by Katie Knight
He didn’t slow until he squealed onto the two-lane highway, the wind whipping around him and the smell of burnt rubber stinging his nose. They probably looked like escapees from a Mad Max film, with their busted car and tattered appearance, but he didn’t care. They’d run the gauntlet and made it out alive. That’s all that mattered.
“You okay back there?” he asked as he slowed his speed to a more reasonable pace. His poor SUV was breaking about fifteen traffic laws as it was in its current state and he had a feeling the insurance company would have some serious questions about the damage, but damn if he could bring himself to care at the moment.
“Jack,” Sam said, her tone rough. “You’re bleeding.”
“Huh?” He frowned and looked down at his right arm where the bullet had grazed him. Blood was pouring from the wound and pain came rushing back. He gritted his teeth. “It’s nothing. Are you and Glory all right?”
“We’re fine,” she said, scowling. “But that doesn’t look like nothing. We should go to the ER.”
“We can’t go to the ER. You’re in hiding, remember?” He exhaled slowly. He really was getting too old for this shit. His body ached all over and his right arm was throbbing now. “We’ll find a new place to hunker down and you can get us some fresh supplies and first aid things at the store. You aren’t squeamish, are you?”
She gave him a perturbed glare, bouncing Glory on her shoulder and rubbing her back to try and calm her. “I’m a scientist. Of course I’m not squeamish. I work with sea mammals for a living. Believe me, I’ve seen more than my share of guts and gore in my time. But your wound looks like it might need stitches. I don’t have any idea how to do that.”
“I do.” He shifted slightly, then winced as fresh agony tore up from his arm to the side of his neck and head. On the battlefield, he and the rest of his SEAL team had trained as basic EMTs so they could perform emergency medical procedures until help arrived. He’d stitched up a few other guys in combat. It would be harder to do on himself, but not impossible. If worse came to worse, he could talk Sam through it too. He caught her worried gaze in the mirror and gave her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “We’ll get through this, I promise. Trust me?”
Sam blinked at him a few times before giving a curt nod. “I don’t have much choice.”
17
After getting them checked into some fleabag motel off the highway, where the manager looked more like a pimp and there were thirty channels of porn on pay-per-view, Jack pulled his once spiffy SUV around the back of the building to hide it from any nosy passersby, then secured them in the small room he’d rented for the night with cash.
Sam was in the bathroom, getting Glory ready for bed, so Jack flopped down on the king-sized bed in the room and stared up at the water-stained ceiling. The beige paint was peeling in spots and the air smelled musty. He didn’t want to even consider what had caused the stains on the worn brown carpet and God forbid someone turn a black light on in here to reveal the bodily fluids left behind by previous guests.
Still, his arm was killing him and he felt weary to his very bones. He needed to call Zeke and arrange for a real protective detail to come and get Sam and their daughter. He wasn’t capable of taking care of them any longer. In truth, maybe he never had been good enough. And wasn’t that just a kick in the pants?
Jack groaned and rubbed his tired eyes. What a freaking mess.
“Hey, I’m done in the bathroom,” Sam said, coming out with Glory in her arms. “Let me get her fed, then I’ll help you clean your arm up.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, then rolled off the bed. She deserved so much better than him. An odd mix of guilt and tenderness swept through him, threatening to take him under as he watched her talk to Glory as she fed her a bottle, making the baby squirm and laugh with delight. So precious. So sweet. So far out of his league that he had no shot of keeping them in his life now. Best to cut ties and let them move on without him.
“I’m gonna take a shower,” he said, heading for the bathroom without waiting for her reply. Once Jack was safely locked away, he turned on the water and let it run while he peeled off his clothes, layer by painful layer. While he’d won the fight with the first henchman, the guy had gotten in a couple well-placed blows, leaving Jack with a nice set of bruised ribs and a nasty gash on his cheek. Couple that with the constant, stinging pain from the bullet grazing his right arm and he felt like he was falling apart.
The blood had dried on his wound, making pulling the cloth of his shirt away a new experience in agony. His breath hissed through his clenched teeth as he ripped the shirt sleeve away and fresh blood seeped from the cut across his bicep. Cursing low, he tossed his things aside and finished stripping before stepping under the hot spray of the shower and letting it ease away his aches and pains. Too bad he couldn’t have one of these to soothe his aching heart.
After scrubbing down and drying off, he got out and wrapped the damp towel around his hips. He rinsed out his shirt and jeans as best he could, then hung them over the side of the tub to dry. Finished, he walked back out into the room to find Sam waiting for him. They’d managed to stop by a superstore and grab what first aid supplies they had, as well as a sewing kit, some snacks to tide them over until morning, and a fresh set of clothes for each of them.
“C’mon over here and let me see the damage,” she said, waving him to sit on the edge of the bed near her. “You look like you’ve been run over by a Mac truck.”
