I move on top of her, and she holds my face in her hands.
“I love you,” rolls off her lips.
“I love you too,” I whisper, feeling every single word of it in my heart.
I make tender love to her, sprawled on the bearskin rug in front of the roaring fire. It’s unbelievably sensual and romantic. All of my senses are heightened. I make love to this woman, whom I’m lucky to call, the love of my life.
Chapter Nineteen
Nikki
After the most romantic night in front of the roaring fire of Chandler’s luxurious log cabin, Cassie offers to take me into town to do some shopping and have lunch together the next morning.
She comes by to pick me up and we head into Bozeman. We roam into a few shops filled with darling western-inspired clothing, and I find a pretty sundress and even sport a cowboy hat. I admire myself in the full-length mirror. I notice how relaxed I look. Taking all of my purchases to the cash register, the sales girl rings me up.
“I’m glad to see Chandler happy again,” Cassie says sweetly.
“Why do you say again?” I ask.
“He was down when he left home bound for anywhere else but here. We were worried about him settling in LA, the big city and all. But seeing the two of you together, I can tell it’s true love by the way you look at each other.”
“Yes, it’s true. I’ve fallen head over heels for your brother. How could any girl resist his gorgeousness and his down-home charm?”
“I agree, my brother is a sweetheart underneath his cowboy exterior.”
“Is Carrie the reason he fled Big Sky?”
“How did you know?” Cassie asks with a bewildered expression.
“When Chandler and I first started dating, she showed up on his doorstep.”
“You’re kidding me. The nerve of that hussy. She and his best friend, Duke, tore out Chandler’s heart. But Duke had always been jealous of Chandler, ever since they were kids. I could see it,” his little sister says vehemently.
“Does Duke still live in Big Sky?” I wonder.
“Yes, I still see the loser around from time to time. He works odd jobs here and there. The loser is still living at home.”
“Whatever happened between him and Carrie?”
“No sooner did Duke get her into bed then he dumped her. Chandler left town before their brief affair was over. No wonder she came running to LA. Trying to get him back, no doubt,” she says heatedly.
“She showed up one night at Chandler’s bungalow, and I left. Figured I’d let them enjoy their reunion. I suspected he had left a girl back home, and my prediction was correct. So I stormed out of his place, mad at myself for falling for him. But no sooner had I gotten home then he was knocking at my door.”
“And you let him in, right?” she asks, hopeful.
“Yes, he professed his love for me and told me Carrie had betrayed him. I knew he would never take her back.”
“Damn right. I can’t even stand to look at her when I see her in town. Oh my God, speak of the devil herself. She just walked in,” Cassie says.
I turn slightly in the direction of Cassie’s steely stare.
“She’s coming this way. She has her nerve.”
“Hi, Cassie.”
“Hello, Carrie.”
“Who’s your friend?” Carrie asks. She must not recognize me with my cowboy hat on.
“This is Nikki Russo, Chandler’s girlfriend,” Cassie replies, emphasizing the girlfriend.
“Oh, hi,” Carrie says, obviously taken aback.
“Hello. We’ve met before,” I remind her coolly.
“When did you get into town?”
“A few days ago.”
“Well, enjoy Big Sky,” Carrie says, turning on her heel and strolling out of the dining establishment.
“God, she burns me!” Cassie exclaims a little to loudly.
After lunch, we head back to the Winslow Ranch. Cassie brings me to her parents’ house, where Chandler is spending the day out on the ranch with his dad.
“How was lunch? Did you find anything shopping?” Mrs. Winslow asks, eyeing my bags.
“Lunch was good until Carrie showed up,” Cassie complains in distaste.
At the mere mention of the girl’s name, Mrs. Winslow’s face drops into a look of total disapproval.
“Don’t let that girl bother you, honey,” Mrs. Winslow says to her daughter. “What’s in the bags?” she turns and asks me.
