by Alisha Basso
She couldn't keep the silly smile off her face for the rest of the afternoon.
***
Jessie hung up his phone, grinning like a clown on drugs. "Well, that went well."
His mom poked her head in his room. "Did you say something, honey?"
"No, I was talking to a friend on the phone."
She took one look at his face and smirked. "And to a girl from the looks of it."
"What?" Jessie glanced down at the closed phone in his hands then slipped it into his pocket.
"I said that you were obviously speaking with a girl. A special one, if that look is anything to go by?"
He looked down at the floor, and kicked out his foot aimlessly.
She laughed. "That's fine. I won't tease you about her – at least not too much."
Jessie rolled his eyes. "Oh great."
"I wanted to know if you're working tomorrow after school?"
"Uhmm. No, not until Wednesday."
"Good. Can I get you to stop by the accountant's and pick up some papers for me?"
"I can do that. Well, maybe. What time do I need to get them?"
"Before four. That's why I'm asking you. I can't get there in time. Although, I might be able to run over at lunchtime."
Jessie shook his head. The accountant's office wasn't far away from the sheriff's. He could go both places in decent time. "No, don't worry about it. It should be fine. Cassie won't mind stopping."
"Cassie?"
Jessie frowned at the sharp tone and narrowed his eyes. Now what was she all hot and bothered about? "Yeah, Cassie. What's the matter, Mom?"
"I don't know if I should mention this, but…" She straightened her shoulders. "I feel I should say something. I'm a little worried about you spending time with that girl."
Huh, oh. "That girl?"
"Todd's girlfriend. Cassie."
"What about her?" Jessie shifted to lean against his bedroom door. He would prefer to avoid this discussion, except he knew his mother too well. If she didn't say what was on her mind, she'd keep at it and at it.
"I just think you should avoid her, that's all."
"That's all? You need to elaborate, Mom. Why should I?"
"For one, she was Todd's girlfriend. You need to get your own. For another, I'm not sure if she didn't have a negative effect on Todd's character. All that drinking, skipping school and the carousing he did."
Only his mother could put skipping school in the middle of those offenses. "I think you misunderstand. Cassie and Todd were friends. Not boyfriend and girlfriend. Not lovers. They didn't drink together, nor did they carouse together, as you put it. They were friends – and only friends."
"I know you believe that."
"No, mom. I know that."
"What? You and she haven't…?" She stared at him in shock.
Jessie's eyes widened. "What? No. No. I…we… haven't. No!"
Her hand patted her chest in relief, her face turning bright red. "Oh, thank heavens. Well, that's good. Good." She looked everywhere but at him. "Okay. I won't mention that again."
She turned and hurried away.
***
"Cassie, I understand you talked to Dr. Sanchez the other day?"
Cassie's fork stopped in mid-air. She stared at what been a decent lasagna before her mother had opened her mouth. Slowly she put the bite in her mouth, refusing to look at either of the two adults staring covertly at her. She chewed, thinking about what to say. She swallowed finally, and nodded her head. "Yes, I did."
She almost laughed at the relief washing over both their faces. Determinedly, she forked in another bite and waited. Her mother had no patience.
"And?"
Cassie looked up innocently. "And what?"
"How did it go?" Her father jumped in, his voice brusque. "Did you talk to her?"
"Yes, she was just about to leave for the day." Cassie popped more lasagna into her mouth, watching them exchange looks. They couldn't just come out and ask. They always tiptoed around topics. She considered what she wanted to tell them. Not much, obviously, as she hadn't told them about stopping in there in the first place.
"Look. I stopped in. She was there, and so we talked for a few minutes. No big deal, okay?"
"Honey, we're just happy that you went at all."
Cassie rolled her eyes and kept eating.
"When are you going to see her next?"
Playing with her fork instead of eating, Cassie considered whether she'd rather get up and leave or eat a little more. If they kept up the questioning, she'd leave. "I don't know that I am."
