“I hear you’ve changed your crop mixes, my lord?”
Patience felt Mathew’s eyes rest on her head briefly before he answered the question.
“Yes, to wheat and rye…”
The questions were varied and Mathew confidently answered each of them. She did not look at him, instead concentrating on scratching the back of the sow and watching Charlie with the piglets. Around her she felt the men’s concentration as they focused on his words and she had to grudgingly admit that he was very easy to listen to. His voice was as smooth as malt whisky.
She could see two big, black-leather-clad feet from the corner of her eye, toes and heels hanging over the sides of the railing. He was like a towering oak looming over her. Lifting her eyes, she saw muscled thighs encased in buff-colored breeches and the ends of his black coat, but refused to look higher. One glance at him had been enough to ensure Patience that his looks had not deteriorated overnight, so she kept her eyes averted. When she heard Mathew begin to conclude his talk, she quickly turned to Paul and indicated her intention to leave.
“Come, Charlie. We shall leave now.”
She would slip away before he finished. The men parted to allow her some room, and with relief Patience hurried through the warehouse, refusing to look back.
“Did you learn anything, Patience?”
Patience muffled a curse as Mathew drew alongside her as she neared the exit.
“Yes, thank you, my lord. It was very informative, and I am glad I stayed to listen.”
“Excellent. I am always happy when someone walks away having learned something. Now, I know we met when he was a babe, but will you introduce me to your brother?”
“Of course. Lord Belmont, my brother, Lord Charles Allender.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you, Lord Allender.” Mathew bowed, as did Charlie, then they shook hands. “I feel you should call me, Mathew, Lord Allender, as you did sit on my knee a time or two when you were a babe.”
“I—” Patience began.
“And I am Charles,” her brother said, interrupting her before she could stop the familiarity from blossoming.
“And will you return for the second part of my talk next week, Patience?” Mathew then said, turning his green eyes to her now.
“If time permits, then I would love to return. Thank you, my lord.” Not if she could help it, Patience thought. Spending too much time in his company was not good for her fragile defenses.
“It is unusual to find a woman who likes cows and pigs.”
“Patience spends all her days in the country, Mathew, striding about the land, tending to cows, pigs, and all the other animals.”
“Does she, now?” Mathew said, looking at her as he answered Charlie.
“You may not remember, but I have always liked animals, especially pigs,” Patience defended herself. “They are intelligent animals whose needs are simply met, unlike other, more self-indulgent species.”
“The self-indulgent species concerned being man, or, more importantly, me, as I understand it?”
“I was merely making a point, my lord. It was not directed at you.” Patience managed to keep her words light. She kept walking fast, dragging her brother with her.
“Does your sister always walk everywhere at such a rapid pace, Charles?”
Mathew kept pace with her easily, his longs legs out-striding hers.
“Yes,” Charles sighed. “It was harder to keep up with her when I was ten, but now that I’m eleven I can manage, as I am nearly as tall as her.”
“You are not,” Patience said, ruffling her brother’s hair just to prove she could easily reach it. She never missed the opportunity to tease her sibling when it presented itself.
“Am so.”
“Children, please,” Mathew said. “There is no need to argue.”
“We love to argue,” Charlie said. “But Patience would rather we call it debating.”
“If my memory serves me correctly, your sister loves to debate.”
“I don’t believe I was alone in that,” Patience muttered as they reached the carriage. She and Mathew had spent hours gnawing over things in their youth, arguing, debating, and rarely finding success.
“Good Lord, that is the ugliest pig I have ever seen!” Charlie pointed to the animal tethered a few feet away. “Come, Paul, we must inspect it.”
“We will leave soon, Charlie,” Patience said as he moved away.
“He has grown into a handsome young man, Patience,” Mathew said.
“Yes, he is the best of brothers.” As soon as she said the words, she remembered Anthony. “I’m sorry, my lord—”
“Patience, because I lost my brother does not mean you cannot talk about yours.”
He took her hands in his as he spoke, and she could feel their warmth even through her gloves. It seemed to grow and slowly filled her body.
“I need you to listen to me now, while I attempt to explain why I behaved as I did during your debut.”
“There is no need, Mathew.”
“There is every need.” He placed a finger on her lips as she started to open them. “I treated you as I did because every time I looked at you I was reminded of the happy times we had, and those included Anthony. With those memories came pain, and to my shame I pushed you aside rather than confront them. It was badly done of me, Patience.”
“I understand,” Patience said. “But there really is no need to discuss this. Let us only move forward now.”
“We cannot move forward with my behavior hanging over us.”
“Yes, we can.” Patience tried to pull her hands free. “It was seven years ago, and I have no wish to remember that time of my life. Therefore, I would ask you to respect those wishes. Please, Lord Belmont,” she added.
“Can you not call me Mathew?”
“It would not be right.”
“Why?”