“Thanks,” he said, reluctantly doing as she told him. He wasn’t used to people fussing over him. Well, other than his mom. But that’s what mothers did. In the SEALs, you took care of others first and yourself last. Having Sam dote on him was a new experience. Not to mention the soft touch of her fingers on his sensitive flesh was sending all sorts of naughty urges zinging through his body. But now wasn’t the time and she wasn’t the person he should be doing that with. The fact he’d slept with her once already again was bad enough. It had been wonderful, but there couldn’t be a repeat performance. To allow further distractions now could be a death sentence for them all. Her father was ruthless and would stop at nothing to achieve his goals. The fact he’d burned down the cabin and tried to have Sam killed meant he had no care for anyone but himself. Nope. The best thing Jack could do to keep Sam and Glory safe was to let them go. He sighed and stared down at his bare toes. “You don’t have to do this. I can handle it myself.”
“Yeah?” She raised a brow at him. “How? You can’t reach the back of your arm and this will get infected if you don’t take care of it properly.”
“Since when are you a doctor?” he grumbled.
“Since when are you a smartass?” she replied, not taking any of his shit.
“Fine. Whatever.” His shoulders sagged as he let her clean and bandage him up. Luckily, the wound had stopped bleeding, so the stitches weren’t necessary after all. He had bigger issues to tackle anyway. Like convincing her that calling his buddy at the marshal’s office was the right thing to do. “When you’re done, I’m going to call Zeke.”
She just kept on working, as if she hadn’t heard him, gently cleaning his injury with antiseptic, then covering the wound with a gauze pad.
“Did you hear me?” Jack asked at last, frowning.
“I did,” Sam said, taping the bandage into place. He’d expected another fight, another argument, but there was nothing. That left him more unsettled than ever.
He felt like he should explain, to make sure they were clear. “I just think we have to get the marshals involved at this point. Zeke’s a good man. He’ll have the resources to keep you and Glory safe.”
“Agreed.” She turned away to toss the soiled cotton balls and trash into the nearby bin. “I think you should call him right away.”
Her voice sounded tighter than usual, as if she was holding back anger. Or disappointment. Gutted, Jack pushed off the bed and stalked over to the dresser across the room. So, she agreed he wasn’t a capable protector. Good. Even
if it felt so incredibly bad. She’d lost faith in him too. Now he felt even more worthless than before. As he passed by Glory’s carrier, she began to fuss. With all the tension thickening the air, he wasn’t surprised the baby would pick up on it too.
Without thinking, he reached into the carrier and picked his daughter up, cooing to her and making funny faces to get her to giggle. Before he knew it, Glory was calm again, gazing up at him with her wide, adoring eyes. His battered heart squeezed a little more. Man, he was going to miss this when they were gone. Holding his little girl, smelling her good baby smell, seeing that tiny smile she’d give only for him. Even it was the best thing for all of them to get her and Sam back into witness protection, it eviscerated him to know he’d likely never see them again. They’d been back in his life such a short time, but already he was attached, far more than was wise.
Sam came over to stand next to him, smoothing her hand over their daughter’s head. “I mean, I’m not looking forward to leaving all this behind, but we’ve been enough of a burden to you already.”
The constriction in Jack’s throat increased, threatening to choke him until he swallowed hard. “You’re not a burden.”
“Seriously?” She gave a sad little snort. “Don’t say that to make me feel better. We’ve been nothing but trouble since you found us wandering alongside that road. You’ve already lost your vehicle, your cabin, and your peaceful farm because of me. I won’t let you lose anything else. So, yeah. Call this Zeke person, if you think you can trust him, and we’ll be on our way.”
“All of that stuff can be replaced, Sam. My cousin can rebuild his cabin.” He placed Glory over his shoulder and began pacing the room with her, rubbing her back as he walked. “Your life and our baby’s can’t. That’s why I’m doing this.”
“You don’t have to explain it to me.” Sam walked toward the bathroom. “I’m not arguing here. I just think it’s best to part ways now. That way neither of us loses any more than we have to. Now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s my turn to take a shower.”
With that, she closed the door behind her, leaving him to stare after her as the sound of the lock clicking into place echoed through the room. Perfect. He should be happy. He’d gotten what he wanted. Sam had agreed to him calling in the US marshals again and going back under their protection.
He should be ecstatic. Overjoyed. Relieved.
So why then did he feel like the biggest failure in the history of the world?
As if to agree with him, Glory gave a grunt and messed in her diaper.
Perfect.
Welp, time to see if all those video tutorials he’d watched paid off.
“What did my baby girl do, huh? What did you do?” he asked as he carried his daughter over to the bed to lay her down, getting a couple of gurgling giggles out of her for his efforts. He dug through the diaper bag for supplies, then laid them out with military precision on the comforter before taking a deep breath. Okay. He mentally talked himself through the steps as he went. First, onesies off. Next, remove soiled diaper and discard it.
Jack’s nose wrinkled as he peeled away the thing and peered inside. Holy mother of God, what had the kid been eating? Toxic waste? Quickly as possible, he folded the dirty diaper and chucked it into an empty plastic bag before setting it on the floor. He’d be taking that out to the dumpster as soon as he was done. He grabbed several wipes for the plastic container and carefully cleaned Glory up, then applied diaper rash cream to a few red spots before letting it all dry. While he waited, he got the clean diaper ready along with a new onesie. Finally, he hoisted Glory’s little bum into the air and slid the new diaper underneath before securing it in place and slipping on the new onesie. By the time he was done he felt like high-fiving the world. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops. He’d just changed his first diaper.
