At five o’clock she took one of Gregory’s sleeping pills and left a note that she had a headache. And as she fell into a heavy sleep she wondered if Robin suspected she had planned their “accidental” meeting.
The “accidental” meeting had disturbed Robin. He thought about it off and on during the afternoon. He found himself snapping at his secretary, being more than curt with Andy Parino, and actually rude when he turned down Jerry’s invitation for drinks at the Lancer Bar. When he got home he mixed himself a drink and tried to watch television. But Judith kept coming to his mind. She had looked so pathetic standing in front of the bookstore. Her feeble excuse had rocked him—the poor thing, to be so desperate, to stand there hoping to run into him. Holy God, how had this happened? Had Kitty felt this way about her young boys?
He picked up the newspaper. He was damned if he was going to worry about it. Amanda had wanted him, a lot of girls had waited for his call—girls who didn’t have double town houses or husbands who owned television networks… . But they were girls. They weren’t fifty-year-old women who had gone through a face job. … He had been stunned when he had seen her: the smooth tight skin, like Kitty’s… . Dammit, plenty of fifty-year-old rich women had face jobs—why did he have to feel guilty about Judith’s?
He leafed through the newspaper in an effort to clear his mind. Suddenly he came upon a grinning picture of Dip Nelson. The headline read: TV’S NEWEST TRANSFUSION. The interview was in Dip’s inimitable style: “TV needs new blood,” he was quoted as saying; “that’s why Robin Stone rushed to buy the new pilot Danton Miller and I created. The trouble with TV is too many people are in it who have no knowledge of real show business.”
Robin tossed the paper on the floor. He went to the phone and dialed Dip. “No more interviews,” he snapped. “You talk too much! From now on, let your show talk for you. That’s an order.”
“Okay, buddy boy. But I still think you’re wrong not to have bought the other pilot I showed you. It’s a sure winner.”
“It was a piece of shit.”
“You’re in an adorable mood tonight.”
Robin clicked the phone. He poured himself a stiff drink. By eleven o’clock he was very drunk.
Judith awoke the following morning with the dull sense that something was very wrong. Then she recalled the events of the previous day and fresh tears came to her eyes. It was nine o’clock. Gregory was going to Westbury to look at some horses. The entire day stretched before her. She tiptoed into his bedroom. He was gone. He had a reason to get up—his horses and golf—but she had nothing. She opened his medicine chest. That green pill had been a real knockout drop. She took another. Why not? At least she’d sleep through the day—it was better than lying around waiting for a call that wouldn’t come.
The pill worked quickly. She hadn’t eaten dinner last night. She thought of ringing for some tea, but her head felt heavy and she drifted off to sleep.
She heard the phone ring. It sounded like it was coming from a distance, but as she shook herself awake, the sound became clear and insistent. She groped for it… . Good Lord, it was four thirty—she had slept the day away.
“Hello, Judith.”
It was Robin. He was on the phone, calling her. And she was so heavy with drowsiness… .
“Did I disturb you?” he asked.
“No, no, I had a hectic day.” Why didn’t her head clear? “I just got home and was trying to get forty winks.”
“Then I’ll hang up.”
“No, I’m really awake.” She hoped she didn’t sound as sluggish as she felt.
“I managed to get through most of my work and I thought you might feel in the mood for a drink.”
“I’d adore a drink.”
“Fine. My place in half an hour?”
“Make it an hour,” she said quickly. “I’m expecting a few calls for some charity events.”
She staggered out of bed and rang for the maid. A pot of black coffee might help. Oh God, why had she taken that pill! He had called her! He actually wanted to see her!
She sat before her dressing table and sipped the coffee. Three cups, and still she felt light-headed. Everything seemed to be coming to her from a distance. But at least her hand was steady and she was able to apply her makeup. Her hair was a mess but she pinned on a fall. The hairpins dug into her scalp, but she had to be positive it was secure. Of course they might not go to bed, still she was taking every precaution. But she wasn’t going to push things. … He had called! He wanted to see her and that meant he’d call again.
