If anything could have ever really happened between us, there was no way it could now. We could barely continue our working relationship, never mind anything more.
There was so much jealousy and bad feeling between the three of us, it was unreal. I had no idea how we could ever recover from this awfulness. I wasn’t sure if it was even possible.
I hated myself for getting in such a mess, for allowing things to go so wrong all over again. I’d sat back and allowed things to go to shit with Mike, and in a weird way this felt a little like history repeating itself – everything spiraling out of my control, and me feeling powerless to stop it.
Only this time there could be no running away, I had nowhere else to go.
*****
Brad
I couldn’t even begin to know where my head was at. I was a fucking mess. I still liked Anna a lot, but my feelings towards Logan had shifted too. I felt things for him on a whole new level. It was as if I was completely and utterly addicted to him. I could never have seen that coming.
I’d even kissed him a couple of times since that night – I just couldn’t seem to help myself around him – but I hadn’t told Anna. I was sure that she’d probably understand if I did, but I also thought it would mean the end of her and me. I wasn’t fully ready to close the door on us, just in case the thing with Logan turned out to be a mistake. It felt like cheating on her when I kissed Logan, and I hated it. The feeling only got worse. It didn’t help that Logan and Anna seemed to hate each other now too.
They were constantly at one another’s throats and it was driving me insane. All they did was bitch, and argue, and fight, and I was the cause of it all. If I could just find a way to be honest with everyone, then maybe the bitterness would stop, but I was petrified of hurting someone, and of making the wrong choice. I didn’t want to lose either of them if I could help it.
I was sure that I was acting cowardly, and pathetic, and probably hurtful to both of them, but I couldn’t seem to find a way to stop it.
*****
Logan
I couldn’t stand Anna being anywhere near him anymore, even when he was working with her. What had once been a small twist of jealousy in my stomach, was now an oversized, all-consuming jade-green monster that took over my entire body. Any time she was even in the same room as him, I hated her guts. I just couldn’t stop myself from picturing them fucking – and picturing them was a lot easier now that I’d seen it happen in front of my eyes.
I didn’t like feeling that way, but I couldn’t damn well help myself. Deep down I wished that I could stop being a dick to Anna; that I could just talk to her like the grown adult I was. But I just seemed to have zero control over myself.
Brad and I had kissed three times since that night, which I wanted to take as a sign that he’d chosen me, but in reality I had no idea if he was doing that with her too. It was driving me crazy.
Of course, all of this could be solved by being open and talking, but somehow that hadn’t yet happened. Too much poison in the air.
“Just give it a rest,” Anna sneered at me, in the middle of yet another row. “I can’t stand listening to you anymore.” Her tone was bitter, but it was tired too. She was just as worn out with all of this as I was.
“Stop it,” Brad pleaded pathetically. “Both of you just stop.”
With the weary look in his eyes too, that was the moment that I decided I couldn’t take it for another second. We were going round and round in circles, getting nowhere, and it was driving me insane. Brad was at the center of all of this, and he was doing nothing to make it right, not really. It was time he stepped up, and actually told us where his head was at.
“Okay, that’s it,” I snapped, standing up and moving away from them. I tried to keep my voice down because we were in the gym and I didn’t want the bosses or other clients to overhear, but it didn’t quite work. “Brad, you need to decide. I can’t stand another day of this bitchiness – all because none of us know where we stand anymore. Choose! Me, Anna, or no one. You can’t keep screwing us both around like this. We’re all a fucking mess and we need some answers.”
“Yeah,” Anna agreed with me for the first time in a very long time. “I think that’s best for everyone. It’s the not knowing that’s killer.” To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if she wanted him for a long term thing, or if she’d just gotten caught up in the madness, but I was glad that she was on my side at any rate.
“I… I…” Brad whimpered, glancing between us both. I couldn’t believe that he was still being indecisive. What the fuck was wrong with him? How the hell did he not know where his heart lay?
“If you can’t decide, then I’m gone,” I practically yelled at him. “I’m leaving this job, I can’t stand facing you like this every damn day, while you dither. It’s not fair. It’s tearing me apart. I’ll end up getting fired anyway.”
“Maybe that’s for the best,” Anna stated, starting to sound a little calmer and more diplomatic. “Maybe none of us should talk again. Maybe that’s how this is supposed to end – a clean break for all of us.”
I really meant my words, whereas Anna was obviously only saying them out of anger, but I let that go because she was reiterating my point. If Brad could understand that he was going to lose everyone if he didn’t speak out now, it might finally encourage him to be brave.
“I…” he began, but still he didn’t answer us, and that damn near broke my heart. I’d known that I wanted him forever. If he wasn’t totally sure about me, then I didn’t want to know anymore. No more of this torment. I wouldn’t be second choice, or someone to settle with – no fucking way.
Sensing we would get nothing from him today, I turned on my heels and stalked from the building, just stopping long enough to shout “I quit!” at the boss.
