by L Neil
The hours pass by at an agonisingly slow rate and there is no chance of sleep.
Or at least that’s what I thought until Frank wakes me with a gentle hand upon my face. I can’t even remember dragging myself to the bed in the cabin.
Apparently, it’s 8am and here in New Orleans and it’s just a short ride to the hospital now.
On the way, Frank informs me that Manny has woken and to my relief, is expected to make a full recovery.
When we arrive and I open the door to Manny's suite, Dominic’s head snaps over to us instantly, eyes weary. Isabella is bundled up in his arms, her chubby face resting upon his shoulder and her wet, raspberry coloured lips pursed in a wondrous slumber.
Silvia is also asleep, curled up on a chair beside Manny. The man himself is awake and propped up on thick, white pillows. They’re holding hands and even in her sleep, she seems to be clutching him with a sense of urgency.
He looks to us in the doorway and tries to smile, but winces instead. His face is bruised and swollen and there is a bandage around the top of his head and another one across his nose.
As I stalk over to him, I quickly eye the rest of his body and it appears to be uninjured.
“You look like shit,” I casually whisper, although I really want to collapse and cry in relief.
When I sit in the chair on the opposite side of the bed to Silvia, he chuckles softly and says, “You too.”
Now that I’m here and he is cracking jokes, I exhale a breath that I feel I’ve been holding since Sorrento. I want him to joke more and I want him to be happy, but I need to know…
“What the fuck happened, Manny?”
With his free hand, he plucks at the hospital blanket as if it’s suddenly imperative that he cleans away the non-existent flint atop it.
“Manny?”
“I don’t know, Hel. I just…” he clears his throat as he must realise that his voice has become louder. No one wants to wake Silvia or Isabella.
“I was taking dad’s car to my shop to have it serviced and… when I approached the lights at the bottom of the hill and needed to stop…the brakes didn’t work.” He sighs. “I crashed into a parked car.”
If anyone knows cars, it’s Manny. So, when he says he “doesn’t know” why it happened it, I don’t believe him.
I hold his gaze, urging him to tell me the truth.
After a while, he exhales deeply. “The brakes failed.” He lowers his eyes and softly adds, “And then the airbags didn’t deploy.”
My breath leaves me at once. The idea that someone did this deliberately fills me with anger that is so unbearable.
But then I realise that this was done to Jimmy’s car, not my brother’s.
My first thought is too inconceivable, too horrid to think so I try to push it aside. But then, unable to help it, I peer at my husband by the doorway. His back is straight, and his lips are tight as he arrogantly stands his ground.
I look across the room at Dominic who studies Frank in quiet disbelief. It seems that he has come to the same conclusion as I have.
“What’s happening?” Manny asks, puzzled, eyes bouncing between us. “Am I missing something?”
Silvia stirs awake and appears as wrecked as I feel. The poor woman has been through so much. As much as Manny deserves to know who did this – and I am fairly certain I know who did – this is not the time nor place.
He rubs her face with his hand lovingly and the change in his composure makes it obvious that he doesn’t want to discuss this in front of her either.
From here, I can almost feel the tension leave Dominic’s huge body. He seems to have the same view as me and Manny.
I don’t look back to my husband, not yet. The anger is too hot, and I don’t trust it not to spill over and create a bigger mess than we’re already in.
Feeling queasy, I stand up and say, “We should leave, give you guys some space-
“No,” Manny interjects loudly, startling Silvia. He looks to her apologetically, “Sorry honey.”
A soft cry comes from Dominic's direction and my guilt deepens as Silvia pulls herself up from her creaking chair to grab the now awake Isabella from her grandfather’s arms.
Silvia isn’t oblivious to the mood in the room and says, “I will take Bella for a walk so you guys can talk for a bit.” She kisses Manny, who rubs his daughter’s puffy foot before they walk away.
Frank inclines his head to Silvia as he opens the door for her. Always the gentleman.
When it’s just the four of us remaining, I study my husband. He is aware that we suspect him – he should be grovelling or at least trying to deny his involvement. Instead, he holds his composure and his version of a blank face which is morose, conceited.
Manny clears his throat and I look to him, eyes wide and stinging. My throat is so dry, and swallowing doesn’t help me at all.
What do I say? Where do I begin?
But then Frank speaks, breaking through the quiet hum with his voice so deep and sure. “Emmanuel, I regret that this has happened to you. It was not my intention for anyone else to get hurt.”
The gears click in Manny’s mind and when he finally understands that Frank had ordered a hit on our father’s life, he looks up at me in horror and chokes, “Why? What did dad do?”
When it’s clear that I am having trouble responding, he begins to appeal to Dominic for answers. “Dominic-
“I have my reasons,” Frank cuts him off, sparing Dominic from having to work out what he can say in this situation.
