by Deb Kastner
He was a father now.
* * *
This was pointless.
Why was she even bothering to fill out an eight-page employment application at Haven’s local nursing home and hospice? Carolina already knew she wasn’t going to get the job. Probably not even an interview. She barely dared hope, and yet she had to try.
Thankfully, she didn’t have to worry about Matty while she searched in vain for employment in the medical field. She and Katie were becoming good friends, and Katie had offered to watch Matty at the boys ranch office while Carolina went job hunting, as futile as it no doubt would be.
When had she become a cup-half-empty type of person?
Probably when her cup drained to its dregs and she hadn’t seen a drop of liquid to fill it again.
No amount of previous background or additional skill sets could overcome the thorn in her side—or her knee, to be more accurate. She’d already been turned down by every other medical facility in the area, for the same reason she’d lost her job at the hospital in Colorado.
The need to be able to catch a fainting patient or respond to a slip and fall never even used to be a consideration for Carolina, much less a problem. She’d always kept herself in good shape with a gym membership that she actually used.
But then she’d made the mistake of going on a weekend ski trip with her roommate, Geena Walker. In hindsight, why she’d thought she ought to learn how to ski was beyond her comprehension. To be honest, she hadn’t even really been all that interested in the sport. At the time it had seemed like a good idea, a fun way to take a short vacation and spend a weekend trying something new. She was living in Colorado, after all. Snow meant skiing, right?
She’d taken an hour’s worth of quick instructional lessons, even though it was humiliating to be in a class of half-pint children who effortlessly picked up the necessary skills ten times faster than she did.
Afterward, she’d successfully skied the bunny slope a couple of times and thought she was ready to tackle a beginner’s run.
It was easy, Geena had assured her. Simple as pie, she’d said. All Carolina had to do was ski from one side of the hill to the other in a diagonal fashion, slowly zigzagging her way down the mountainside.
Her first clue should have been when she slipped and nearly fell getting off the lift at the top of the mountain. But she’d chalked that up to being off balance and hit the slope.
Literally.
Neither Geena nor her ski instructor had mentioned what Carolina was supposed to do when her skis became crossed in the front and she went flipping head over heels for who knew how many yards down the snow-packed ski run.
All she remembered was not being able to breathe and feeling as if she were drowning in the snow, blinded by the icy white powder that had stolen inside her supposedly leak-proof goggles.
The next thing she knew, an entire crew of very young men sporting bright red jackets with white crosses embroidered on them surrounded her, insisting that they put her on a backboard and place a brace around her neck. She’d tried to tell them that she was a nurse and it wasn’t necessary to overkill the situation, but they apparently wanted to practice their rescuing skills on her.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, there was the humiliating turn down the hillside with all six of her escorts, while the regular skiers—the coordinated ones who didn’t make themselves into human avalanches—watched on with interest.
As it happened, her back and neck were fine. Her left knee, however, not so much.
Then had come the surgery, rehabilitation and getting summarily dismissed from her job because of her inability to lift fifty pounds. And those doctor’s orders weren’t going anywhere any time soon.
Nope. They were permanent.
Which meant she was in permanent trouble.
Bringing her thoughts back to the present, she sighed under her breath and scribbled her references on the employment application. Even if she already knew what the answer would be, she had to try.
Now that she had Wyatt breathing down her neck to spend time with Matty, it was more important than ever that she provide her son with a stable home, not only for his sake but to prove to Wyatt that she was able to make it on her own as a single mother.
That she didn’t need his help.
Though she had started with every medical facility in the area, she didn’t have time to be picky about where she worked. Even though she owned her great-uncle’s cabin free and clear, she and Matty still needed to eat, and she had to pay to keep the lights on and put gas in the car.
Unfortunately for her, she wasn’t really qualified for any other kind of work besides nursing. All of her education and expertise were the medical field. Retail or fast food might be an option in a pinch, but they didn’t pay enough for her and Matty to subsist on in the long run. She needed a living wage, not a teenager’s part-time after-school job. She supposed she could try to switch gears and become a medical receptionist, but her typing skills were atrocious and she’d never quite understood the medical filing system in the business classes she’d had to take in college.
Carolina closed her eyes and said a silent prayer. She’d been praying a lot more often recently, asking the Lord for guidance, not only in her career, but in her life. And now, more than anything, she needed direction on what she should do about her relationship—or lack of one—with Wyatt Harrow.
She was just about out of options.
Please, dear Lord, don’t make me have to beg.
Carolina was handing in her application at the front desk when, to her surprise, she spotted Wyatt out of the corner of her eye. She would have recognized his long, confident gait anywhere, not to mention his handsome profile.
Though he’d come in through the main glass doors of the nursing home, he clearly hadn’t seen her. He was walking down a hallway with his head down and his hands crammed into the front pockets of his jeans.
Even at a distance, and even though she couldn’t see the expression on his face, Carolina could tell he was troubled from his posture alone. She’d seen that look before, when his gran had been having so much trouble.
