My princess.
“Dark faeries have little need for sense,” the faerie called Horny agreed. I mean, Maya de Lume. God, Keegan was getting into my head.
“Let’s just finish up here,” I said, trying to shift focus. “Keegan and I have been practicing. We can duel for you, and you can tell us—” I paused, hearing a sound in the nearby forest. The sound of a foot breaking a twig. But when I listened again, I heard nothing.
“Hold on,” Kylie said. “I’ve been thinking about something.”
“Yeah?” I turned to look at her. We all did.
“Well, we’re going up against faeries who have magic and weapons, right? But we only have weapons?”
“Way to put a damper on things,” Keegan joked.
“But I’m right. You know I’m right. And I was thinking … ” Kylie looked up, into the trees. “Maybe you guys should practice climbing. To give yourselves an advantage.”
“What about you?” her brother asked.
“I’ve always wanted to ride a horse,” she said quickly, like she was afraid of being shut down. “And I think I could do it. I mean, I’ve watched videos about it and stuff. If I had a saddle with a back—”
“We could make you a saddle.” Maya de Lyre jumped in, eager to help. Eager to provide us with anything, to tend to our mortal needs.
“Really?” Kylie’s eyes lit up.
“I think it’s a decent idea,” Alexia said, which was pretty much her version of giving someone a gold star.
Kylie beamed. “That way, you know, I could ride into battle, and you guys could drop down from above. We’ll have more options when we’re fighting.”
“Dueling on horseback,” I said. “Hell yeah. Maybe tomorrow, we can—”
“Purposefully defy me?” a voice said.
The sword clattered from my hand. A creature emerged from the forest, her red hair in tangles and her eyes glittering in rage.
“Elora.”
“Well, well, well. Isn’t this cozy?” she asked. She looked like she’d been through hell.
Maybe she has.
“Listen,” I said, stumbling over to her. I wasn’t suave anymore. I was clumsy, Taylor the kid. “We were just—”
“Doing the one thing I forbade you to do?” She stepped forward, and there were leaves in her hair. That teal dress was torn. Dirt splattered her ankles.
“That’s the thing,” I said, not wanting to argue in front of everybody. “You can’t forbid me to do things.”
“He isn’t your property,” Maya de Lyre said, her golden hair sparkling like fire.
“He isn’t a pet.” Maya de Lume lowered her horns in warning.
“He is a man, and he’s perfectly capable of making his own decisions,” Maya de Livre agreed, flashing that dangerous smile.
With the three of them flanking me like soldiers, I felt strong. Capable of speaking my voice and defending myself. I knew I should’ve felt that way without their help, but damn. Elora was intimidating. Especially when she was pissed.
Plus, in spite of the anger, it was taking every bit of restraint to keep from wrapping her in my arms. Kissing her. Saying screw it and just doing what she wanted.
I needed her to love me, but I needed her to respect me more. Needed her to respect me first.
I stepped away from the faeries. “Look, you don’t have to like it,” I said. “Frankly, I don’t like the idea of you going up against Naeve again. But I respect you, and I have faith in you, so I’m not trying to stop you.”
“Taylor—”
“Just listen,” I said, reaching for her hands. To my surprise, she let me take them. “I know I went against your orders, or instructions, or whatever, but you have to understand it was wrong to tell me that. You should’ve at least talked to me about it before you decided I couldn’t fight.”
“I was only trying to protect you,” she said, and her eyes didn’t flash with fury anymore. Now the look bordered on despair. I had to remind myself that she’d only just returned from the Unseelie Court, and anything could’ve happened there.
This wasn’t just about me.
“I know,” I said, stepping closer. Now it was just me and her in our own little world. It was how it should be, even if it wouldn’t last. “I know, because it kills me not to be able to protect you every second. But we have to be able to trust each other, if this thing between us is ever going to be more than an escape for you.”
“Is that what you think?” Her gaze flicked to the faeries behind us, like she thought maybe they’d been putting ideas into my head. But they hadn’t. I could come up with these insecurities on my own, thank you very much.
“I didn’t, until you made plans without me,” I said, hating the sound of it. Hating the truth of it. “You keep making plans without me.”
To my surprise, Elora came up close and kissed me. Right in front of everyone, she kissed me. “Not anymore,” she said, squeezing my hands. “Let’s take a walk.”
10
ElorA
Taylor and I bid our friends adieu and traveled to the top of a hill overlooking the forest. From here, we could see where the borderlands split the terrain into green and black. In the Unseelie Court, everything grew darker: trees, insects, plants.
Faeries.
I could only appreciate the difference now that I had left.
“Come and sit beside me,” I said, settling onto the ground.
When Taylor sat down, his hand immediately twined with mine. He must’ve known what I knew, that these moments had to be stolen when they could. But what happened next could determine whether we’d be able to keep stealing these moments or lose them entirely.
I took a deep breath. “Taylor, I don’t want you to fight in this battle.”
“That’s not your decision. I—”
“I know.”
