by R. W. Holmes
“You can't” said Kiki, before attempting to break the wax seals herself. “They're indestructible. We use to have a dossier with all the things tried to open it up. Lasers, diamond blades... nothing worked. They even dropped it into an nuclear blast once, and the scroll was completely fine.”
Angelica began dancing in place as her nerves began to get the better of her.
“Come on! Just let me bring it outside” she said quickly. “Maybe we can make a better decision after I've been given more instructions.”
“How about you ask what you're supposed to do after you bring the scroll outside?” asked Emily.
Angelica frowned. “I don't think it wo-,”
“Someone will come. They will not harm you or your friends. When they have departed, your soul will be freed.”
“Death says someone will come and take the scroll from me” said Angelica. “And once they leave, I get my soul back.”
The room grew silent once more as everyone retreated to the safety of their minds for silent deliberation.
“Shay” said Emily.
“Yes?”
“I really, really just want to let her do it.”
Emily and Shay exchanged concerned looks, and Artemis reached out to take the scroll from the safe. No one stopped him, and everyone continued to not stop him when he passed the scroll to Angelica.
“Make this quick” Emily said reluctantly. “Shay and I are going to watch from up here.”
Angelica nodded and hurried downstairs, past the array of tripped traps, and out onto the sidewalk just below Emily and Shay's vantage point on the second floor. As if on cue, a large, black SUV with heavily tinted windows pulled around the corner and drove directly up to Angelica.
The rear passenger window nearest Angelica rolled down, and for a moment, Angelica could feel nothing but dread at what was going to come.
“Oh no...” Shay gasped. “No no no no! This can't be good!”
“What?” asked Emily. “Who is it? I can't tell from here.”
“It's Allen!” Shay hissed fearfully, helpless to do anything as Angelica handed the scroll to the passenger. “Why is Allen Olmstead the person Death is in contact with? He was just trying to kill us a moment ago!”
“How would Allen even know to contact Death!?” Emily shrieked in bewilderment.
Angelica, conscious of nothing but how close her freedom was anymore, quickly and gratefully passed the scroll to Allen as Artemis eyed the figures in the vehicle menacingly.
“Wonderful doing business with you” Allen said with a smile. “You tell your friends to rest easy, now. And you can consider the R'lyehans off your back for good!”
Angelica cocked her brow curiously, unsure of what Allen meant, before she and Artemis were left to watch dumbly as the vehicle sped off with its prize.
A moment later, Emily and Shay came charging out of the building with Kiki following cautiously behind.
“Oh God! What have we done!?” Emily cried out in horror.
“W-What!?” Angelica shrieked as she spun to face them. “Everything happened like it was supposed to!”
“That was Allen Olmstead!” snapped Shay. “He's-, Oh no... You weren't there, were you? You didn't show up until after Allen had already run for it.”
“War said this would happen, too” Emily moaned in defeat. “He said we wouldn't know what we've done until it was too late.”
“So they followed us” said Shay. “But why mess with us at the church then? Why attack Gael at all? What don't we know!?”
Chapter 13
Regret
Several hours ago, when Enterprise Island was still in the process of falling apart and an angel and an imp had just succeeded in bringing down a shoggoth together, a man fleeing for the starport succeeded in returning to his ship.
Allen Olmstead, a little worse for wear, but otherwise fine, hurried aboard and called to the pilots to depart.
“How did it go?”
Allen scowled at the fishy, bug-eyed creature sitting opposite him. Despite the fishy smell and general humanoid form, the color of the creature's skin ended up giving it an appearance that was decidedly frog-like.
“They're alive” Allen replied glumly. “Overkill! That's what I needed. The first man to summon a demon in thousands of years did not disappoint.”
“It's better this way” the frog-like creature insisted. “I've received a call from home, from Y'ha-nthlei. Robert says Abdul's book has begun speaking to him.”
“The Necro-,” Allen started, before quickly being shushed by the frog creature sitting opposite him.