The reason Frank was after Jimmy may be justifiable to Frank and maybe even to myself in some small way – but to Manny, it probably won’t be a good enough excuse. Still, I find myself wanting to give him an explanation as to why he is laying here broken and bruised.
The fact that Frank is willing to confess to this without even following it up with a reason just shows how connected he is. It must be nice to know that you can commit any crime and get away with it.
Like I can talk.
I know he’s keeping this to himself to spare me the pain of telling Manny about Jimmy’s betrayal but it’s not earning him any brownie points, I’m afraid.
The way he stands there so untouchable and stoic frightens me.
How will he take the news that I can’t be with him anymore? Because that’s what happens next, isn’t it? There’s no way he can get away with this. He hurt my baby brother.
The thought of leaving him is heartbreaking but the idea of staying with someone who is a danger to my family is inconceivable.
Just a plane ride ago, I was madly in love with the man. Now, I can’t stand the sight of him.
And maybe it’s because I know I’m going to leave him, but I pity him all of a sudden and I don’t want Manny to think that he’s a complete psycho...and that I’m an idiot for marrying him so hastily. So, I tell him, “We found Tommy.”
Frank’s jaw tenses and I can see the pain in his eyes for me. I can’t let my mind wonder what he’s thinking or feeling for me, so I look to Manny instead, who is suddenly sitting much higher in the bed.
I hear the door opening but before I can tell him that we’ll discuss it later, he breathes, “What?”
Pinning me with his fierce, bloodshot eyes, he seems ready to take on the enemy. It’s amazing how he suddenly forgets all about my husband trying to murder our father. He also seems to be forgetting that he is badly injured and cannot leave his bed.
“Where is he?” He demands, pulling the blanket off his body.
“Where is who?” A voice drawls from the doorway, stopping him in his tracks.
I had felt sick before, now I’m not too sure how I’m going to survive what comes next.
I don’t know why but it hadn’t occurred to me that my father would join us.
He’s holding a paper bag and a tray with three coffee cups and he looks the goddamn same as he did all those years ago. Except the hair – his thick, dark mane is now forty per cent grey.
I had expe
cted him to appear tired, aged and you know...full of regret or something. But he’s wearing black slacks, a thick, navy sweater crocheted in a diamond pattern and a white collar peeking out the top and he is fresh, energised. Although his smile falters a tad upon seeing me and Dominic, he pretends to be glad that I’m here.
He obviously didn’t notice my silently sneering husband on his way in. Frank had moved to the side to avoid being seen and his posture had transformed from tall and confident to stalking, predatory.
His eyes never leave the back of my father’s head, not even when I tell Manny, “We’ll talk about it later. We have to go.”
I have never seen my brother so torn before. He knows that Frank wants Jimmy dead so we can’t be in this room together. But above all, he wants to deal with the Tommy situation.
My father’s dark eyes slide back from me to Manny, “Son, Helena is probably a very busy woman now. Perhaps you can pick this up later.”
Of course, he doesn’t want me around. He has subtly treated me as a pariah since the night I was raped. If it were me in that bed, I doubt he would even be here. This is the first time I’ve seen him in seven years, and he is itching for me to leave.
“They found Tommy, dad,” Manny urgently tells him.
I meet my father’s eyes and inwardly scoff at his inability to hide the terror in them.
“That’s right,” Manny says, misreading the situation, “and I’m about to go and kill him.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Dominic grates, speaking for the first time since I arrived.
Although his arms are hanging by his sides and he does not appear in a violent mood, I know the man well enough to know that he is ready to hurt Jimmy, if I were to give the O.K.
Just a few days ago, I would never have thought that he would be one to defend my honour. It’s strange how so much can change in so little time.
The room is silent for so long that when Jimmy moves his hand, the sound of the paper bag is brash. He has been around men like Dominic long enough to know that he needs to be nervous.
Yet still, he hasn’t seen Frank lurking behind him, getting closer and closer. It’s funny how I had always thought my father was tall. As Frank draws nearer, I can see that he is a few inches taller than Jimmy. In fact, with Dominic towering over all of us, my father looks like quite a small man.
“So,” Jimmy addresses me with a fraction of scorn coating his words, “you got Tommy to speak?”
Everyone but Frank is watching me now. I guess this is the part where I reveal the truth to Manny.
Trying to hide my anger, my sorrow and my hurt, I reply as casually as I can. “Yes. And he had a lot to say...before I burned him alive.”
I hold his gaze, unwavering somehow. I can feel the wetness in my eyes, but I refuse to let the tears spill. That becomes especially hard when Manny asks, “What did he say?” To my relief, he has completely ignored the fact that I just confessed to murdering someone.
