by C. M. Owens
“What happens when I find Gavin?” Simone finally asks as I turn back around, moving on from the topic she never truly drops.
“Take Hank with you. He can follow him through the planes. You stay on Ella until she exits the forest.” I run a hand over the bit of facial scruff on my cheek as I add, “And if Gavin touches her even in the slightest—malicious or soft—I want you to rip his head from his shoulders and deliver it to my doorstep. Understood?”
Her back stiffens, and her eyes narrow a little too knowingly.
“She’s the reason you’ve resisted your females?”
My lips twitch. I wonder how Ella would react upon hearing such a claim as “my” females.
I really need to stop thinking about that damn girl.
“I’ve never owned a female, Simone. We all did what we had to in order to escape hell. Sex was a distraction. Not a claim. Please don’t tell me you really think otherwise.”
Her lips tighten, probably because she realizes how ridiculous she’s being, and she nods once.
“As for Ella, I have no affections for her. I simply like to piss her off as much as possible,” I lie. Well, partially lie. I do enjoy pissing her off.
“How do you propose I kill Gavin if it comes to that? He’s much stronger than I am. I’ll never get close enough.”
“I strongly suggest you launch a very well-calculated sneak attack,” I state dryly, turning and exiting this time. I call over my shoulder, “Good luck.”
Chapter 5
ELLA
Bitter. Acidic. I bet his blood tastes like both those things and not nearly as good as he smells when he’s pressed so close to me.
He really is a cunt pucker.
“Can you break the rules and whisk us off to Never Never Land?” Dice asks me in an annoyed tone before he curses a patch of thorns that tangle up in the crotch of his pants. “The thorns here are a little too randy for my liking.”
“You’re immortal,” I remind him, distracted as I trudge along. “The thorns can’t hurt you. And you’re an incubus, so you like things randy. I’m not sure what the problem is.”
Next time, I won’t shiver when Slade is toying with me. I’ll be completely unaffected. Yep.
And then I’ll mock him as cruelly as he mocked me.
“They may not can scratch me, but these pants have survived since the eighties, and they’re my favorite damn pair,” Dice harps.
Looking over my shoulder as he takes forever to untangle himself, I give him a pointed stare. That he doesn’t even see.
“You knew we were going through the Jaded Forest. Dematerializing will set off spelled traps, plus it’s easy to get lost in here because of more spells. This forest is a cluster fuck of crazy. The rest of the trip will be on foot so we don’t get stuck in here or in a trap and have to be rescued, because dematerializing in here is really risky. So why would you wear leather pants?”
He gives me an incredulous look. “Because my ass looks so damn good in leather,” he tells me seriously. “Hashtag—selfie with an inspirational quote kind of good.”
I blink at him before rolling my eyes and turning around, moving back through the forest and watching for the trees without moss. Because if the trees have moss, we’re going in the wrong direction.
Damn tricky woods.
If I have to be saved, they really will think I’m worthless.
For the fourth time since we entered these woods, a chill stirs like a warning breath on the back of my neck, sensing someone watching me. As all the times before, I jerk my head around, finding Dice right behind me. He has to stumble to avoid the collision.
“What?” he asks innocently as my gaze darts from place to place, not finding anything or anyone lurking around.
Slade is in my head. It always feels like he’s watching me. Now I know the bastard can see me when he closes his eyes. I really hope he hasn’t seen some things I do when I’m alone…
Blowing out a frustrated breath as heat rises to my cheeks, I start walking faster.
“Why am I getting a sexual vibe? That’s a little creepy, considering I fancy myself your uncle,” Dice drawls.
Bristling, I flip him off, which is always a terrible response.
“Sorry, dear. You’d be in love, and I’d be burning in hell,” he says on a truly weary sigh, as though he pities me.
“It wasn’t an offer,” I grumble, just as I always have to say when I flip him off.
It’s Dice. I should expect this by now.
“Could you possibly stop PMSing sometime soon? You’ve been terrible company,” he states flatly.
Groaning, I glance at the trees, pausing when I see moss on the path ahead. Shit.
My gaze darts around, and I change direction, searching for the non-moss path again.
How did I lose it?
“I get your pissed off at Zee and Chaz—”
“Don’t,” I caution. “And I’m not pissed at Zee.”
“You are, though you’d still have his back if he needed you. Understandable really. They’re both a couple of cunt puckers, if you ask me.”
Oh, just perfect. Apparently I used a Dice insult against Slade. He’s probably seen this and is now mocking me.
Or maybe he’s not watching at all, and I’m stupid for sort of hoping he’s unable to watch me.
I’m going insane. Just great.
“What are those weird sounds of frustration you’re making? And why am I seeing so much moss? How’d we get off the right path?” Dice carries on.
“You’re centuries older than me. Why am I the one leading us through this forest?” I gripe, finally finding the non-mossy path again.
“Contrary to popular belief, just because you’re older, it doesn’t mean you’ve taken a stroll through all the haunted, spelled, and creepy fucking forests before. And this thing is just a few months older than you. And you’ve come three times with your mother or father. And you’re royal and I’m not, so it’s your obligation. The list goes on, really.”