As he picked up the baby to put her back into her carrier, the sadness of the moment also struck him. He should savor this moment of caring for his daughter because all too soon it would be over and he’d be back to his bachelor life on the farm with just his substitute teaching to keep him company.
Because that’s the way he wanted it. Because that’s what was best for them all.
Wasn’t it?
18
The next morning, Sam was up early, as usual. Glory was fussy again, most likely because of their new environment. She wasn’t running a fever, thank goodness, and otherwise had no other physical signs of their ordeal in the woods the previous day.
Jack had gone to the drug store to try to get them enough supplies to last them until his friend from the marshals’ office could get there later that day. He’d also mumbled something about patrolling the area as he’d left.
Things were strained between, to say the least, since their conversation the night before.
Sam sighed and sat down at the small table in the room. Glory was sitting in her carrier atop it, chewing on her plastic key set with a drooling grin. She was such a happy baby. She was never colicky. She slept surprisingly well most nights. She was fascinated with new things and new people, not scared and temperamental like some kids. Sam knew how lucky she was. She loved her daughter more than life itself and would do anything to keep her safe. Even if it meant leaving behind Jack.
Since last night, she’d been working hard to build her emotional walls back up, high and strong, but it turned out to be far harder than she’d imagined. It had only been a short time since Jack Williams had appeared back in her life, yet he’d somehow managed to get closer to her than pretty much anyone else in her life. It was amazing. It was sad. It was terrifying.
The fact that she felt way safer with Jack by her side than she ever had with the marshals didn’t help either. But she had to go. For Glory. For their future. Besides, Jack had built a nice, quiet life for himself here in Nebraska. He didn’t deserve to have her ruin it all because of her asshole father.
Alone with Glory in the crappy hotel room, Sam allowed her sobs to overcome her and she cried. Cried for the mother she’d lost so young. Cried for the father she’d wished she’d had instead of the monster he’d become. Cried for her lost innocence.
Bad as things were now, they hadn’t always been that way. When her mother had still been alive, she’d done her best to shield little Sam from the treachery of her father’s world. They’d spent most days outside Chicago at the racetrack where her mother had worked as a horse trainer. Sam’s love of nature and animals had started there in those stables. It was part of why she’d wanted to become a marine biologist. To help protect those that couldn’t protect themselves.
After her mother had passed, her maternal grandparents had taken over, bringing Sam to their small amusement park after school. She’d loved all the carnival-style rides and playing the corny games. She’d had no idea that back at home, her brothers were being groomed to join their father in the mob. Sam sniffled and swiped her hand across the back of her damp cheeks. Just one more part of her old life that witness protection had stolen from her. She yearned to call them and find out how they were, but that could be signing their death warrant. Not from her father, per se, but from his enemies.
It was all such a mess.
Then there was Jack. The man she’d never forgotten and now couldn’t imagine living without, even though she knew she’d have to. Her heart squeezed tight in her chest. Why did love have to hurt so badly? In all those sappy love stories she’d devoured as a teenager, the couples went through problems, sure, but they always found their way to happily ever after. Not in real life though. In reality, people died, people went bad, people tore the ones they loved apart for their own selfish reasons.
Sam covered her face with her hands and let her tears flow freely.
Oblivious to her mother’s turmoil, Glory giggled and threw her keys at Sam. They bounced off Sam’s forehead before clattering to the floor. It was enough of a shock to draw Sam out of the sadness of her past and the sorrow of letting Jack go and bring her focus back to the here and now. He
r focus needed to be on her daughter if they were going to make it through this in one piece. Time she snapped out of her depression and sucked it up. That’s what moms did.
After a few deep breaths, she squared her shoulders and forced a smile for Glory.
“What are you doing, huh?” Sam snorted and picked up the plastic keys, carrying them to the bathroom to wash them off before returning them to her daughter. “Are you trying to cheer mommy up?”
As if in answer, Glory gave her another toothless, drool-filled smile.
“Well, it worked.” Sam wiped away her tears and rolled her stiff shoulders. Jack should be back soon. She didn’t want him to see her crying. She needed to be strong, now more than ever.
The scrape of a key in the lock had her rushing to the bathroom mirror to make sure all signs of her tears earlier were gone before Jack walked in.
A gust of cool, early-springtime air followed behind him as he trundled inside the room, his arms laden with white plastic bags. He set them down, then secured the door behind himself. Even with the dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep and his wind-tousled hair, he was still the handsomest man she’d ever seen. Her heart did a little flip before she shoved those feelings aside. Once his friend from the marshals’ office got here, this would all be over.
The sooner she remembered that, the better.
“I got us each another change of clothes,” he said, unloading the bags and not looking at her. “Plus more stuff for the baby—diapers, rash cream, a couple more bottles, some jars of baby food, some clean onesies.”
“What time will the marshals be here?” she asked, taking a stack of things for Glory from him to restock the diaper bag.
“Not sure yet,” Jack said, still staring into the bags and avoiding her gaze entirely. “Zeke is supposed to call me back once he has details.”