“I suggest you write a note to leave here for him. You could tell him about the men who attacked you. Tell him we killed your attackers, but could not wait around for his return and we could not leave you here alone. Let him know you have gone with us for your protection and that you will write him more when you have a chance to send a letter,” Stephen said.
“Sounds like a good plan,” William responded, sounding relieved. “Do you have indigo and quill and some parchment?”
“Not much, but enough to write a short note,” she said. “But….” She lowered her head.
Stephen could understand her mixed emotions. He could tell she wasn’t sure she should abandon her home or her father. Even though he treated her poorly, he was still her father.
Kelly looked up at William, then said, “I have to admit, I had thought about the idea of my own life and leaving this place…I just didn’t how or when…all right, I’ll do it. But I’ll have to take my chickens and my milk cow. I won’t leave them behind. They’re all I’ve got and someone has to take care of them.”
Stephen’s heart twisted when he realized they were the only family she had.
“And we’ll have to take my old mule, Rocky. We can’t leave him. Pa says he’s too old to use as a pack mule up in the mountains, but he’s still of use if he’s not loaded too heavily.”
William glanced at him and grinned. They both knew Stephen had to accept Kelly with her entire menagerie.
“My wife Jane will be thrilled to have some chickens around again, and the children would benefit from some fresh cow’s milk. All we have are two young heifers that are not yet producing milk. I suppose we could build a cage of some sort for the hens and tie it onto that mule. But you’ll have to take care of them. I’m not messing with chickens. Be sure to explain to your father that you took the mule. I don’t want him thinking we did. I won’t take another man’s animal.”
“I’ll explain, but he won’t care. And I’ll take care of my own animals. And you will have the first eggs the chickens lay,” Kelly said.
William started laughing.
Stephen glared at him. Eggs. He hated eggs. He shook his head as he strode towards the door, muttering under his breath, “God help us—all.”
Stephen couldn’t believe what had just happened. He not only had yet another woman joining them on this trip, but an old mule, a milk cow, and chickens too. Well, at least the chickens would make Jane happy. He had to admit, he was glad they were helping Kelly. After her father abandoned her and those scoundrels robbed her of her innocence, the poor girl deserved a chance for a new life. He knew Jane would welcome her. And helping Kelly might help Jane heal too.
He sat down on an old barrel on the porch and watched the rain. He missed Jane. He missed everything about her. Her beautiful smile. The soft lilt of her voice. The sparkle in her green eyes. The smell of roses in her hair. But most of all, he missed the joy of feeling her arms around him and the thrill of loving her. He would do anything to make that happen again.
He would make her happy once more. He had to. Their girls did not die for nothing. They died for their land. Not his land—their land. Somehow, he would make Jane understand that. And, believe how much he loved her.
The weather cleared and the three packed to leave. Stephen wanted to get back to Jane and the others as soon as possible.
William built a pack frame and a couple of crude crates out of the weathered boards of the existing coop, causing him to acquire numerous splinters and to swear more than once. Carpentry had never been one of William’s strengths.
Kelly loaded the crates, calling each chicken by their names—Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy. “I have three more books in the Old Testament to go before I get to the book of Samuel, then I’ll have to get a rooster. Can’t have a hen named Samuel after all,” she explained.
Stephen just nodded in agreement. Couldn’t talk much over all the squawking anyway.
William approached the mule. “Do you suppose that old boy will object to me putting this cage full of squawking chickens on his rear end?”
“If he does, they’ll have to walk. I’m not putting chickens on a horse. It would be disrespectful,” Stephen said as he saddled their mounts.
“He’s a pack mule. He won’t mind all that much,” Kelly said.
“Just the same, I’d be obliged, Stephen, if you loaded him,” William said.
“Why should I load it? It’s your cage,” he asked.
“You’re much better with animals than I,” William said.
“Hell. You just want me to be the one to get kicked,” Stephen retorted.
William winked at Kelly. “I thought you’d respect a stubborn old mule for not liking chickens. Kind of takes after you don’t you think?”
Stephen chuckled, surprising himself that he could.
Stephen and William watched, ready to help if needed, as Kelly packed her few belongings. She put the note to her father on their table and anchored it with the oil lamp.
“I have just one more thing to do,” she said.
Stephen took her things and she strode out the cabin door and headed toward her mother’s grave. Kelly reached down and pulled the weeds away from the headstone. Stephen kept his distance, giving her some privacy to say her goodbye, but his heart clenched when she ran her fingers through each of the letters of her mother’s name. Before leaving, she gathered nearby wildflowers and laid them against the stone.
Kelly mounted the horse that had been Mr. Adams’ and appeared ready to go before Stephen finished securely tying her belongings and the two crates full of squawking chickens to the mule. Feathers flew everywhere.
Looking down at him she said, “Mr. Wyllie I believe Old Rocky likes you. He normally moves all around when my father loads him. He’s just standing there like you were brushing his coat or something.”
“I just told him if he gave me any trouble I’d put lead between his long ugly mule ears,” he said, scowling as he waved a chicken feather away from his face.
William laughed so hard he could barely stay seated on his horse.
