Jake stood up next to me and Max's eyes darted back and forth as she waited for an answer. I responded by darting into the office and out the back door of the shop, leaving Jake to face Max alone.
I leaned up against the wall, hot tears of panic welling up in my eyes. I had barely gotten this job two weeks ago and now I had customers behind the counter? Where was I going to get a job, especially with my limited skills? I knew how to pour coffee and wipe counters for crying out loud! What would my father say? Charlie would tell me I am an idiot. Oh shit.
I slid down the wall with tears tracking down my face. I wallowed in my self inflicted misery. I debated if I should just toss my apron on the ground and start walking home or not when the back door opened and Max stepped through.
“Why are you crying?” she asked mildly.
“Cause you're going to fire me,” I said with a fresh tear racing down my face.
“Kody, breathe. Where am I going to find someone with your experience? I mean, yeah, you can't have someone behind the counter, even if he is a cutie,” she smiled and I blushed a bit.
“You aren't going to fire me?”
“I don't fire people. Besides, you're adorable; like a real person, only smaller.”
I laughed a little through my tears, which I tried to wipe off my face. I felt silly again. I slowly stood up.
“If I was over my ex, I'd go after that guy. Oh my God,” Max fanned herself with one hand.
“Yeah, he is hot,” I said. I looked up in surprise as I realized I had outed myself, but I wasn't sure if she'd caught it or not. She sighed.
“Marla wins. She said you were gay. She spotted it, but I said you were straight,” she laughed and I relaxed. “So is that cutie gay too?”
“No,” I said with a sigh. “He was in here with some bimbo the other night. I don't have a chance in hell.”
“Well, let's go inside. I think Marla cleaned up your mess,” she snickered.
“Is he gone yet? I don't want to see him. I turn into an idiot if he's around,” I told Max.
“Yeah, I do the same thing if my ex is around.” She sighed and poked her head in the door.
“Hey, Mar. Is cutie-patootie gone yet?” she giggled.
“Yeah,” Marla laughed. “It's safe to come out now.”
We reentered the shop and Marla was sipping a coffee. Max handed her a one dollar bill and told her she'd won. I blushed and Marla giggled.
“Oh, poor Kody!” she said while she patted me on the back. “Did Max force it out of you?”
“No, slip of the tongue,” I admitted.
“Oh well, we can look at cute guys together,” she laughed and I giggled a little with her.
“Oh, you should have seen when Scott worked here.” She rooted through her desk. “I think I have a picture in here somewhere.”
* * *
I walked home after work with my MP3 player hooked into my ears and playing the soundtrack from Mr. Holland's Opus. Cole's song was my favorite, and matched my hopeful yet somber mood. I passed the video store and a few small junk shops, singing the song under my breath as I walked.
I was doing my best to put Jake out of my head, nice as he had been. I just don't get beautiful people. Don't they know what kind of effect they have on mere mortals? It would be so much easier if he had been an asshole -- all wrapped up in himself and not even realizing I existed. But no, he has to be nice and considerate and give me a stupid little burst of hope. Of course, being nice to someone doesn't mean that you are interested in them. In fact, I was nice to a great many people everyday and I wouldn't mind a couple of them getting hit by city busses.
I headed up the stairs to my apartment and heard a door open and close as I hit the second floor. A guy was locking his door and he turned to look at me, He was average height with blond hair and green eyes that didn't glitter, but rather gave off a mellow glow. He smiled and walked past me, heading for the stairs. Jeez, I didn't know I had a neighbor -- let alone a good looking one. I opened my door and tossed my shirt into the hamper near the door. Since it was only me, I figured it was fine to have the dirty clothes hamper where it was convenient to drag out the front door.
I took a quick shower to get all of the coffee smells off of me, and then got myself into a pair of jeans and a VRU sweatshirt. My father nearly cleaned the campus store out of official VRU gear he was so eager and happy to have me there. I smiled in remembrance of how proud he was.
I grabbed some bus fare and my wallet before heading out the door again. My neighbor was coming up the stairs with a few bags of groceries, and I stopped to help him out.
“Need a hand?” I asked.
“If you start clapping I'll beat you senseless with a bag of Cheetos,” he laughed as he handed me a couple of the plastic bags.
“No clapping, got it,” I replied with a grin. He used his free hand to unlock and open the door; leaving it open for me to trail in his wake. His place was clean, well ordered, and a mirror image of my floor plan.
“You can set that right on the counter over here,” he said indicating the countertop in his kitchenette area. After releasing my hold, he stuck his hand out to shake, giving me a warm, sure grip. His hand felt muscular, toned from sports, and was absolutely delightful.
“I'm Nick Pedersen,” he said with a toothy smile.
“Kody Kingsley,” I replied returning his smile and handshake.
“KK, gotcha,” he grinned as he released my hand. “We're having a party tonight. Stop in if you like or tell us if we're too loud, man.”
