by Donna Alward
She left the exam room, put the chart on Robin’s desk, and went to the kitchen for an apple or yogurt or something else to keep her going until quitting time. The problem with this whole platonic/professional thing was that Lizzie was having a difficult time forgetting. Maybe it had been the dry spell since breaking things off with Ian in April. But really, she’d had much longer dry spells than that before and had felt none of the preoccupation she was feeling now.
Which meant, she supposed, that her ego was the problem. Josh was so good at putting that Sunday behind them that her pride was stinging a little bit. Particularly since she was unable to forget a single second. And she spent far too much time, alone in the cottage at night, imagining what it might have been like if they’d had protection and had made love the way their bodies had demanded.
Far too much time. Maybe she should just go for broke and proposition him to a night of hot sex at the cottage.
She was thoughtlessly shoving Greek yogurt into her mouth when her office phone rang. When she picked it up, it was Robin’s voice on the other end. “Lizzie, Sarah’s on the line for you. Do you have time to talk to her?”
Josh’s sister. Why that made Lizzie nervous she didn’t know. It wasn’t like Sarah knew what had transpired between Lizzie and Josh. “Put her through, thanks, Robin.”
There was a click. “Hi, Sarah?”
“Lizzie.” Sarah’s voice was warm on the other end. “Hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time. Listen, Mark and Matt went out this morning and brought back a mess of fish. I’m having a big fry here tonight and wondered if you’d like to join us.”
Lizzie hesitated. She wasn’t sure who “us” meant. “Tonight?”
“It’s better fresh. We pool the deep fryers. One for fish, one for fresh-cut fries, and Jess makes the coleslaw. I’ve got far more than our little family can eat. We do this several times a summer anyway. If you don’t have plans…”
She should say no, but the alternatives were going home to make yet another salad with chicken on the top and begging for a seat at Charlie’s table, where Lizzie always felt like she was intruding on Charlie and Dave’s love nest.
“I don’t know, Sarah.…”
“Well, there’s lots if you decide to come. No pressure.”
Now she felt bad, because she sensed the ever-hospitable Sarah was a little bit offended. “If I did come,” Lizzie asked, “what should I bring?”
Sarah’s voice perked up considerably. “I haven’t had time to make dessert today. A pan of brownies wouldn’t be amiss.”
Lizzie felt marginally better. Like she was asked to be included as the provider of a part of the meal, not just a guest. “I can do that.”
“Great! Come over around six.”
Lizzie sat back in the chair. “Excuse me for asking the obvious, but is Josh going to be there?”
Sarah laughed. “Wow, you guys don’t talk at work at all, do you? Of course he’s going to be there. I asked him to ask you a few days ago, when Matt and Mark made the fishing plans. But typical Josh. So focused he forgot.”
Now Lizzie was regretting agreeing. Josh didn’t forget things like that. He’d deliberately not asked her, like he didn’t want her included in their family meal. And now she couldn’t back out, not without looking like an idiot or, even worse, like she was not going because of Josh.
Damn him to hell.
“I’ll see you at six,” she replied. “Gotta run. I have an appointment in a few minutes.”
“Bye, Lizzie.”
She hung up, took one look at her yogurt, and threw the rest of the container in the trash. It would be fine. She’d show up at six, dessert in hand, stay long enough to eat, and then blast off. She could certainly come up with some excuse. A headache, or an early morning, or needing to stop off at Charlie’s on the way home.
At four o’clock Lizzie stopped at the kitchen for a glass of water when Josh came out of his office, looking delectable in his customary jeans and golf shirt. Lizzie had noticed the differences in their appearance this week. Josh was right. She leaned toward conservative dress at work, from her hairstyle down to her low heels. Just because it was a small community practice didn’t mean she should sacrifice her professional image.
And maybe that was the problem with a town this size. In the city, she was able to compartmentalize work and play. The two didn’t encroach on each other, because away from the hospital she could enjoy a sort of anonymity that wasn’t possible here. In Jewell Cove it was all tied up together. No privacy.
