by Katie Knight
“Navy issued, ma’am.” He grinned. Neither of them had brought up their kiss from today. Probably best that way. After all, she’d thought it was a mistake. About time he got that into his head too, no matter how his body might be yearning otherwise. He tossed the dirty underwear and socks aside and reached into the bag again. This time, he pulled out one of the files he’d grabbed the night of the mission, the tension of the day finally abating a bit, leaving him in a teasing mood. “Are you sure you want to see these? I might have to kill you afterward. You know, classified and all.”
She smacked his arm and shook her head. “After the way you worried me earlier with all that black ops crap, sneaking out of the locker room, I might have to kill you instead. Now hand it over, buddy. I told you before I’m willing to take the risk if you are. And nothing leaves this house. Our eyes only.”
He gave a curt nod and handed her the file. “Our eyes only.”
Hopefully there’d be some useful intel in these bags somewhere, since they basically still had squat to go on at this point. She’d managed to hack the encryption on the flash drive, but the files had only shown the same maps and tribe information he’d remembered from that awful night his mission had tanked. As he flipped through the pages of documents inside the folder, he asked, “You really think your tech guy can find something on that drive that we couldn’t? Not sure I like passing it off to a stranger.”
“Maybe. Steve’s the best. And ex-CIA. I’d trust him with my life. He’ll keep your secrets too, don’t worry,” Maria said, frowning. “I’m hoping there’s an extra, hidden layer of data on there that I missed.”
“Wait. You mean you’re not infallible?” He gave her a snarky, incredulous stare.
“Keep it up, frogman, and I’ll show you infallible.” She grinned and went back to searching through the bag. “Anything in that folder?”
“Not really. It’s mainly a list of names and details about the tribal leaders in the area where we were stationed in Afghanistan. But the Navy already has all this intel. It’s what they use to plan future missions and keep the peace and stability in the region. Nothing new.”
“Damn.” She emptied out the rest of her bag, as did he, then leaned back against the bottom of the sofa, her expression disappointed. “All that hard work and intrigue for nothing.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” Trevor slumped beside her, picking up a pink flowered onesie from the pile nearby. “My mom really appreciated getting to spend time with Camille today. Thanks again for that.”
“No problem.” She snorted and smiled. “It was good. I’ll admit, at first, I thought it made sense to keep everything separate. But I’m glad I decided to do it now. Your mom’s wonderful and Camille deserves to have a woman like that in her life.”
“Besides you, you mean.” Trevor nudged her with his shoulder. “You’re pretty great yourself.”
“Thanks.” Pretty pink color suffused her cheeks and he forced himself to look away before he couldn’t anymore. “I try.”
“You succeed.”
She opened her mouth to say more but was cut off by a loud wail from Camille’s room.
With a sigh, Maria started to get up, only to be stopped by Trevor’s hand on her arm.
“Hey, why don’t you let me take the shift tonight?” She looked about as exhausted as he felt, but then he’d been trained to go days without sleep. He could handle it better than her. “Seriously. We’ll be fine. You can take a nice hot bath, relax, get a full eight hours. My treat. Consider it part of my thank you for everything you did today.”
She seemed to consider it a second, then gave him some side-eye. “Are you sure?”
“I offered, didn’t I?” He stood, then extended a hand down to help her up. “Go. Sleep. Please.”
Maria looked from him to Camille’s nursery, then back again. “Okay. Thank you.”
“No need to thank me.” He watched her walk away, feeling heavy with fatigue, yet light as air, knowing he’d done a little something to make her life easier, if even for one night. And yeah, the thought of caring for his daughter on his own for the night was pretty special too. After a yawn and a stretch, he headed for the nursery to comfort his still wailing daughter. As he picked up her tiny squirming body and cuddled her close, inhaling her sweet baby scent, Trevor couldn’t help imagining what his life might’ve been like if he’d stayed with Maria, if they’d been a real couple instead of just a contract, if they’d gotten married and this whole daddy thing was real. He would’ve liked that, he thought.
Except he was a SEAL. That was his life’s work, his life’s goal.
Wasn’t it?
He held his daughter and rocked her gently, murmuring endearments to soothe her as he carried her out into the living room where the soft lights glowed and the TV was muted in the background. Funny, but in the short time he’d been staying with Maria, he’d come to recognize the differences in his infant daughter’s cries, been able to distinguish which sound meant what. There was her cranky wail for when she wanted attention. Her anxious cry when she needed to be changed. And this one here, a high-pitched keen, when she was hungry.
Singing softly, he walked with her into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of breast milk from the fridge one-handed, then stuck it into the microwave to heat it up a bit. The sound of running water echoed from the bathroom down the hall and he did his best not to picture Maria stripping down for her bath as he checked the milk’s temperature on the inside of his wrist before giving it to Camille.
As he settled on the sofa, his daughter tucked in one arm while he flipped through the channels on TV with the other, the sounds of the bath being filled was replaced by the rhythmic suck-breath noise of Camille having her bottle. He’d never in a million years thought this kind of life would suit him, but as he sat there, staring at the moving pictures on the screen, his heart filled with a kind of contentment he’d only ever felt after completing a mission with his SEAL team. The feeling of a job well done. The feeling of belonging.
