by Alisha Basso
It had been like smelling food, his mouth watering for a taste of it, and not having teeth to chew it or a throat to swallow it. He’d yearned to play. It had become everything to him. So much that he’d willed his body to change.
A girl had been a part of it, too, but he had soon learned the music was more trustworthy. And even without her, he would have changed. He was the ultimate proof that mind over matter was true—a tale he could never share with the world.
And now to find out that, all this time, his mother had been watching him...
She looked him straight in the eyes. “I’ve been very proud of you.”
He nodded, though his throat clenched. Later, he would think about this. Later, Lila would no doubt ask about his feelings, and he would struggle to answer her. Feelings were difficult to describe, unless he thought in terms of songs of music. Like a Muddy Waters song, he could say, and she would understand that it had been rough.
“What caused your change?” he asked, not ready to share feelings with his mother.
“I didn’t know I could change my body until you did it.” Her gaze darted toward the kitchen then back to him.
Behind him, he heard Lila’s footsteps. Smelled her particular scent, sweet with a dark undertone that made him want to go to her and nuzzle her neck. He remained where he was and smelled the tea, too. Jasmine with green tea; one of his favorites.
She set mugs in front of him and his mother. If he’d brought in cups for tea, he would have gotten the gold-rimmed china cups with the red-and-gold dragons for his mother and himself. But they were on the top shelf, and Lila had grabbed the sturdy mugs that she preferred. She was practical that way and didn’t treasure items for their beauty like he did. Which was good, because there wasn’t much of beauty about him, though she disagreed, proving love was indeed blind.
He picked up his cup, grateful to have her. Grateful that she’d poured the tea for him, his mother and herself. And even more grateful that she shared his bed and every night she made sweet love to him.
“All this time, you knew where Noah was and you’d never spoken to him?” Lila sat down next to him. Her voice wasn’t accusatory, but he could feel animosity coming from her like quills thrown off a porcupine.
He put his hand on her thigh, letting her know that it was okay. Dragons were solitary creatures, and that’s the way they were supposed to be.
But he wasn’t solitary any longer. And the thought filled him with amazement.
“I’ve been tempted,” his mother said.
“Yet you resisted the temptation.”
“He had his life. I had mine.” She shook her head. “I know I sound unfeeling, especially to a...” She paused, but the silent word human hung in the air. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “I wasn’t sure he wanted me to speak to him. After all, he hadn’t spoken to me for many years, even before his big change.”
“You told me to leave.”
“That’s not correct. I said that if you couldn’t stop taking my treasures, you should go and collect your own.” She nodded, and he thought he saw sadness in her eyes. “And you did.”
His breath stopped. He felt for long seconds as if someone had punched him in his gut. He was aware of Lila looking at him and then his mother. Aware of his mother’s gaze on him and her pensive expression.
Lila touched his arm. “Noah?”
He shook his head, but he breathed. His mother was correct. All these years, he’d remembered what she’d said, but he’d misinterpreted her words.
He’d thought she had wanted him to go.
She must have thought he’d wanted to leave her.
“Are you okay?” Lila asked.
“Yes.” He struggled to hold back emotion. Usually that was something he was very good at.
So was his mother. Perhaps they were too good at it. And only being human for so many years had made him realize this.
Or maybe living with Lila—loving her and her loving him back—had opened him up to possibilities of more love.
“So, what’s your name?” Lila asked, turning her attention to his mother, giving him time to collect himself.
“Jin with a J,” his mother said.
He nodded. Jin with a J translated to gold in Chinese.
He remembered her golden scales. She’d been a glorious dragon.
He’d been glorious, too, mostly golden like her, but his blue-green eyes had been reflected in his tail and his wings.
For an instant, the image of his dragon self was so bright in his mind that it hurt his gut. He wished Lila could have seen him. He’d been magnificent in his fierce beauty and his flashing eyes. Humans with spears and arrows and swords had taken one look at him and had blanched and run.