It was none of her business. She should leave now, before he turned around and recognized her. That would be the sensible thing to do. The smart thing.
But her days of doing the sensible thing were long behind her.
Instead, curiosity got the better of her and she followed him down the hallway, taking care to stay a few steps behind him and ready to duck into a doorway if he looked back.
Happily, he didn’t. He took a right, then an immediate left, and then he disappeared into a room on the right side of the hallway.
Carolina paused. What Wyatt was doing had nothing to do with her, but—
She had to look.
She just had to.
She continued down the hall straight past where Wyatt had gone, quickening her pace as she glanced into the room. She felt silly, like a teenage girl stalking her first crush around the halls in high school.
When she saw Wyatt sitting in a chair next to an old woman’s bedside, her heart swelled and then melted like warm chocolate.
Of course.
Wyatt was visiting his gran. No wonder he’d looked so burdened. Eva Harrow had clearly gone downhill from when Carolina had last seen her.
Carolina was more than a little bit familiar with Wyatt’s grandmother, having been the old woman’s home nurse for several months three years ago, just before Carolina had left Haven.
That was how she’d gotten to know Wyatt and when she had fallen in love with him. He clearly cared so much for his grandmother—such an attractive trait in a man.
Eva had accidentally plunged down a set of porch steps and had broken her hip. At that time in her life, it had become clear that her dementia was slowly overtaking her. W
yatt had needed Carolina’s round-the-clock help to keep Eva safe, but at that time he wouldn’t even consider putting her in a nursing home where she could get the kind of medical assistance she needed on a more permanent basis.
Eva was also—indirectly—the reason Matty had been conceived. One evening a few months into Carolina’s work for the Harrows, Wyatt’s gran had taken a sudden turn for the worse and spiked a high fever. She had ended up in the ICU with pneumonia and little chance of recovering. In his grief, Wyatt had turned to Carolina for comfort.
Carolina breathed deeply as memories flooded over her. Eva had managed to fight off a bad infection, although it was touch and go there for a while. She was one of the strongest people Carolina had ever had the privilege of knowing, but the woman had been ninety-six at the time of her injury and there was only so much recovery she could make, especially considering how quickly her dementia was changing her world for the worse.
But Wyatt hadn’t been ready to let her go then—or even now, apparently. Her heart welled as she watched him interact with her. He was holding Eva’s hand and speaking in a loud, animated tone of voice. Carolina was fairly certain from Eva’s blank-eyed, slack-featured expression that she did not recognize Wyatt at all.
Still, she appeared to be listening to him intently and wasn’t pulling away from his touch, so it was at least the semblance of a good day for her.
“Did I tell you about the donkey Johnny and I rescued? You remember I told you about Johnny, right? He’s the teenager I’m mentoring. Anyway, the whole thing with the donkey was so funny. We pulled him out of the mud bog he was stuck in, and I kid you not, Gran, that animal grinned from ear to ear when we freed him. A donkey smiling. Can you imagine? And you should have heard him braying a thank-you.”
Wyatt laughed at his own story, then paused, his expression drawing serious.
“Johnny really means a lot to me. I feel like I can help him, you know?” He scoffed and shook his head. “Life doesn’t always work out the way we plan, huh, Gran? I thought by now I would be overseas somewhere, helping people out there, but instead I—well, there’s Johnny. And you, of course. I’d never leave you. And—” Wyatt’s voice caught in his throat and he paused.
And then he glanced up.
His gaze locked with Carolina’s, and her adrenaline spiked, rushing through her.
She’d been made.
It was her own fault, of course, for standing in the middle of the doorway gawking at him, eavesdropping on his time with his gran. But that didn’t stop embarrassment from flooding her cheeks.
“Carolina.”
“Eh?” Eva said, clearly confused as she turned her head to look at Carolina.
“I—er—was just passing by and I thought I heard your voice.” Carolina cringed inwardly. Now there was a lame excuse if she’d ever heard one.
“You were just strolling through the nursing home for no reason?”
“Well, no. Not exactly.”
“What, then? Exactly?” He paused and narrowed his gaze on her, appraising her. “You weren’t following me around, now, were you?”
She froze and she was sure she was gaping.
He laughed.
She let out a breath, glad he’d only been kidding about the idea of her following him around.
Even if, technically, she kind of was.
She didn’t want to have to explain to him that she was still looking for work. It was so incredibly important that he perceive her as having a stable, successful life, even if in reality her existence was anything but. She didn’t want to give herself away.
“Mind your manners, young man,” Eva scolded. She shook a finger at Wyatt and then turned her gaze on Carolina. “Did you bring me any water?”
“I’d be happy to get you a glass of water.” Her emotions overflowed with love for Eva. It broke her heart that she’d ever had to leave the woman in the first place. But what choice had she had?
And worse, she’d assumed that Eva would have passed on by now. She hadn’t even asked Wyatt about her. Guilt singed her at the thought.
Wyatt caught her eyes and briefly shook his head.