To Stephen’s surprise, Kelly smiled broadly as she listened to William laugh.
When was the last time she heard someone laugh? he wondered.
“I always thought you talked sweetly to animals and that’s how you got them to do what you wanted. Now I know you just threaten their life and ridicule them. That’s your secret.”
Stephen tied lead ropes on the other horses and gave the gentlest one to Kelly to lead and he took the other two. “Let’s go,” he said, as he mounted George.
William went first and Kelly followed. She didn’t look back.
He cracked his whip, letting just the tip lightly touch the back of the cow to urge her forward. As they left, Stephen pondered how long it would be until they caught up with the others. Dragging this entourage down rock-covered hills was going to test his scant patience.
“Mr. Wyllie, you seem to handle that whip with skill,” Kelly remarked.
“I’ve seen him cut off a snake’s head with that thing,” William said.
“Why waste powder on a snake,” he said. “I prefer to save ammunition for two-legged snakes like the kind we left back there.”
“We need to report what happened to the sheriff in the closest town,” William said.
“No, please, no,” Kelly begged. “I don’t want anyone to know what happened back there. It’s bad enough you two know.”
“Maybe we should just leave it alone. What do you think?” William asked him.
“Suits me. Justice has already been served. No point in delaying our progress any more. A sheriff would probably want us to stay in town until he could verify facts and write up a report. But we will have to tell Jane and the others. They’ll need to understand why we brought her along.”
Kelly moved her horse next to Stephen’s. “Please, no one else, please,” she pleaded, her eyes filled with tears.
“You needn’t worry a
bout what happened to you Kelly. Put it all behind you now,” Stephen said gently.
Kelly just hung her head, her tears falling on the saddle horn. For a long time, every step her mount took shook another tear loose.
CHAPTER 30
Jane made breakfast that morning with her mind elsewhere. She kept thinking about Stephen. She had slept fitfully, dreaming of him all night. In her dreams, she desperately tried to reach him, to tell him something, but somehow each time she got close to him, he would disappear. She awoke, feeling uneasy and wondering what she had been trying to tell him.
He had left with only her anger to carry with him. She let him ride off on a potentially dangerous undertaking without even saying goodbye. But he hadn’t said goodbye to her either. He just rode off. Rode off with the guilt she mercilessly heaped on him. She could not deny that she had cruelly judged him guilty and made him feel like a criminal.
Could she take back her bitter words? Or would they both have to live with them forever?
The memory of their terrible quarrel—the desperation in his voice, the pain in his eyes—hurt her to the core. But at the time, she still suffered from an unbearable heartache.
She barely noticed as Sam walked up. He bent to turn the strips of nearly burnt venison over with his knife.
“You’re thinking about Stephen aren’t you?” he asked.
“He went off, possibly to grave danger, with only my bitterness in his heart. I was angry. Still am. But—”
As usual, Sam cut to the heart of the matter. “You hold him responsible don’t you?”
“Yes, God help me, I do. She struggled not to cry, but her eyes burned with tears wanting to be shed. “I’m also terrified, scared out of my mind that more of us will die.”
Sam took the pan off the fire, and set it on a rock to cool. “When we decided to leave, part of the reason for going was Bomazeen. He was an unquestionable threat and eventually he would have come after you. And likely your daughters too. But he was only the final reason. Let me tell you about a discussion Stephen had with our brothers before we left.”
She sat down on her trunk. “All right.”
Sam continued, “Edward argued against taking a dangerous trip. Stephen thought the potential rewards outweighed the possible risks. So did William and so did John. And, I agreed with them. It was four to one in favor of leaving. Stephen was stumped though, because he knew what jeopardy the journey might put you and the girls in. It was tearing him apart.
“Believe it or not, it was Little John who helped Stephen to decide. Little John said we could die there too, just as his mother did, and his Grandpa and Grandma did in the mountain slide. What Little John said was true. Life has no guarantees anywhere. Amy and Mary could have died from a fever there in your home. You know the truth of that. We’ve all seen it happen in other families, often without explanation.”
“I have,” she admitted, reining in her temper, and letting out a long sigh.
“Ultimately, Edward did not have the courage to leave. Stephen did. Would you rather be married to a complacent coward? To a man who is only content with what’s easy and safe? Or to a man like Stephen? A man with the courage to trust God and pursue his dream, even if it means facing the unknown. The man you chose to marry for those very qualities.”
She shut her eyes and buried her face in her hands. “Dear Lord, what have I done?”
“It’s not what you did, but what you can do that is important now. Forgive him Jane and forgive yourself too. No one was responsible for their deaths. No one could have prevented it. None of us know our future. It just happened for a reason we’ll never understand. Stephen loves you more than his dream, more than the land he wants so desperately so that he can provide a better future for his family. He wants only one thing more than land—to keep you safe. But if you separate the man from his dream, he won’t be the same man.”
Jane let Sam’s words sink in. They felt like a warm salve to her wounded and bruised spirit. She wanted to heal, wanted to love again. If she were honest, her anger had already faded even before she talked to Sam.
Finally, she said, “Thank you, Sam.”
