“I guess I also have that side; the rebellious and defiant part of me that wants to tell the world to screw itself and just let me do what I want for a change. I get tired of being told what to do. It’s been that way my whole life and I’ve always done what was expected of me. I just didn’t think it would be quite so… ugly.”
“But perhaps that is the character that caused you to excel in your career. You look at death straight in the eye and tell it that yes, it will win, but that it will play the game by your terms. You looked at me and did the same thing. I believed you called me Lurch. I knew I would love you that very moment.”
Courtney smiled, leaning against the rock wall and looking over the vast mountain range. “Maybe you’re right. It’s just a part of myself I’ve never really had a chance to know. It seems like so long ago, doesn’t it? Marcas? What are we going to do? What if what I did doesn’t break the curse and we both end up split in half?”
“Then we live as two by day and four by night. Although, I don’t know how I will survive two nagging wives,” Marcas teased, pulling her to her feet. He tightened a climbing harness around her and hooked it to the thick ropes that were bolted into the rocky slopes.
“Simple. You’ll love both of me.” Courtney hugged him to her, trying not to show her terror as they began climbing up the narrow, slippery path.
“Even simpler. I’ll spank both of you. Hmmm, having two beautiful bottoms at my disposal might be rather interesting.” He laughed, reaching for her hand and helping her up behind him.
“Get your mind off that subject. Do you think that if I let that part of me die that it will change me that much?”
“We are not going to take that chance, my love. Please, don’t worry. Let’s just focus on the trip right now, and getting to the top of this mountain. How are you doing?”
Courtney sensed his desire to change the subject. “I’m hungry. I wasn’t thinking about my sugars when we left. Damn…”
“Still swearing? I’ll have to break you of that habit. Sebastian said the God will provide, so let’s trust in that.”
“I’ve never been much of a believer in God. Not when I’ve seen so much suffering in this world. I’m sorry. I know faith is important to you,” Courtney confessed softly.
Marcas squeezed her hand before kissing the back of it. “Didn’t I tell you once that I have enough faith to carry the two of us? And lo and behold, lunch. Buckthorn berries. A little tart and oily, but healthy. They should help get your levels up a bit.”
“Are you sure?” Courtney asked, hesitating before popping the orange fruit into her mouth and making a sour face and mouthing the word ‘nasty.’ But Marcas was correct. The berries sustained her until they reached a tiny meadow with an icy cold stream that threaded playfully over rocks and splashed over the mountain edge. They filled their canteens and munched on wild flowers filled with sweet nectar and plump mushrooms, enjoying the sound of pure nature around them. Marcas taught Courtney how to pick out the mountain edibles and told stories about the many times his father and uncles dragged him with them to go camping.
“When we met, I would never have figured you to be such an outdoorsman.” Courtney giggled, tossing pebbles at him as they say in the tall, fragrant grasses. “You surprise me with how comfortable you are with the whole thing. Hiking, mountain climbing, eating deadly mushrooms…”
“The worse any mushrooms here would do is make you very happy for a while,” Marcas snickered, seeing her eyes widen. “Relax. These are safe. You know I would not put you into danger.”
Courtney grunted and kicked him on the foot. Raising an eyebrow, he grabbed her ankle and dragged her to him, conveniently landing her over his lap.
“I think we should do this every time we stop, da?”
“Nu! Ow! Maarcaaaaassss!” Courtney squeaked as he started spanking her jean-covered backside. He laughed, enjoying her squirming under his hand and the feel of her bottom through the material. She started laughing, realizing by the growing bulge against her tummy that the spanking was succeeding in making him much more uncomfortable than she was.
“Really? Do you think being spanked is funny?” he asked, his thick accent making her break into a gale of laughter.
“Rrrrreally, I tink it verrrrrrry funny,” she mimicked back, yipping as his smacks increased in intensity.
“Not so funny now, no?”