“Hey,” she offered, topping up her glass. “Busy day?”
“Not bad. You?”
“A fun case of poison ivy.” She grinned. “In a most unfortunate spot.” She hesitated, then felt they needed to clear the air. “Josh, about the atmosphere around here…”
She couldn’t read his expression. Apparently she wasn’t the only one who could put on a work face.
“I just … I don’t know. I appreciate the emphasis on keeping it professional, but it’s almost like…”
“Like it never happened?”
They kept their voices low. There were patients in the waiting room; Robin wasn’t far away, either.
“Well, yeah.”
Josh ran his fingers over his hair. “I thought you’d prefer it this way. To be honest, it’s been hellish. I really haven’t known what to say to you.”
She let out a relieved breath. “It got weird.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.” Lizzie looked toward the door again and then back to Josh. “Listen, your sister called and invited me to dinner tonight. If it’ll be too awkward for you, I can cancel. I’ll think of something.”
“Damn.” Josh closed his eyes for a minute. “That’s tonight. And Sarah told me to ask you and I forgot.”
“You forgot?” She raised an eyebrow at him.
He shrugged. “I did, to be honest. I was on my way to Mom’s to take a look at her kitchen drain when she called, and then it went right out of my head.”
Lizzie wasn’t sure she believed him, but she could hardly accuse him of lying. “I’ll tell her I had a last-minute call or something. Don’t worry about it.”
“Don’t be silly. I should have cleared the air days ago. Of course you should come. Sarah will be offended if you don’t.”
Lizzie was just deliberating when Robin came rushing down the hall. “Josh? Lizzie? Luke Pratt just came in complaining of chest pain. He’s in the first exam room.”
The topic of dinner was quickly forgotten. Lizzie and Josh darted out of the kitchen, making a beeline for the first room on the left. Luke was sitting on the bed. His normally florid face was gray and clammy, and his lips looked pinched as he breathed, a bit too shallowly for Lizzie’s liking.
“Mr. Mayor,” Josh greeted him, his voice firm and reassuring. “Not feeling so great today?”
“I felt off all morning, but about fifteen minutes ago the pain started.” His breath shook. “Thought it was heartburn at first until it started going down my arm.”
“Robin, call an ambulance, please. I think we’d best get Luke to the hospital.” Josh turned to Luke and gave his shoulder a reassuring pat. “I’m going to get you an aspirin, Luke. Dr. Howard’s going to have a listen and see what’s going on in there.”
She looked up at Josh, wondering why he was stepping back when Luke was clearly his patient. He shrugged. “You probably see more of this than I do these days.”
In seconds she’d unbuttoned Luke’s plaid shirt and was listening to his heart. The beat had slowed and she was worried he might pass out. Josh came back with the aspirin and told Luke to chew it, rather than swallow. The older man did as he was told while Lizzie rolled up his sleeve and took his blood pressure. It, too, was lower than she would have liked. “Mr. Pratt, I’m going to get you to lie down. The ambulance will be here soon.” She made him comfortable on the bed and put a pillow under his feet and then went for the portable oxygen they had on-site. “This will help you breath
e a little easier.” She checked her watch. With a heart attack, time meant muscle, and she wanted to ensure that Luke was looked after as soon as possible to decrease the permanent damage.
When Luke was resting quietly, Lizzie looked over at Josh. “How long does an ambulance take?”
“Not long. It’s only been five minutes, Lizzie.”
It was the first emergency situation she’d dealt with since May. Her adrenaline was pumping and she was frustrated that she couldn’t simply order the tests she wanted right now. If they were in Springfield …
But they weren’t. They were here, in Jewell Cove, where an ambulance had to come from the nearest emergency services station and patients had to be transported to another town for treatment. In Jewell Cove she could treat colds and asthma, give vaccines, and do routine physicals, but very little lifesaving was done.
She missed it. Acutely.
The ambulance arrived, and two EMTs came in with a stretcher for transporting Luke, who continued to be weak and clammy. As they moved him to the stretcher, Lizzie gave them the rundown on his condition.