He appeals to Dominic and then back to me. “What’s going on?”
“We know.” The sound of Frank’s deep voice cuts through the room, scaring Jimmy almost enough to drop his tray of coffee.
Like the coward he is, Jimmy backs away from him but then hesitates when he realises that he’s drawing closer to Dominic in the process.
“Frank,” he mumbles, terrified.
“Helena?” Manny’s shrill plea gets almost everyone’s attention. Frank is still focussed on his target, who appears to be shitting his pants right this moment.
After I say, “Jimmy paid Tommy to date me,” Jimmy makes a move to leave.
With splayed fingers, Frank closes the door, preventing him from escaping.
Beneath arched eyebrows, a vulturous gleam shines in Frank's eyes and I know that I don’t have much time before this turns ugly.
Panicked, I implore, “Frank, let him go. Now. Please.”
Manny grabs my forearm and asks in a most seething tone, “What did you say?”
I know that I don’t need to repeat myself, that he just needs some time for it to sink in.
When it does, my anger towards Jimmy is renewed. My poor, sweet brother’s world is suddenly crashing down around him and it’s all his fault.
Worst of all, I don’t know how to make this situation better. All I can do is stand there and watch as Manny throws hard questions at him like, “Why would you do that?” “That’s why you didn’t want me looking for him?” “You were protecting that motherfucker?” and “How could you do that to her?”
Finally, he becomes exasperated at our father, who refuses to answer. Slouching against the pillows, he mumbles, “Get out. You’re dead to me.”
This finally gets a reaction from Jimmy. He places the coffee and bag on a nearby bench and rushes to the bedside, begging for Manny's forgiveness.
What about my forgiveness?
Frank is watching me closely and I can tell that he is thinking the same thing.
It’s obvious to me that he wants to come over and comfort me. A wave of despair washes over me as I think about how he won’t be there to make me feel better anymore and how, after this, I will be so alone again.
Manny’s voice breaks as he tells Jimmy, “Just leave, okay? Leave, or I’ll let them fucking hurt you.”
At that, Jimmy stumbles out of the room under Frank’s threatening gaze.
Manny apologises to me over and over, as if he had anything to apologise for, and I spend a considerable amount of time convincing him that I’m okay. So much so, that I do feel quite better, regardless of how fucked up this whole situation is.
I knew that I would have had to tell him one day. Now, it’s all out in the open.
Although I wish we could pick this up at a different time, Dominic explains to him how Jimmy helped Tommy run and about Officer Campbell’s involvement.
“Did you kill him too?” He asks me softly.
I hesitate for a moment before I decide to nod in response.
He says, “I heard dad...er, Jimmy, discussing it back when it happened. I got the impression that they knew who killed that cop.”
He looks to me now and asks quietly, “Are you okay?”
I nod again, “Yes. Really. They were bad people, Manny-
“I know,” he stops me. “Trust me, I’m glad they’re dead. And if you’re okay...I’m glad you got to be the one to do it.”
Wow. We really did have a rough childhood, didn’t we?
The room grows quiet again and we know that we need to address the elephant in the room. I really don’t want to, though. I just don’t have the energy. So, when Frank steps forward, about to speak, I tell him, “Please don’t.”
My heart breaks as I ask him to leave us be and that I will see him later, at his house.
To others he may appear unaffected, but I know different. Anguish fills his eyes and it takes the last bit of strength I have left not to give in, cross the room and hold him.
When he leaves, I lay my head on the bed beside my brother and we sit in silence.
He doesn’t seem to want to talk about it anymore either.
✽✽✽
It’s dark when she finally enters our room. The wait was torturous and very cruel of her. I was reluctant to even ask Dominic for updates, so I had no indication of how long she would stay at that hospital, if she was there the entire time, if she was safe...
Has she forgotten that there is a deranged serial killer out there?
Now, she begins to scurry around, collecting her clothes, her hairbrush, her perfume...
Each item she retrieves destroys me further. I cannot allow this to go on.
Busy as she is, she doesn’t hear when I open the balcony doors and enter the room. She is facing away from me, shoving her clothes hurriedly into a bag on the bed.
When I wrap my arms around her, to still her movements, she doesn’t scream, as I would expect from any other woman caught off guard in such a way.
Instead, a delicate gasp escapes her lips an
d she relaxes into me. I let myself believe that this is a good sign and bury my cheek into her hair.
Softly, I tell her, “I am so sorry baby. I am. I lied to you…I broke my promise…” Her soft panting drives me wild, but I need to focus. This is very important. “If I could undo this, I would.”
She hasn’t tried to free herself from my grasp – another good sign.
However, when I eventually feel that it is the right time to let go, she swiftly moves to the other side of the room, putting the bed between us.