Her father's fork dropped to the table as he glared at her over his empty plate. "Why not?"
"Tom," murmured Abby, giving him a warning look.
Cassie put her fork down. "Thanks for dinner, Mom." She got up, picked up her plate – still half-full – and headed into the kitchen.
"Remember, she said not to push."
Her mom's harsh whisper filtered through to the kitchen, loud and clear.
Tom's brusque voice followed. "What? Can't I even ask her anything anymore?"
"Not if it's going to upset her. We don't want to stop her from going."
Abby kept her voice quiet. Tom didn't care. "You're babying her. So what if her friend died? People die all the time. It's time she grew up and started being mature about all of this."
"Tom, that's not nice."
Cassie tuned out her parents' squabbling. Personally, she felt she'd grown up a lot lately. Too bad the adults around her hadn't.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Cassie found it hard to focus the next morning. There'd been another posting 'from Todd' on her Facebook page. Greetings from the world of the undead. And as much as she'd like to block the sender, it was Todd's original account and she couldn't quite bring herself to do that – because it was also so close to the truth of his predicament that it just added to her pain.
There were any number of people capable of finding out Todd's account name and password but the ones she'd considered wouldn't care to. That's what she didn't understand. Why bother? To upset her? It was succeeding. Yet that had more to do with the shock of seeing his name than anything else. If the person was out to cause mischief, it was pretty minor.
Jessie stood at the school gates, casually talking to a couple of his friends. Cassie's heart sped up. She hated blushing, but knew when he looked at her that her face was turning pink. She chastised herself for it. She'd seen him lots. Had been getting to know him for a while now. He was Todd's brother, for heaven's sake. What was wrong with her?
"It's different now," she whispered under her breath. "Everything's different."
"Not really."
Cassie spun to see Todd walking on her heels. Her face lit up, until she realized she was being watched. "You're getting me into so much trouble," she muttered under her breath.
"You're getting yourself in trouble." His grin was contagious.
Not this time. She glared at him. Realizing a stranger walking behind her was staring back at her, she flushed bright red. "Sorry," she muttered and stalked past the collection of curious onlookers.
"Cassie, wait up."
Cassie quickened her pace. She didn't know who'd called but she wanted to escape.
"Cassie?" Jessie loped beside her. "What's your hurry?"
Slowing down slightly, Cassie smiled. "Sorry, I thought I was late for class." She glanced around. There was no sign of Todd.
"No. It's still early yet. You've got at least five minutes."
She didn't know what to say. Five minutes in her world wasn't much, only guys seemed to view it as a long time. "I have to go to my locker yet. Are we still on for this afternoon?"
The dark depths of his eyes lit up. "Absolutely." The light dimmed as he added, "And I have to run by the accountant's and pick up some papers for my mom. The office is on the way."
"No problem." Cassie didn't mind. A little longer in his company was a good thing.
"Good."
; They stopped at her locker, looking at each other. He shifted awkwardly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Cassie unlocked her locker, opening it to pull out her English book. Reaching up one arm, Cassie tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear and blew out her breath. The school bell rang.
Cassie smiled, relieved. "Until later."
***
Adam reached for the bottle and raised it to his lips. He wanted a drink. He wanted it really badly. And it was there. In front of him.
Yet he couldn't seem to take a drink.
Guilt consumed him, didn't allow him to sleep, eat or, apparently, to drink anymore. Drinking had helped him to forget. He wanted forgetfulness. He needed it. It was the only way he could get through his day. Through the nightmare his life had become. It had been bad before. His life on a downward spiral after he'd hit that poor woman.
Guilt.
Guilt that he might have contributed to his son's death.
Guilt that he might have killed his boy outright.
Guilt that he might have snuffed out the only good thing in his life.
Tears started streaming down his face.
He wiped them away.
They wouldn't stop. He grabbed his sleeve and wiped, then wiped again. Tears continued to fall. Adam's heart broke, one teardrop at a time. Within minutes he cried in earnest and, like a baby, he curled up on his side and bawled. The tempest lasted hours. When it passed, he cuddled up into a ball and fell asleep.