I show her all of the goodies I found in town, the dress, jewelry, some cowboy boots, and my hat.
“Now you’ll look like you belong in Montana!” his darling mom shrills.
“I do love it here. You live in such a beautiful part of the country. Have you ever come down to visit Chandler in Los Angeles?” I ask.
“Once in the beginning, when he first told us he was settling there for awhile. I didn’t care for the big city much, but he seems to enjoy living in LA. He loves the beach, which is something we don’t have in these parts.”
While I’m enjoying some ice-cold lemonade in the kitchen with Kate and Cassie, in walks my rugged cowboy looking sexy as ever.
“Hey little lady, what’s in all these here bags?” I hear Chandler ask, closing the distance between us and giving me a peck on the lips.
“Cowgirl stuff,” I reply, happy to see him.
“You’ll make one darlin’ cowgirl, sweetheart,” he drawls.
Chandler and I leave to relax at his home before dinner.
“How was lunch and shopping with my sister?” he asks.
“Good, I had a wonderful time getting to know your sweetheart of a sister. She’s every bit as darling as you said she was. We did run into Carrie,” I tell him cautiously.
“You shittin’ me?” he says.
“Nope, wish I was.”
“Did Cassie scratch her eyes out?” he chuckles, trying to lighten the mood.
“Almost. If looks could kill, then Carrie would be dead. Your sister is very protective of you.”
“The feeling is mutual.”
Chandler gets quiet on me.
“What happened to my amiable and laid back cowboy?” I ask as I circle my arms around his neck and look up at him, my lips begging for a kiss.
“Sorry, my mind was wandering.”
I’m sure he must have been thinking about Carrie. I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It probably brought up old wounds.
“Let’s drive into town a little early before meeting my family for dinner. I want to stop in at the General Store and stock up on a few provisions,” he says like a real cowboy.
“Sounds good to me. Do we have time for a little afternoon delight?” I ask, this should cheer him up.
“You bet, Princess,” he replies. And with that he takes my hand and leads me to his bedroom.
Later, after I’ve been fully satisfied by my cowboy, we drive into town and park in front of the General Store. I guess every little town in these parts has a General Store.
We walk in, and it’s like stepping back in time—weathered wood floors, beamed ceilings, and glass cases filled with goods.
“Hi, Charles, it’s good to see you, old man,” Chandler says, smiling at the older gentleman behind the counter.
“Chandler, my boy. I haven’t seen you in months. Heard you moved to the big city,” Charles replies in a hoarse voice.
“Yes, moved to Los Angeles, California.”
“Wow, that’s as big city as you can get. Who do we have here?” Charles asks as his eyes sweep across my features.
“Charles, this is my girlfriend, Nikki Russo. Nikki, this is Charles. He’s a legend in these parts,” Chandler introduces us amiably.
“Pleasure to meet you, Charles.”
“Hey, little lady, you’ve hooked yourself a big fish there,” The man behind the counter drawls.
“Oh, really?” I ask, Charles has peaked my curiosity.
“Yes, don’t you know, the Winslow family owns this entire town and then some?” Charle
s lets out with a whistle.
“What are you filling her pretty little head with, Charles? Don’t listen to him, Nikki,” Chandler scoffs.
“Aww, Chandler here is just being modest. I’ve known him since he was a little puss in boots, causing a ruckus around here any chance he could. Ain’t that right, Chandler?” The older man teases with a twinkle in his eye.
“Whatever you say, Charles. Now, how about you get us those provisions we came in for? Here’s our list,” Chandler replies, placing his crumpled list on the counter.
Charles picks up the list and puts his wire-rimmed glasses on then disappears into the back to gather up the things we came in for.
“He’s a cute old man. Seems to me he could provide some good gossip for me,” I tease.
“Don’t listen to his nonsense. He’s just a senile old bugger,” Chandler says with great affection.
Charles comes back to the counter with his arms full of our groceries.
“I think this should do it,” he says.
