“You, my dear Lilly, are for pleasure and enjoyment, not business.”
Perhaps she ought to have protested that description too. Any other time and she might have thought he was describing her no better than a whore but the softness to his tone and the way he held her belied those thoughts. Pride filled her that she could bring this man some enjoyment in life. He took little pleasure in anything else, yet he genuinely enjoyed her company. It was not much, but it was an achievement of sorts.
Evan swept feather light kisses up her cheek and to her lips. She near melted into him, her eyes fluttering closed. Then he kissed her closed eyes and the tip of her nose before holding her to him for several moments. He took an audible intake of breath and set her back.
“Right then, I shall speak with Mrs. Hargreaves and you content yourself with sketching.”
“And what shall you be doing in the meantime?”
“Must you know everything?”
“I must.”
His deep brown gaze searched hers for a moment before he took a step back. The distance between them sent a ribbon of iciness dancing over her.
“I am to clean my pistols,” he declared, his expression daring her to challenge him.
“Oh, and for what purpose? Are you planning to shoot someone?”
“Not at all. But an Englishman should never leave anything to chance.”
Lilly sank into her chair and picked up her sketchbook as he left. She turned to face the window but the green, lush hills held no appeal anymore. She had strong suspicions Evan intended to murder a man.
Chapter Twenty-One
It struck Evan as odd how his mood had changed now he had committed to his decision. He could give his time and energy more freely to Lilly now. Who knew what might happen once he had sought revenge on Eleanor’s husband, and he might never see Lilly again, so his resolution to make the most of her had lifted some weight from his shoulders. He didn’t fear his temper for once, for what a waste of time it would be to lose it.
Of course, he didn’t plan on getting hurt when calling the man out for a duel but the man had a reputation for being a good shot. He had to hope his own pistols were more accurate than the earl’s. But either way, Lilly would be angry with him. If he was dead, her anger would be wasted but if he survived, he doubted things would ever return to the way they were.
Evan snatched up the picnic basket Mrs. Hargreaves had prepared for them and shook his head. A picnic? He could hardly believe he was indulging in such frivolities, but Lilly made everything seem so tempting. He would miss her most heartily but he couldn’t rest until justice had been done and the law held very little sway with rich men. The incident would remain hushed up and Eleanor would never get justice.
Once justice was done, he would send Lilly on her way with plenty of compensation to ensure she could spend the rest of her days happily in the home her father had provided for her. There was no sense in prolonging their time together, not when she would view him differently and of course, there was still the matter of his temper. Under her scorn, who knew when it would flare? It was too great a risk to his mind.
She waited for him on the doorstep, a sweet figure in pale blue. The sun streamed in around her and enhanced her trim waist and elegant neck—a neck that turned his mouth dry with the need to kiss it. That neck never failed to thoroughly entice him. Whenever had he been so obsessed with such an obscure body part?
The hat she wore with some silly little blue flowers on it made him want to flick it from her head and thrust his fingers into her hair. How he had ever thought her hair plain, he did not know. In the sunlight, the pale brown shade glowed and the soft curls begged to be tugged and tousled.
Lilly turned and smiled at him. He stopped and nearly pressed a hand to his heart as he feared he might be having a heart attack. It crashed against his ribs and thankfully returned to normal. What in the devil was wrong with him?
“Are you ready?” he asked, coming to her side. Evan scowled at the strangled tone to his voice.
“I am. Where shall we go?”
“How about the stream? I haven’t returned there since you first arrived.”
“Yes, that sounds nice.”
She hooked her arm through his and they made across the worn track in the fields toward the stream. How things had changed since then. He was still eaten up with desire for her but all the tension had melted away. Even their arguments had changed. Their words were no longer spoken with bitterness but with teasing and passion. He had no doubt that if they continued their dalliance, they would also continue to fight, but their fights would always be resolved. Before, he could not have been so sure they would ever see eye to eye.
“Do you miss your mother’s house?” he asked suddenly, the question surprising even him.
“In a way, yes.”
“How in a way?”
“It was comforting, to be in that one place, I suppose. It’s all I have ever known and we were very isolated, you understand.”
Evan’s heart panged for the woman who had been hidden away. Such an intelligent, interesting creature being excluded from society was a great loss indeed. Not so much for Lilly but for society itself. Her views on emancipation for women might have taken her far had she had the opportunity to express them in public. There were many high ranking women determined to carve out a new future for the fairer sex and he could see Lilly Claremont leading the battle.
And he would welcome it. For women like his mother and Eleanor, he had to support such a move. Only a weak man feared equality.
“But you like it here?” he prompted.
She lifted her chin to view him. “I do. I miss Hampshire at times but I realize that I had spent too long in one place. I had dreams of going to London yet I don’t see how I could have done that when I missed home so much. Now I feel confident I can do it.”