Josh put his hand on her shoulder. “If you want to ride along, I can hold down the fort.”
“Are you sure?” She did want to go.
“Yep. Other than the aspirin, you’ve run this one. Go ahead. Besides, I’ll feel better if one of us is with him. He doesn’t really have anyone else.”
“Thanks, Josh.” As Luke was wheeled out to the waiting ambulance, she rushed to her office for her purse. “I’ll try to be back for supper, but if not give Sarah my apologies, will you?”
“Of course.”
They’d already inserted a cannula for fluids as Lizzie jumped in the back of the ambulance with one of the attendants. The other hopped up front to drive. As they pulled out of the lot and the sirens blared, Lizzie smiled grimly. Other than the brief time she’d spent on the island with Josh, this was the most alive she’d felt in months.
She knew where she belonged. At some point she was going to have to work on getting back there again.
* * *
Lizzie briefly considered not going to Sarah’s, but it was too late now. Jeff and Scott, the EMTs, had considerately dropped her outside Sarah’s house when they returned to Jewell Cove. She could always walk back to the clinic for her car, but she could hear laughter from inside the house and she was drawn to the happy sound.
It had been a hell of a ride to the hospital.
She shouldered her handbag and walked down the narrow drive to the house, following the chatter of voices through a fence gate and into the backyard. Rick was playing soccer with Josh’s nephew, Matt, while his niece, Susan, challenged Josh to a game of bocce ball. Josh smacked his head and let out a cry of disgust as Susan’s green ball came closest to the little white one, and Lizzie smiled. This was what family was supposed to be like. It’s what things had been like in her childhood, though it was usually friends playing in the backyard and not extended family.
Remembering made her lonely and homesick. For the second time today.
“Lizzie, you made it!”
Sarah called out her name, Josh turned around and saw her, and everything seemed to pause for a long, long second.
She diverted her attention from Josh, who was now dressed in khaki shorts and a T-shirt, and faced his sister Sarah with a smile. “Sorry I’m late. And I didn’t have a chance to pick up dessert. The guys from the ambulance dropped me off.”
Sarah waved a hand at her, dismissing her apology. “No worries at all. Meggie brought cookies and we always have ice cream in the freezer anyway. You must be hungry. We’ll get you something fresh and you can tell us how our favorite mayor is doing.”
Lizzie let out a sigh and followed Sarah to the deck.
“Mark? Plug in the fryer again. I’m going to make a fresh batch for Lizzie.”
“Yes, dear!” Mark called down, and Lizzie caught him winking at his wife. He disappeared and Lizzie heard some clanging about up top.
“Sarah, don’t go to any bother. I know you’ve already eaten. I just wanted to stop by.”
“Nonsense. I’m going to let you in on a secret that no one in the family knows.” She led the way up the stairs to the deck, gave her husband a quick kiss, and went on to the kitchen through sliding doors. Once the doors were closed behind them, Sarah went to the pantry and took out a storage container. “Before I tell you, you have to swear you won’t breathe a word. My beer batter is a thing of legend in this family.”
Lizzie couldn’t help but smile and she crossed her heart. “Promise.”
Sarah grabbed a bottle of beer, popped the top, and snagged a small mixing bowl. “It’s pancakes.”
“Excuse me?”
Sarah giggled. “My secret batter recipe! It’s pancake mix and beer. Everyone thinks I have this secret recipe, but I leave it up to Aunt Jemima.”
Lizzie laughed. “I promise I won’t breathe a word.”
Sarah whisked together the dry mix with the beer until it was the proper consistency and then went to the fridge for another container that held fish fillets. “Come on out. We’ll dip and fry. There should be some potatoes left, too, we can do up, if you don’t mind them cooked in the same grease.”
“I can feel my arteries hardening already.” She grinned.
Out on the deck again, they were joined by Jess and Abby and Meggie, who’d been out in Sarah’s flower garden when Lizzie had arrived. Meggie snagged the rest of the bottle of beer and took a long swig while Jess settled her very pregnant bulk into an Adirondack chair. “God. Now I’m in this thing and I don’t think I’ll be able to get out.”