“Great. Thanks, Charles. It was nice to see you.”
“It was nice to meet you, Nikki. Keep an eye on this one,” Charles says with a wink as he points a finger at Chandler, all in good fun.
“Oh, I will. It was nice to meet you too,” I reply with a grin and I follow Chandler out of the General Store and back into modern day.
Chapter Twenty
Nikki
We had the most amazing time in Montana together. I loved seeing where Chandler grew up, and his family is so special. They were so warm and welcoming. Lovely people. His Mom and sister both gave me the biggest hug when I left, inviting me back to visit as soon as possible. Our visit went better than I could’ve imagined. It appears that the Winslow family are billionaires. They own the town and hundreds of acres of land. Chandler had been so humble this entire time, never saying a word about his family’s vast wealth.
We’ve been back from Montana for a good three weeks or so when I realize I haven’t gotten my period for a while. I look at the calendar and count how many days it’s been since my last cycle. My heart starts to race when I see that I’m seriously late. There is no way I can be pregnant. I’ve been so diligent about taking my birth control. It must just be the traveling that’s making me late.
*****
God, I’m nervous as hell to tell Chandler the news. I’m afraid of his reaction. I hope it’ll be good, but you never can be sure. The last thing I ever wanted to happen to me would be to trap a man into marrying me. I’ve always been so careful about birth control in the past. I’m not sure how this happened—well, I do know how it happened, but I’m not sure why. I’ve been so diligent about taking my birth control pill every single day like clockwork.
I need to stop putting off the inevitable. I’ll have to break the news to him soon, and I’m dreading it. Whenever I think about it, I break out in a cold sweat and my heart feels like it’s going to jump out of my chest. Even if he claims he wants to marry me, I won’t do it. Shaking my head at myself and pounding my fist on my bed, I’m so angry I let this happen. I was raised in a traditional home with traditional values. You’re supposed to do things in order. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Underneath this successful and independent businesswoman lies an old-fashioned and traditional girl at heart. No one would ever believe it, but it’s true.
Chandler’s coming over tonight, like he does most nights. We spend most of our time together at my big new spread, enjoying the incredible ocean view every chance we get. This evening, we sit out on the terrace and enjoy martinis with some guacamole and chips before dinner. Maybe now is as good a time as any, I think to myself, and again, I’m starting to break out in a sweat. I almost start hyperventilating.
“Chandler, do you ever want kids someday?” I ask.
“Of course I do. Maybe not at this moment, but someday, yes, I would like to have little ones running around. Why? How about you? Do you want to have kids?”
“I never really thought much about it, but yes, I would like to be a mother someday,” I reply, realizing that it’s going to happen a lot sooner than either of us expected.
“Oh-oh, I smell the enchiladas. Hope they aren’t burning,” Chandler says, standing up quickly and going into the kitchen to check on them.
I take a sip of my martini and drink in the ocean view, then let out a long sigh. I can’t do this. I can’t bring myself to tell him. He’s not ready to be a father, and honestly, I’m not ready to be a mother. This is just so wrong and so out of order.
Once we sit down for dinner, Chandler asks, “You’ve been quiet lately. Is it something at Lipstick Kisses that’s upsetting you?”
“No, work’s fine.” God, should I just tell him now, get it over with?
“Is it something else?” he presses, concern on his face.
I pause for a long time before answering as I gather all the courage I can muster. “I’m pregnant.” I finally come out with it.
Now he pauses for what feels like an eternity.
“Wow, are you sure?” he groans.
“Yes, I took a home pregnancy test, but I haven’t been to the doctor yet.”
“Are those home tests even accurate?” he asks.
“When it says positive, I’m pretty sure they are,” I squeak out.
Stunned silence from Chandler. A long, deafening silence falls between us.
“If I am, and I’m pretty sure I am, I plan on having the baby,” I manage to swallow out.
“Oh, okay.” That’s it, that’s his reaction?