Inwardly, Evan cursed himself. He had never thought much on how she must have felt to be suddenly uprooted and dragged to a place unknown with a practical stranger. So eaten up with desire was he, he had not considered the potential distress he caused. Really Lilly had managed to prove exactly how strong a woman she was. And now she spoke of going to London where society would never accept her.
“Why do you wish to go to London?”
Her cheeks reddened. “After our year together, and with my cousin’s debt written off, I shall be financially independent. I plan to offer my support to the women’s cause.”
Now a thread of guilt snaked its way into his gut. He had added to her isolation by bringing her here and not even considered taking her to London. Lilly would endure the gossip and ill behavior with stoicism yet he hadn’t been courageous enough to contemplate such a move. Perhaps if things were different, he would take her and help her with her ambitions. Perhaps he could even be her sponsor if he survived the duel. Evan warmed to the idea. Yes, that would make up for any disappointment at having to end their agreement surely? Lilly would no longer have to endure his company and she could fulfil her dreams.
“I think that’s a fine idea,” he murmured. He did not wish to say anything yet. He could not let her know of his plans.
He aided her down the bank of the stream, not far from where they had come those few weeks ago. Was it really so short a time ago? He had grown so used to her company, it felt longer. It would be strange indeed not to have her around anymore.
Placing the picnic basket down, he pulled out the blanket and settled it over a flat spot near the shade of the small line of trees. “Would not do for you to get burned,” he murmured as Lilly settled herself on the blanket.
She loosened her hat and set it aside while he dug around in the hamper and pulled out sandwiches and lemonade and sat beside her.
“You’re very quiet, Evan,” she observed while he poured the lemonade.
He arched a brow but said nothing.
“Yes, I know you’re not the most talkative of men, but you are exceptionally quiet. Does something bother you?”
The idea that he might confide in her niggled him. Would she understand why he must face the lord in a duel? Would she think him foolish for trying to go around the law and take Eleanor away from her husband? But, again, it was too risky. No one could know of his involvement in Eleanor’s plans. He only hoped Lord Ashby was too ashamed to share what he knew—if he knew of Evan’s involvement that was. If it was found out, the other lady he had helped could be in grave danger from her husband.
“You’re not the easiest of men to entertain, I shall give you that.” She tucked a smile behind the brim of her glass.
“Whatever do you mean? I merely meant I seldom take time away from responsibility but here it sounds as though you have me marked as a difficult man.”
She leaned into him, her arm brushing his and chuckled. The sound did something strange to his insides—knotted them tight and held him captive.
“Oh, Evan, you are the most difficult man I’ve ever met and also the most surprising.”
“Surprising? How so?”
Lilly peered up at him, her pale eyes arresting him. “Underneath that gruff, arrogant exterior you are a good, kind and patient man.”
Evan pondered this, trying to decide whether to take offence. Yes, he could be cold and distant—something many mistook for arrogance he supposed—but he had little time to pander to the needs of others. Damnation, he had responsibilities. He couldn’t waste time with soft notions. But she thought him patient? Had she not witnessed his awful temper? He shook his head.
“What? You don’t agree?”
“I agree with much of your assessment, Lilly, but I have little patience.”
“You’ve been patient with me. For example, on our first night together.”
Inwardly, he grimaced. He had tried his hardest to be a gentleman but he had been so lost in the feel of her, he’d not given her the time she needed. Somehow, he had made the experience uncomfortable for them both. Thank the Lord they had overcome it and proved his original assertions true—they were extremely good together in bed.
“I don’t think I showed enough patience. In fact, I have little patience when it comes to you.” He reached out and took a curl, wrapped it around his finger. With his gaze, he traced her pale pink lips and soft cheeks. “You steal all of it. I find myself impatient to be deep inside you for the better part of every day.”
Those pretty lips parted and over the babble of the stream and the birds chittering above, he heard her long intake of breath. Her tongue darted out to skim across her bottom lip and she laid down her glass.
“Do you… do you wish to be buried inside me now?”
He groaned at her words—at how innocent yet tempting they sounded. Her sweet little voice uttering words that made his pulse accelerate like a steam train, pounding through him with an inevitability he could not fight.
Yes, he wished to be buried inside her. Yes, he longed to make love to her until she screamed his name. No, he did not wish to end this… but he had no choice.
Instead of saying anything, he cupped her face and took her mouth in a firm kiss. She clung to his neck as he pressed her back against the blanket. The sound of her dress being crushed mirrored that of his control. She had taken a hammer to it and crumbled it. Driven by the knowledge he had such little time left with her, he pressed the kiss deeper and a rumbling noise escaped him when her tongue met his.
One hand still cupping her face, he fumbled at the front of her gown. “Bloody corset,” he grumbled when unable to slip her breasts from their confines. She laughed and he gave up, instead stealing a hand down under her skirts and in through the slit of her drawers.