That thought both thrilled and terrified him.
Thrilled him because yeah, this was his kid. His daughter. And he’d made her happy. Trevor glanced down at her wide blue eyes, the same shade as his, and couldn’t help smiling. Man, she was so adorable.
But those same thoughts terrified him. This wasn’t real or lasting. This was only pretend. This wasn’t where he belonged because he’d signed paperwork to the exact contrary. Not once, not even after all those steamy kisses they’d shared, had Maria mentioned wanting him as a permanent part of her life or Camille’s. She’d never indicated she wanted a future with Trevor.
Nope. Best to keep his warm fuzzy feelings to himself about all this and stick with his plan.
Find the captain’s true killer. Clear his name. Get back to work with his SEAL team.
As Camille finished her bottle, though, and he settled her over his shoulder to burp her, her warmth seeped into the side of his neck and her good smell surrounded him, and Trevor had a hard time imagining how the hell he was going to walk away from all this when it was over.
He would though, because that’s what he’d promised.
Because that’s what Maria wanted.
Because that’s what he wanted too.
Wasn’t it?
15
Maria awoke the next morning to the sound of someone rummaging around in her bedroom. Slowly, she peeked one eye open to see Trevor, digging through the pile of discarded clothes on the chair in the corner.
“What are you doing?” she asked, pushing her hair from her face, her voice groggy.
He stopped and looked over at her, far too delectable for his own good. He was shirtless, his muscles rippling in the early morning light filtering in through the gauzy curtains over her windows. His hair, which was growing out from his usual buzzcut, was sticking up at odd angles and she could see his forearm tattoo better now. Damn, the man was fine. No two ways about it.
“I was going to wash my sheets,” he
said. “Thought I’d see if you had any laundry in here to make up a full load.”
“Oh.” She rubbed her nose and yawned, rolling over onto her back. Glancing sideways, she stared at the digital alarm clock on her nightstand. 6 a.m. Maria couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept in until six in the morning. A strong tide of gratefulness washed over her. Trevor had given her a full night’s sleep. Her first in a while. It was quite possibly the best thing she’d ever received in her life.
Her thoughts quickly transitioned to her daughter. “How’s Camille?”
“Great.” He grinned. “She’s so stinking cute. Do you know she smiled at me last night and everything? I made her laugh.”
Trevor sounded so proud of himself that Maria’s heart ached with sweetness. She quickly tamped it down, reminding herself that he was only there because of the investigation—and that he’d be gone as soon as it was resolved. To think otherwise was a quick ticket to heartache. It was great having him here now, and she was so appreciative of all he’d done for her and Camille thus far, but to wish for more was beyond stupid. Once this was over, he’d go back to his SEAL team and she’d get on with her life.
End of story.
That’s how she’d set things up. That’s how she wanted them.
Wasn’t it?
She propped herself up against the headboard, a couple of pillows behind her, and covered all the confusing emotions churning inside her with snark. “Are you sure it wasn’t gas?”
Trevor’s grin fell and she missed it immediately. He cocked his head and frowned, then said, resolutely, “No. My daughter likes me. Even if you don’t.”
“I like you,” Maria said quickly. Way more than I should. “I just know that you won’t be around forever, so I’m trying to protect myself.”
His gaze narrowed at that and she hid a wince. Great. She shouldn’t have mentioned protecting herself, even if it was true. That would only lead him to believe there was something going on between her and him that she needed to guard herself against. And there definitely was, if the way her toes had curled during that kiss yesterday was any indication. Wowzers. The man should carry a license to kill with a weapon like that in his arsenal. Forget bullets. One kiss was all he needed to knock her off her feet.
“I’ll be around as long as it takes to settle this investigation,” he said, stepping closer to the bed. “And as long as I’m around, I’ll be here for you. I hope you know that by now, Maria. I understand I’m not what you’re looking for in a man or a husband, but until you find someone better….”
There is no one better.
Maria nearly bit a hole in her tongue holding back those words, but somehow, she managed. The awareness between them, ever present, flared hotter, and the air in her bedroom seemed to thicken with possibilities. Would it really be so bad to have him again, just one more time? They’d already slept together, even if it had been a year ago and only to get her pregnant. That week had still been branded forever on her mind and heart. So hot, so tender, so passionate. She couldn’t imagine how much better it would be when they were just doing it for fun, no other goals in mind.
Before she could question her actions, she found herself patting the bed next to her and giving him a coy look. “Now that I think of it, there’s one other thing you could do for me.”
He blinked at her, as if letting that settle in a minute. Then came that slow, sexy smile of his, even more disarming because of the sincerity in his gorgeous blue eyes. He stepped closer still, close enough for her to feel the heat of his skin, close enough for her to inhale his scent—soap and sandalwood and a hint of baby powder from Camille. She reached out and traced her fingertips over his tattoo again, enjoying his slight shiver under her touch.
Then—shocking them both, if the look on his face was any indication—she grabbed his arm and pulled him down on top of her in the bed. She squeaked, and he gave a bark of surprised laughter before they both went silent, listening to make sure they hadn’t woken Camille.