Mathew let the silence hang in the air between them after she spoke. Looking down into her startling blue eyes, he wondered what she would do if he kissed her. He’d never before felt the urge to kiss Patience, but since seeing her at the ball he had thought of nothing else. Something about her had touched him, and as a woman had not done that for many years, he was intrigued to know why now, why her?
He looked to where Charles was standing with the large footman. Good; they were not close enough to hear what he and Charles’ sister were discussing.
“There is a great deal you need to forgive me for, Patience, and I hope that in time you will do so, as I would like us to be friends again.”
Her breathing quickened as he spoke. She pulled her hands free and reached for the door handle of the carriage, but Mathew beat her to it and placed his palm flat on the door’s surface. Their faces were now inches apart.
“Can we be friends again?”
“Much has changed, my lord, and my life is now complete.”
“Therefore you have no room for renewing old friendships?”
“I of course wish for us to converse upon occasion,” she said quickly. “But I fail to see how we can lay claim to friendship again, when we will see so little of each other.”
Lifting her chin, he forced her to look at him. His eyes raked her pretty face, searching for answers to the questions he had about her, but he could read nothing. Like him, it seemed she had learned to hide.
“Your friendship once meant a great deal to me, Patience, and while it is my sins that drove us apart, be warned that I will do what I can to see the bond is reformed.”
“If I invoke memories of your brother, why would you want that?”
He released her and rubbed his chest.
“Are you in pain?” She lifted a hand towards him, but Mathew shook his head.
“’Tis nothing.” He stepped back away from her as he tried to ease the burning.
She watched him intently, and then she turned away. “Charles, we are to leave!”
Mathew opened the door and took her elbow as she prepared to climb inside the ca
rriage. “I meant what I said, Patience.”
“No.” She shook her head. “It is better for us both if we do not reform our friendship, as neither of us wishes to endure any more pain.”
She climbed inside before he could question her further.
“Good day to you, Charles.” Mathew shook the boy’s hand once more, then stepped back as Charles climbed into the carriage. “It was a pleasure to meet you again.”
“And you, Mathew.”
He closed the door, then stood back as it rolled away.
Walking to where he’d left his horse, Mathew knew Patience was right: a friendship with her would cause him pain. It would bring back memories of his brother, and he had spent years keeping those locked deep inside him—but maybe it would be worth it.
He’d realized one thing today as he looked down at her from his place on the edge of the pen. There was something about Patience Allender that made his heart beat a little faster. He wanted to know what had changed in the girl he had once known, the girl who had laughed freely, and had given herself openly. He wanted to find out what had caused the shadows of worry he saw in her eyes, and once that was done, he wanted to get to know the woman she had become.
He had realized something else as well: that it wasn’t just friendship he felt towards her. Exactly what he felt, he was not quite sure, as it had been quite some time since he’d felt anything at all.
CHAPTER THREE
“Oh, dear,” Patience whispered as she read the note that had just been delivered.
“What?”
“What?”
Both Lucy and Charles looked at her. Lucy was reading a story for them, and foolishly, Patience had decided to open some of the letters that had been delivered that day. Most were for Lucy; however, this one had her name on the front.
“Nothing,” she said, closing the note. “Go on with your story, Lucy.”
“Why did you say, ‘Oh, dear’?” Charles was making his way to her side with a determined look on his face.
“It is not your business. Charles, please return to your seat.”
“No.”
He made a grab for it, but Patience was quicker, and got to her feet holding it aloft. “Not quite as tall as you boasted, are you, brother?”
“I, however, am taller than you.” Lucy had snuck up on her, and stole the note away.
“That could be private!”
“Is it?” Lucy looked at her before opening it.
“No.” Patience could never lie to her siblings.
“It is from Lady Belmont and Claire, inviting us to take tea at the Belmont town house tomorrow, and we are all to go.” Lucy frowned. “Why do you not wish to attend, Patience? They were once friends of ours.”
The siblings were seated in a small, cozy parlor in the Allender town house, spending the afternoon reading and talking, as they often did in the country. Tea things were scattered about the room, along with Charlie’s footwear, which he had removed earlier.
“I do wish to attend. I was very fond of the Belmont family. It is just that you have so many engagements, I wondered how we could fit this in also.”
Patience kept her face expressionless as Lucy studied her. Her reaction to the letter had been because of Mathew, not his mother and sister. She did not want to see him in such an intimate setting. Evenings were somewhat easier, as they were surrounded by people, but a family gathering would be harder.
“We have time to visit old friends, Patience, and I shall write to Lady Belmont at once to accept.”
“If you are sure.”
“Do you know, sister, I think it is Mathew that you are trying to avoid, but as yet I am not sure why.”
Her sister was far too astute, Patience thought. “I am not. I was merely thinking of you, as I have no wish for you to grow exhausted and ugly. Then my job of finding you a suitable husband will be harder.”
“Unlike you, I could never be ugly because I have excellent bone structure.”
“You’re both ugly,” Charles piped in.
“But, seriously, Patience, we will only go to the Belmonts’ if you wish it,” Lucy said, ignoring her brother.
