Crossed Off

by Lacey Silks

  And every wall held a different collage of family photographs. One had shots of only his mother, Beth. Some were on a beach, her hair fluttering back and forth; others were taken without her knowing as she was reading a book or stirring a pot in the kitchen. They were all gorgeous and complimentary. Another wall displayed what appeared to be a Christmas when they were much younger.

  With my eyes wide open, I gawked at each wall, making sure to see every single photograph there was. There had to be at least a hundred of them.

  Upstairs, the master bedroom, enormous bathroom, and a gym overlooked the living room. The circular staircase weaved down to the main hallway. Downstairs, a state-of-the-art kitchen opened to the living room. Beyond, just before the dining room was a bar full of liquors of all colors, bottle shapes and sizes.

  While everything appeared to be perfect, the room didn’t seem to have been used too much, and I wondered about the actual time Cash had spent here. It couldn’t be a lot because there wasn’t even a footprint on the white carpet by the couch. When I turned around toward the kitchen, my breath stilled in my lungs. On the counter was a huge vase full of pink roses. I stepped toward it and removed the small envelope which had my name inscribed. I lifted the front panel open and read.

  Dear Sky,

  If I never told you that you smell like pink roses, then I need to. Put your nose right into this bouquet, and you’ll know exactly how it feels to be near you. The only downfall of the flower is that it probably doesn’t taste as good as you do. I can’t wait to see you tonight.

  Cash

  “Wow.” I heard my hushed breath float through the room. When my gaze found the coffee machine with a sticky note over a button saying “press me,” I pushed my finger against it. Fresh brew dripped into the ready cup within seconds. This was exactly what I needed.

  On the fridge, I found another note, which said, “Breakfast is in the warming drawer, but everything else you need to complete it is in the fridge.”

  I pulled out a plate full of pancakes from the drawer in the wall underneath the oven with a sticky note that said “warming drawer.”

  “Cash really likes his sticky notes,” I said to myself, smiling. By the time I set up my breakfast with everything he’d prepared, I couldn’t believe that he’d done all this for me. Pancakes, a fruit bowl, and coffee: this was exactly my style. I wondered whether he remembered that it was what I’d eaten at the Plaza the morning after our first night together.

  Soon after I finished the dishes, I heard a key twist in the front door, and I was glad that Cash warned me about Sonia coming over. It was already after noon.

  “Sky?” she whispered.

  “In here.” I jumped off my chair and ran back to the hallway.

  “I wasn’t supposed to disturb you, but....”

  “I’m so happy you did. Oh my God, Sonia. Thank you for these.” I saw that she carried a duffle bag filled with clothes in addition to a few others in her hands. “Wait, are these all for me?”

  “He asked me to get you some new ones too. On his credit card. Holy shit, Sky. How did you two meet?”

  “It’s a long story. It turns out we have a few mutual friends.”

  “I’m so happy for you. You’ve been locked up in that apartment for too long. You look happy around him. And not afraid. I think he’s good for you.”

  “It definitely feels that way. I’ve never been swept off my feet the way Cash managed. It’s like he completely gets me. I feel so safe with him.”

  “Well, from the way he was looking at you at my party, he more than gets you, Sky. He was eating you alive with his eyes the entire night.”

  I wish I could tell her that he actually did eat me, just not with his eyes, but I didn’t think Sonia would be able to look at her bathroom in the same way again if she knew exactly what happened there. “I don’t know where this is going or if it can go further, but for now I feel like I’m in a good place.”

  “Good. Listen, I gotta run, but if you need anything, call me. Please?”

  “Of course. Thank you for these.”

  “Oh, and I brought your contact case as well. It’s in your duffle bag.”

  Thank goodness. My eyes were beginning to sting, and maybe I could let them rest without the colorful lenses before Cash returned from work.

  “I’m not sure how I could ever live without you, Sonia. Really, thank you. Do you think you could stop by my apartment to feed Milky?” I hugged my friend with as much might as I had.