After a few more seconds ticked by in blissful silence, Maria relaxed under his weight, parting her legs to allow him to slip between them, layers of covers and clothing still separating them. Trevor stared down at her, a mix of wariness and want and wonder in his gaze. He didn’t move, just watched her as he reached up to trace her fingertips over his face, relearning him inch by inch.
“Are you sure about this?” he whispered, his voice low and gruff with need.
In response, she pressed her hips up into him, feeling the extent of his need and arousal. “I am.”
With that, Maria pulled his head down and kissed him deeply.
16
Trevor responded to her kiss, soft and tender at first, as if asking her permission. Then he remembered she’d initiated it and deepened the pressure. She moaned and opened her mouth beneath his. He accepted the challenge, the invitation. In the back of his mind, those warning bells clanged again, saying this was wrong, even though if felt so very, very right. He shoved those warnings aside. Just once, just for one day, he wanted this, wanted her again, like he’d never wanted anything else in his life. He slipped his tongue inside her mouth and tasted Maria again—sweeter than he’d remembered from earlier and hotter than hell.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this again. I haven’t been with anyone since…” Maria stopped, biting her lip as she slid her hands up his chest to cup the nape of his neck. “I mean, I didn’t really have the time, with the pregnancy, and then with Camille and work and—”
He placed a finger over her lips, smiling. “I understand. It’s the same with me.”
Probably not the most studly thing to admit, that he hadn’t gotten laid in a year, but she just seemed to bring out the honesty in him. Always had. With Maria, he’d always felt that he could just be himself, and damn if it wasn’t totally refreshing and completely addictive.
He shivered beneath her touch, his body primed and ready, so damned ready. Except they both still had too many clothes on and they needed to be careful not to wake the sleeping infant down the hall. It had taken him hours to get her to sleep. Not that she’d been crying. Nope. His daughter had been perfectly content to just lay there on his chest and stare up at him. Trevor’s heart had shattered into a million pieces during those hours, each piece now squarely belonging to his daughter, no matter how any of the rest of this turned out. Though, he had to say, things with her mother were definitely looking up at the moment. He cupped Maria’s cheeks and stroked his thumbs over her cheekbones. “We need to be quiet. Can you do that? I remember last year, you were a bit of a screamer.”
She nodded mutely at him, challenge sparkling in her eyes, before he kissed her again,
Beneath his deft fingers, the buttons of her flannel pajama top opened, and as his fingers explored the newly uncovered skin, he broke away from her lips to kiss his way across her cheek to her ear. Maria groaned so low and soft, the sound filled with so much want, that he felt it all the way down deep to his groin. He let his weight settle atop her, enjoying the warmth of skin to skin as the pajama top parted and her breasts pressed against him, her nipples taut against his chest. He nibbled his way down the side of her neck. “Tell me you want this as much as I do, Maria. Please God, tell me.”
“Yes,” she whispered, arching against him, grinding the heat between her legs against his hard cock through the layers of bedding and flannel. It had been so long, too long, and he damned near embarrassed himself on the spot. “I know this is against our contract, and I know you don’t intend to stay, but I seriously think I’ll die without this, Trevor. Without you.”
“No dying allowed.” He let go of her hands and slid his fingers along her arms to her collarbones. Her skin felt like hot silk and he couldn’t get enough. “Not yet anyway.”
She growled and sank her fingers deep into his hair, forcing his lips back to hers for another open-mouthed kiss. He gladly acquiesced, the feel of her curves beneath him like heaven and hell all rolled into one. He knew h
e should take this slow, savor this moment, this woman who he’d never imagined would want to be with him again but who’d he’d still dreamed of all those lonely nights away, except he was too wasted on desire to move slowly now.
He raised up slightly to brush her sensitive nipples with his pecs. She dug her nails into his scalp, making him grit his teeth. Pain and pleasure, secrets and truth. They all joined together in this moment. Trevor hovered above her and looked down into her flushed face, his heart pounding.
Maria looked up at him, gaze narrowed. “Don’t you dare stop now, Trevor Daniels.”
Trevor chuckled and traced his hand beneath the cover, down the center of her body to the waistband of her flannel pajama pants. He slid the tie open and slowly slipped his fingers inside to cup her through her panties. “Wouldn’t dream of it, darling.”
Her body felt like pure flame. She’d never been this turned on before in her life.
Even the last time between them hadn’t been like this.
Maria clutched at his arms as he stroked her through her panties and bit her lip to keep from crying out, mindful of her baby daughter sleeping just down the hall. Trevor was so beautiful, she wanted to spend hours relearning every muscle and sinew of him with her tongue and lips and fingers, but knew they had precious little time left. Camille would be due for another feeding soon. Maria slipped her fingers through his hair again and arched against him, bringing his lips to her nipple. She needed him to touch her and taste her and bite her until she came so hard, all of her doubts and worries and fears just disappeared. Rules were rules, and a deal was a deal, but desire like this was extremely rare, at least for her. She might regret her rash decision later, but right now she needed him like she needed oxygen.
He shuddered against her as she stroked his scalp and smiled against her skin. “Easy, darling. Or this will be over before it starts.”