***
Cassie couldn't wait for the last class of the morning to finally end. The whole day had appeared endless. Absolute torture. The teachers just wouldn't shut up. In contrast, lunch hour resembled a cyclone, whipping past her in a blur. Penny had asked about Jessie, unleashing giggles and girl talk – a welcome relief from the intense waiting sensation.
"So are you going to see him again?"
Cassie looked sideways at Penny. They both giggled.
"This afternoon."
"Ooooh." Penny leaned toward Cassie, peering around at the others. "Are you going on a date?"
Cassie smirked. Keeping her voice down, she replied, "No, we're just going to walk home together."
"Wow, does he live close to you?"
"Not really. About fifteen minutes away from Todd's place."
"How would Todd handle this?"
Cassie stopped, straightened up and stared at her best friend. How would Todd feel about this? She searched the room, afraid Todd was staring down at her in disgust. Thankfully, he wasn't there.
"I don't know. Todd and I were friends. We weren't boyfriend-girlfriend kind of friends. Everyone thought we were, only we weren't."
"I know you've said that in the past, but I did kinda wonder."
Cassie closed her eyes and shook her head. "No. Todd and I were close, really close. We loved each other, just not like that. That's why he had girlfriends. We used to talk about his relationships and why he chose those kinds of girls. We used to laugh about the guys I had crushes on. In fact, Todd used to make suggestions as to which guys were okay and which ones to avoid. You remember. I used to tell you about some of them?"
Penny sat up straight. "Yes, I do." She studied Cassie's smiling face. "Do you really think he'd be okay with you going out with his brother?"
"Well, I'm not going out with him exactly, just getting to know him better."
Penny giggled.
Cassie laughed. "Stop it. We're just, you know…friends."
That set Penny off giggling again, and Cassie had to admit it was pretty funny. In a party mood once again, the two girls headed back toward PE class, first up in the afternoon. Pushing through the crowd, the girls walked happily toward the gym.
Cassie gasped when she was suddenly slammed up against the lockers. A strong arm pressed against her neck; a knee, and hip pinned her to the metal.
Kendra.
"Leave her alone, you witch." Penny pulled on Kendra's arm as Cassie struggled to get loose, only Kendra was several years older, taller and heavier. Not to mention meaner.
"Lay off. Todd was mine, and Jessie will never be yours."
"What the…?"
"Did you hear me, you bitch?" Kendra snarled.
Cassie choked and coughed. Kendra eased the pressure against her throat.
"What is your problem, Kendra? You ruined your relationship with Todd, and you're dreaming if you think his brother will give you the time of day."
"Bitch. I didn't do anything wrong with Todd. I loved him. It's your fault our relationship didn't last. You put a wedge between us." Kendra's bitterness boiled over, releasing months of anger and pain.
Cassie stared at her in astonishment. "You're full of it. You slept with his friend. You slept with Levine." Cassie remembered Todd's reaction when Levine had confessed. Even though there'd been little in the way of love between Todd and Kendra, he'd been hurt by the betrayal. Cassie never understood if it was Levine's betrayal or Kendra's that had hurt Todd the most.
Kendra eased up more. "He wouldn't have told you that. He couldn't have. He loved me."
Cassie mocked her. "Loved you? Like hell. You cheated on him, betrayed him. You destroyed any feelings he had for you." She shrugged Kendra off, slipping out from under her arm. "How dare you say you loved him? You loved yourself. You used him." Cassie took several steps toward the gym, pulling Penny with her. "Now leave me alone. The next time you pull a stunt like that I'll report you."
"Go ahead. No one will believe you. They're already saying you're losing it. That Todd's death has affected you in the head."
