by Deb Kastner
Which only served to complicate matters even worse. She had no idea what to do with Wyatt’s relationship with Matty. She only knew she didn’t want her son to be hurt, as she had been by her own father, a man who was out of her life more than he was in. He’d pop in for a weekend or two, take her out someplace fun so she’d think well of him, and then disappear for months. She often thought it would have been better for her had he simply not been there at all.
“Please, sit,” he said, plucking a pile of file folders off a metal folding chair.
Wyatt’s office was no more than an offshoot of the barn on his home property, where he kept not only his own animals, but any under his care who needed close observation. The L-shaped cherrywood desk fit into the back corner, flanked on one side by a metal filing cabinet and on the other by a printer.
Stacks of papers and invoices covered every flat surface in the room. It looked like he hadn’t filed since his administrative assistant had left.
He lifted his Stetson and slicked a hand back through his black hair.
“I had no idea I would have to deal with so much paperwork when I became a vet. It looks like I should have minored in accounting. I keep meaning to get through this mess, but every time I try, I get called away on an emergency. Or I decide I’d rather take the day off and stream a show on television,” he joked.
Her forced chuckle sounded like a witch’s cackle and she cut it off short.
He took a seat on a swivel chair that looked as if it had seen better days.
“So what’s up?” He leaned forward and rested his forearms on his knees, clasping his hands in front of him. “Is Matty faring all right with the move? I know it can be a little disconcerting to find yourself in new surroundings with a bunch of strangers.”
“Yes, he’s—” Carolina began, but then she shook her head and blew out a breath. “No. He’s not fine.”
Wyatt jerked to his feet, concern clouding his features. He looked ready to do—something. What? Climb aboard his trusty white steed and ride in to save the day?
Unfortunately, that was exactly what she was about to ask him to do.
“Wait. There’s no cause for worry.” She held up her hands and waved him back to his seat. “I’m sorry. This isn’t coming out right. There’s nothing wrong with Matty. That is—”
Her sentence drifted off into silence. This was way harder than she’d anticipated, and she’d already been certain it was going to be excruciatingly painful.
“I haven’t been able to find a job,” she forced out. “And it’s not for want of looking.”
She dropped her gaze. She just couldn’t stand to look into Wyatt’s eyes and admit she was a failure as a mom. To see the I told you so in his stare.
“I see.” He leaned back and crossed his arms.
“Employment as a nurse, I mean. I’m still actively looking for something—anything, at this point, really—and I’m sure it won’t be long before a job of some sort comes up, but in the meantime—”
“You’d like me to help you support Matty.”
Wyatt could certainly be blunt when he wanted to be. She felt like he’d just stabbed her in the heart.
Repeatedly.
“Carolina.” His voice was surprisingly tender. She didn’t know what she had expected.
Anger. Frustration. Disgust, even.
Just not this.
She couldn’t handle the gentleness that made him so good as a vet. It was the one emotion she had no armor strong enough to resist.
He tipped up her chin with his index finger.
“I will give Matty—and you—whatever you need.”
“Don’t worry about me,” she said, her stubborn streak rising despite knowing that this whole meeting depended on her remaining humble and taking whatever Wyatt dished out.
“No, Carolina. That’s not how this goes. I’m going to help both of you, any way I can. I have total confidence that you’ll find a decent job and get back on your feet in no time.”
“You do?” she asked through a dry throat.
“I do. But whether or not you’re employed, I am Matty’s father. I have both a right and a responsibility to contribute to his support, financially and in every other way.”
“I never meant for you—”
“To find out I had a son?” he cut in brusquely.
“That’s not what I was going to say.”
“Good. Then it’s settled.”
He crouched down before the bottom drawer of the file cabinet and opened it. She couldn’t see what he was doing, but there were several metallic clicks and bumps.
After a moment, he stood up and turned around, his hand now full of hundred-dollar bills. Carolina guessed he held close to two thousand dollars.
Her eyes widened, and she was fairly certain she was gaping. When she had asked for help, she hadn’t meant two months of total support. A small loan was all.
“Wyatt, I can’t take this.”
“Of course you can. It’s only a couple thousand dollars. I’m sure I’m further behind on my child support payments than that.”
“No. You’ve got this all wrong. I don’t expect you to try to make up for—”
He held up a hand and laughed drily.
“That was a joke. Not a very good one, apparently.”
He reached for her hand and tucked the bills into her palm, closing her fingers around the money. When he pulled back, his elbow hit a stack of invoices, sending papers floating to the floor in every direction.
Wyatt groaned. “Oh, great. And wouldn’t you know those were the ones I already had in a semblance of order.”
Despite herself, Carolina chuckled.
“I think maybe you need a little help.”
“More than a little,” he agreed, and then his eyes lit up and he cocked his head at her.
He paused for so long that she shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.
“Can you file?”
