She rushed over to squeeze my cheeks. “Aw I’m glad. I thought you were going to spend it alone in bed.”
“That’s a good second,” I laughed, hugging her back.
“My little girl, almost 18,” she said, kissing my head. “You’ll be in college before you know it.”
I hoped, at least. I’d written, and re-written my college essay several times already. The only people I’d shown it to were Kaleb and the cat, and he shoved his nose up to anything that wasn’t tuna.
Kaleb waited for me in the car. We enjoyed each other’s company, and nothing had happened since that kiss. He nudged the back of his hand against my arm. “They’ll tell me if I have enough credits to graduate next week,” he said. “Or GED city, here I come.”
“You can go to college with a GED,” I said, adjusting myself in the driver’s seat. “What do you want to do?”
“In life?” He took a sharp breath. “I haven’t given it much thought. Anything.”
“You’ve got the money from the bar,” I said.
He laughed. “The insurance paid out and my brothers have community service.”
“Dream big!”
Most of all, Kaleb wanted a normal life. A few weeks ago, my dad had taken him to where his dad once worked, although a lot had changed since then, and nobody really knew him from back then, but a few people did, those who hadn’t relocated or changed aircraft company.
Before I parked up in the school parking lot Kaleb kissed me. I moved my head away, cautious of anyone watching.
“Don’t,” I said. I didn’t want people to make this awkward. Although I’d made it awkward plenty of times, just from the signals I’d given him.
“I have something for your birthday,” he said.
Part of me wondered if he was working with my mom on a birthday party. It had been crappy since New Year’s Eve. I didn’t know how long it had been, before I knew it, it was time for finals.
I walked into the art studio. I’d completed most of my pieces already; they were painted now, waiting on their final touches. They were black and white, and the central piece of each was a blood red prom crown. It was a story of fiction, but all true to what was happening. In one image, it depicted a queen being dethroned, while the other showed the happiness of crowning.
“I never asked,” Mrs. Galloway said. “Is the character based on anyone?” She pressed her hands together. “It’s an interesting collection.”
I hummed, glancing at them together. “How long do I have to submit?”
“For consideration in the gallery, until the end of next week,” she said. “But if you don’t have it done by then, the school will show it.”
I hadn’t worked this hard to be with everyone else in the school. I smiled at her and continued to finalize the pieces. There were five easels lined up in the way they would if they were hung for a showing.
“Make sure to get your essay in as well,” she said. “Your final grade depends on it.”
I’d been writing my essay; I’d written most of it before painting. I knew what I was doing and the inspiration I was pulling from; it was a social study on the extremes we would go to become prom queen.
All the cheerleading girls had split. They still cheered, but Char and Ava sat with some of the younger girls. Libby and Hannah sat beside me at lunch. “Your mom invited me to your party,” Libby said. “I didn’t know you were having one.”
“She only asked today,” I said. “It’s a pool party.”
I saw the excitement on their faces.
Kaleb sat on his own at lunch. He wouldn’t sit beside me, he was scared of Ava and the scene she would make if she saw us together.
“Char’s really packing it away,” Mila laughed, taking a seat beside me. “Is it legal for her to cheer like that?” Hannah and Libby glared, although we were being civil, it didn’t stop us taking digs at each other.
I looked over to see Char resting her hands over the baby bump she was hiding behind a thick layer of hoodies. “How far is she?” I locked eyes with Dylan for a moment, his eyes bulging in apology, like he’d cry. I hated it. Heather, Brittany, Delilah, and Kirsten joined us at the table.
“The doctor said it’s growing fast,” Hannah said.
“Or it’s not Dylan’s,” Mila said.
My heart skipped a beat. “Hope her ankles swell.”
“Ugh,” Libby groaned. “Can we talk about someone else?”
“Zoey,” Brittany said. “It’s your birthday this weekend.”
I nodded. “You’re all invited. I have a pool and a barbeque,” I said. “It’s supposed to be warm out.”
