and one gray, were all piled up into a little fuzzy hair ball at the very end of the den. This was what the bear had been after: the rest of the white wolf’s pups who were still alive. These three blind little survivors had crawled to the back, trying instinctively to escape death. And they had.
Gray pulled out of the den and looked around. So far, the bear hadn’t returned. He looked down the hill at Sky. She was white-faced. The carnage was probably triggering all kinds of silent terror within her.
“Hey, Sky,” he called, “dismount and tie those horses up. Then come up here. I need your help getting these three wolf pups out. They’re alive and okay.”
CHAPTER NINE
“OH, MY GOD,” Sky breathed, kneeling down next to Gray in front of the destroyed wolf den. “They’re so precious!”
Gray heard the well of emotion in her voice. He’d pulled all three pups out, filling his large, gloved hands. “They’re lucky little things. They were probably born three days ago. Their eyes won’t open for another two weeks.” He twisted his head, catching her wide-eyed gaze as she stared down at them with a maternal look on her face. “Which one do you want?” He offered the squirming, mewing pups. “Pick one and then we’ll carry them down to the horses.”
There was sudden light in Sky’s flawless eyes as she leaned forward, their heads nearly touching. Her fingers curled around the pup on the top, the white one.
“I’ll take her,” she whispered unsteadily, gently holding the tiny white baby between her hands. Sky gently stroked the pup’s tiny, pug-nosed face. The pup’s little skull was broad, as if her black nose were smashed up against her tightly closed eyes. “I’ve never seen a wolf pup before,” Sky breathed softly. “What should I do, Gray? How should I hold her?”
Gray smiled as he stuffed the black wolf pup into one pocket and the gray pup into the other. They would remain warm and safe there for now. “Hold that little tyke for now, but once we get on the trail, I’ll hold the pup for you until you mount up. Then I’ll slide her into your jacket pocket. She’ll be warm and protected there until we can get her back to the center.” Gray looked around, always alert, always sensing. The bear would be back sooner or later. He’d have a meal of the mother wolf and her luckless three pups. Gray didn’t want to tell Sky that. She was shaken enough by this tragic and unexpected event.
“Okay,” she whispered, her whole focus on the squirming little pup who made mewing sounds, nuzzling and butting her head into her jacket, looking for what Sky thought might be her mother’s milk.
Gray slid his hand beneath Sky’s elbow and helped her stand. “Let’s get going.” He picked up the rifle and urged her ahead of him. Gray searched the crown of the hill above them. He could sense that grizzly was waiting nearby. Out of sight, but still a danger to them. Gray didn’t want the bear coming back before they had left. He turned, seeing that Sky had made it down to the trail and was standing by the unsettled, nervous horses.
Hurrying down the hill, dodging trees, Gray walked over to his nervous gelding, whose ears were flicking restlessly back and forth. The black horse’s nostrils were flared wide, drinking in the surrounding scents. Gray slid the rifle into the sheath. He and the horses knew the bear was nearby, just waiting. He moved between the horses and gently took the white wolf pup from Sky’s hands.
“Mount up,” he told her, pulling the looped knot free from the tree she’d tied the buckskin’s reins around.
Excitedly, Sky mounted and took the reins. She opened up her left pocket. Gray carefully deposited the whimpering little pup into it and then buttoned it closed. “Okay, we’re good to go.”
Sky watched Gray mount. He reached down and pulled the rifle out of the sheath once more, unsafed it, putting another round into the chamber. She gulped. “Do you think the bear will attack us?”
“I’m just being careful,” he told her, turning his horse around. They’d go back the way they came. “Come on. I want you to ride in front of me, Sky. I’ll bring up the rear.”
Sky nodded and felt that powerful sense of safety wash over her. Gray was in SEAL mode, alert and protective. His face was hard and unreadable, his hazel eyes narrowed and piercing. Sky urged her buckskin into a ground-eating walk. She didn’t want the horse to trot, fearing it would be upsetting to the poor little wolf pup who’d just been orphaned.
Once they were clear of the hills, Gray took his cell phone and called Rudd Mason, the manager, who had luckily come into the office earlier than usual this time of morning.
Sky listened to the conversation. Every once in a while, she’d open the button on the pocket flap and peer into it. The little white wolf pup was sleeping. She’d taken off her gloves and, wi
th her index finger, softly stroked the pup. The baby jerked and whimpered.
“It’s going to be all right,” Sky soothed softly to her. She didn’t know if the pup was a he or she, but it felt female to her. She heard Gray end the call.
“Rudd will alert Wyoming Fish and Game,” he told her, tucking the cell into an upper pocket of his jacket.
“Does that mean they’ll come and get them?”
“No.” Gray smiled. He had put the rifle away once they were half a mile from the hill region. “I’m licensed by the state of Wyoming to keep wild animals and medically care for them. These three pups will be allowed to remain with us. We’ll be responsible for them.”
Happiness flooded Sky. “That’s wonderful! I was so afraid they’d be taken away.” She saw amusement glimmering in Gray’s eyes. There was more green to them right now, and she was coming to realize when he was happy, that was the primary color she saw.
“Don’t be so quick to be happy. You do realize that pups feed two to four times a day from their mother? That means you and I are going to be sleeping and waking up during the night to take care of them.”
“I’ll love every second of it.”
“I figured you would,” he groused, smiling fully. There was excitement dancing in Sky’s eyes. Her cheeks flushed, hope radiant in her face. As much as Gray lamented that a wolf mother and three of her pups had been killed, this unexpected situation could turn out to be a gift to Sky. She needed something to focus on other than herself. Gray felt his own heart open wide because he saw her happy for the first time. And God knew he wanted to make Sky happy.
Gray rubbed his jaw in thought. “We’re going to probably have a state wildlife agent visit us this afternoon. He’ll want to check out the pups, take their photos, get their sex and make sure they’re healthy.”
“Then what?”
“We’ll be given permission to care for them.”
Sky could barely contain her joy. “Can we name them, Gray? Or does the state give them a number or something?”
Wolf Haven (The Wyoming Series Book 9) Page 10