  “You’re welcome, and I already had,” she said, heading toward the door. “And I want details when you have some time.”

  “I’ll try.” I locked the door behind her, sat down on the wooden floor in the middle of the hall, and sifted through the bags of brand-new clothing. My jaw nearly hit the floor. I was used to her purchasing designer labels for me as that was what I needed when I worked for Mr. Wagner, but Cash completely went out of his way to get me clothing that most celebrities wouldn’t dare sneeze at.

  My favorite bag was one with a black dress inside that held a sticky note saying, “Wear me tonight.” One look and I knew how beautiful the black-lace design over the nude fabric would feel against my body.

  When I dove into the boxes of lingerie, I couldn’t wait to try on every piece he’d gotten. And there sure was a lot. From silk negligees to panties, bras, stockings, and garter belts, everything fit me perfectly. I set aside the undergarments I wanted to wear tonight and went on to discover the rest of the condo.

  The first room to the left of the front door drew me in. It was Cash’s office. The dark wood shelving here matched the hallway, and it looked like the only room which was used. A few papers were scattered over his desk, and I wondered whether he’d left them in a hurry. On one of the shelves was a photograph of what looked to be his family. I recognized a much younger Mr. Wagner and Beth, as well as Cash. He couldn’t have been older than fifteen in the picture. The girl with the funky hairdo must have been Grace, and the little boy with a Band-Aid over his brow Scar—the youngest brother Cash had told me about.

  Next to that photograph was another one of Cash with a gorgeous woman in his arms. This one wasn’t framed. They were on a boat, and from the look of the crystal water, it must have been taken somewhere out on the ocean. From the way Cash held her and looked at her, I knew that they were definitely not related.

  The other rooms in the condo included two more bedrooms, a laundry room, and a room I never expected. In that last one, hundreds of photographs were scattered on a long table, as if waiting to be organized. Some were of his family and others appeared to be of people on the streets, including a homeless man pushing a cart and an older businessman walking along the sidewalk with a young bride under his arm. Those were all black-and-white, and it didn’t seem to matter whom he photographed; they were all beautiful.

  I spent the rest of the day reading a book I found in Cash’s office, and early in the afternoon, I decided to change into the dress he’d asked me to wear.

  By the time Cash came home, the sun was almost touching the horizon. I was certain that nothing could amaze me about this man any more, until I experienced the luxury of what it meant to be Cash Wagner in New York when he stepped over the threshold. Holy shit, did he ever look amazing! He wore a white shirt with the top three buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up, and his suit jacket was draped over his shoulder. In his right hand he held a huge bouquet of pink roses and a bottle of champagne. And that beautiful smile of his beamed as if he’d practiced it all day long, just for me. Cash set a bag full of what I smelled to be dinner aside. But I was sure I wasn’t hungry at this moment, at least not for food. My appetite tonight was only for the mouth-watering man standing in front of me.

  As I drank in the full length of him, I had a feeling that he was doing the same to my body. Sudden tingles of eagerness flew through me, and it felt amazing. In fact, since this morning, I was beginning to feel as if I were living someone else’s life. He preoccupied my mind
every minute, and no matter how many times I told myself that I shouldn’t get involved, I was sure that we were way past that point.

  “I missed you,” I said. “Welcome home.”

  CHAPTER 11

  I jumped into his arms and planted a wet one on his lips. His suit ended up on the floor as he held me against him with his free hand. It took a long while before I could peel away from him. Sliding down his body, feeling his every muscle and the first hint of excitement that began to strain under his zipper, I felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

  “You put this back on?” He smoothed his hand over my black wig. For a moment, I got the feeling that Cash wasn’t too pleased, but when he pressed his lips to mine again, that moment passed.

  “I thought it matched the dress nicely,” I said, when in all honesty I think I would have preferred to go commando than without a wig. “I can’t believe you live here.”

  Cash wrapped his arm around me and softly whispered in my ear, “It’s just a place to call my own. Nothing more.”