“Can’t everyone?” She raised her eyebrows. “Unless you’re talking about medical filing, which is a whole other thing. But regular filing? That’s just a matter of knowing your ABCs, right? And I’ve been consistently practicing them with Matty since the time he was six months old. I’m officially a pro.”
“You’re hired.”
“I’m—” she sputtered. “Excuse me, what?”
“You’re hired,” he repeated, his grin widening. “It’s the perfect solution.”
“What’s perfect?” She wasn’t following his train of thought at all, and from the gratified expression on Wyatt’s face, she wasn’t certain she wanted to know what he was thinking.
“The answer to both of our dilemmas. I need help organizing my pathetic excuse for an office, and you need a job. I’ll pay you the going rate for an administrative assistant and you won’t be accepting charity.”
“Yes, but—”
She’d been going to protest that she was thoroughly unqualified for the position, but hadn’t she just this morning decided she would take whatever she could get? And really, how hard could it be?
In truth, working as his administrative assistant wasn’t a half-bad idea. If it were anyone except Wyatt, she knew she would be jumping all over this opportunity.
But it was Wyatt who was offering.
Could she really work alongside him as if they had no past together? As if they didn’t share a son?
Could she manage the emotions she knew would sneak up on her when she wasn’t paying attention?
“I’ll sweeten the pot.” He looked enthusiastic, maybe even a little smug.
Her eyes narrowed on him. He was making this way too easy for her.
“How?”
“Have you made arrangements for Matty’s day care yet?” He crossed his a
rms and leaned his hip against the desk, looking casually at ease.
Which was the exact opposite of how she was feeling right now. Her shoulders tightened as he pointed out yet another of her recent failings.
“I’m working on it,” she admitted cautiously.
Could his grin get any wider?
Her frown deepened, directly mirroring the spreading of his smile.
“You can bring Matty with you to the office. You won’t have child care expenses, and I’ll be able to spend some time getting to know my son better. What do you say, Carolina?”
He rocked forward in anticipation of her answer. He looked as hopeful as a boy on his first fishing trip, holding his pole and waiting for a bite.
What could she say?
Wyatt deserved to know his son. She knew that. But how could she protect Matty’s heart if Wyatt was ultimately going to leave him behind?
On the other hand, she needed the job and someone to watch Matty. In his determination to get to know his son, Wyatt had offered her the answer to both dilemmas. At least this way she would be in the room to supervise their interactions.
But even knowing it was the right thing to do, she still had to force the words through tight lips.
“I think we’d better set up that playdate.”
Chapter Four
Wyatt had never been so nervous in his life. He’d arrived at the park fifteen minutes early so he could observe other parents on the playground interacting with their children.
Being slung so unexpectedly into fatherhood would be enough to rattle any man, but Wyatt was an only child who had been raised by his grandmother. As a boy he’d hung out with animals more than people. What he didn’t know about toddlers could fill an encyclopedia set.
The only kids he’d ever spent any time with were of the baby goat variety. What if he messed up with Matty? What if he didn’t have what it took to be a dad?
He watched a young father spotting his little girl down a slide. The child was giggling and her dad looked completely relaxed and carefree.
Wyatt was neither. He felt sick to his stomach and like he was about to jump out of his skin.
Ready, set, go.
Whether he was ready or not.
Carolina waved as she approached, holding a squirming Matty with her other hand. Matty had seen the playground and was clearly eager to unload some energy on it. The moment she let the boy loose, he barreled toward a spring-loaded rocket, climbed aboard and pumped back and forth with as much force as his little arms and legs could manage.
Carolina still appeared reticent about this meeting, but he supposed he should have expected that. He had no regrets about hiring her for his office, although maybe she did, after she’d returned home and had had time to think about it.
In his mind, anything that meant he would have more time with his son was a good thing, even if he was still struggling to completely wrap his mind around the idea of Carolina now also being a permanent part of his life—at least, he hoped that would be true. He still worried that she had no intention of staying in Haven permanently, that he would get to know Matty just in time for her to take him away again.
For the first few minutes, Carolina said nothing to him at all, just folded her arms as if she were chilled and silently watched Matty as he moved from the rocket to a small tower. Made for the younger children, there were no holes or gaps for them to fall into. It had steps rather than climbing bars and a small straight slide, compared to the long spiral slide the larger tower held.
For the moment, Matty appeared safe enough on his own. Wyatt thought maybe he ought to be doing something, interacting with Matty in some way like he’d seen the father of the little girl doing, but he had no idea what to do, and Carolina wasn’t giving him any guidance.
After what seemed like forever, Matty dashed back in their direction.
“Swing, Mama.”
Carolina glanced at Wyatt and her mouth curved into a grin. “You want to take this?”
Wyatt tried to swallow but his throat was too dry.
“S-sure,” he stammered.
“Come on, Matty. Mr. Wyatt is going to push you on the swing, okay?”
Matty didn’t appear to care who pushed him, as long as he got to swing.
