by Taylor Hart
“No.”
“Why?”
“I just need to sleep.” He could see the herculean effort it took for her to open her eyes. Pain winced across her face. “I have to tell you something.”
“Okay.” Cooper waited.
She closed her eyes. “I’m sorry.”
Looking over her face, he saw the wet cloth on her bed. Picking it up, he went to the bathroom to think. He rinsed the cloth in cool water. Then went back to her.
What could she be sorry for? It didn’t make sense. “For what?”
“For liking you.” Her voice was weak, and she closed her eyes. “I never should have come to this stupid retreat.”
He was stunned. Yes, he’d suspected she had feelings for him, but he didn’t know what to do or say now that she was admitting it.
“Please, just go. I’ll be fine.”
“No.” She had just confessed she liked him. If she thought he was leaving, she was crazy. He sat in the chair next to her bed.
“Please … just go.” She tried to open her eyes, and he could see how much it hurt her. “Really, I just need quiet and sleep.”
For a few minutes, he just sat there, watching her in pain, wishing he could help. Reaching forward, he put his hand over hers. “Look, we’ll figure all this out tomorrow.” Yeah, they would figure it out. Did she have feelings for Tom or not? Why had she told him she liked him? And why in the heck had Dante, the seven circles of love guy, been in her room?
He got up and went to the door.
Her eyes were closed. “Cooper, I’m sorry.”
He left, closing the door softly behind him, more confused and worried than before he’d come.
Chapter 15
The next morning, London woke to faint knocking. She shot to a sitting position in her bed then lay back down immediately. The good thing was, gloriously, the pain was gone.
“Hey, sis, open up.”
Getting of the bed, she shuffled to her door and opened it.
A look of concern was on Tom’s face. “Why did I have to hear this morning from the guru you’re trying to expose that my sister was down with a migraine?”
“What time is it?” Looking around the room, she tried to find a clock.
Tom walked in. “Nine.” The look on his face was sharp, but his tone was soft. “Are you all right?” He looked her up and down.
“Fine.” She paused, remembering what she’d told Cooper last night. Remembering the look in Dante’s eyes as he’d told her they needed to team up. “Cooper told you I was sick?”
Clicking his tongue, Tom shook his head and then let out a big sigh. “Yeah, told me over eggs this morning in his fancy kitchen. He also made a couple of comments about how I should refrain from dancing with other girls and try to focus on you.”
She didn’t say anything, but felt a tiny smile on her lips. He was protective.
A smile washed over Tom’s face. “I actually kinda like the guy better since he said that.” He frowned. “You’ve got to tell him the truth.”
She thought of the first article she’d written and how much it would hurt Cooper. “I can’t.”
Moving to the couch, he sat, took off his cowboy hat, threw it next to him, and crossed one boot over the other. Leveling her with a look akin to what her father might give her if he’d caught her lying, Tom looked severe. “You shouldn’t be doing this stupid job. You should go home to Nebraska and run the Chronicle.”
“Do you know how hard I’ve worked to make something out of myself and get out of that stupid town?” She shot back.
Tom didn’t answer for a second then shrugged. “Anything that takes your soul from you can’t be worth it.”
He was right, and she hated it. “I messed up. I wrote an article about him on my main work server, but the article is mean.”
Tom cocked an eyebrow. “How mean?”
“If I saw Pastor Tim, I’d have to confess.” She thought of their hometown preacher. “My boss is threatening to publish it if I don’t give her a series of better articles on him. But,” she said feeling lost, “there’s nothing better. He … he’s amazing.”
Tom rubbed his chin. “That sucks.”
“Yeah.”
“Want me to kick your boss in the butt?”
London laughed and thought of Marcia’s spiked heels. “I think she might be a match for you.” She decided she might as well tell Tom the whole truth. “Now there’s another guy from another magazine here, and my boss wants us to team up to take Cooper down.”
Tom clutched his fist. “And people say the military has too many politics in it.”
“I know.” She tried to think of a way out of all this.
They both sat there for a few seconds, not speaking.
Tom stood. “Come on, sis. Since you can’t fix it right now, let’s go climb Rock Springs Buttress today. Cooper says they’re leaving at ten.” He opened his arms.
She slipped into them. She felt happier than she’d been since she’d landed in Jackson and far more at peace. “I can’t face him.”
Tom held her tight. “He’s not going. He’s teaching another class for the people who aren’t going climbing.”
Her heart lightened, thinking she could ignore her problems and spend the day with her brother.
He nudged her. “Go get dressed, and let’s have some fun. Fun makes everything better.”
She knew she could do anything because her big brother had her back.
Chapter 16
It wasn’t that Cooper didn’t believe in a moment of justice for people. He did.
But his inner calming and Zen mindset allowed for all to live their lives how they saw fit. If it didn’t interfere in his life, he didn’t believe in getting involved.
But something wasn’t right about this situation.
London Bridge.
The past few nights were the first time in a long time he couldn’t center himself because of a woman.