“I thought it was a surprise,” Heather said. “I got your mom’s invite.”
Libby and Hannah were both unaware of what I’d set up with Mila. They knew I was planning on going for prom queen, even without a date. But I didn’t need one, I’d be the first girl who wins without her king.
“All the fun starts when you turn 18,” Kirsten said.
Turning 18 meant being an adult, although I’d only strayed from the plan I’d set myself. I was no longer on the cheer squad, I didn’t have a boyfriend, but I was on track to be prom queen. Plus, I had a car and my estimated grades were looking at a 3.5 GPA.
Saturday came, and I woke to Oreo clawing my arm. I was another year older now, but it felt like only yesterday I was in Dylan’s car talking about our futures together.
The smell of the birthday cake Yankee candle traveled into my room. My mom had a candle for every celebration, of course, my favorite was birthday cake, it was sweet like frosting, without the calories.
“Happy birthday!” I heard outside my bedroom.
I wrapped myself in my nightgown before opening the door. My mom held a tray with breakfast, and behind her my dad and younger sister, Maddie, grinned. I noticed Kaleb too at the side.
“Happy birthday!” they repeated.
“Sit back down,” my mom said, walking in with her tray. “We’ve got scrambled eggs and waffles, and I couldn’t choose, so you have orange juice and coffee.”
Back in bed, I let them spoil me with food. They told me to stay upstairs, although I heard them quietly at the stairs. I knew they were setting up for the party. I heard knocking at the door and familiar voices of my friends. My mom told me to shower and get dressed, giving me the bag of new clothes I’d bought last week.
“Go see what they’re doing, Oreo,” I said before I went for my shower.
It was noon when I was ready, waiting by the bedroom door. I took the time to go through pictures on my phone, texting to see if I could see what they were doing. They wouldn’t tell me. My mom came to join me, sitting beside me on my bed.
“My little baby girl,” she kissed my forehead. “I don’t want to see you grow up. You’ve always been my baby, and although today you’re an adult, I don’t want you get any big ideas.” She chuckled.
My dad strolled into my room, almost on cue. He presented me a blown up picture of me on my 6th birthday blowing out candles on a birthday cake. I had two front teeth missing and ice cream around my mouth. “There’s my little girl,” he said. He sat at the other side. “We’re proud of you.”
They were rarely sentimental, I felt their warmth inside, the pure love they gave. They hugged me together, I was the centerpiece to their family sandwich.
“All your friends are downstairs, they’re waiting for you, and there’s also quite the pile of presents,” she said.
I was excited to see what Kaleb had got me, he’d told me it was a secret.
The presents sat on the table outside. Everyone shouted “happy birthday” in my face. I was surprise as I clapped my hands together. They rushed over from where they stood. It wasn’t a large party of people, just those who hadn’t hurt me in the past few months.
Libby wrapped her arms around me first. “I have something to tell you later,” she pulled me close and whispered.
They watched me unwrap my gifts. I thanked everyone, squeezing them with hugs. My mom al
ready lit the barbeque when Kaleb came out with a large mint green box. There was a pastel pink bowl wrapped around it.
Everyone came to a halt. My parents stood beside him, presenting it to together.
“I bought this,” he said.
It was a flat box. Immediately, I recognized it was a dress box. “What is it?” I asked, impatient to see, trying not to get my hopes up. I didn’t want it not to be a dress now.
“Open it,” he said.
I placed the box on the table. I waited a moment, looking up at their faces. Almost like they knew, the anticipation was killing them. The ribbon slipped out as I pulled on a loose end. Inside was pink tissue paper, folded over a dress. I rubbed it between my fingers for a moment before pulling it away.
It was a coral dress. The fabric soft to touch. The chest area decorated with patterns and jewels. I brushed my hand across them. “It’s beautiful,” I said.
“It’s for prom,” Kaleb said.
“How’d you get my measurements?” I asked. The question was met with laughter. I must’ve been oblivious, but he obviously had help. “Mom?”