I keep walking, trying to tune him out as he gripes a little more.
“We have to be careful, or we’ll end up in Polly’s lair. I’d rather not have that unfortunate reunion. Like ever. Especially when I’m wearing my sexy pants,” he prattles on.
I’m going to regret asking this…
“Why would you wear your sexy pants to a haunted forest to visit two clans of agitated land disputers?”
“Because…I’m sexy and I know it,” he says, singing the last part before jumping in front of me, bending over, and shaking his ass very…disturbingly. “Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle!”
Again, with the singing.
“I have no clue what song that even is,” I retort dryly.
He gives me a look of utter horror, turning his head while keeping his ass bent over in front of me. Very weird display.
I pass him as he straightens and shakes his head in disappointment. “I’ve failed you.”
“Who’s Polly?” I ask him.
“An ex acquaintance who got a little miffed when I left her for a black widow. It was a dangerous phase for me. After the widow tried to kill me, however, I broke up with her too and moved on.”
“I seriously doubt that’s all of the story,” I mutter under my breath. “If Polly’s lair is out here, then why do you not know this forest? And who calls it a lair?”
“She calls it a lair, and I’ve never stepped foot in these woods. She moved here long after I shattered her heart and left her picking up the pieces. She begged me back; I, of course, didn’t have time for clingers. I was in my prime.” He preens.
“You’re immortal,” I say again. “You’re frozen in your prime.”
He scoffs. “Physically, yes. My appeal is unparalleled.” More preening. “But I meant it was my era. The girls loved a good bad boy, and there were far more posers for the ‘good’ team back then. It was before ‘bad’ got in style.” He sighs wistfully. “The good ol’ days.”
He claps his hands togeth
er once, then rubs them in glee as his smile grows and he keeps stride with me on the much easier trail.
“So, what’s with you and the scarred menace?” he asks randomly.
My spine stiffens, and I walk a little faster.
“I felt fireworks going off upstairs. I was sitting directly under your room when I heard him, and that sexual frustration…well, I feed on that sort of thing, so obviously I felt it.”
He’s practically giddy for gossip.
He’s a cunt pucker too.
You know what, never mind. He’s a total crusty cum nugget. There. Now I’m creative again. That one is my insult.
“What’s that frown for?” he asks me.
“Just realized how far I keep falling. Now I’m trying to figure out better insults than you.”
He snorts. “As if that could happen. I was the king of insults while the funniest parts of you were running down the crack of yo’ momma’s ass.”
My nose wrinkles as I come to a complete stop and just gawk at him.
He’s grinning. “Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory,” he goes on.
Rolling my eyes, I start following him as he takes over the lead.
“Feel free to laugh at any time and admit I’m still the king,” he proceeds to tell me, strutting a little now.
“Does your ass ever get jealous of the amount of shit that comes out of your mouth?” I volley, my lips twitching when he cuts his eyes back at me.
“I’ve come to consider your family tree to be a cactus. Full of a bunch of pricks.”
This time, I actually laugh, but it ends abruptly when I feel the chill on the back of my neck again. My eyes move quickly through the woods, finding nothing but eerie silence.
“So, tell the truth, are you taking the scarred eight ball in the center pocket or not?” Dice rambles. “Let’s face it; immortals need sex as much as we need to feed. And you’ve been drying out since that weasel. We’ve all had bad experiences—”
“I was tricked into bonding with him, and I went so crazy that I defended him from my family,” I remind him, bristling.
“Yes, but we still need sex. Maybe centering yourself sexually might help you get a grip on your magic. And you can’t ever be bonded like that again, because you’re not a mortal virgin anymore,” he goes on. “And I really want to know if one of those Geminis gets off if the other does too. And what happens when—”
“Dice?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut the hell up and see if you hear even a bird right now.”
I hear him go rigid, as the deafening silence continues to patter on around us. My eyes glance to the left, and I mutter a curse when I see moss all over the trees around us.
I spin in a circle, searching for even one tree without moss.
Nothing.
“Hate to say I told you so, but I really shouldn’t have been leading the way,” Dice deadpans, though he’s paled a little when I look back at him.
“No big deal. I’ll just use a spell to guide us back to the path,” I say, trying to solve this on my own without calling anyone.
“You can’t use a spell in a spelled forest. You could set off a trap,” he argues. “Just dematerialize us as far away as possible, and we’ll start all over. You can talk about your obsession with Slade after we’re out of here instead of distracting us this time.”
I turn a glare on him, but he stares at me like this really is all my fault. Why am I surprised?
I kneel down, pushing my hands against the ground.
“What’re you doing?” he hisses. “You could set of a trap! I just told you that!”
“I’d be ten times more likely to set off a trap and get us stuck in here if I dematerialized us. It’s not as easy to do from inside this forest,” I say absently, concentrating on the spell as I dig in deeper, trying to pull from the earth’s energy so I don’t have to use any actual power of my own. Easier to do with small spells than with offensive skills.
“If we get caught in a trap, we’ll never hear the end of it. They’ll think we’re the stooges. Or they’ll think we’re two bloody idiots,” he goes on. “They’ll never believe it was all your fault, with your incessant rambling, and you’ll take me down with you.”