She scribbled a note for Gregory explaining she had been called to a charity cocktail party and might be late.
She was still light-headed when she knocked on Robin’s door. He was in his shirt and had loosened his tie. He took her hands and drew her into the room. Then he kissed her gently on the lips. Suddenly with an abandon she had never known, she threw her arms around him, and kissed him long and deep. Then he took her by the hand and led her into the bedroom. She felt as if she was moving in a dream. All sounds were muted, even her movements seemed slower—yet she was without any inhibitions. She undressed slowly and stood before him. He stretched out on the bed and pulled her down. Making love with Robin suddenly seemed the most natural thing in the world. And she accepted his embrace as if she had known it all her life.
It was nine thirty when she got home. Gregory was sitting in bed watching television. She threw her arms around him. “Oh darling, I’m so sorry I missed dinner with you.”
He smiled and patted her head. “Getting back in the social swim?”
“A bit. The meeting dragged on forever, and several of us went to‘21’for a drink and then before I knew it …”
“That’s all right. Shall I ring for some dinner for you?”
She shook her head. “I had two Bloody Marys. I think I’ll just go straight to bed.”
She was hungry, but she wanted to be alone with her thoughts. And she also wanted to go right to sleep and get the evening over with, because tomorrow would bring Robin—and that was all that mattered.
In the weeks that followed, Judith’s entire life centered around the telephone. Robin usually called at eleven. To avoid any possibility of running into Jerry or Dip, Robin switched from the Lancer Bar to his new hangout, Marsh’s Steak Place. She thought of it as “our place.” And on days when he couldn’t see her, she’d walk past it—just seeing the restaurant made it all seem real. Sometimes they went to his apartment; and yesterday she had driven him to the airport because he had to make a quick trip to the Coast. She wore her new European clothes and began to plan her winter wardrobe. Gregory wanted to spend the winter at Palm Beach. Fine. She’d manage to need dental work, redecorate the house—she’d get in to town often, then she’d be able to spend entire nights with Robin. She had gotten some marvelous hormone pills from Dr. Spineck and the flashes had stopped. As for the snoring—well, she just wouldn’t sleep. How could she sleep if she had the chance to spend an entire night in Robin’s arms, and wake with him and have breakfast with him! Of course she’d have to pretend to wake before him and patch her makeup. She’d buy one of those new alligator bags that had room for everything in it… .
She hadn’t done a thing to reactivate her social life. She didn’t care about it … Robin’s phone call was the only thing that mattered. Sometimes she grew frightened at the intensity of her feeling for him. She was really in love. The frightening thing about this romance was her compulsion to see him constantly. At night she lay awake and had fantasies—Gregory would drop dead, painlessly and quickly, Robin would console her, and after a suitable time they could marry.
Marry! She sat up in bed. Marry Robin! Oh Lord, to kill off poor Gregory, even in a daydream—that was awful, horrible! But she loved Robin. Yes, she loved him—this was really it. This was the kind of love novelists wrote about. It did exist. Her past “romances” paled in comparison. Everything paled in comparison to Robin. He was her whole life. And Gregory wasn’t going to
drop dead quietly—he was getting stronger every day.
Suppose she divorced Gregory? No, that wouldn’t work, because Robin would have to quit IBC. Well, why not? He had told her he wanted to write a book—he had even finished the first draft. It was about the Great Men who made it back from failure to the top: General de Gaulle, Winston Churchill … Robin’s theory was that a true winner is the man who comes back after he’s been on top and hit rock bottom. It’s easy to make it once. But making it twice is what separates the lucky ones from the great ones.
Well, she had plenty of money. Even if she took nothing from Gregory, her stocks and securities were worth more than half a million. And the D & B report stated that Robin had real money of his own. They could go to Majorca, take a house… . She would keep everyone away from him. They’d walk the beach, sail together, and at night they’d sit before a fire and he would read his manuscript to her… .