“We wait in the shadows” he said. “We follow this demonologist. A force with even more eyes than ourselves predicts the death of Doug Gander soon, and he predicts the demonologist's demon will carry it out.”
“What of it?” asked Allen.
“Doug Gander has something” replied the creature. “Something powerful, and important. It is wanted, and Robert wishes you extend an olive branch to this demonologist as well. He stands only to get in our way after this is done.”
Allen sighed and nodded. “I can't wait till I'm done with this horrible shell of a body” he muttered melodramatically. “I ache for the secrets of my elders.”
“My dear grandson, you will have them in time” the creature replied coldly.
“Do you even have your soul back?” asked Emily. “Please, for the love of God, tell me that much at least has been done.”
“I-I... Yes?” Angelica replied uncertainly. “I feel more... here, I guess? I don't feel this great, terrible thing looming over my shoulder anymore.” Angelica's eyes lit up. “I could go back to the church!” she exclaimed confidently. “The angel, he will know.”
“Always with the angel...” groaned Shay. “Can we meet him somewhere other than a church this time?”
“I feel it necessary to remind everyone now that Gael specifically requested we not do anything someone might regret until he returns” said Artemis.
“Why!?” hissed Angelica. “Why would you bring that up while we're all already losing our minds?
“Because Gael's truck is approaching” replied Artemis.
Angelica went pale, Shay reflexively turned herself invisible, and Emily flat out made a dash for the front door.
It had been locked.
“Kiki!” shouted Emily. “Kiki! Open the door!”
“I'm more afraid of the imp and the summoner than you” Kiki called from within. “It's better this way.”
“How is this better!?” screamed Emily.
“I'm on the winning team.”
The truck pulled up, and Gael and Zinerva hopped out with large, brown paper bags to present to the others.
“Lunch time!” they said happily.
“How are things going?” Gael added expectantly.
“We gave something away” Emily called helplessly from the building's front door. “For Angelica' soul. And we didn't know what it was, which was fine, because no one does, but we know who got it. We didn't know who was coming for it, that was a mistake, and now we don't know what's going to happen, and-,”
Gael looked to Zinerva as Emily continued to ramble.
“Are you getting any of this?” he asked her.
“They gave away something special we don't understand” replied Zinerva. “And they gave it to someone we don't want to have it, I think.”
Gael turned back to Emily and the others and asked, “Who got the thing?”
“Allen Olmstead” said Emily.
“I didn't know who it was!” Angelica exclaimed fearfully. “They made me go downstairs to do the hand off alone, and-,”
Gael held up a hand, and everyone went silent. He took a moment to think, pondering the consequences of their actions, before asking, “Did you at least contact War about the object first?”
Shay reappeared beside Emily and muttered, “We should have waited for him to get back before deciding anything. You're too sentimental!”
“I'm sorry!” Emily blared frantically. “I've done too much on too little sleep! We all have, and-,”
“Okay seriously, I just want to eat some food and pretend this never happened” Gael interjected indifferently. “Because you're right, we're on too little sleep and not enough food. Hell, I don't have the energy to be upset! Angelica?”
“Yes?” Angelica murmured apprehensively.
“I'm really glad you got your soul back” said Gael. “You did get it back, right?”
“I-I think so” said Angelica. “I feel better, and I don't feel like I'm somewhere else at the same time. Also, Death hasn't talked to me again since. That's a good sign right?”
Gael groaned and shook his head. “Kiki!” he called. “Come get your food.”
Emily yelped as the door opened behind her and she fell back into the building, and yelped again when Kiki, small once more, ran right over her in a mad dash to the bags Gael and Zinerva were holding.
“Great, you're in charge of it now. How has packing everything else up gone?” Gael asked as he passed both bags to Kiki.
“Oh, they're already in secure containers” said Kiki. “And I gave the codes to Emily. I left the 'explodey' one in with the bunch just in case someone tries to intercept the goods as a thank you for the hot dog.”
Gael stared back at Kiki for a moment and smirked. “You know how some dogs are so ugly they're kind of cute?”