Tears threatened to pour down my cheeks, but I forced them to stay inside. I refused to cry until I was in the privacy of my own home – not over that wanker. I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.
I heard Anna’s footsteps closely behind me, but I refused to look at her.
“It’s you, you know?” I heard her say behind me, but I stubbornly continued to look everywhere else. “It’s always been you, he’s just too afraid to say so. He’s scared of hurting me, and making a scary leap of faith. I know that might not be enough for you, but I just wanted you to know.” My breaths became labored, but I still didn’t speak. “Anyway, I’m sorry for everything. This situation has made me act a little crazy. I hope you get it sorted out in the end.”
And with that, I heard her footsteps fade away as we unhappily left one another’s lives forever.
*****
Epilogue
Anna
One year later…
“Kevin?” I called across the hallway of my brand new apartment – a tiny place, but one that I loved with all my heart. “Are you ready to go out?”
I’d been with Kevin for five months now, and my feelings showed no signs of fading. He was just so different to what I was used to. He was calm, considerate, honest, and dependable – everything I’d ever needed, even if I’d never known it. He was easy to be with, which was the main thing for me, after all I’d been through. There was nothing standing in our way – no brothers, no love triangle, no cheating, no lying .We could just be. That freedom felt so new, and good.
It had taken me a long time to recover from what had happened with Brad and Logan – especially since that final argument, where I’d worked out that I was the bad guy, the one standing in the way of happiness – but we were all in a good place now.
In hindsight, I could see that I’d brought all the upset from my time with Mike into the complication of us, which was why I’d allowed Logan’s hurt to get under my skin. It was why I had allowed myself to get into a pointless competition with him over a guy who – although very gorgeous – was completely wrong for me. He would never have been anything more than a fling, no matter who else had been in the picture. Even without the worry of
Harry and the stress of Logan, we wouldn’t have made it long term. He was a rebound, a distraction, and now he was a great friend – so it really all worked out the way that it was supposed to.
A few months after it had all happened, we’d decided to meet up, to go over things now that we’d all cooled down. I was happy to discover that Brad and Logan were now a fully-fledged couple, and still going strong – they were always meant to be. They were perfect for one another, and seeing them so in love had made me want that for myself once more.
I could look back on that night now with a happy feeling. It was a good memory, in among all the bad stuff that had happened, and I enjoyed thinking about it. It was probably the only time I would ever act so crazily, and I was grateful that I’d had that experience. It was certainly something that I would never forget.
“I’m ready, what time are we meeting the guys?” Kevin knew all about what had happened, and he was surprisingly okay with it. It was hard not to be, seeing how adorably in love they were. They were definitely no threat to us anyway, just as I wasn’t to them.
We occasionally hung out as a foursome, and it was great. It may have been a long complex road to get there, but we were all happy now and that was all that mattered.
As Kevin stepped into the room in a dashing blue suit, I felt my heart melt all over again for him. He was the most handsome man I’d ever laid my eyes upon – sandy blond hair, deep brown warm eyes, and a smile that made me weak at the knees. And on top of that, he supported my new fitness studio wholeheartedly, even though he was a banker who’d never even been for a run. We had a lot in common, but it was our differences that made us exciting. It gave us something to banter over.
I was already pretty certain that Kevin would be the guy I would marry. Although, I hadn’t told him that yet…
THE END
Bonus Story 27 of 40
Stallion MC
Laura
“Same again, Brian?” I asked the older guy sitting lazily at the bar. He’d been sitting in the same position for the last few hours, drinking himself into oblivion, in the same way he did every single day.
He was one of the regulars at the dive bar where I worked. I saw him all the time. He spilled his guts out to me over and over again. I knew all about his divorce, his children that wouldn’t see him, and the leaky roof in his apartment. Yet all he knew about me was my first name. He didn’t know my full name – Laura Marie Jays. But then again, no one did. I kept to myself, locked the real me away, and never let anyone in. It was the only way I felt I could survive.
I wouldn’t be here forever anyway, so it didn’t really matter what anyone knew about me. I was only working this crappy job and living in my dingy apartment while I tried to get enough money together to really start my life.
Although… I’d been thinking that for a very long time and it hadn’t gotten me anywhere. I was still here, nowhere near closer to getting away.
When I’d left my old life behind, escaping all the issues I was facing, I’d taken nothing with me. I went in such a hurry that I simply didn’t have time, and now I was making up for that, working every hour I could get, for a wage that I was barely surviving on.
Maybe it had been a mistake to leave, but at the time I couldn’t see any other option.
“Yeah,” Brian answered in a grunt, shaking me from my thoughts of the past. “Ale.”
“Coming right up,” I said. I plastered the bright fake smile across my face, and poured his drink. There was no point in thinking about my former life – that was all far behind me anyway. I hadn’t seen any of the people from those days for years – not even my parents – and I would only upset myself if I continued to dwell on those thoughts.