Suddenly Cassie had had it. Tired of Kendra's crap. Tired of trying to figure out what had happened. Tired of trying to hold it all together. She just didn't care anymore. "What's the matter, Kendra, guilt eating away at you? Are you the one using Todd's Facebook account to send out emails? Wanting to keep Todd close, you hijacked his account. How pathetic is that? Todd never loved you. He screwed you – until you screwed him by cheating on him. Then he couldn't even be bothered to do that anymore."
Kendra's face bristled, her eyes darkening to black. "How dare you! Todd loved me. I made the memorial page to honor him, because he loved me. Me. Not you. He didn't give you his account information, did he? I didn't have to hijack anything. He gave me his password a long time ago."
"Right. Pillow talk? Did you pass that information on to Levine too? How about Isaac? Or Michael?"
Fury darkened Kendra's face.
"Wow, momma. You may have gone too far." Penny backed up, pulling Cassie's arm. "Come on. Let's get out of here."
Cassie stood her ground and faced Kendra down. Built like an exotic dancer with pink hair, Kendra was a mean enemy. If Cassie didn't finally beat Kendra at her own game, there'd be no end of this day-in and day-out bullying. "Do you really think everyone doesn't know, Kendra? You sleep with anyone for a drink. For a meal. For a laugh."
Tears sprang to Kendra's eyes. Though Cassie felt mean, she didn't dare back down. Kendra had to face reality. "You are no one to me, yet Todd was everything to both us. Too bad only one of us respected him and his love."
"That's not true," Kendra whispered heavily, her lithe body sagging against the lockers and slowly sliding down to the floor. Tears welling in the corner of her eyes. "I loved him."
"Yeah, you might have. At least loved him as you much as you know how. You had a chance at something wonderful. You blew it."
"I didn't know until it was too late." Kendra wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. "I'd never had a guy treat me right and so I never–"
"Treated them right." Cassie finished for her, staring down at the scuffed up hallway floor. "Well, you were gifted with someone who would have done well by you. Maybe you will learn from this."
"And Jessie?" Kendra asked bitterly.
"Forget Jessie. He won't touch Todd's leftovers."
Kendra snorted. Her voice cuttingly sarcastic as she snapped, "Yet you think he'll be willing to touch you."
Cassie stiffened. Penny's grip
on her arm tightened. "Why not," she said coolly. "I'm not one of Todd's leftovers, and Jessie already knows it." She'd have laughed at the look on Kendra's face any other time, but this conversation was too painful and too brutal for humor.
With a last commiserating smile in Kendra's direction, Cassie and Penny raced to class, leaving Kendra to nurse her wounds.
***
Jessie knew the rumors had been distorted but would be loosely based on fact. What he heard made him both wince and grin. That Todd's girlfriend should have played so fast and loose was comically sad, particularly considering Todd was dead. He personally didn't think his brother would have cared about Kendra's behavior. He'd probably thought it was funnier than hell. Taking what he wanted from the relationship and giving nothing back.
The part of the rumor involving him made for interesting pondering. Should he ask Cassie about it this afternoon or leave well enough alone?
Maybe she'd mention it herself.
Jessie waited at the front steps for Cassie to show up. He'd planned to go to the accountant's first. He glanced at his watch. She wasn't late yet. There were still a lot of teens milling around the area. Cassie should be along any minute.
"Waiting for your girlfriend, Jessie?" The laughter and jokes surrounded him. He took it all in stride, feeling a secret warmth at the concept. He wished. He could only hope that Cassie would want the position. He could certainly understand Todd's attraction.
At the reminder of his brother, his stomach cooled. A new worry crept in. Was he stealing Todd's girlfriend? Not really – after all, Todd was dead. He couldn't be here with her anymore.
Yet he felt like he was overstepping an invisible boundary.
"Well, brother. I don't know what to say. You're not here anymore. She's lonely, interested and, well, I'm here and you're not. I wouldn't be doing this if you were still alive."
Kids came through the doors and scrambled down the stairs for freedom. A weird feeling of being watched came over him. He spun around. He studied the faces of the few people standing around also waiting for friends or rides to appear. No one appeared to notice him.