As Cooper took a minute to sit on his overlook and sip a green smoothie Mira had prepared, he wondered why this woman had gotten under his skin. How had it happened so fast? Three days. He’d only known her three days, and he was lost.
All he wanted to do right now was go make sure she was okay. Her dipstick boyfriend had acted concerned, but somewhat angry, when Cooper had told him she was sick.
Then there was the Italian walking out of her room last night. The loser who’d given her the whole seven circles crap. Cooper noticed he was gripping his smoothie tighter. The feelings of jealousy were foreign and uncomfortable.
Then she’d told him she was sorry because she liked him.
What the crap?
He hadn’t been this turned inside out since he’d come home and found the note telling him Nadia had gone to California with their chiropractor. The one who came to the house twice a week for alignment adjustments.
Cooper wouldn’t say he’d been angry. No, he’d been more … bewildered.
That was before he knew the Junto boys. Before he’d moved to Jackson, Wyoming. Before he could do anything about it except breathe.
So that’s what he’d done.
At the time, they were living in Estes Park, Colorado. He was teaching at CU Boulder and writing. He was flying in and out of Denver and touring the country for his first popular book, Holding Back.
Ironically, the book had been centered on overcoming childhood issues and creating your own life narrative. The story you want to define you. Not letting all the old stories hold you back.
Basically, looking back, Cooper saw he had stuck the information his wife had left on a shelf in his brain and then carried on with his life. Yoga had become his life along with meditation. He focused his energy on love and joy and putting out what he wanted to carry around inside of him.
And it worked.
It was no less than a miracle. Cooper had known it had been brought about by his mediation when Nadia came home to Estes Park four months later.
She’d come in and dropped her bags, f
alling apart hysterically. Nadia had never had control over her emotions or even tried to have control. She was explosive and fiery.
Whether it was his love for her or his own brokenness that caused him to take her back, he didn’t know.
After she’d passed, he’d retired to the beach in Hawaii and spent a year studying ancient practices of non-violence and love.
He’d made millions lecturing about it later that year.
It’d all led him to the Tetons. He’d decided living in Jackson could be another “experience.” He could climb and focus on the divine he hadn’t known for sure had existed until Nadia’s death. He could focus on just being.
Shortly after moving, he’d met the Junto boys, Cameron Cruz, Montana Crew, Hunter James, and Sterling Pennington, and things changed. Together they were a force to be reckoned with. He liked being part of something bigger than himself. It was interesting to him how their conscious minds could connect the way they did.
He’d never had that.
But the Junto boys had changed him. He saw their happiness, the way most of them had taken a chance on love. Real love. Real passion.
Now, just being wasn’t enough anymore.
That’s when he’d had the idea for the retreats. He’d actually only become a true billionaire since getting mentored by Hunter James. Hunter had sat down with him and looked at all his projects and shown him where he could tweak a few things to maximize his profits.
Now he felt like he was in unchartered waters again. Not just because he’d been battling all the old demons from childhood and his relationship with Nadia. It was more than just that.
Cooper grunted to himself and took another swig of his smoothie. It was the way of life—ironically. Looking for it’s purpose, the path, the person one should be with felt like it started with major confusion.
Finishing off his drink, he stood, grateful he didn’t need practice to give the lecture today.
He thought of London. Tom said he would check on her and then go climbing. Cooper couldn’t believe it. His girlfriend is sick in bed. He’s leaving in a couple of days, and he goes climbing?
Nope. It didn’t make sense.
He put his cup down. He had to see her if he was going to be able to focus at all today.
Chapter 17
London stood next to Tom, letting the men from the climbing company measure her waist. “He’s not here, is he?”
Tom wore camouflage pants, boots, and a white t-shirt. He hadn’t brought his cowboy hat and, with his crew cut, was clearly military. He glanced around. “I can’t see him.”
She couldn’t stop a nervous giggle as she stared at her brother. “You look like Iceman from Top Gun.”
Turning back to her, he pulled the sunglasses off and flashed a grin. “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth.”
She giggled harder. “Wrong movie.”
He laughed. “Hey, they both have Tom Cruise.”
She noticed a petite, brunette with flaming red lipstick ogling him. “Miss Lipstick is looking at you, but remember you’re my undercover boyfriend,” she whispered.
Tom never had a problem with the ladies, and that clearly hadn’t changed. He turned and winked at her. “I’m not a good boyfriend,” he whispered back out of the side of his mouth.
She glared at the brunette for good measure. “Isn’t that the truth?” Then she scanned the other soon-to-be climbers.
Unexpectedly, Cooper walked out of the front of the conference center lobby. He was all suited up for climbing. He wasn’t looking at her, but she couldn’t stop staring at him. She wanted to reach out and touch his perfect facial hair.
Her heart skipped a beat, and she tried to move behind Tom.
“What?” Tom asked.
But Cooper had already spotted her. Their eyes connected.
“Crap.” Her mind raced. She did not want to deal with this right now.
He was there quickly, moving around Tom and giving her a speculative look. “Hey, can I talk to you? How are you today?”