Lizzie laughed. There was a sizzle as Sarah dropped fish into the hot grease and followed it with a handful of raw potato strips. Tom came up and grabbed a beer for himself and a can of ginger ale for Abby, who sent him a sweet smile. The bocce game ended, and by the time the fish was golden brown and turned out onto a paper towel to drain a bit the whole family was on the deck, a string of patio lights turned on and the mood definitely mellow.
“I love summer,” Rick said, snagging a stool and sitting beside Jess. “I especially love being part of this family. Good times,” he finished, and lifted his soda.
Jess curled up close to him. “And this family loves you, too,” she reminded him.
“You all seem really close,” Lizzie observed. “That’s nice.”
There were some chuckles among the nodding. “Well, we have our moments. But the latest is that Rick and Abby are actually cousins. Their grandmothers were sisters.”
“And you didn’t know about each other?”
Abby and Rick shared a significant look. “It surprised us both,” Abby said, laughing. “Long story. Come over for lunch in the garden and I’ll share it sometime.”
Garden lunches. Normally that would be a little slow for Lizzie’s speed, but it sounded strangely enjoyable. “We’ll make a date.”
Josh leaned against the deck railing, waiting for the conversation to wear itself out. “So, Lizzie, what’s the update on Luke?”
Lizzie sighed as Sarah placed a plate heaped with fish, fries, and coleslaw before her. “Well, he’ll be in the hospital for a while. I had hoped that the damage to the heart was minimal, but he deteriorated on the trip.” She met Josh’s eyes. “He coded once, but we brought him back. When I left he was in the Cardiac ICU, stabilized.”
The mood of the family grew somber. “It’s that bad, then,” Meggie said quietly, her brow furrowed in worry.
“I’m going to check in with his cardiologist tomorrow afternoon, look at his test results.” Lizzie smiled at everyone. “Listen, he came in right away, and got prompt treatment. And Luke strikes me as a strong, vital man. I wouldn’t count him out yet.”
“Thanks for going with him,” Josh said. “I’m glad he wasn’t alone.”
“He’s my patient,” she responded simply, and picked up her fork.
But as the conversation started up again, she thought about her last words
. As an emergency doctor, she triaged, treated, and sent patients on to where they needed to be in order to make room for the next. Sure, now and again she followed up on an interesting case or a patient would stop by the emergency room with a thanks, but for the most part she didn’t follow patients through to their recovery. She didn’t get involved. Luke shouldn’t be any different, but for some reason he was.
“How’s the fish?” Josh asked, pulling up a chair beside her.
“Delicious.” She dipped a piece in homemade tartar sauce and popped it in her mouth. “Best beer batter I’ve ever had.” She winked at Sarah, who winked back.
“Mark puts seasoning salt on his fries. Jess made the coleslaw. It’s our grandmother’s dressing recipe.”
“I was hungrier than I thought,” Lizzie admitted, biting off half a French fry. “Have you ever noticed how fish-and-chips taste better outdoors?”
He smiled. “Almost as good as picnics.”
Her face heated.
“You’re sure Luke is okay?” He asked it in an undertone.
Lizzie wiped her fingers on a paper napkin. “Honestly? No. I don’t like that he coded at all. But the tests will give a better picture. I still don’t understand why you asked me to go with him and not you. He knows you better.”
“Because you’re an emergency doctor and I’m a family physician. And you’re hanging around Jewell Cove when you’re used to a faster pace. I haven’t forgotten that.”
She hadn’t, either. Though she wasn’t remembering as often as she usually did. And that was worrisome.
“You’re a good doctor, Lizzie. I knew he was in good hands.”
Her heart warmed. “Josh, your belief in me is probably misplaced.” It pained her to say it, but it was true. “I’ve made mistakes—”
“Haven’t we all,” he said firmly. “And I’d like to think that your time here has helped you past the burnout you were experiencing last spring.”