  I highly doubted that. I had a place to call my own, and while I wouldn’t exactly call it home, I think it’d be much easier if it was designed like Cash’s condo, with all the trimmings.

  As Cash lowered the bouquet of flowers into the vase filled with the other roses, I picked a chocolate-covered strawberry off a plate I found in the fridge and brought it to his lips. He took the bite, saying, “This was supposed to be for tonight.”

  “It’s already tonight.” I heard my voice soften. His eyes were beaming with happiness, and I couldn’t help but feel that it was because of me.

  “I want you to close your eyes. We don’t have much time,” he said.

  “Why?”

  “Just trust me and close them. I promise you won’t regret it, but we need to hurry.”

  I shut my eyes. Cash took my hand and led me over a hardwood surface. It soon changed to soft carpeting, then went back to wood, and I knew we’d passed over the small rug at the foot of the staircase. Curious about what was behind the secret door in his bedroom, I must have gone up and down the stairs dozens of times today, contemplating whether I should peek. But of course I didn’t.

  “We’re going up the stairs, okay? Hold on to the railing and be careful.”

  The surface was smooth underneath my palm. I felt Cash’s hands at my hips as he walked along my side and steadied my stance. With my eyes closed, the smell of the apartment was more distinct and manly, identical to the way Cash always smelled. The blend of sandalwood and earthy musk was everywhere, and I couldn’t get enough. Once upstairs, we passed another carpeted area, which I knew was the bedroom. I heard Cash fiddle with a lock, and butterflies of excitement fluttered their wings against the walls of my tummy.

  “You’re not going to lock me up somewhere, are you?” I teased, somewhat nervous. While I knew we were still in his bedroom, I couldn’t help but be curious about what he wanted to show me beyond the balcony door.

  “Don’t be silly, Sky. Of course not.”

  And that’s when fresh air slammed into me. I filled my lungs, reaching my hands out to see whether there was a railing I was supposed to hold on to but couldn’t find any.

  “You can step further out, much further. Keep them closed.” Cash took my hand, interlaced our fingers, and walked beside me another ten steps. By now it felt as if I was completely outside. The sound of evening traffic and honking resonated in my ears, but it wasn’t as loud as what I was used to. He then stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

  “This is my favorite place of all. Perfect timing too. Open your eyes, Skyler.”

  It took a moment for my sight to adjust, but when I opened them, in front of me I saw a beautiful view of Central Park and a skyline with the sun setting behind it. A quarter of its shape was already hidden, but the orange-and-yellow glow between the buildings was stunning. The nickname “the city that never sleeps” was so appropriate at this moment, because honestly, who would want to sleep and miss this? It was as if the sun was trying to boost the city’s life with the last of its rays. On the terrace where we stood, cascading fuchsia petunias flowed from their pots, big enough to be worthy of belonging in Mother Nature’s garden. Spider plants between them contrasted the strong colors, and vines I’d last seen in Ogden spread up the wall. I looked down at my inked arm, noting the resemblance. I wasn’t sure why, but this felt more like home than any other place I’d ever been to. And although I’d already seen the view today through the windows in the living room downstairs, it was nothing like looking out from what seemed to be the top of the world. And that’s when I realized that Cash lived on the top floor of the building, in the penthouse. Where else should I have expected him to be?

  “It’s beautiful. You’re going to have to kick me out of here, Cash.”

  “Good, I was hoping you’d say that.”

  I turned around to face him, and with his gorgeous face bathed in the last light as the sun disappeared beyond the horizon, Cash pressed his lips against mine. I eased into his arms as if his hold was meant only for me. He tilted my head for that perfect angle and held my face between his hands. I reached to his biceps, clinging to him as if he were my lifeline. His warm lips held the remnants of strawberries and chocolate, and I made sure I got every last taste of it through his mouth. I just couldn’t get enough of him. Soon enough, the zipper running down the side of my dress sounded, and I was so lost in him, it wasn’t until I felt his excitement against my belly that I pulled away for a breath of fresh air. I didn’t even notice when we’d walked to the side of the beautiful terrace into a nook that was concealed from anyone else’s view which hosted a corner couch and a table. Right beside the set was a bubbling Jacuzzi underneath a gazebo. White sheers draped from the top fluttered in the light breeze.