“Of course I wish it. I long to see Claire.”
Lucy smiled, then settled down to reply to the note from Lady Belmont, and Patience sank into a chair and let her thoughts run wild.
Would Mathew be there? She had thought about him and what had happened after the animal husbandry talk. He had said he wanted friendship with her, but then when Anthony’s name was brought into the conversation he had seemed to change before her eyes. He had rubbed his chest, almost as if the memory of his brother caused him physical pain. How could he want friendship when being near her caused him discomfort? She certainly felt discomfort being near him, but hers was of a different kind.
The Belmont town house was in the smartest part of town, and had six white front steps that the Allender family climbed to reach the front door. Lucy and Charlie were excited, while Patience was looking forward to seeing Claire and Lady Belmont, and hoped Mathew was absent.
“Good afternoon. We are expected,” Patience said to the butler who opened the door.
“Of course, Miss Allender. Please allow me to take your things, and then I shall take you to the family.”
The house was large and grand, with a tiled entranceway leading to a circular stairway. The walls were cerulean blue, with delicate lemon-colored scrollwork around the edges and a large gilt mirror offering new arrivals a glimpse of themselves, to check that their appearance was as it should be.
After handing over their bonnets, the Allenders followed the butler to the stairs. Paintings of birds and scenery hung at eye level, and their steps were muffled by the soft blue-toned carpets as they climbed. On the second level they found lighter blue walls and several elegant-legged side tables filled with small plates and figurines.
“Their house in Hampshire had this many ornaments on display. Do you remember, Patience?”
“I do,” she replied to Lucy as they followed the butler down the hallway.
“Who is that?”
Patience followed Charles’ finger upwards to where the portrait of an austere-looking gentleman was gazing down at them.
“He was Lord Belmont, before the one you met the other day, Charles.”
“Mathew?” He looked at Patience and she nodded her reply, instead of saying what she instinctively wanted to: Please call him Lord Belmont.
They came to another room at the end of the hall. The butler opened the double doors, and they preceded him through.
“Patience!”
She just had time to brace herself as a very pregnant Lady Kelkirk hurried towards her. Throwing her arms wide, she embraced Patience.
“Lady Kelkirk.” Patience held her gently, feeling a rush of tenderness for the woman. Only a few years Patience’s junior, Claire had been so full of life, loud, funny, and loving. Patience had spent hours with Claire draped over her lap as she read her stories when she was a small child.
“Will you not call me Claire, or are you too angry with me to do so?”
Claire held Patience by the shoulders as she looked at her. Her brown eyes were clear, her skin soft and smooth, and she was still as beautiful as Patience remembered, even in the advanced stages of pregnancy—in fact, possibly more so. The woman positively glowed.
“Don’t be silly, Claire. There is nothing you need forgiveness for.”
“We did not acknowledge your parents’ deaths, and were not there to support you when you needed us, as you did for us after Anthony passed,” Claire said. “But that is about to change, as now our families are together once more.”
“It really is wonderful to see you,” Patience said, hugging her old friend again. She had not realized until now just how much she had missed her.
Claire took her hands as she looked from Patience to Lucy. “And you have both become so beautiful.”
“And pregnancy agrees with you, Claire. You are blooming.”
>
“Patience, my dear girl, can you forgive me?” Lady Belmont stepped forward as Claire released Patience, and once again she was clasped in a firm hug.
“Please, Lady Belmont, there is nothing to forgive. You were also grieving.” Patience inhaled the woman’s scent and remembered her mother. She felt the sting of tears as the warm arms held her closer. Her mother had hugged just like this, and she had not allowed herself to remember, but now it all came back to her in a wash of emotion.
“My dear, if only I could take a step backward in time, and not put your letter to one side, where I pushed it from my head. It was wrong of me, Patience, and my dear friend deserved more from me. She deserved that I mourn her and be there for her children when she could not. I fear my own grief robbed me of rational thought.”
“Please.” Patience fought back tears as she eased out of the woman’s arms. “There really is no need for you to feel that way. We were well supported,” she lied. “All that matters is that now we are here and I wish to catch up on all your news.”
A hand cupped her cheek softly as Lady Belmont looked at her. “You were always such a sweet-natured girl.”
“Charles,” Patience said, waving her brother close. “Come and greet Lady Belmont, please.”
Her brother and sister were hugged and kissed also, and as likenesses were drawn between Charles and his father, Patience felt herself relax. Mathew was not here, and she could spend time with these two wonderful women, whom she had once cared for very much.
“Come, everyone, sit and we shall take tea.” Lady Belmont urged everyone into seats, and then rang the bell.
Patience let the memories come and go as they discussed the past and the future in the sunny parlor. Around them sunlight dappled the silk-covered walls and bounced off polished furniture, and she felt at peace in the company of her old friends.
“And what of names, Claire? Have you settled on any?” Lucy asked.
“Anthony for a boy.”
“He was your brother, Claire, is that right?” Charlie asked.
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