She wouldn’t have run. Not his warrior woman. She would have thrown her head back and laughed gleefully.
And he would have fallen to his knees and laid his giant dragon head on her lap.
“After all these years of holding back, why are you here?” Lila asked, taking his attention back to his mother, though he’d much rather think of Lila with his head in her lap—dragon or man.
“I need help.”
“What help do you need?” he asked. Not judging this time. Waiting to be told before he reacted.
Raising her chin, she looked straight into his eyes, and her mouth opened... But no words came out. As if whatever she had to say was so hard that it had stolen her voice.
She put her hands over her belly.
A frown between her eyes, Lila leaned forward. “Are you pregnant?”
Chapter 6
Jin’s gaze snapped back to Noah, and he was staring at her with his mouth gaped open.
She fought down a desire to laugh, knowing it would be uncontrollably wild—and that would shock Noah further.
She might shock herself, too. This wasn’t how she acted. Certainly not when she’d been pregnant with Noah.
Maybe it was a human thing.
“Yes.” She gazed back at Lila, whose head tilted sympathetically. “Yes, I’m pregnant.”
Ignoring Noah’s statue-stiffness, Lila stood and went over to her. And as she took the few steps, Jin thought, Oh no, she’s going to hug me.
Humans hugged way too much, and more in this century than previously. But in all the times she’d secretly checked in on Noah, this was the first he was living with a woman.
Did Lila know the truth about him?
And about her?
These thoughts whipped through her head, one tripping over the other. Now Lila was two steps away, and Jin stood quickly. Standing, she had more control.
Lila reached out to hug her. Firm but not too firm.
For two seconds, Jin allowed the hug. She even put her hands on Lila’s back. Closing her eyes, she allowed herself to feel a sense of comfort.
Then she pulled away, her eyes open again. The two seconds had been enough.
“So,” Lila asked, her eyebrows up, “does the father know?”
“That we’re going to have a child?” She nodded. “Yes.”
“That’s nice, but that’s not what I meant.”
Jin’s heart fluttered. She couldn’t mean...
Shifting her gaze to Noah, Jin saw the almost-smile on his face.
“I think,” he said, pronouncing the syllables clearly in his deliberate, deep-sounding voice, “that Lila is asking if the baby’s father knows that you’re a dragon-woman.”
She slumped down on the chair, staring from one to another. Ending at her son. “You told her?”
He shared a look with the blonde hugger. “At the time, we didn’t have much of a choice, did we?”
“No choice at all.” Lila’s voice slid into a sensual croon, and the way she and Noah stared at each other, Jin was surprised she didn’t see steam rising from their heads—or lower parts of their anatomy.
Lila moved back to sit by Noah, and Noah raised his eyebrows. “Does the father know?”
“I own a winery in Northern California, a
nd Hamish is my winemaker.” She looked him straight in his eyes. “He’s also the finest man I know.”
“That means yes?” Noah asked.
She inclined her head, ignoring the clenching in her chest. She wasn’t good at talking about private things.
“He believes you?”
“Yes.” Her heart swelled. Hamish was a dreamer at heart, a believer in magic and in dragons ... and most of all, a believer in her.
She loved that about him, though he was the opposite of her. At her dragon heart, she was a pragmatist. One who happened to love a dreamer.
“I never expected this to happen,” she said.
“The pregnancy?” Lila asked.
She nodded, though she’d meant falling in love with Hamish. He was to her what the sun was to the flower. Or perhaps he was the bee to her flower, as he’d pollinated her.
She smiled at the thought, and Lila laughed softly. “You love him.”
The thought of him warmed her heart. “Perhaps.”
Noah looked at Lila with the same heat she felt for Hamish.
Jin felt happy for him. Because she knew how wonderful this felt. They weren’t alone. Not now.