Her headache was almost gone, probably because her body knew relief was coming. “Good. Much better. Thank you.”
Cooper nodded and let out a sigh. “I’m glad.” He gave his trademark grin, the one that showed the little dimple in the right side of his cheek.
Unsure why he was here, she wished she had held off on the eggs and toast she’d eaten a few minutes ago. She could not have this discussion right now.
Cooper cleared his throat. “Tom, London, would you like to come with me in my Jeep?”
Tom, who was making faces at Miss Brunette, jerked his head to Cooper. “What?”
“I thought you guys might want to come with me.”
She couldn’t help but notice Cooper’s physique in the climbing gear. He wasn’t skinny, like some vegan, health nut people she knew in New York. No, he was strong. Fit. As if he were Bear Grylls and could be dropped off to survive anyplace for months at a time.
“You have to stay and teach a class.” She blurted.
Giving her a look that said, you’re so busted, he folded his arms. “I’m not climbing with the group. I just wanted to take you guys. We’ll be back in plenty of time.” He gave Tom a stern look. “That’s okay with you, Tom, right?”
“Well …” Tom hedged.
Her heart raced. The last thing she wanted was to be alone with him. “No, I’m fine.” She casually turned away, looking at the vans parked next to the curb. No. No. No. Not right now. C’mon, give her a chance to work up to it.
“Oh no, I don’t think so.” Before she knew what happened, Cooper took a firm grip on her hand and was gently pulling her toward him. He nodded at Tom. “You don’t mind, do you?”
She saw the amused look on Tom’s face. “Oh, no, you’re good. Take your time.”
She gave Tom a face that told him he would pay before turning to Cooper. “Let me go!”
Cooper acted as if he didn’t even hear her. He pulled her through the group of people. She let herself be dragged, realizing it was her “Come to Jesus” moment. Her conscience had already gotten to her. She may as well confess.
They followed the path around the pool area and to the same crack in the fence where she’d committed the original sin by sneaking into his hot tub. He tugged her through and kept moving straight across the back yard to a large garage separated from his home. “I want answers.”
Okay, she could concede that she’d deceived him, and in more ways than he even knew. But it wouldn’t suit to have him think he could drag her wherever he wanted. Yanking her hand back, she stopped walking right next to the garage door. “Stop.”
Giving her an irritated look, he pushed in a key code, and the garage door opened.
She had to get this over with before she was forced to be alone with him. “Tom’s not my boyfriend.”
Swiveling to face her, he pulled off his sunglasses. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
It didn’t help that she loved the hazel green of his eyes. “I …” Could she tell him why she was there? Could she? “He’s my brother.”
Cooper shook his head from side to side and let out a curt laugh. “Man, I so wanted to punch the guy’s lights out last night.”
She hated her fast heartbeat, but she relished that he wanted to hit someone because of her. “But you don’t believe in violence.”
He stared at her.
“People, March 2014.”
He shook his head. “Why did you lie?”
She couldn’t answer.
“You were hurt by Dillon. I get that. But why make up a boyfriend?”
“I know you get that.” She added quickly, not answering his question. She thought of Nadia. If anyone knew how much it hurt, he did.
They both stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.
She turned to leave. “I’m sorry.”
Cooper took her hand, pulling her back. “When Nadia came back from running off, I don’t know if it was a good thing or bad thi
ng, but I was happy. When she told me she had stage-four breast cancer, I was crushed, but I stayed by her side and helped her fight it. Because it was the right thing to do.”
Without warning, London was crying, seeing his pain, feeling his pain, unbelieving as to what she’d been going to do to this man.
He blinked. “I loved her even though she couldn’t love me the way I needed her to. I thought it was fine, but lately it’s all come back, and I haven’t been able to sort it out. Why did I take care of a woman who’d abandoned me? She came back just to use me.” Tears appeared in his eyes.
Stupefied that Cooper Harrison, relationship guru and Zen master, was telling her all this, she did the only thing she knew how to do when people cried. She hugged him.
He hugged her back. She felt him shaking, and she held him tighter.
Human connection.
Real. Purposeful.
She realized it was the only real thing in the world at this moment, and it was something she didn’t deserve from him.
She knew—with every part of her—that she cared for Cooper Harrison.
He shouldn’t be used for an article.
All the research she’d done on him, now it all made sense.
He was a rock; he was Zen; he was a master. Because he had to be.
He’d been left as a child, he had a wife who had run off with another man and had only come back to die.
She cried harder with him and didn’t know who was comforting whom.
How could she sell him out? How could she have ever thought she could debunk this amazing man?
Pulling back, he pushed her hair away from her face and searched her eyes. “You’re beautiful, you know that?” He looked at her lips. “Can I kiss you?”
Their breath mingled, and she could feel his heartbeat pressed against her.
Now, she wanted nothing except to kiss him. After she told him the truth, it might turn out to be their last kiss.
No matter how right or wrong that was, she wouldn’t lie to herself—she wanted it.
“Yes.”
It was one of those moments that should be in a movie.