“Ow, ow, ow, Owwwww…” Courtney said, still laughing and fighting to catch her breath. ”Ok, enough. Marcas! That’s enough!”
“No, my pet. It is enough when the Baron Kalnovky says it is enough. And since I am the baron…” He reached around to unbutton her jeans. Courtney protested loudly, trying to hold her pants up as he tugged them away from her shapely rear end.
“What does this say? Naughty? When did you buy these?” Marcas’ chortle echoed through the mountain tops.
“I didn’t buy them.” Courtney pouted, elbows on the ground as Marcas studied her panties and the delicious mounds beneath the flimsy fabric. “Solphia did.”
“MY Solphia?”
“That woman even packed a homemade recipe for an aphrodisiac. It smells like shit.”
“I hope you did not try it. The odor might very well give away the ingredients.” Marcas laughed, running his hand over the half-moons encased in tiny bright yellow panties that were trimmed in black.
She twisted to look at him seductively. “Do you honestly think that I need anything more than just looking at you to get me in the mood? Hey! What are you doing?”
Marcas sighed, smacking her once and then pulling her jeans back over her warm bottom. “I promised the Brothers to keep our journey chaste. I, uh… I promised that we would not have one another until we were made man and wife.”
“You what?!” Courtney buttoned her jeans and looking chagrinned. “Mr. Horn Dog is going to keep his little buddy to himself for a month?”
“Two weeks, Courtney. The next moon is in two weeks. And my buddy is not little,” Marcas puffed, his tender ego bruised.
“Compared to the other one…” Courtney said slyly.
“They are identical. Do you enjoy having two at once?”
Courtney blushed. “Of course I do. It’s every woman’s biggest fantasy. And since you two are really the same person… What are your fantasies, Marcas?”
He smiled, shrugging as he chewed on a grass stalk. “I have lived nearly every fantasy but one.”
“What? Can I do it?” Courtney asked eagerly. Marcas whispered it in her ear and watched as she colored all the way down to her toes. He laughed, knowing he had given her something to think about.
They reached the first cave about an hour before sunset. Courtney was excited to see that it was well stocked with food, water, wood, and the necessities to survive the unpredictable mountain weather. As the cold, wet wind started to blow sharply outside and through the wide mouthed valley, the two sat upon sleeping bags as they warmed themselves before a sputtering fire. Silently, they waited for the rending.
“I know I asked before, but does it hurt?” Courtney questioned as he blurred before her eyes and solidified into two individuals.
He caught his breath, looking at the other half, who shook his head. “Not any longer. In the beginning, death was a better option. It was like…”
“What it would feel like to lose you, my sweet one,” the other answered. “A terrible void left here.” He touched his chest. “The thought of that leaves me unable to breathe.”
“You’re not going to lose me, Marcas. I love you more than life itself. I don’t care if you are melded or split, you are my dream and my hope.” She gasped as the two blurred together to one, her hands over her mouth. Marcas held his hands over his eyes, shaking away the dizziness. She grabbed his wrists. “What’s happening? Marcas!”
“Shh, it is fine. It’s your unconditional love, precious Courtney. It allows me to love myself for a moment without question. It does not… last.”
“Unconditional love lasts
forever,” Courtney whispered, touching his knee as he once again divided. “I will always love you, no matter how many times you fall apart at the seams.”
“Or how many times we spank you for something?” He smiled wearily.
Courtney grunted. “Now, that is something we need to discuss. Play is one thing, but you really need to ease up on that hand.”
“Never. It is part of who I am.”
“Which one are you? I want the other one,” Courtney sulked.
“In truth,” they looked at one another, “we have difficulty remembering now. We have found many similarities in our ways. Because of our love for you, we are finding peace within ourselves that makes this rending little more than an inconvenience.”
“The monks said you could go insane if a side isn’t chosen or if I can’t break this curse. I refuse to choose.”
Marcas was silent, watching the flames. He glanced at his counterpart, meeting his eye. Gregor had told him that a life sacrifice was required to break the curse, and he struggled with the words. The other nodded to him, standing.