Eyes still closed as I try to concentrate, I tell him, “When everyone thinks you’re an idiot, you shouldn’t open your mouth and prove them right.”
I hear his mouth open and close a couple of times, straining my concentration to block him out. Unsuccessfully, I might add.
“Now that was just offensive,” he quips. “And rude.”
My grin spreads, even as my eyes stay shut, but a loud, rapid series of pops crackle in sequence, sounding like someone just tossed a bag of popcorn into a campfire.
My eyes fly open just as my small light globe bounces up, leading us toward the path, but…
“Run!” Dice shouts, taking off in a blaze as he chases the globe and runs from the trees that are starting to stir wildly, the wind blowing now when it wasn’t before.
Thunder rattles overhead.
“I said run!” Dice shouts from ahead of me. “Nothing good ever follows thunder! I doubt it’s Drackus this time!”
A loud buzzing hits my ears as the leaves on the trees start to morph, slowly changing into large, green, beetle-like bugs. One launches onto me, and I try to flick it off, but the bastard bites really freaking hard.
Through my immortal skin.
And draws blood.
“That’s not good,” I say under my breath.
“Told you!” Dice yells, still chasing the globe.
My eyes widen as a veil of the beetles fly up together, almost as though they’re trying to make a grand entrance or scare the hell out of someone. When another stray bites me, causing me to wince and cry out from the surprisingly strong stab of pain this time, I turn and start running.
“Do not use your power! I don’t want to die today!” Dice yelps just as a streak of energy soars out of me and slashes—ineffectively—through the mass of beetles.
They part like a wave before moving back together, and I run a helluva lot harder, actually catching up with Dice and start to pass him.
“I changed my mind! Use your power! The one in back always dies!”
“You left me in the back!” I shout to him, looking over my shoulder as the beetles gain on us. I don’t even know where my guiding globe just went.
“I’m an incubus! You’re the deadliest immortal alive—aside from possibly the scarred menace! Who has the best survival odds right now?! Unless those beetles are randy little devils who I can leave hot and horny for each other, I’m pretty fucking doomed!”
I hesitate, but start running faster, as I ask, “Can you make them—”
“No!” he shouts like he’s annoyed I’d even be stupid enough to ask.
Never can tell with Dice.
A scream pierces the sky—Dice’s scream, not mine—and he dives just as another swarm of beetles attack us head on. I drop and slide as well, until I’m the one screaming as we careen down the side of a muddy, never-ending slant.
We were sure as hell in the forest and not on a mountainside, so obviously this is a damn spell.
The mountain turns into a cliff, and we’re launched off the side, both of us screaming like embarrassing fools—I’m so glad my father can’t see this.
Mid-air, I grab Dice’s ankle as rocky spikes come into view, glistening like they’re lined with toxins, and I dematerialize us.
The second our molecules spread, and I start to feel the grip of the next plane within reach, we’re suddenly slammed hard into something. It feels like there’s a forty-million-ton iron ship behind me.
Dazed, I stagger, looking around as the bars around me block me from going anywhere. Dice drops to the ground on the other side of the bars.
Cells? Are we in cells?
Still half dizzy and disoriented, I hear Dice groan as I look around, my vision trying to dim as I t
ake in the cave-like dwellings. The stone is carved out with little nooks for books, and dinnerware, and glasses. Little sparkly trinkets decorate the room, giving it a teenage girl vibe.
Other than the five random cages on this side of the cave, it looks like we’re in someone’s home. Underground. Which is really freaking creepy.
Roots are growing through the cave top, and little flames float and glow like they’re on the end of an invisible candle, illuminating everything around us.
I stumble to my knees, unable to stand any longer, and Dice curses as he uselessly yanks on the bars. Can’t he feel their power? Is it not draining him the way it is me?
“I hate to say I told you so,” he groans. “But…”
His words trail off into a distant echo as my gaze swims, I blink rapidly as a silhouette appears, my vision too blurry to make any more than that out. It sounds like two voices are yelling through fifteen walls—loud in volume.
That gnawing presence of being watched weighs on me as I slowly come back to my senses, the disorientation draining from me as abruptly as it began. And the grating voice of Dice’s yelled words finally becomes abundantly all too clear.
“She’s Alyssa’s fucking daughter! Do you have any idea how bad this would be for the lot of you?!”
My vision completely clears, and before me stands not one person, but three. Two women and one man.
I immediately reach for my phone, only to find it missing. How did it get lost? They haven’t searched me or confiscated it.
“The queen’s daughter?” the man asks, his eyes brightening as they settle on me with far too much intrigue.
Dice, you stupid idiot!
Dice immediately makes a sound that pretty much echoes that sentiment.
“Please tell me one of these women isn’t Polly,” I say quietly to Dice.
The guy watching me removes his arm from one of the women, using his free hand to stroke his jaw thoughtfully as his eyes flake with familiar colors.
Another incubus.
“At this moment,” Dice grinds out, “I wish it was Polly.”
Then this really can’t be good.