Jane felt her heart beginning to heal already. There was no doubt that she would still hurt for some time, but the sorrow would come from missing Amy and Mary, not from bitter, misplaced anger and resentment. She could leave that dark abyss behind now and move on. Move on with her husband by her side, looking forward, toward the west, toward a shared dream. She prayed he would come back to her and give her a chance to tell him she was sorry. And, to spend the rest of their new life showing him her love.
She closed her eyes, willing Stephen to feel her love, to know that she realized she was wrong to blame him. Terribly wrong. Forgiveness began to bloom in her heart.
It was then that she felt the first soft twitch of the new life growing inside her.
The sun blazed high in the sky when Stephen and William caught up with the others. Bear, who was bringing up the rear, turned in his saddle as they approached, peered down the trail toward them, and waved.
“There they are,” Bear yelled and pointed, then loped his horse back toward them.
Stephen couldn’t wait to see the girls, but most of all Jane. Somehow, he had to make amends. He tapped his heels against George’s sides, urging the horse on. Kelly and William followed close behind.
“Ye’re a sight for sore eyes now,” Bear said as he reached them. “I see ye have a young visitor with ye, and a lot more stock than ye did when you left.”
“Good to finally see you too. Dragging this ornery mule has made me want to cut off this arm,” William said.
“Bear, this is Kelly McGuffin. Kelly this is our adopted brother, Bear McKee.” Stephen slid from the saddle and handed over the lead ropes. “Take these horses will you Bear?”
Bear took the two Stephen had led and got the horse Kelly pulled behind her.
“Is everyone all right?” Stephen asked Bear. He was most concerned about Jane, worried that her heart was still breaking. Afraid that she still hated him. Please God, let that not be so.
“Aye. They’re fine. We heard about some Indian trouble na too far away though. We’ve doubled our watch at night,” Bear said.
“What kind of trouble?” Stephen asked. He heard real worry in Bear’s tone.
“I’ll explain later,” Bear said, glancing at the young lady.
“Let’s catch up with the others then,” Stephen said, looking for Jane and hurrying toward her wagon. George followed behind him.
Jane quickly climbed down off her seat and rushed towards him. The children ran ahead of her. The girls and Little John were the first to reach him and grabbed him around the legs. He gave each a hug and pat on the head but his gaze never left Jane.
“You got a mule and some chickens,” Little John shouted.
“Why don’t you and the girls go see them,” Stephen said with a smile.
As Jane drew closer, tears welled up in her eyes at the sight of him. His heart raced as she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him fiercely.
Could this be the miracle he had prayed for?
As though she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, she did both. Her tears actually felt good against his face, washing away the pain, healing the anger. He tried kissing them away but there were too many.
He reached down to hold her waist and looked closely at her face. Had she forgiven him? It was there in her eyes. Love replaced the bitterness.
His heart nearly burst with joy. He hugged her so forcefully he worried he might be hurting her. He leaned back and gazed down at her. She was still crying. But these tears appeared to spring from joy not pain. He studied her face, soaking in every magnificent detail. Her eyes sparkled again with life and her smile made him want to weep his relief was so great.
She was so important to him. So much a part of him. He was nothing without her. “Jane,” was all he could say.
She tried to dry her tears with the back of her ha
nd. “Stephen, I love you. I’m so sorry. I was so wrong.”
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her passionately. He didn’t care who was watching. They were husband and wife, reconciled, lovers once again. He needed to taste Jane’s mouth, to feel her warmth, more than ever before. He wanted to kiss away all her heartaches, to sweep her up in his arms and carry her off to a secluded spot where he could show her how much he adored her.
He forced himself to pull back. His need to feel her passion, and share his, would have to wait for now.
After he caught his breath, and gave Jane one more spirited hug, he directed her attention toward Kelly, who had been speaking to Bear and the girls.
“Who is this pretty young lady?” Jane asked him.
“Her name is Kelly. I’ll explain later, after we get her settled,” he said, making it clear from his tone that she should ask no more questions.
“Greetings, my name is Jane.” She offered her hand to Kelly.
“Hello, I’m Kelly McGuffin,” Kelly replied timidly.
Stephen suspected that Kelly might be overwhelmed by such a boisterous group of strangers.
“Are those your chickens on the back of that mule? And is that your milk cow?” Jane asked.
Kelly nodded a yes to both questions.
Jane smiled warmly, linking her arm around Kelly’s elbow. “Why don’t you come with me and I’ll introduce you to my friend Catherine and the others.”
He watched Kelly stride toward her new life.
A life now linked by misfortune and fortune to the dreams of others.
CHAPTER 31
Stephen strode up as Jane tucked the girls and Little John into their pallets for the evening. She rejoiced that the sight of him made love swell in her heart again.
“Goodnight my bunnies, may the angels kiss your foreheads and bring you the sweetest of dreams,” she told them. She was anxious to find her own dreams. And, she was even more anxious to feel Stephen’s rock hard chest and strong arms envelop her again.
“Mama, tell us a story,” Polly pleaded. “It’s been so long since you’ve told us one. Please, please, just a short one will do.”
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