I guess those two risks were in my mind while I wrote this novel. I enjoyed imagining how each character was taking some pretty big emotional risks. Just like in real life, some of those risks didn’t turn out so well. However, I like to think that each character—like myself—became stronger because he or she chose to move forward instead of staying safe.
Whether you are a risk taker or not, thank you for continuing this journey with my characters in Hart County. I hope you enjoyed the book, and get ready for Her Fear. It’s the next book in the series and goes on sale in July 2018.
Questions for Discussion
As you might imagine, I thought a lot about taking risks while writing this novel. Are you a risk taker? Why or why not?
What was your first impression of Calvin Fisher? What were some of his strengths? What were some of his weaknesses and how did they hinder him?
Was Alice Yoder a good fit for Calvin? Why or why not? What were her areas of growth?
I wrestled with West’s character quite a bit while writing this book. Even though he didn’t always display a lot of heroic qualities, I thought he did act heroically on a number of occasions. How did you feel about him?
Most of the storyline revolved around Calvin and his relationships with Alice, West, and his brother, Mark. How do you think each of those characters influenced and helped Calvin grow and mature?
My favorite character in the novel ended up being Irene. I thought she had a lot to offer both Alice and West. What do you think should happen in her future?
The following verse from Psalm 32 guided my writing of this novel. What does the verse mean to you? You are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory. Psalm 32:7
I felt like the following Amish proverb was written for Calvin! Do you know of someone in your life who might find it helpful as well? You can’t change what is going on around you until you change what is going on within you.
Read on
A Sneak Peek from the Next Book in the Hart County Amish Series
Coming July 2018 from Avon Inspire!
UNTIL THAT MOMENT, she hadn’t thought mere words could hurt so badly. But as Harlan continued to speak, each word cutting her as deeply as if he’d been holding a shard of glass, Sadie Detweiler felt as if her heart was bleeding. For a moment, she even wished she was feeling her father’s cane on the backs of her thighs instead. That pain, at least, was familiar and fleeting.
She knew she’d be hurting from Harlan’s words for the rest of her life.
“Are you positive you are pregnant?” Harlan asked for at least the third time. He scanned her body slowly, obviously searching for changes in her shape. “Maybe you are mistaken.”
If Sadie was bolder, she would have told him about her missed periods, about the early morning nausea, even about her English friend Ana buying her a pregnancy test at a pharmacy two towns over. But Sadie could no more have told Harlan such personal information than she could have pulled off her kapp and started dancing in the middle of Sunday’s church service.
All she could give Harlan was her honesty. “Jah. I am sure. I am going to have a boppli. I’m gonna have our baby, Harlan.”
His eyes narrowed. “How do you know for sure that I’m the father?”
The pain in her heart got worse. “How could you ask me such a thing?”
“What? It’s a legitimate question.” He was looking like a stranger now. Nothing like the man who’d been courting her for months, who had whispered sweet things while they’d kissed. Who’d murmured fierce promises just before he’d led her into his barn late one night.
Unable to look him in the eye, Sadie stared down at her feet. “You . . . You know that you were my first.”
He made an impatient sound, as if the moment that had changed her life meant nothing to him. “That was two months ago. How am I supposed to know for sure that you haven’t been with someone else since then?”
Stunned, she lifted her head again. Stared at him.
Harlan was looking at her as if she was a stranger. Nee, as if she was a pest. Maybe vermin. Something akin to her being a fuzzy green caterpillar on an ear of corn he was about to eat.
His blue eyes, which she’d once thought were so perfect, now looked distant and cold. His hands, the ones that he used to whisper with—and that couldn’t stop touching her—were now clenched by his sides.
And she’d at last come to terms with the truth. He wasn’t going to hold her, beam with pride that their babe was growing inside her, or even ask her to marry him. Yes, that had to be it. He was in shock.
Too dazed by her news to know what to say or to make plans.
She was going to have to be the strong one.
Clearing her throat, Sadie attempted to keep her voice calm and steady. “When should we tell our parents? I was thinking maybe it would be best to do it today. That way, it’s out in the open and we won’t have to worry about their reaction.”
He shook his head. “I’m not going to tell my parents anything.”
“Nee? Well, they’re going to be mighty surprised when we get married and have a baby right away.”
“I ain’t marrying you, Sadie.”
“But I’m pregnant.”
“Maybe. And maybe with my baby.”
“We’ve been courting. Everyone expects it. . .” She’d been expecting it.
“So? I know you’ve heard the rumors. Our church district has grown so much, the men are going to draw for the lot soon. More than one of the elders have asked me to consider putting my name in.”
“My father was one of them,” Sadie said. Harlan was acting as if only one of them had a good reputation and was from a good family.
“Your father is well respected and he respects me, too. He won’t if he finds out that we were making babies in my barn when you were supposed to be at home and in bed.”
Sadie felt a bolt of triumph. Finally, he was admitting what they’d done. But then his words registered.
None of what he was saying had much to do with her, or their future. He was talking about things that didn’t really matter. And as if they had a choice in the matter.
Once again, she tried to bring his focus back to reality. “This baby ain’t going to disappear, Harlan. It’s coming in six or seven months. We need to make plans.”
He drew in a sharp breath. “You could get rid of it. Then no one would ever know.”
She stepped back, reeling from what he was saying. “I would know and so would you! Besides, I could never do that.”
“If that’s the case, then you’re on your own.”
She was on her own?
When he turned away, she raced up to him and gripped his shoulder. “Harlan, I know you’re upset, but I have to tell my parents. And you know what will happen then. My father will pay a visit to you,” she said in a rush. “Think what will happen then!”