The more she thought about it, the more obsessed she became with the idea. Suddenly it was urgent that she talk it over with Robin. He loved her—she was positive of that. They had been seeing each other constantly for six weeks. And the nights he wasn’t with her, he was home watching television. Often she would slip into her bedroom and call him. And there wasn’t a night she went to sleep without calling him to say good night—and he was always there. It was so wonderful to lie in the darkness, with Gregory safely asleep in the other room, and pour out her love to Robin. Of course he never came out and said he loved her. Robin wasn’t the type. But he always said, “Sleep well, my darling.”
She looked at her watch. It was noon—that meant it was eleven o’clock in Chicago. She had talked to Robin in Los Angeles last night. He was flying back today. The plane stopped at Chicago to refuel at four.
Suddenly she sprang out of bed. She’d be at the airport in Chicago when he arrived. They’d fly back together and she’d tell him. She scribbled a note for Gregory explaining that she had to go to Darien for the day… . Thank God Gregory was always so tired when he came home that he fell asleep right after dinner.
She arrived in Chicago at four, went to the VIP lounge and had him paged. He arrived slightly breathless, and speechless with surprise when he saw her.
She rushed to his arms. She didn’t give a damn if anyone knew —from now on they were going to be together all the time. They had a drink while the plane was refueling. For the first time she was glad that Robin had the use of Gregory’s company plane. He seemed slightly off balance at her surprise appearance but she felt he was delighted. She held off with her news until they were seated in the plane, heading for New York. Oddly enough, it was Robin who gave her the perfect opening.
He took her hands and said, “This is all very wonderful and exciting but you must never do it again. The pilot certainly recognized you, and we don’t want to hurt Gregory.”
“I care about Gregory—that’s why I want it to be quick and clean-cut. Robin, I’m going to ask Gregory for a divorce.”
He didn’t answer, but turned his attention to the clouds that floated beneath the plane.
“You want me, don’t you, Robin?”
“We have each other. Why hurt Gregory?”
“I want to marry you.”
He took her hands. “Judith, I don’t want to get married.” Then as he saw the tears rush to her eyes, he said, “I’ve never wanted to get married. To you, or to anyone.”
“Robin, it would work. You could leave IBC, you could write. I’d be with you… . We could have such a wonderful life, Robin. Please don’t say no. Just think about it. That’s all I ask —think about it!”
He smiled and took her hands. “All right, we’ll both do a lot of thinking. No more talking.” He stood up and crossed to the small bar and mixed two drinks.
“To us,” she said, as she raised her glass.
“To you, Judith. I never want to hurt you. Please believe that.”
She snuggled against him. “Oh, Robin, I wish this plane ride would never end.”
He didn’t call the following morning. At first she wasn’t concerned. She sat in the bedroom and waited. At three thirty she called him. He picked up the phone on the second ring.
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to you,” he said, “but there were several meetings this morning that I had to attend. Things piled up while I was out of town.”
She giggled. “I caught you with people in the office, right?”
“Yes.”
“How long will they be there?”
“It looks like the entire afternoon is jammed up.”
“What about my coming by at six o’clock tonight at your place?”
“Can’t. All kinds of appointments until seven, then I have to watch one of our new shows. It starts tonight.”
“I’d love to watch it with you.”
“I’ll be at a sponsor’s home. Then there’s some party or something later. May I get back to you?” He sounded slightly annoyed.
She hung up. He didn’t call back. She and Gregory had dinner alone. He was tired. Soon the Miltown caught up with him. He dozed off while he was watching the new show. She watched aware that Robin was also watching—somehow it made her feel closer to him. He was probably bored, and the party would be dull. She had been to parties given by agency men… .