Kiki paused as she began to open the bag.
“You're not that kind of ugly” said Gael. “Like, I wanted to say it, but there's just no way... I like you though. I think I've figured out that honesty is rare in fae.”
“Oh, yeah, all of my friends tell me I have a great personality” Kiki remarked bitterly.
“This one bought you hot dogs” replied Gael.
Kiki nodded and smiled as she retrieved the first of many Chicago-style hot dogs within. “You are now my best friend.”
“Gael!” Emily called from the doorway of Kiki's house. “Come help me move this stuff!”
“Do you want Artemis to help?” Angelica offered quickly.
“No, we need to talk” replied Emily. “You all enjoy your food.”
Gael sighed and stepped over to Emily's side, before joining her on a trip back up to Kiki's workshop. Once inside, Emily quickly began stacking various lock boxes and small safes by order of importance.
“It's time you came to understand 'the business' of the Outcasts” said Emily. “Because this is it. These objects, they're all relics and artifacts and creations lost to time. Some of them are biblical, some of them are fae, and some of them are dark, twisted things from the R'lyehans ancient, sunken cities. Some of them are not even that, as in, like, mega old. We usually sell those to collectors, but on really rare occasion we find some ancient tool that exploits a weakness in a fae or R'lyehan we don't understand.”
“So basically, The Fae are afraid of screwing with you Outcasts because you're sitting on a pile of ancient weapons that can't be quantified” replied Gael.
“Oh, not just that” replied Emily. “We're collectors, yes, and collecting you was certainly something I decided to go for as a measure of making us more dangerous, but the thing about The Fae is... they're one of our biggest customers. The R'lyehans are extremely dangerous, and Earth has extraordinary significance to The Fae. They need what we find to even the odds.”
Gael chuckled to himself as he read one of the codes written down and opened a safe, revealing a small brown pouch inside.
“Supernatural arms dealers and archaeologists” he mused. “That's... pretty cool.”
“But not for everyone” admitted Emily. “Not unless you like investigating things dozens, possibly hundreds of other people have investigated already for some small clue they missed.”
“Well, I was going to school to be a detective” replied Gael. “A cold case investigator, to be specific. I won a contest held by the local police back in Boston when I was fourteen, to look into some guy who'd stolen a lot of cars forty years prior. Turns out he was still living in the same place, and the accolade of getting the job done is what got my foot in the door to Academy Nine.”
Emily nodded. “I've remember the academy” she said dryly. “It was very prestigious.”
Gael's jaw went slack, while Emily nervously failed to contain a grin.
“Sorry” she said quickly. “Dark humor helps cope with events like that, in my experience...”
“No, it's hilarious” admitted Gael. “I just keep forgetting there's an ordinary person underneath the knife-wielding enforcer of the Outcasts with a fairy princess for a partner.”
“I think most people are ordinary” replied Emily.
Gael shook his head. “Not here” he said confidently. “Not where we are. You might have seen Doug Gander as a slob, but I saw the mountain of beer cans and empty vodka bottles. Angelica has become extremely paranoid, and Kennedy is... I don't know about Kennedy yet, but he's certainly not ordinary. Extraordinary maybe, if I want to be polite about it.”
“And we're not?” Emily asked humorously.
“I want to go home and put on a movie” replied Gael. “Sleep deprivation aside, I'm not even all that stressed out anymore. I just wanna hang out for a bit, take it easy for a few days, and then tackle whatever it means to be an Outcast like I would any other job. Kennedy and Angelica aren't doing that, Doug Gander wasn't doing that, and I get the feeling no R'lyehans, Outcasts, or members of The Fae do that.”
“Oh, yeah...” mused Emily. “I get what you mean. 'They have to live it'. They can't just go home and have an ordinary evening, but how did you figure out I could?”
“Shay is your friend” said Gael. “Zinerva is my friend. But Kiki wasn't Doug Gander's friend, she was his servant. Artemis is in a similar spot, albeit with a better 'owner', and Cypress is like Kennedy: they're everyone's friend.”