He smiled. “You tell them what you want, but I know what I’m going to say.”
“What?”
“That I don’t know who you slept with, but it surely wasn’t me.”
Ignoring the pain that each word caused, she whispered, “If you do that, I’ll tell them you’re lying.”
“Will you?” He smiled softly. “Sadie, jah, you do that. Go ahead and tell them what you want. Say whatever you want about me . . . but I think we both know who is going to be believed.”
When he turned and walked away, she finally allowed the tears to fall down her cheeks. She was very afraid that he would be right.
The very next morning, sitting gingerly in the buggy with a cloth tote bag on her lap, Sadie swallowed hard on the lump that had formed in her throat and seemed content to dwell there for the upcoming journey. Harlan had been very right.
She’d gone home, told her parents the news, and had been subjected to both her father’s vicious words and two strikes from his cane. Then her parents locked her in her room while they went to go speak to Harlan.
She’d wai
ted anxiously, sure that Harlan’s lies would be discovered and that they’d return home with a plan for her. But even when she heard the front door open and her parents’ footsteps on the stairs, neither one came to her door.
Instead, she discovered that they had plans for her at five o’clock that morning, when her mother rushed into her room, told her to hurriedly get dressed and to pack all her belongings in a fabric tote bag.
That was also when she learned that her parents’ plan had nothing to do with Harlan. It had everything to do with a long-lost set of relatives with whom her father’s father had had a falling out with decades before.
She was being sent away.
“Willis and Verba are the worst sort of Amish,” her father said almost laconically as he drove her in their buggy to the bus stop. “They have loose morals, and live in the middle of Kentucky. But they are family, so they’ll likely take you in.”
Likely? He wasn’t even sure? “I don’t want to go,” she blurted. Honestly, she would rather get beaten with a cane again than be alone and afraid in the middle of a strange place.
Without a second’s pause, her father pulled over the buggy to the side of the road. “Then get out.”
“What?”
“You’ve embarrassed and shamed me enough,” he said, his expression thunderous. “As far as I’m concerned, you ain’t no kin of mine. Not any longer. I can only blame it on the devil that is lurking inside of you, since you are continuing to lie to me about who the father of the baby you’re carrying really is.”
“I didn’t lie about Harlan. He really is the father.”
“He’s got no reason to lie, girl. Don’t you understand? If it was that he rushed things, everyone might talk a bit, put the blame on you both being in love and anxious.”
“But that is what happened!”
“He says it didn’t.”
“But—”
“Don’t argue with me. Now, either get out here or get on the bus to Willis and Verba. What are you going to do?”
She had no choice. “I’ll get on the bus, Father.”
His body stiffened as he guided the horse back on the road. “Don’t call me that ever again. I’m not your father. You are nothing to me.”
Sadie didn’t say another word during the rest of the journey. Or when he bought her a bus ticket and grudgingly gave her five dollars in case she needed something to eat or drink.
All she could think about when she sat on the warm bus, surrounded by strangers, the majority of whom were English, was that she finally understood what fear really was.
Fear was being alone. Of being in pain.
And realizing that anyone could betray her. Anyone.
She hoped she never forgot that again.
Discover great authors, exclusive offers, and more at hc.com.
Also by Shelley Shepard Gray
SISTERS OF THE HEART SERIES
Hidden • Wanted • Forgiven • Grace
SEASONS OF SUGARCREEK SERIES
Winter’s Awakening • Spring’s Renewal
Autumn’s Promise • Christmas in Sugarcreek
FAMILIES OF HONOR SERIES
The Caregiver • The Protector • The Survivor
A Christmas for Katie (novella)
THE SECRETS OF CRITTENDEN COUNTY SERIES
Missing • The Search • Found • Peace
THE DAYS OF REDEMPTION SERIES
Daybreak • Ray of Light • Eventide • Snowfall
RETURN TO SUGARCREEK SERIES
Hopeful • Thankful • Joyful
AMISH BRIDES OF PINECRAFT SERIES
The Promise of Palm Grove
The Proposal at Siesta Key
A Wedding at the Orange Blossom Inn
A Wish on Gardenia Street (novella)
A Christmas Bride in Pinecraft
THE CHARMED AMISH LIFE SERIES
A Son’s Vow • A Daughter’s Dream
A Sister’s Wish • An Amish Family Christmas
THE AMISH OF HART COUNTY SERIES
Her Secret • His Guilt • The Gift
Copyright
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
P.S.™ is a trademark of HarperCollins Publishers.
HIS RISK. Copyright © 2018 by Shelley Shepard Gray. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-book.
Cover photograph and design by Laura Klynstra
FIRST EDITION
Digital Edition MARCH 2018 ISBN: 978-0-06-246916-8
Version 01092018
Print ISBN: 978-0-06-246915-1 (paperback)
ISBN: 978-0-06-281987-1 (library edition)
About the Publisher
Australia
HarperCollins Publishers Australia Pty. Ltd.
Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street
Sydney, NSW 2000, Australia
www.harpercollins.com.au
Canada
HarperCollins Canada
2 Bloor Street East - 20th Floor
Toronto, ON M4W 1A8, Canada
www.harpercollins.ca
New Zealand
HarperCollins Publishers New Zealand
Unit D1, 63 Apollo Drive
Rosedale 0632
Auckland, New Zealand
www.harpercollins.co.nz
United Kingdom
HarperCollins Publishers Ltd.
1 London Bridge Street
London SE1 9GF, UK
www.harpercollins.co.uk
United States
HarperCollins Publishers Inc.
195 Broadway
New York, NY 10007
www.harpercollins.com
His Risk Page 23