“Uh, sure, thanks Nick. I'll see you later,” I stammered as I headed back out the door. He just smiled and I closed his door behind me.
Well, that was interesting! I headed out the door with my mood buoyed considerably, and headed for the bus stop. Capital District Transportation Authority, or CDTA ran the bus system out here and it was fairly decent. The seats sucked on most of them, like most city busses, but they were fairly reliable as far as being on time.
I took the bus out to Crossgates Mall, a huge shrine built to pay homage to the gods of retail. To date it boasts two hundred and fifty retail stores, plus eight anchor stores. That's one point six million square feet of shopping nirvana. Yeah, I liked to shop.
The ride took about twenty minutes and I got off in front of Lord & Taylor. The two-level mall had all sorts of places to go, and I browsed before heading into T.J. Maxx to hit the underwear section. Charlie thought it was funny to take most of them out of my suitcases before I left, and though dad promised to send them, he was notorious for forgetting packages.
I strolled through the aisles, looking at the jeans and the name brand shirts that were defective for reasons I usually couldn't tell. The socks and underwear section was at the back of the store in the far right corner. One display rack held tee shirts and separate racks held socks and underwear. I perused the underwear, checking out the prices before making a selection. I like to shop, but I don't like to blow money. I never buy Fruit of the Loom because of that FTL they put on them, it looks tacky, like a house brand cheap garment, or something made in a Guatemalan sweat shop. Funny how a name or a symbol can affect you, huh?
I pawed through the rest of the Hanes, before turning the corner and freezing. There's a brand of underwear called Jake & Co.? You have got to be kidding me. Was this meant as some kind of cosmic joke? Everywhere I went there was a Jake, even down to underwear! This was too much. I pawed through and found two packages of my size. I figured this was the only way Jake was getting in my pants, anyway. I admit I felt stupid walking to the counter, as if the clerk would see my reason for buying that brand and call me for it on the intercom.
“Attention shoppers! Kody Kingsley has just brought two packages of Jake & Co. boxer briefs to the counter because he has a ridiculous crush on someone named Jake! Can we have someone from security here?”
But of course, that didn't happen and I walked out with my new underwear safely in a bag. I had lost my zest for the mall, and head
ed home with my new purchases, wondering what was wrong with me. The bus let me off on Central Avenue
. I walked up the street, hearing the strains of Matchbox 20 coming from my house. Must be the party, I thought to myself.
I climbed the stairs in the dark, reminding myself I would have to speak to the landlord since this was somewhat dangerous, especially if I thought of Jake and tripped. Jake would be an accessory to my accident, owing to him being so good looking and charming.
The door to my neighbor's apartment muffled the music and the murmur of conversation, laughter punctuating the hum of voices at regular intervals. I opened my door and walked into my bedroom, dropping the bag with its incriminating evidence. I debated going to the party, surely my face wouldn't give away my infatuation completely, right?
I combed my hair once more, adding a little dry wax to get the front to flip up in the front, and then headed next door. I stood outside for a moment to gather my courage, and knocked. Nick answered.
“Kody! Come on in man, meet everyone….”
Chapter 5
Breaking Masks
Josh Aterovis and Dave Dabeagle
© 2004
"Jake"
“I can explain everything, just don't fire Kody,” I said, holding out my hands in the universal sign for “Don't hurt me.”
Max burst into laughter, and I belatedly realized that her reddening face had only been a sign of impending mirth and not anger. My face flushed. I stood awkwardly while she laughed herself out and the blonde Marla gave me a measuring look.
“Nobody is getting fired, least of all Kody,” she said when her laughter had died down. “Funny, though, how I don't remember hiring you, so maybe you could explain why you're behind my counter.”
“Well, um, I startled Kody and he knocked over a pot of coffee and I didn't know if he'd burned himself so I came back to check and then I was helping him clean up the mess...”
“Take a breath, kid,” she said cutting me off. “Aren't you just a good little Samaritan?” She peered over the counter and raised an eyebrow at the mess. “Well, that was mighty sweet of you, but we'll take care of it now. So unless you want to tie on an apron, I suggest you get out from behind my counter.”
I quickly and gratefully made my escape as Marla and Max slipped past me.
“I'll take care of this. You go check on Kody,” Marla said to Max. Max left through the back door and Marla turned her thoughtful gaze on me. I had a feeling she wasn't going to let me off as easily as Max had, so I grabbed my coffee and nodded in her direction as I practically ran for the door.
That was real smooth, Jake, I thought as I walked back to campus. I'd never botched a pick-up quite that badly before, and I'd had some real doozies. Like the time I got shot down by a guy at a club only to find out he was my teacher a few days later when school started. That had been awkward, but this was different. I always shook off my other failures, but this one deeply disappointed me. It wasn't just that it was embarrassing - I'd have to see Kody again if I wanted to keep getting coffee there. And it wasn't just that he was adorable - although, that smile! I'd been shot down by hotter guys and walked away without a second thought. So what was different? I really wanted to get to know Kody. He fascinated me. Maybe it was his innocence. There was a certain naiveté about him that I found very attractive.