She nodded and held a hand up. “Guilty.”
“I had nothing to do with that,” my dad admitted. I wasn’t at all surprised.
They asked me to try it on, but I didn’t. I kept it in the box, of course, before holding it up against myself and moving around, careful not to ruin it.
Mila felt the fabric. “That’s good,” she said. “You’ll kill it on prom night.”
“Right,” Heather said. “Is this custom made?”
I turned to Kaleb. He shrugged. “It was tailored,” my mom jumped in. “To remove some of the height. It was long.”
I hoped it’d fit, with the amount of pigging out I’d been doing and I would do as I smelled the burgers on the barbeque. I had a good month to get back to my cheer weight, the way I was when I could fit into those cheer uniforms and show my stomach knowing I’d worked hard for it.
“Burgers!” my mom called out.
A full table had been set with condiments and plates. I packed my burgers with cheese and ketchup, stuffing my face as it dripped down my chin.
There was a knock at the front door. I heard it as I walked through the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Soda wasn’t a good choice to wash burgers down with. The knock came again.
Dylan stood at the door with a box in hand.
“I’m sorry,” he said, the first words from his lips.
“Sorry?”
“And happy birthday,” he said. “I have something to tell you.”
“Zo?” Libby called through. I turned. “I was going to tell you,” she said.
“Tell me?” I asked. “What?”
“Char was pregnant before she hooked up with Dylan,” Libby said.
“I didn’t know,” Dylan said.
“What?”
“I was going to tell you,” Libby said. “I didn’t want to ruin your birthday.”
“What a way to bring Char up,” I huffed, turning back to Dylan. “I suppose you’re here because you’re expecting to form some kind of relationship, or kiss me and tell me everything is good?” I laughed in his face. “You’re a joke.”
“Zo, I didn’t mean what I did.”
“I’m sorry, Zo,” Libby said. “I only found out today.”
I took a deep breath and pushed Dylan and his gift back. “Only she could make today about her,” I said. “I take it your engagement is off then?” I smiled at the thought, even though I saw the devastation in his eyes, he was probably stoned.
I closed the door and turned back to Libby.
“I was going to tell you,” she said.
I wiped my eyes, careful not to smudge my mascara. “No, I get it,” I said. “You didn’t want today to be about her.” I pulled her into a one-armed hug and squeezed her close. “Thank you.”
As Libby walked outside Kaleb walked in. Immediately, he gave me a hug.
“What’s up?” he said.
I grumbled. “Dylan.”
“I heard them talk about it outside,” he said. “You’re okay though?”
“Yeah,” I smiled, and hugged him back. “Thanks for the dress. It’s perfect.”
“What if people see?”
“Friends hug,” I said.
“Do they kiss?” he asked.
“Sometimes.” He kissed me on the lips. My face flushed, the thought anyone could walk in and see us. “A lot of sometimes,” I said.
We walked back out into the back yard. One after the other. A few of the girls were already in the pool. Kaleb began undressing, lifting his t-shirt over his head to show the line of his underwear. He noticed me looking and grinned, rubbing a hand down his torso.
I couldn’t control myself, my skin buzzed. I wanted to throw my entire body at him, but I stopped myself. We weren’t a couple, but as I watched, some of the other girls were looking at him as well. I wanted to be alone with him were nobody could see us.
My parents and Maddie had left for the supermarket to get supper and ingredients for more cake.
Kaleb was supposed to be cleaning up. I grabbed him by the collar and kissed him, pushing my face up to his. My teeth wanted to bite, hungry to be close to him. I’d never wanted anything like that before.
“Don’t stop,” I said as he kissed my neck.
He paused and starred into my eyes. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want,” he said. “I really think I’m—”
I pushed my fingers to his lips to stop him from speaking. I kissed him once again, my hands lifting his t-shirt to feel his body, lingering over the scar above his belly button. He tensed his muscles as I move my fingers over his stomach.