“But you don’t have to . . .” I start, but I can’t seem to finish my sentence.
“I don’t have to what?” he asks.
“Stick around and be a daddy.”
There, I said it. I don’t want him to feel trapped by me. Even though he is fifty percent responsible, I would never want to do that to him, or any guy, for that matter.
“Nikki, I love you. Of course I will be here for you and our baby.”
Yeah, he says that now.
My life has turned into an absolute mess.
“Well, I don’t ever want you to feel obligated or trapped, okay? I didn’t mean for this to happen, I swear. I’ve been so diligent about taking my birth control pills, so I don’t understand how this happened,” I say in a rush.
“I believe you,” he says calmly.
I feel anything but calm. This is definitely a the-sky-is-falling moment for me.
“It’s not supposed to happen this way. This is not how I mapped out my life.”
“Hey, darlin’, sometimes life doesn’t go as planned,” he says.
“My life does. I don’t have time to be a mother, but I can’t bring myself to do anything other than have the baby.”
He comes over to me and wraps his arms around me, and my eyes well with tears.
“I’m so scared, so vulnerable and so not in control of what’s happening in my life. It frightens me beyond belief.”
“We’ll get through this. A child is a blessing,” Chandler says, trying to comfort me.
We’re both somber. This is not how it’s supposed to be when you announce you’re pregnant to the father of your baby. It should be a joyous occasion, not some ugly surprise.
“Shhh, don’t cry, Nikki.”
“Why shouldn’t I be crying? Rather than being happy, I’m scared. Scared of how much my life will change, how my body will change,” I cry between the tears that are rolling down my cheeks.
“You mean how our life will change. Don’t forget to factor me into the equation,” he says, with an edge to his voice.
“Look, I said there’s no responsibility on your part. I would never want you to feel trapped. I can take care of myself and make my own decisions.”
“Dammit, Nikki. This is not some business deal. It’s a baby, our baby. So don’t think you can get rid of me or treat it like some business transaction. When will you turn off ‘work mode Nikki’, and turn on ‘the love
of my life Nikki’?” he asks heatedly.
I can’t stop crying. I’m a blubbering fool.
Chapter Twenty-One
Nikki
My life is an utter mess. I’ve never felt so out of control, spiraling downward. I’m scared, I’m depressed, and I’m emotional. No one can help me feel any better. I should be happy. I’m having a baby. Every woman wants to have a baby with a man they love, and I know I do. And I have that right now, but the timing is so wrong.
After Chandler got over the shock of it all, he has been trying to reassure me day in and day out that he loves me. I believe he loves me. I can tell by the way he looks at me and the way he holds my gaze, as if he can see into my soul. But I have to tell you, I never, ever wanted to be one of those girls who would resort to trapping a guy into marrying her. You know I am too damn independent and self-sufficient for that kind of nonsense. I’m determined to prove that this is not what I’m doing here. I’ve worked extra hard to be a self-supporting, successful businesswoman. And then I go and screw it all up—literally, right? I refuse to look weak and like some damsel in distress.
I wake up first this morning. Chandler looks so peaceful sleeping next to me. I gently raise my head off his chest and try to crawl out of bed without waking him. He rarely starts his workday early. He’s not a morning person.
I, on the other hand, like to get in early and get shit done, pardon my French.
“Where do you think you’re going?” my handsome lover drawls.
“Chandler, I need to get into work. I have orders to get out and deadlines to meet.”
“Don’t you have some time for love?” he asks in his husky bedroom voice, pulling me in close against his hard, warm body. Some parts are harder than others at the moment.
“Please don’t tempt me. I really need to get in the shower and start my day.”
“How about you start your day underneath me?” he asks wickedly, covering my lips with his.
I kiss him back, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“Now that’s better. I don’t want you rushing off before I’ve had a chance to thoroughly love you.”
Lipstick Kisses : A Sexy, Standalone Contemporary Romance Page 9