“I need to go outside and think for a while. Watch over her.”
“Oh no you don’t. If you fall off the cliff, I will never forgive you.” Courtney blocked his path.
“I wouldn’t forgive myself either.” Marcas laughed, kissing her forehead. “Please, let me have some time alone.”
She stepped aside, watching him duck out of the mouth of the small cave and disappear into the darkness. The other reached for her hand, pulling her down next to him. “Don’t worry, my love. I promise we will be alright. When we get higher, I will show you the wonders of these mountains and how they can help clear a troubled mind.”
“Hold me, Marcas. And don’t let go. I don’t know what to do anymore.” She sounded like a frightened little girl in his arms, and curled against him as he leaned back against the cold, rock wall. He kissed the top of her head and pressed her face into his chest so that she could hear the thunder of his heart. She snuggled into him, listening to the tell-tale sound of life as it thumped rhythmically and calmed her fear.
“All these years,” she whispered, “I’ve listened to hearts for them to tell me a story of when life is going to end. I can’t remember the last time I listened to one that was strong and healthy, or how beautiful the sound was.” She closed her eyes, listening to the beating in his chest as the wind outside whistled through the cave.
They sat together listening to the sound of the fire and the wind. Marcas grew heavy against Courtney’s shoulder and his deep, even breathing told her that he had met with a peaceful slumber. She slid out from under his arm and stretched him along the sleeping bag, covering him lovingly. Satisfied with his comfort, she tip-toed outside and was slapped in the face with an icy slice of wind. She hooked her harness to the guide ropes and looked around.
The outline of Marcas’ back caused her to hesitate before approaching him. He sat on the cliff’s edge, feet dangling over the side and looking down several thousand feet into the black yaw below. Relief struck her when she saw he had attached his harness to an extension off the guide ropes. She double checked the harness closure, clung to the extension and made her way to him, wordlessly slipping a blanket over his shoulders before sitting behind him.
“You’re cold. Come inside,” she yelled in his ear. “It’s freezing out here.”
“I’m just clearing my head. Sit here next to me. Don’t be afraid, I won’t let you fall.”
“I’m not too keen on heights,” Courtney admitted. He patted the ground next to her and held her hand as she timidly scooted closer to the edge. “This is too much for me. It’s making me dizzy. I’m sorry, but I’m too scared.”
“That’s the change, my precious. Just breathe through it. Close your eyes and trust. I will not allow anything to happen,” he said gently, wrapping the blanket around her shoulders and smiling as she scooted back from the edge. Together they listened to the mourning howl of the wind as it was trapped in the bowl of the mountain range, making Courtney shiver with understanding as to why the Carpathian Mountain Range triggered the imaginings of horror. She jumped as a large bat flew by, hunting for food. Marcas squeezed her lovingly, pushing back away from the ledge and pulling her with him.
“Let’s go inside before you turn to ice. Courtney? I’m sorry I didn’t hug you after I spanked you last week. I was angry—you and myself.”
“It wasn’t you that didn’t hug me, it was your other side. And I forgave him,” Courtney said, allowing him to gather her in his arms.
“No, it was me. This side of me tends to be more unemotional and more judicial and practical. That part you call the ‘mean’ side is actually more playful and less preoccupied with being responsible. Yes, it tends to be more sadistic, but also less rigid. You should select that side to live. It will make you happier than I would.”
Courtney shook her head. “But it’s the strong, practical side that makes you such a wonderful nurturer, a romantic, and a good listener. It also keeps you focused on the important things in life, other than self-pleasure. If I only have that other side, it would be like living with Peter Pan. I want to have a man in my life, not a little boy who has tantrums when he does not get his way.”
“You need not make a choice right now, my love.”
“I am making a choice: both of you. When my splitting happens, it will make everything right.”