The next morning she read the reviews. IBC had another winner. The Times gave it an excellent review and also mentioned the shot of adrenalin Robin Stone had given the network. But it was the afternoon papers that really upset her. There certainly had been a party—but it was no little agency party. They had taken over the Rainbow Room and every top celebrity and socialite had been invited. The center fold was filled with pictures. There was a large picture of Robin seated between a musical comedy star and a model. He was grinning as he listened to something the musical comedy star was saying. But the thing that ripped at Judith’s heart was the way his left hand was interlocked with the model’s. That gesture spoke louder than any words—they were together!
She waited a week and he didn’t call. He had to be busy—he couldn’t intentionally be ignoring her. Finally in desperation she called his private line at the office. The impersonal voice of the operator answered on the second ring and told her it was no longer a working number. A slow creeping fear nagged at her—he wouldn’t dare! He couldn’t! She dialed his private number at home. The same impersonal voice came on. “Sorry, that number is no longer in use. No, we cannot give out the new number. It is unlisted.”
Her rage made her weak. He had done this to avoid her! She burst into tears and buried her face in the pillow. That night she lay awake until dawn. She wanted to destroy him! She would make Gregory fire him!
She began her attack the following morning. “He’s taken the network from you. We’re outcasts—do you realize that? Robin Stone is getting all the invitations we should be getting!”
Gregory listened apathetically. Then he said, “Judith, I’m sixtytwo. The stock has never been higher—it’s going to go two-for-one next month. The network has never been in better shape. And I don’t intend to tamper with success. To tell you the truth, I kind of like the idea of checking in, finding everything is going well and slipping off to play golf or go to the track.”
“And what am I supposed to do while you go to the track—sit home all day? And you’re tired at night. I’m dying to go somewhere.”
“I thought you were busy with your charities. Seems you’ve been happy enough these past weeks.”
She avoided his eyes. “How many charity luncheons can I go to?” (She hadn’t been to any.) “I can’t keep doing that. I’ve forced myself to make charity dates for cocktails, but that’s all over—people are beginning to wonder whether my name means that much on a patron list! They never see us anywhere. I’m embarrassed to admit we’re not invited to all the ‘in’ parties.”
“Haven’t you had your fill of that? The same people at every party, the women all wearing name gowns to prove something to the other women?”
“No—I like going out.”
“Well, I think it’s a big bore. I thought you were finally getting some sense these last few weeks. It’s been relaxing staying in. Now you want me to fire Robin Stone because he’s invited to parties instead of us. Judith, you’re acting childish.”
“I’m not sixty-two and impotent!” she shouted.
He walked out of the room. She sat very still. Then the tears slid down her nice new tight face. Oh God, she moaned to herself. She had hurt Gregory. And for what? For Robin Stone, that’s what! She ran into her bedroom and flung herself across the bed. Oh God, Robin was gone! He had intentionally let himself be photographed with that girl. He had walked out on her—on all her dreams. She’d never hold him in her arms again, never feel his body against her own… . Her sobs came out dry and harsh. Suddenly she felt her head being stroked—Gregory was sitting beside her. “Don’t cry, honey, I’m not mad. I know you didn’t mean it.”
She turned and clung to him. “Oh, Gregory, I do love you.”
“I know you do, and just let me get my sea legs back. I’m not ready yet to tear into the aggravation of running a network. We’ll go to Palm Beach this winter. We’ll have fun—I promise you.”
She nodded slowly. “And, Greg, you’re not impotent …”
Judith made a determined effort to reactivate her social life, but she met with complete failure. Her frustration and anger almost eased the pain she felt about Robin. But there wasn’t a night that she didn’t stare at her phone and recall all the wonderful nights when she had been able to call him and whisper endearments. The memory would make her dissolve in tears and hug the pillow to muffle her sobs.
She decided to go to Palm Beach before Christmas. She didn’t dare give her usual eggnog party—everyone was going to Acapulco, the Bahamas, or to parties given by the new hostesses who suddenly seemed to dominate the social scene.
She thought about Robin with a mixture of hate and desire. And when she reached Palm Beach she sat listlessly on the patio, played solitaire and tortured herself envisioning him making love to some young and beautiful girl.
The Love Machine Page 50