“Use one of the toddler swings—the ones that support him around the middle.”
He was grateful Carolina was finally offering him a little instruction instead of leaving him to stumble his way through his first interaction with his son. Maybe this wouldn’t be so difficult, after all.
“May I pick you up, little man?” he asked Matty, holding out his hands to the boy.
He half expected Matty to run in the other direction, cower behind Carolina’s legs or jump into her arms and hide his head in her shoulder as he had the first time they’d met, but this time Matty didn’t hesitate. He climbed right into Wyatt’s arms without a protest.
Wyatt couldn’t help but smile as he threaded Matty’s plump legs into the seat of the swing.
He was playing with his son!
The emotions stirring in his chest were beyond imagining. Love and pride dueled for precedence at the front of the pack, but there were so many other things, too. Was this how it would always feel when he looked at Matty?
He gave the swing a little push, then another, careful not to go beyond a couple of feet in either direction.
“Higher! Higher!” Matty called impatiently, pumping his legs and rocking back and forth in the swing.
Wyatt’s gaze shifted to Carolina.
She chuckled and nodded.
He pushed a little harder, but Matty continued to beg for more.
“You’re going to have to do better than that,” Carolina said. “He’s a real daredevil. He likes to go as high as the swing will carry him.”
“Isn’t that dangerous?”
Her eyes widened, as if she’d never even considered the possibility. Maybe she hadn’t, and he was being foolish. He didn’t have the built-in daddy sensor that he assumed other men had.
“I don’t think so,” she responded slowly. “The chair keeps him from tipping over, and as you can see, he has a good grip on the chains. So unless you’re intending to swing him in a three-hundred-sixty-degree circle, I don’t think we have to worry about him falling out.”
Heat traveled up Wyatt’s neck and into his face. He was an idiot. Why hadn’t he noticed the way the parents around him were acting? One young woman was only half paying attention as she pushed her child on a nearby swing while simultaneously texting on her cell phone.
No one looked alarmed or nervous.
Was he going to overreact to every situation in which he found himself with Matty? He didn’t want to be that hovering, overprotective father, but he couldn’t help the way his heart jerked into his throat when he pulled Matty out of the swing chair and the boy immediately headed toward a geometric dome made up of metal pipes. The pipes had to be slippery and the holes between the triangles were easily large enough for his two-year-old son to fall through.
“He’s fine,” Carolina assured Wyatt with a smile, even though he hadn’t shared any of his thoughts and fears aloud. “He climbs like a monkey. Swings like one, too. And he likes bananas,” she teased.
Be that as it may, Wyatt inched closer to what appeared to him to be an entirely unsafe piece of playground equipment. He wasn’t about to let Matty fall.
Dads were supposed to be the ones to encourage their sons to reach higher, try harder, be strong and courageous. He was hovering over Matty like a mother hen.
Maybe—hopefully Wyatt would get to the point where he could trust himself to do the right thing, where he instinctively knew how to be a daddy. But right now he felt like he was walking over hot coals with bare feet.
“You should have
seen me the first time I brought Matty to the playground.” Carolina laughed and laid a hand on Wyatt’s shoulder. “I was spotting him so closely that there was no way he could have fallen off anything. I was positive the other parents were laughing at me as I followed him around with inches to spare.”
Wyatt shoved his hands into his pockets. Was it that easy for Carolina to read what he was thinking just from his expression alone?
Back when they were dating, she used to have an uncanny knack for guessing the emotions he was experiencing and knowing just what to say or do to make him feel better. She’d had the same gift with Gran.
Except for the part when he’d realized he was in love with her.
She hadn’t gotten that at all.
Still, even if she had no idea what he was thinking, the compassionate way she was currently gazing at him made him feel vulnerable and uneasy.
“Worse even than the playground was my reaction the first time Matty fell down on the sidewalk and skinned his knee,” she continued. “I wasn’t sure my heart could take hearing him cry. I felt like the worst mother ever. It took me a long time to realize the best thing to do was not overreact. A character bandage and a kiss is usually sufficient to nurse his little-boy wounds.”
“Mmm.” It was all Wyatt could do to take her words in, much less give a coherent response.
“Someone once told me that they start growing away from you the moment they’re born, and I guess there is some truth to that. Matty gets more independent every day. But I don’t have to like it.” She chuckled mildly.
“Just enjoy every moment you have with him, I guess,” Wyatt agreed, his voice gravelly, thinking about all the times he’d missed.
Carolina made a choking sound. He glanced at her, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes.
Was she feeling guilty over all Matty’s firsts that she’d denied Wyatt? First breath, first word, the first step Matty took?
He couldn’t say as he felt sorry for her. She should be feeling guilty. She’d made the decision to walk away. She’d created these consequences for herself, and for Wyatt, and most of all, for Matty.
But today wasn’t a day for anger. Today was about spending time with his son.