“You poor, naïve girl. You really don’t know what awaits you?” he spoke, twirling a lock of her hair in his finger before cupping her chin in his large hands. “I will help you through it. I wish you had not done this to yourself. It pains me to think of the suffering you will experience because of me.”
“You talk about faith. Show some faith in the love I have for you, ok?”
Chapter Seventeen
“Are we there yet?” Courtney groaned, collapsing in the sixth cave they had encountered. “I swear it feels like we’ve been climbing for hours.”
Marcas nodded, sitting beside her and pushing off his pack. “It is still early morning. I guess we are supposed to just rest here and begin again tomorrow.”
“We could just try to push forward, you know. Maybe hit the next cave before sunset.”
“No, dear one. We were told to stay at each shelter when we found them. The next one may take all day to reach. Let’s make a fire and heat some water.”
“Melt some ice, you mean.” Courtney chuckled, showing him the solid chunk in the pot. “We’re getting pretty good at this mountain climbing camping thing, aren’t we? And I haven’t thrown you off a cliff yet, so I guess that’s a good thing.”
“Hmmm, perhaps. Stay here,” Marcas said, sticking his head outside the cave and glancing around the mouth and the guide rope arrangement. With a smile, he returned. “I have a challenge for you later. A test of bravery.”
“Bravery? Who said I’m brave? I’m really a giant chicken at heart,” Courtney insisted fanning the flames and adding twigs. “What do you have in mind?”
“You will see.”
Courtney eyed him suspiciously, knowing that his ‘hard’ side was up to some prank and that the other side really wasn’t doing anything to stop him. She had a strong notion that she would not enjoy whatever he had planned. After taking a nap in one another’s arms and enjoying a hot meal of soup, cheese softened over the open fire, and crackers, Marcas made the announcement.
“I’m going to teach you how to fly, little Courtney.”
“Pardon me? Have you been eating funny mushrooms?” Courtney asked, rubbing her eyes. “I was so cozy. Why did you wake me?”
“I said I would teach you to fly. Put your harness on.”
“Marcas, I don’t think I like the sound of this,” Courtney hesitated.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes, but… oh, alright. I’m not doing any bungee jumping.”
“No, none of that. This part of the mountain acts like a giant funnel,” he pointed to the deep valley below. �
�Do you see how that rock is shaped? Like it’s been smoothed away? It is from the winds that push up from below. “
“Ok, but you aren’t bringing me over here for a geology lesson. What the hell are you doing?!” she shouted as he placed the balls of his feet about six inches from the sharp edge and, with his arms spread out from his sides, allowed his body to fall forward over the cliff.
Her scream pierced the air as he fell forward. His body was caught in the strong updraft and pushed him back into a semi-standing position. He ‘flew’ in place for several minutes before bending his knees and pushing himself back. Courtney threw herself into his arms, sobbing fearfully, and then started to slap his arms.
“You scared the fuck out of me, you bastard! How could you do that!!”
“Courtney, Courtney… must you swear like that? I’m afraid we will both have to take care of that bad habit once and for all tonight. Now, I would like you to try this.”
“No way, you crazy goon.”
“Please, I want you to try. It is very safe and I will be here.”
“You’re nuts. I can’t do this! It’s my worst nightmare!” Courtney cried, pressing into the mountain wall.
“Sometimes we find that facing our fears make those fears lose their power. If you can face this, there will be nothing you cannot do. Including breaking our curse.”
“I’m gonna die of fright, Marcas. I can’t…”
“Trust me. The journey that we face in the coming weeks should be far more frightening than this. I will be here, right behind you. I promise, my love, you are safe. Give up your control to me.”
“I don’t wanna die, Marcas.” Courtney sobbed as he readied her on the cliff’s edge.
“You are not going to die. Feel the wind in your face? Good girl. Feel it more. I’m right here, baby. Shh…close your eyes…” he urged, his hands on her hips. “Lean into the wind… spread open your arms and allow the air to rush around you. Good…”
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