We moved to my room. I’d prepared everything for my first time with Dylan, it had been in place since August of last year when I believed I was ready. It was always different in theory than it was in practice; I didn’t get to light the candle I’d chosen.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Everything was different now. Smells were sweeter, the air was nicer, a touch was amplified by one-thousand fold, and the butterflies in my stomach were tiny jets exploding into fireworks. I smiled at everything and everyone.
Looking at my art project, everything was different, I’d been holding back, and now it was finally flooding out like a leaky faucet, I knew what it needed. The final details were added, and although I felt different now, looking back at the collection, I remembered what I’d felt. That’s what made a collection great.
“Mr. Brooks wants your work in the gallery,” Mrs. Galloway said as I stared at the final pieces. I held the essay tight in my grasp, ready to submit it. “Fingers crossed the gallery approve.”
“This is it,” I said, handing her the essay. “Also, can you look over my college essay? I had Mrs. Jennings look over it, but I’m not looking to be an English major.”
“So you’re going to do art?” she asked.
I nodded. “I’ve always wanted to,” I said. “Even when I was a cheerleader, I’m always here.”
“And from what I hear, you’re running for prom queen.”
I planned on doing it. Everyone had kept me involved with all their drama, their personal lives and scandals. The truth about Char’s baby not being Dylan’s was a shocker, and her credibility went downhill from there, yet she was hardly a pariah.
Kaleb kissed me for the first time in public. I was at my locker, for a moment I believed I was back in my old life, being pulled from behind and kissed on the neck, the little scratch of unshaven facial hair.
“So,” he said. “I don’t have enough credits to graduate. But I can go for my GED, and still graduate—I think.”
He pulled me into a hug as people watched.
“I have to ask you something,” I said. “Prom is a few weeks away, and I don’t know if you were going to ask but—”
“I was,” he smiled. “But if you wanna ask.”
“Oh no,” I laughed. “Go ahead.”
�
��Will you go to prom with me? And even if you luck out, you’ll be my prom queen.”
I bit my lip. I didn’t know whether I was dreaming, or if this was my new reality. “Yes,” I said. “But you’ve gotta promise me one thing.”
“Anything.”
“You’ll let me tell my mom,” I said, biting my bottom lip.
He laughed. “I asked them, before I asked you, before I even let myself have feelings. I told them it was real, at least for me.”
“Shut up.” People stopped in the hall, staring at me. “You didn’t.” Tears rolled down my cheeks.
He pulled me into his arms. “Why else do you think I bought your prom dress. I wouldn’t want anyone else taking you in it, but me.”
The butterflies and turbo jets in my stomach tingled as I surrendered in his arms. My body was tangled in him. I didn’t think I would’ve been happy after what Dylan had done. I’d spent so much time self-loathing and going through ice cream—my calcium intake was higher than ever.
“Does this make it official?” I cried laughing as I asked.
“Are you asking me out?” he said.
“Yes,” I said. “Yes, I am.”
Roaring cheers erupted in the hallway. It traveled through the school. Our names on the lips of others. He said yes, and they’re dating. Our names were spread faster than any viral picture.
Kaleb wasn’t perfect, but I didn’t need that, I didn’t want that. Dylan had been perfect, he couldn’t improve anymore, apparently, he was smooth sailing, and that was nice, there was no variety, and I found that was what I needed more than anything else in my life. I needed someone to help me bust the windows of someone’s car, or carry a spare change of clothes if we accidentally spilt lighter fluid all over what we were wearing. I needed that.
Ava stopped me as I walked into third period. Her arms folded, rolling her eyes. “I hope you’re happy,” she said.
“This was after you,” I said. “And I am, thank you.”
“Well you better watch your back, Zoey,” she said, moving to let me in.
We usually sat beside each other, although she moved to sit at an empty seat on the front row. Char was usually here as well, but she was missing most classes now, peeing constantly. She was occupied in study hall, receiving one-to-one tutoring.
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