He looked up at me. His hair was wild and his eyes were bright. Gold and green, like the forest below.
I studied those eyes as I said, “I don’t like it, but I know it. All this time, I have been trying to protect you, believing it was my place. But—”
“But?”
I sighed. “Every time I hear the faeries, bright or dark, speak of mortals, it makes my skin crawl. I cannot think like them, if I am to be with you. You were right about that.”
“I was right?” His face broke into a grin. “Can I get that in writing?”
“Taylor, please do not joke. Something terrible has happened.” I tried to steady my voice. “Something terrible, which will allow you to enter the Unseelie Court unchallenged.”
“What? Did hell freeze over?”
No, it has always been cold there, I thought. Then, quickly and quietly, I recounted what had happened at the borderlands.
For a moment, Taylor was silent. Finally, he said, “You’ll sneak me in through an underground tunnel?”
“Yes,” I said, squeezing his hand. “Together, we will travel up the mountain, and when we arrive at the palace, the battle will begin. My mother will never have to know—”
“And you’ll let me fight?” Taylor broke in. “You won’t try to stop me?”
I swallowed, trying not to see blood spattered across his chest. Trying not to see the light going out of those eyes. “I will not make that decision for you. But I think it would be best if you acted as a guard—”
“Ah, so I can go to the battle. To watch.”
“I’ll station you in the surrounding trees. You’ll be able to use bows and arrows, should you choose to.”
“But—”
“But nothing, sweet.” I reached up to touch his face. He turned, kissing each of my fingers slowly. “This arrangement is no slight to you. However strong you are, physical strength is no match for magic. You will need to rely on your cunning, and keep your wits about you always. If someone sh
ould come for you, your mind will be the thing to save you. Do you understand me?”
“Yes,” he said. He must’ve understood how hard this was for me, to not do everything in my power to protect him.
But I would not keep him in a cage. “There is something else, and this is important.”
“What?”
“I saw the way you looked when you believed you’d killed Naeve with that branch. I know how much of your strength is born of morality. Of compassion. If you enter into this battle, you are agreeing to defend yourself—at least yourself—at all costs. You will see death, Taylor, and you may be the cause of it. I need you to deeply consider the consequences of this, not only to others, but to yourself. The taking of a life affects the taker in an indescribable way. It is profound and everlasting. It will always be a part of you.”
Silence. I was struck with the quietness, not only of the land below, but in the trees above. For once, it seemed we were alone.
“I understand.” Taylor’s voice felt loud in this quiet space. I heard it reverberate off the edges of the world.
“You will not understand until the blood stains your hands.”
“I know, but I understand what you’re saying, and it’s worth it to me.”
“We have until the fifteenth. That’s ten days from now.”
“That’s it?” He whistled, looking out across the land. “Just ten?”
I nodded. “I would use that time to think on it.”
“All right.”
More silence, deeper this time. When he said, “So … ” I jumped a little. Another time, my wings might’ve rustled at my surprise.
But not now.
“So, what?” I asked. My face must’ve fallen, because he reached out to touch my arm. I inhaled at the feel of him, and a dull pain unfurled in my back. I told myself it was simply a result of my blood rushing faster.
“So, how did you pull it off?” he asked.
“Pull it off?” I looked to the border, confused.
“I mean, your wings. How did you get them back?”
I lowered my head. Shame pulsed through me, hot and fast. I knew it wasn’t my fault that Naeve had taken my wings, knew I had made the right choice in the Bright Queen’s bower. Still, there was a part of me that felt so embarrassed by the loss, the mutilation, that I couldn’t imagine ever lifting the glamour from my back.
“Elora? I … oh God.”
I glanced up to see Taylor’s face had fallen. I was peering into a mirror of grief and despair.
“I didn’t … ” I began, swallowing. “I couldn’t … ”
“Oh God.” He reached for my hands, but I pulled away from him. I couldn’t bear to be touched in this moment. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.
“I didn’t want you to know. I thought if I shielded you from it … ”
You wouldn’t be sickened by me.
Disappointed.
Sickened.
“I’m such an idiot,” he said, shaking his head. “I let myself believe you got them back. I just assumed—”
“I understand. But magic is limited, and if I were to attempt such a thing, I would spend the time healing that I need to spend fighting.”
He touched my face, surprising me. “I would take your place in battle.”
I almost lost control then. Almost cried. Almost kissed him. So many desires flooded through me, and slipped away. “I know,” I said softly. “But none of you will. I alone must stand against Naeve.”
“Are you in pain?” he asked after a minute. That gaze was intense, and it made me want to curl into myself. Made me want to hide.
“They hurt from time to time,” I said, avoiding the entire truth. How could I admit when my wings hurt the most? I could barely admit it to myself.
“Can I look at them?” he asked, his words feeding my fears. But my heart responded, as it often did with him, and I let it take the lead for the moment.
“Yes.” I held my breath. Even as he crawled behind me, and I ripped the glamour away, I hardly breathed. I hated his curiosity. No, I hated myself. The tattered remains of me. It must’ve been horrible to look at me.