She knew it wouldn’t last, but she wasn’t going to think about the near future. Right now, she was just going to think about today when, after so many centuries, she was pregnant again.
“He’ll be here in a few days. I had to leave the winery.” She shrugged. If not for the baby, they could have stayed for another ten years before leaving. In an earlier time, she would have had to leave sooner, because no one would understand that she hadn’t aged. But now, the women would ask the name of her plastic surgeon.
Damn Claude for driving her away. “There have been ... problems.”
“What kind?” Noah asked.
“A man who claims to be half dragon found me. He wants to marry me.”
“But doesn’t he know—” Lila waved her hand toward Jin’s belly.
“I certainly didn’t tell him.” Jin heard the sharpness in her voice and saw the narrowed glance that Noah gave her. She made herself smile at Lila. Made her muscles relax. She didn’t want to antagonize Noah; she’d seen humans show dislike for their children’s lovers, and it never turned out well. “Sorry, I’m just...”
“Pregnant,” Lila finished for her.
Jin bowed her head in agreement.
“And tired,” Lila added.
“I could sleep for a week,” Jin said.
“Then go to sleep.” Lila stood. “I’ll take you to the guest room. When you wake up, you can tell us more.”
Jin stayed where she was. “I’ll tell you more first.”
“I can see where you get that stubborn streak then,” Lila said to Noah. Plopping down next to him again, she looked at Jin. “Okay, now spill.”
* * *
Spill wasn’t quite the word Lila would use to describe Jin’s confidences. It was more like spitting the tale out, one small spit globule at a time.
The gist of it was that a wealthy, personable, handsome man who claimed to be a half dragon had recognized that she was a dragon—he’d told her that he’d smelled the dragon on her. Which was not the way to get the girl, in Lila’s opinion. Even if the girl was ... well, not exactly what she seemed.
But Jin didn’t mention her feelings. She was like Noah that way. Instead, she talked about her discomfort as she’d met this fellow at neighborhood events, and he’d come to their winery events and their Friday and Saturday tastings, making it hard to avoid him.
“And then I found out I was going to have a baby.” She spoke the words the way that Lila would say, And then I cut my toenails, or some other mundane thing.
“So you decided to leave,” Lila said.
Jin gave her a small smile. “Yes.”
“Mother,” Noah said, “I believe Lila thinks you left a few things out.”
“Like what?” A frown creased Jin’s forehead.
“Like why you didn’t just tell him to fuck off.”
She frowned harder. “He wasn’t doing anything that was really wrong, but he was always there. I’ve had obsessions. I know what they are, and I was his obsession. He thought he would wear me down.”
“Dragons don’t wear down,” Noah said.
“No, we don’t.” There was steel in Jin’s voice. “And when someone is this annoying, I wonder about his discretion.”
“I suppose you couldn’t go to the police,” Lila said. Had there been a break in the steel? Or had that been her imagination?
Both Noah and Jin gave her the are you crazy? look.
She shrugged one shoulder. She must have imagined the waver in Lila’s voice. “Forget I said that. So you just left.”
“The pregnancy was the decider.” Jin’s lips pressed together, and Lila could see the reluctance in her eyes before she continued. “I bought the winery more than eleven years ago. My neighbors must believe I’m over forty years. There would be too many questions. No one knows about Hamish, and it’s something I don’t wish to share. I’d have to lie to them.”
“Does that bother you?” Lila asked.
“Lying? Of course not.”
Noah laughed shortly, but neither Jin nor Lila did.
“I’m certain that Claude has people watching me,” Jin said, “but I snuck out with one of the workers. It won’t take Claude long to realize I’m gone, and while he chases after me, Hamish will leave in his pickup. He should be here in a few days.”
“You have it all figured out.” But Lila scratched her head and wondered...
Perhaps it was her own experiences with abusive men, but when you needed to sneak out of your home, something wasn’t right.
Jin put her hands over her belly again. And Lila didn’t need to read her mind to realize that the baby was the one thing that hadn’t been figured out ahead of time.