“Quiet in here,” Brian commented. “You gonna be closing up early?” The manager always left closing time to me when it was my shift. He knew I wouldn’t hang around if the place was empty, but also that I’d stay open if necessary.
Well, it was either trust or laziness. Maybe he just couldn’t be bothered to come and lock up himself.
“Yeah maybe,” I murmured, already thinking about climbing into bed early. A nice night’s sleep was just what I needed.
But then the doors to the bar swung open, and a large group of leather-clad guys strolled in as if they owned the place, completely taking over.
I sighed deeply, my fantasies of an early night vanishing into thin air as I now knew that it was going to be a very late night.
This was a biker gang. I could tell by the matching patches plastered across their vests. I knew firsthand how much those guys liked to drink. We often had gangs like that in here, although this was a new one that I hadn’t seen before.
“Hey doll face?” One of them called over to me, in a smarmy, sexist tone. “Can we get a round?”
“Sure,” I said, acting far sweeter than I felt. “What do you all want?”
But before they could speak their order aloud, my eyes fell on one of the bikers, and I felt my heart freeze in my chest. Finally, after all these years, my past had caught up with me.
I gasped as it hit me that I couldn’t do anything, that I was stuck. That I was going to have to face up to all that I left behind.
*****
Mac
“Laura?” I gasped in complete and utter shock. I hadn’t seen Laura in a very long time, and I couldn’t believe that she was here now.
But it was her, of that I was certain.
We were childhood best friends. We were next-door neighbors from birth, and as we grew up we quickly became inseparable. I adored her, and I always assumed that she did me. I thought that we would end up together, married.
But it seemed that she didn’t feel the same way. It seemed like my love wasn’t reciprocated.
When we hit our late teens, she started to be swayed by the attentions of an older, extremely charismatic guy. Fenton. I couldn’t blame her of course, we all fell under his spell in one way or another, but it hurt like hell to see her share her first kiss with him, then slowly fall in love with him.
I was tossed aside, placed firmly in the friend zone, and that was the way it stayed until she vanished out of my life and into thin air – leaving everyone behind her, including Fenton.
And I never heard from her again, until now. I’d spent a lot of time trying to push any thoughts of her to the back of my mind, but staring at her again had it all flooding back – the memories, the feelings, the love…
This was definitely the girl I’d loved for most of my life – she had the same flock of red hair, the same piercing green eyes, and the same smile. But she was different too. She’d grown into a beautiful woman, with the most curvaceous body I’d ever seen. She was even better now than she had been then.
Wow, she still had the same effect on me, after all this time.
“Mac?” she gasped, looking completely blindsided. “Fenton?”
Of course, in all of my surprise, I’d forgotten that he was here too.
After Laura left town, I was completely lost. I didn’t know what to do without her anymore, even if she was never technically ‘mine’. I began to rely on Fenton, who was the only one who could understand how I felt – not that we ever really discussed it – and in doing so, I allowed him to draw me into the Stallion Motorcycle Club, and the associated lifestyle.
And that was where we’d been ever since – travelling like a pack of wolves, working odd jobs to make ends meet, and frequenting crappy bars like this one.
It wasn’t the life I thought I’d grow into, but it was the only one I had. It felt right.
At least, it had done until Laura gave me that disbelieving look.
*****
Fenton
“Still smoking hot, I see,” I said to Laura. I leaned towards her, kissing her lightly on the cheek, as a blush practically consumed her whole body. It may have been a shock to see her, but I was always quick to recover, and this time was no different.
As time had gone past, I’d all but forgotten ho
w fun it was to wind Laura up. She was all coy and sweet in public, but get her in the bedroom and… well, that was a whole different story!
Our youthful romance had been a hell of a lot of fun. She’d been experimental, up for anything, and always horny! I’d loved it. She was the first chick to ever keep me interested for longer than a couple of nights, and to me that was something special.
It was a shame it all got fucked up.
We’d been caught having sex in her school, across one of her teacher’s desks, on her last day. It had been funny at the time, but the aftermath was bad – her whole (very religious) family went crazy and her graduation was put on hold pending an investigation.
That was when she’d upped and bolted, not even waiting for the outcome, leaving me to pick up the pieces.
I didn’t blame her, but the truth was it hurt me when she left. One of the guys said I should get another girl to forget her, so I did; and then another and another. None of them could hold my attention for very long the way Laura did.
But now, with my old Laura standing in front of me, as if nothing had ever happened, I wondered if she would be willing to pick things up where we left off.
*****
Laura
“H… hi,” I stammered, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole. How was this fair? I hadn’t seen anyone from back home for years, and now I had to face the two most difficult people at the same time? My ex-boyfriend and my old best friend. “How are you both?”
Fenton’s ‘smoking hot’ line had me embarrassed, but the fact that he hadn’t changed since the old days was oddly reassuring too. That confident, cocky nature was what had attracted me to him in the first place, and there was something quite nice about the familiarity of it.
Alien Affair Page 90