“I have a case of bottled water in the trunk,” he explained. “I always fill up her mini fridge when I visit. I have to unscrew all the lids so she can open them herself whenever she gets thirsty.”
“I’m thirsty,” Eva repeated, although she didn’t appear to be following Wyatt and Carolina’s conversation.
“See if there’s a bottle left in the fridge,” Wyatt suggested. “Gran, I’ve brought you your favorite kind of chocolate. Dark chocolate truffles. Do you want to see?”
While Wyatt helped his grandmother unwrap a piece of candy, Carolina went to the fridge for a bottle of water. She took off the lid and handled the bottle to Eva.
“How long has she been living here?”
Wyatt’s brow lowered. “Since just after you disappeared. I couldn’t find a home-care nurse she liked after you left. She compared every one of them to you, and then she would scare ’em all off within the first week or so.”
He wasn’t pointing a finger of blame at her, although he had every right to do just that, but he appeared troubled by the memory, and Carolina was sorry she’d brought it up.
“Her one hundredth birthday is near the end of this month,” he said, still looking disturbed but trying to move on. “I’ve been thinking about throwing her a big birthday bash so all her friends and neighbors can wish her a happy one, but I’m not sure I should. I can never anticipate if she’s going to have a good day. She probably wouldn’t recognize any of the guests, and it might agitate her instead of making her happy.”
“Oh, you should do it,” Carolina enthused, unable to help herself. “Living to be one hundred years old is an enormous accomplishment and it should be celebrated, not only by her, but by her friends. Even if she doesn’t recognize anyone, I’m sure she’ll enjoy knowing so many people care about her. I’ll help you plan the party if you’d like.”
His jaw tightened and he shook his head. “How would you know what Gran would like?” he snapped and then quickly lowered his voice when Eva frowned at him. “You left us—her—high and dry.”
He might as well have slapped her face. His words had the same impact.
“No. You’re right. I’m sorry. I’m sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. Forget I said anything.”
For all she knew, he might be able to forget about what she’d said, and maybe even forget about her, Carolina thought, her gut tightening in misery.
But she wouldn’t. Three years ago, when she’d left Haven, she’d walked away from her heart, her home and her life.
Now she had returned, only to find her life immeasurably more complicated.
Was there anything left for her here?
Chapter Three
Wyatt wasn’t convinced he should have welcomed Carolina into the room. Maybe he should have tossed her out on her ear. He wasn’t even quite clear on why she was there in the first place. He couldn’t believe she would take to following him around. More likely that she was here applying for a job.
He watched her speaking to Gran, rearranging the old woman’s pillows and locating the television remote for her. Carolina was good at her job. No—she was excellent. Gran was relaxed and responsive, better than she usually was around Wyatt or any of the other nurses at the facility.
Wyatt hated the disease that had eroded his precious gran’s mind, leaving her perpetually confused about not only where she was, but who she was. That was the nature of the beast. It didn’t seem fair that his intelligent, lively gran could be reduced to this shell of a woman.
He visited her once a week, on Monday mornings. At first, after he’d made the painful decision to place Gran in the nursing home, he’d tried to visit every other day or so. But more
often than not, his appearance upset her or sent her into a flurry of mindless activity, so he’d eventually lessened his visits. It hurt his heart, but this wasn’t about him.
Most of the time when he visited, Gran didn’t recognize him at all. Sometimes she thought he was Grandpa George, or Wyatt’s father, Ian. Occasionally, she was completely lucid and knew exactly who he was. Sometimes, like today, she had no idea what his name was but sensed he was connected to her in some way.
And then there were the times he hated the most, when his presence disturbed her, or she would beg for him to take her home with him. He didn’t know whether or not to be thankful that she recognized him less and less frequently. He didn’t like to see her unhappy.
Always, it was an emotional roller coaster for Wyatt. He knew he had been blessed to have his grandmother with him as long as he had, but the thought of the world without her in it still saddened and pained him.
“Does she like any specific soap operas or game shows?” Carolina asked, pointing the remote toward the television and clicking through the channels at random.
“She likes those court shows,” he replied. “You know, the ones with the judges pounding their gavels, where people fight over stupid stuff?”
“Right.” Carolina turned to a channel where a black-robed judge was sitting behind a bench barking out a sentence to a miserable plaintiff and an elated defendant.
“There you go, Eva,” Carolina said, her voice soft and affectionate. “How’s that for you? The judges are funny, aren’t they?”
Gran reached out and patted Carolina’s cheek. “You are such a sweetheart.”
Wyatt’s stomach tightened. He used to believe that, too. It galled him to think he could be so wrong about a person, especially as close as he’d thought he’d been to Carolina.
He must be the worst judge of character ever. He should just stick to the animals. At least with them a man always knew where he stood.
Animals were loyal.
But Carolina?
She’d certainly put on a good show for him three years ago, when they’d been dating and when he’d believed he was in love with her. She was a consummate actress—he could say that about her. He’d bought her performance hook, line and sinker, believing that she was the sweetest, kindest, most beautiful woman in the world.