Emily smirked as she hefted several safes and lock boxes into Gael's arms.
“That's an interesting theory” she admitted. “I guess the people in our business who can go home and hang up their coats would all share that trait, though.”
Gael waited as Emily hefted several other lock boxes into her arms.
“These last few are too heavy to carry out like this” Emily said next. “We'll get Artemis to help with them... Also, I came into the city with all of you. Would it be alright if I crashed at your place? It's probably safer here on the edge of the city than at my ship in the middle of nowhere.”
“I don't see why not” Gael replied nonchalantly.
“Oh, good” Emily said happily. “Because now that you've said it, all I want to do is sit back and enjoy a movie.”
An hour later, the Gander residence was officially abandoned. Despite all of the things she had, Kiki resigned herself to the contents of a single suitcase and a single toolbox, whilst everyone else was perfectly fine escaping with their relatively easily gained goods. When they returned to their new home, they found Kennedy waiting for them, but on the verge of crashing for some much needed rest. Meanwhile Angelica, lacking the burden of a soulless existence, declared she'd be productive while everyone else passed out in order to pay them back for what she wasn't yet sure might have been a colossal mistake.
Gael went upstairs, tolerating Zinerva's insistence to ride on his shoulder as he did, and found Emily and Shay joining him in the one thing he needed most of all: a couple hours to unwind. Luckily for Gael, Zinerva's boisterous nature was far off on the roof thanks to Shay's insistence that she introduce Zinerva to her own favorite past time: stargazing.
“This is nice” Emily said as she plopped down on a couch. Opposite her now stood a clear, plastic panel of glass sitting on a starkly industrial stainless steel home entertainment center.
“TV, on” Gael called out as he plopped down next to Emily.
The plastic panel lit up with images of the news, and for a moment the frantic speculation of what had happened to the space city of Enterprise Island fil
led the air.
“TV, rent Road of Gold and play it” Gael said quickly, effectively ending the broadcast and lighting up the screen with a series of production company logos.
“Oh, I love this movie!” Emily said excitedly. “The scene where the dad dies always gets me.”
Gael grimaced slightly, but forced it into a smile as he muttered, “I haven't seen it yet.”
“Oh my God! No, no no no!” Emily sputtered frantically. “I'm so sorry; it's been out for five months, I thought everyone had-,”
“Hey, calm down, I'm not really upset” Gael interjected levelly. “It's not a big deal.”
“I don't know about that” Emily replied with a smirk. “Have you ever tried online dating? I did once, and that's exactly how I ruined it for myself. Done in by the old net flick and chill...”
“That sounds familiar” Gael admitted humorously. “My one and only online date ended when 'Mandy Marigold' said she wanted to go a club. I said yes, but that I couldn't dance because I'd helped my parents move in to a new place the day before and my legs were thrashed.”
“Okay...” Emily muttered suspiciously. “I can see that not being a great start, but I don't see where things went terribly wr-,”
“She found another guy while she was on the dance floor and disappeared for two hours without saying anything to me” continued Gael. “She came back with that guy, and they had both clearly been... Well, he said, 'She's mine now, bro', in the most douche bag way imaginable.”
“They sound perfect for each other” said Emily.
“Exactly!” Gael replied with a laugh. “I even said 'She's all yours' back to the guy, and Mandy, she starts crying. It's bad, too. She's absolutely hysterical because she's got her own fucked up self-esteem issues that I wasn't even aware of, and then douche bag freaks out and decides he's going to kick my ass to make her feel better.”
“Oh no...” Emily muttered in horror, a guilty smile plastered on her face. “How sore were you from moving?”
“To sore to get out of the way” Gael answered honestly. “But not too sore to pick up a bottle from the bar and smash it over the guy's head. I'm glad the bartender saw it all play out, or I probably would have been charged for assault and had my scholarship revoked when Mandy called the cops on me. I haven't so much as looked at one of those dating websites since.”