“I have one question,” Lila said. “Do you believe that this Claude is really half dragon?”
“I saw scales on his face.”
“Scales. Real ones?” Lila looked at Noah, who shrugged, his eyebrows raised. She turned back to Jin. “Huh. Talk about a major skin problem.”
“I don’t believe anyone but another dragon would notice. He just kind of sparkled.”
Lila nodded. She knew guys who sparkled, but they were usually on the boys’ team.
“Perhaps I shouldn’t have come here.” Jin glanced from Lila to Noah.
“Of course you should be here,” Lila said. “You’re Noah’s mother.”
Jin shifted her gaze back to Noah. “I might get you in trouble.”
He looked amused. “No one will give me trouble.”
“Nevertheless, I’ve left you alone all these years.” She stood in one graceful movement, and Lila saw that beneath her loose blouse was a baby bump. “I should have insisted on being a part of your life. Like so many human mothers do.”
“Whether their children want them in their lives or not,” he said.
Jin bowed her head, and Lila held back from hitting him. He didn’t mean to be disagreeable. She was the snarky one. He was just sharing an observation.
“Right now you’re happier than I’d ever imagined,” Jin said. “I don’t want to bring trouble to your life. I can manage on my own.”
“Maybe you can,” Lila said. “But you don’t need to.”
Jin raised her head, still standing, the image of a proud woman. “By human standards, I haven’t been much of a mother.”
“You kept track of him, didn’t you? You cared.”
“I realize now that I’ve been too...” Jin frowned. “Reticent. To answer your question, yes, I’ve always cared. I can’t change what happened in the past, but we can have a future.”
Lila couldn’t think of anything to say to that. Jin stepped toward the hall door.
After Jin left, he probably wouldn’t want to talk about it. Instead, he’d go through the rest of the day as if nothing had happened.
Lila held her breath. This wa
sn’t her choice. It was Noah’s. Would he say anything? After all, it wasn’t every day that he met his estranged mother and then lost her—all of it in a twenty-minute time span.
If he did, she would bet money that he would take out his tenor sax and play something sad. Blues music that would drip sorrow into her soul, a tear in every note.
Jin was five steps in when Lila jumped up to walk her to the door. Maybe she could get Jin’s cell phone number and email address. They should keep in touch. At the least, she could send a card and a present in Noah’s name, the baby’s big brother.
At the most, Noah would be in contact with his mother.
He would have a family.
“If you’re in trouble,” Noah said, and she heard the floor boards creak as he stood, “I want you to call me.”
“I don’t think so.” Jin reached the end of the Oriental rug, with its mellow gold and cream and touches of red. She turned slightly toward him. “I—” With a small scream, she bent forward, pressing her hands over her stomach.
“The baby?” Lila bent and curled her arm around Jin’s shoulder. “Are you okay? Should I call the hospital? An ambulance?”
“No.” She gasped. “I’ll be fine. I just— I think it’s coming too early. Oh no. Oh no.”
Noah took two long steps forward and scooped her up into his arms. “It’s either the guest bedroom”—his tone was firm—“or the hospital.”
She closed her eyes. “The bedroom. But I might bring trouble with me. I’m sure that—” She gasped once then twice while Noah headed into the hallway toward the bedroom.
Lila’s lips twisted. “You don’t know Noah very well if you think that trouble scares him.”
And as for herself... She and Noah had both been through trouble before, danger much worse than this, and they’d made it out alive. Whatever happened now, she was ready.
After all, it hadn’t been too long ago when she’d had dragon blood mingling with her blood.
Two years. It was probably gone by now.
In the hallway, taking his mother to the guest bedroom that no one used, Noah looked behind him, as if he’d sensed her sadness.
She hurried after him. It wasn’t as if she’d wanted his dragon blood. Circumstances had forced it, and she’d always known it would be temporary.