Her voluminous skirts hindered his progress but nothing could come between him and his prize. Sweet, wet heat greeted his fingers and they both moaned. He stroked her deftly as he kissed her over and over, matching the movements of his fingers. It seemed to him he had only been touching her for a few moments—maybe it was longer—when she tensed against him, nails digging into his neck and arm while she shuddered through her pleasure.
Lilly’s breathy gasps made his body impossibly tight and he had no choice but to slide between her legs and free himself from his trousers. Thankfully her recent orgasm let him slip easily between the slit in her underwear and plunge straight into her.
His skull pounded as though someone was taking a hammer to it. The tightness and heat of her sent blood coursing through his veins. He clenched his jaw and took a moment to gather his breath. If he wasn’t careful, he would make a damned fool of himself.
She trembled around him when he began to move, her body spasming on the verge of another orgasm. Lilly had always been wonderfully responsive but never to the point of coming from a mere stroke. How much more would he have been able to learn of her body if he had the time?
Grasping his neck, she hooked her legs around his hips, burying him in swathes of blue fabric. The lifting of her hips brought him deeper and she whispered his name. Any remaining restraint snapped and he stuttered out her name in response before drawing back and slamming into her.
She took it all, responding with delightful sounds of pleasure as he pounded into her over and over. He uttered her name in time to his thrusts. Other words spilled from him—staccato compliments about her beauty, how hot and tight she was, how he could not get enough of her. He had no control over his tongue at all.
Lilly clenched her eyes shut and he drew back enough to see her lids fly open when the crest struck. He felt her strong, shuddering response and saw her lips part, her eyes widen. It was too much. Collapsing against her, his head buried in her neck, he took one final lunge and filled her. The hot, pulsing sensation continued on endlessly until he was breathless and shaking.
Her hands smoothed up and down his back and into his hair, as though comforting a child. He took in the feminine fragrance of her and swore to never forget the sensation of being so joined with her.
Evan made to withdraw but she clamped him to her with her arms. “Don’t go.”
Her words made him still. Did she mean something else? No, she could not. She knew nothing of his plans. “I’m squashing you.”
“Yes, but in a nice way.”
“I shall ruin your dress.”
“This from the man who once tore my dress practically in two?”
He resigned himself to lying there a few more minutes, feeling his resolve crumbling once more. But all he had to do was recall the fear in her eyes at his lost temper and it returned. Finally, he withdrew and rolled over to find a napkin. He handed it to her so she could clean herself up.
“I don’t suppose Mrs. Hargreaves thought we would be using those for such a purpose,” he commented.
“No, I don’t suppose she did,” Lilly said with a smile.
“Well, what Mrs. Hargreaves does not know will not hurt her.” He propped himself on an elbow and stared down at her flushed face. He didn’t mention that it was likely the house keeper would know full well what they had been doing when they returned with crumpled clothing and errant bits of grass covering them. Evan pulled one of the offending bits of foliage from Lilly’s hair.
With her curls loosened and her eyes shining bright from her orgasm, she had never looked so beautiful. Evan was not one for poetry but he felt the odd urge to spout something of beauty and radiance. He smirked at himself. Damn fool.
“What?”
Blast, the woman was too perceptive. “You’re beautiful, Lilly.”
Instead of denying it, she gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you.”
“You don’t wish to argue the case with me?” he asked, surprised.
“When I make love to you, I feel beautiful.”
Each sweet, agreeable word she uttered made his insides crumble just a little more. He almost longed to have a blazing argument with her to make leaving easier but he feared he would fall prey to her just as easily then too. Evan had to admit to enjoying
the way her eyes flashed when angry and how her voice trembled with her passion. Who could not find such fervor admirable? It seemed he found every facet to her fascinating. Frustrating indeed, when he needed to put her from his mind and accept he would have to let her go very soon.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lilly scribbled angrily across another failed sketch. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t make her hand do as she commanded. She scowled at her failed scenery and cast the pad aside with a huff.
She turned the chair from the beautiful panorama and slumped, arms folded across her chest. Her drawing from two days ago was ruined now, all because she couldn’t focus. Evan had only departed a couple of hours ago, shortly after breakfast, but her stomach churned with unease. This was not just her missing him, this was something else.
He had made love to her again several times during the night. There had been a desperation to it. The words he spoke… She shook her head. She had never heard him speak like that before. Frantic, harsh compliments. Talk of her beauty and how lost he was when he made love to her. It was so unlike the man she knew—the one who remained in control at all times.
Blowing out a breath, she stomped to the back of the house and through the kitchen. Mrs. Hargreaves let out a startled exclamation but Lilly ignored her and pressed past Anne to step into the store room. She eyed the gun cabinet and pulled it open. It only took her a few moments to find the box Evan had laid out on the kitchen table the other night. She lifted it down, heart sinking when she felt how light it was and carried it to the kitchen. Mimicking him that night, she placed it on the table and opened it.
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