“Taylor?” I said after an eternal moment.
He didn’t speak. Instead, he ran his fingers along the small of my back, far below where my wings had been. It hurt. With each brush of his fingertips, the pain pulsed. But I didn’t stop him.
“What do you see?” I asked, suddenly aware of the darkness. It must’ve been so different for him. Humans weren’t exactly nocturnal creatures. I unleashed a soft glow around me, mortified and vulnerable under his gaze. Still, I couldn’t stop myself from letting him see me.
He inhaled sharply.
I dimmed the light, humiliated.
“No, don’t,” he said. “I think I saw something.”
“What?”
“It’s hard to explain. You know how new growth grows out of trees that have been cut down?”
“Yes?” I couldn’t think about what his words meant. Couldn’t allow myself to think.
His hands trailed around my waist. I had to grab them, to stop him.
“Taylor, it hurts.”
“It does? I’m sorry. I didn’t think that would hurt—”
My breath came out in short gasps. I was terrified to tell him. But I had no choice, now. “It’s not the wings. It is, but it isn’t. It’s you.” I twisted to look at him. “It hurts when you touch me.”
“Only?”
“No. But it hurts the worst.”
His eyes closed. My words must have crushed him. But when his eyes opened, he did not look pained. He was almost smiling. “Wait,” he said.
“What?”
“Maybe it’s not what you think.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it’s pretty dark here, but I could swear, when I touch you, it’s like … it’s almost like I can see them growing.”
I waited a beat. Two. Three.
“How certain are you?” I asked. Could it be true? Was it even possible? My heart rose like a wave, flooding my chest with warmth.
“Not very,” he admitted. “Like I said, it’s dark. My eyes could be playing tricks on me. But—”
“Then why would you say it?” I asked, suddenly angry. My heart crashed on the rocks.
“I—”
“Why would you give me hope when you know how hard this is for me? You have no right to do this.” I jerked away from him.
“I’m sorry,” he said, following me. It was as if he couldn’t help it, as if gravity drew him to me. I knew the feeling, usually. “I’m so sorry. I thought you’d want to know,” he said. “I know how important flight is to you.”
“Was,” I said bitterly.
“What?”
“It’s over now, Taylor. You have to let it go.”
“Why should I let it go? If there’s even a possibility—Hey,” he said as I crawled farther away from him. “Where are you going?”
I couldn’t stay there any longer. I couldn’t be close to him, couldn’t have him looking at me. “Why are you doing this?” I demanded. “Why are you focusing on the one thing I cannot do, instead of all the things I can?”
“Hey—hey, listen.” He reached for me, stopping just short of my waist. “I would never do that. I mean, if I thought for a second that flying again was impossible for you. If I even thought you thought that … ” He looked at me, and his gaze pierced into the deepest parts of me. Past my anger, my hurt. Down into my hope. “But you don’t think that, do you? You still believe there’s a chance, I can see it. I can feel it. Tell me I’m wrong.”
He waited. But I couldn’t answer.
“Listen to me.” He put his hand on my leg, so lightly. I thought, for an instant, that he was being careful with me because I’d been hurt. But
then I remembered that he’d always been careful with me, never pushed too hard. It was just the kind of person he was. “If it hurts you to hear me talk this way, I’ll stop. I’ll never bring it up again.”
I lowered my head, ashamed that he had seen my vulnerability. “Thank you,” I began, but he broke in again, gently.
“But let me say one thing, one time. Please? And trust that I say it because I believe in the magic of this place and I think it might help you. And if that possibility exists, I want to give it to you. I want, at least, to try.”
I lifted my head. I felt heavy, weighted down with fear, with apprehension. But I was finally learning to trust him. I couldn’t go back on that so quickly. “Speak,” I entreated.
“What if it doesn’t hurt to be near me because I’m bad for you? What if it hurts because my love for you is speeding up the healing? Or even … helping them grow.”
I inhaled slowly. The possibility was too much for me. But even more than that … “You love me?”
The look in his eyes was so sincere, I almost cried. “Are you kidding? I think I’ve loved you from the beginning. I know that sounds crazy, but … I knew you. Even before you told me who you were, I knew you. And I love you more than anything in the world.”
Tears stung in my eyes and I didn’t blink them away. I’d never wanted to cry in front of anyone. But that wasn’t the strangest thing. At the sound of his confession—the mention of his love—a stinging pain shot through my back.
Could he be right? Is there any way … ?
But maybe it wasn’t so impossible. Love had always been the greatest healer. And here in Faerie, magic took physical form.
“And you would do this for me? You would let me … use you?” I asked.
“Oh my God, use me. Yes.” He was laughing. I wanted to laugh too, but I couldn’t. Our situation was too dangerous. The ease with which I could hurt him … the ease with which he could hurt me … did I dare risk it?
“Taylor.”
He grinned, taking my hands. “You wouldn’t be using me.”
“Yes, I would.”
The Last Faerie Queen Page 9