  “Do you like your dress?” he asked.

  “I love it. And all the other stuff you got me as well. But really, you shouldn’t have. I can still afford to buy my own clothes.”

  “I know you can, but I wanted to do this for you. I wanted you to have a relaxing day.”

  “I did.”

  He smoothed his thumb across the seam of my lips. “I’ve been thinking about taking it off you all day long. I want you, Sky. Very, very badly.”

  The sun’s last glow faded from Cash’s cheeks, and I felt a chill sweep over my heated body. “I’ve been thinking about you too.”

  “Looks like you need to be warmed up.”

  I couldn’t even answer him. The entire scene in front of me was from some kind of a movie. With everything I’d done today, it felt like I was getting ready just for him. A mouth-watering man, expensive home, beautiful atmosphere—I felt like I was living out a dream. These sorts of romantic scenes where everything fell into place were usually set in novels, not real life. Cash removed my dress from my shoulders. The fabric cascaded to the deck, and I stood in front of him in my see-through black bra, and matching panties and heels.

  Standing no more than three feet away from me, he took a lungful of air. “God, you’re so beautiful.” Cash shifted the bulge in his pants to the side, and I couldn’t help but lick my lips. Memories of the night before began flooding my mind and I felt my panties moisten.

  While Cash was unfastening the remaining buttons of his shirt, he said to me, “Touch yourself, Sky.”

  I let the lump of nerves pass through my throat before I slid my hand down my belly and into my panties. The heat of my mound almost burned against my hand, but I couldn’t stop. Seeing his cock grow with each second and how much this affected him gave me that extra confidence I needed. I reached up to my breast with my other hand, lowered the cup of my bra, and squeezed my nipple between my fingers. I saw him take another deep breath in and pause for a moment. If he wanted me to do this, I sure as hell would do a good job.

  “Tell me how it feels.” His voice was raspy. His chest moved up and down in a quicker tempo. Cash stepped closer to me, and I couldn’t wait for him to feel me. He was still
opening his shirt, and it appeared as if he was working those damn buttons in slow motion. Or was it just me, wishing it was his hand between my legs, feeling me tense each time I saw his cock pulse, instead of my own? Yet I couldn’t help but open my mouth as my fingers slid lower, down to where my slick juices seeped from within. I’d been thinking about him between my legs all day long.

  “Wet,” I breathed. “And hot.” I couldn’t wait any longer and slid a finger inside my wet sheath. That only made him fumble with the buckle. I could tell that he was trying to hurry, but with all of his attention on me, it appeared that Cash had a difficult time concentrating on undressing himself. When I pulled my wetness up to the top and began rubbing myself in front of him, he almost jumped out of his pants.

  “Jesus Christ, Sky. You sure know how to kill a man.”

  I froze at his words and everything inside me shut down. It was as if someone had poured a bucket of cold water over me and erased the entire week and a half of my life. The past two years had suddenly shifted into focus. What was I doing here? What was I thinking? Slowly, I removed my hand from my panties and put my breast back within the confines of the bra.

  “Sky? Did I say something wrong?”

  “I... I just need a moment. Can I use your washroom?” I asked.

  “Yes, of course. You know where it is.” He pointed, most definitely shocked by my cowardly retreat.

  “Thank you.” I rushed into the en suite. Leaning against the marble counter, I looked in the mirror. In the reflection was a woman I didn’t recognize. I straightened my back, removed my wig, set it aside, and smoothed my auburn hair. I then took the contacts I wore daily out of my eyes. The green eyes in the mirror appeared almost foreign. I wasn’t used to them anymore, but this was the face of a murderer. I did kill a man, albeit to save my sister and avenge my lost baby and fiancé, but I still killed him.