What am I thinking? I don't even know if he's gay!
Things had been going well though, at least before Max and Marla had returned. I was pretty sure I was getting positive signals from him. I sighed. It was possible I'd never know now. I wouldn't blame him if he ran the next time he saw me coming. What had I been thinking going behind the counter like that? I could have gotten him fired.
Even if he is gay, he probably won't be interested in you if he finds out about your past, a nasty little voice whispered inside my head. Maybe that was what made this different. My attraction to Kody was deeper than just his looks. Deep inside, I knew I wanted more than a one-night stand and that terrified me. I didn't know if I was ready to be honest with someone about the things I'd done. I could always keep it a secret but if things developed then I'd have to tell him eventually. It would only be worse then because I would have hidden it from him. I sighed. These thoughts were going nowhere fast. I didn't even know if Kody was gay.
As I passed the student union, I remembered that I still needed to buy my books, so I decided to try again. If nothing else, it would be a welcome distraction from my thoughts of Kody. If they didn't have them this time, I didn't know what I would do.
Luckily, the bookstore wasn't as busy today. I pulled the list out of my wallet, where I'd tucked it away for safe keeping, and started looking up numbers. They must have restocked the shelves since the last time I was here because it didn't take me long to find all but one of my textbooks. I took my stack up to the cash register and asked about the final book. The guy behind the counter said they didn't have any more of that book, and probably wouldn't for another week. He quickly rang up my other purchases and I almost fell over when he told me the total. He gave me a sympathetic smile.
“It gets worse,” he said. “Just wait until book buy-back. It doesn't matter if you haven't even cracked it open, you'll only get a tiny fraction back. Then they'll turn around and resell it next semester for a huge profit. It's all a big racket.”
“And it's legal,” I said as I reluctantly handed over my credit card. Mom would pay for the bill, but it still annoyed me to pay that much for a few books.
I lugged my small fortune worth of books back to my dorm, where I tried to juggle them while unlocking my door. In the process, I banged the door several times with the stack of books. I just about had it unlocked when much to my surprise it swung open, throwing me off balance. I stumbled into the room, dropping my books everywhere, and careened into what felt like a brick wall but turned out to be - who else? - Slug. He caught me in a bone-crushing hug and looked down at me as if I'd somehow lost my mind.
“Don't you have a room?” I snapped as I struggled to disentangle myself from the giant.
“Yeah, but my roommate doesn't like me,” he said matter-of-factly.
“I can't imagine why not,” my voice was soaked in sarcasm but the Neanderthal didn't seem to notice.
“I don't know either. I'm always polite.”
I stifled a roar of frustration as I turned away to pick up my books. I stacked them on my desk, then decided to get it over with. “Where is Foster?” I asked, even though I knew it was an exercise in futility.
He shrugged - an act that sent ripples across his chest. “Dunno.”
“Why am I not surprised?”
He sat on Foster's bed and stared dumbly at me. I fought the urge to scream at the big doofus, reminding myself that he couldn't help being the dimmest bulb on the Christmas tree. Besides, I knew what was really bothering me was fact that I'd screwed things up with Kody. There was no point taking that out on Slug.
I flopped backwards onto my bed with a sigh.
“Are you okay?” Slug asked.
“It's a long story,” I said waving my hand dismissively.
“I have time.”
“Thanks, but...I don't really feel like talking about it.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Was it my imagination or did he sound a little disappointed? I took pity on him and decided to attempt conversation.
“So you're friends with Foster?”
“Yes.”
This might be more difficult than I'd first thought. “How do you know each other?”
“We went to the same high school.”
“Where was that?”
“Canton.”
“Is that in New York?”
“Yeah.”
“I've never heard of it.”
“It's upstate.”
I was getting worn out from the effort of extracting information. I decided to take a breather and let a silence settle between us. I jumped a little when he suddenly started talking.
> “We've been friends since like kindergarten. We're both really good at sports. Foster plays lacrosse and I play football. Foster used to play football too before he got into lacrosse. We used to be best friends, but when he started playing lacrosse he didn't talk to me as much. When he found out that I was going here too, he suddenly became my friend again. Everybody always thinks I'm really stupid, and maybe I'm not the smartest guy, but I'm not as dumb as people think either. Foster thinks I'm dumb, but he's not any smarter than me. I got better grades than he did. Sometimes I don't think he really even likes me all that much. I think he's just my friend because I'm the only person he knows here.”
I stared at Slug with a new respect. As he'd admitted, he might not be the brightest guy but he was obviously smarter than he looked to have figured all that out on his own.
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