by Jamie Howard
His gaze was molten as it locked onto mine, battling between determination and desire.
I took two steps forward, smirking. “How do you want me?”
“Give me your back.”
I kept my hands up high as I lowered myself into the water, settling between his legs. The tub was just wide enough for us to sit comfortably, and I gently laid my hands on the warm porcelain to keep them dry.
“Duck your head a little.” His hands moved to cradle the back of my head as I lowered it down. Water sloshed in choppy waves when I sat back up, my hair wet and dripping down my back. His fingers threaded through my hair as he worked the shampoo through it, fingernails lightly scraping my scalp. I let out a contented sigh, muscles relaxing.
His chest bumped my back as he leaned forward. “How’s everything going with your charity? Making any progress?”
“It’s . . .” I tried to remember anything about it, the plans we’d made, the wheels we’d put into motion. But right at that moment, my brain was mush, my thoughts completely drunk and useless from the exquisite feeling of Felix pressed up against me, his fingers working magic in my hair. “It’s good. Great.”
Felix chuckled. “That’s it? Great?”
“Well, we’ve got our name and mission statement. Larry got us registered with the IRS, and I hired a team to put together a fancy-pants official website.” I leaned into his touch a little more, trying to focus. “Oh, and there’s the fundraiser.”
“Scoot forward for me a little so I can rinse this out.” Warm water caressed my skin as he worked the shampoo out of my hair. With a tug on my elbow, he eased me back up until my head was resting against his chest. “Now tell me more about this fundraiser.”
A bar of soap appeared in his hand, and he swirled it delicately over my shoulder, drawing spirals on the way down my upper arm. “It’s a gala—music, dancing, food. Open bar. And we’re having a silent auction. I’ve got quite a few donations lined up that I think will bring some nice bids. I’m really hoping we’ll sell out the tables.”
“Well, the guys and I will be there; put us down for a table. We can always donate something too.”
I grinned up at him, running my fingers over the stubble on his chin. “I cannot wait to see you in a tux.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’m more a jeans and T-shirt kinda guy.”
I just shook my head at him, the easy smile on my face wobbling a little as his soapy hand coasted across my chest, his thumb brushing against my nipple. Just that little graze of calloused skin had it standing at attention, my entire body tightening. And I wasn’t the only one. Felix shifted behind me, but there wasn’t nearly enough room between us to hide the hard, hot part of him that was pressed against my lower back.
I rocked my hips back against him, a tiny moan slipping through my lips.
His hands stilled, hesitating a second before going back to work. The soap traced a line right down the middle of my stomach, halting a few inches below my belly button and reversing its path. He circled my other breast, the excruciating agony of him intentionally not touching me where I wanted practically driving me insane.
“Felix.” I let my shoulders angle toward the side so I could tilt my head back and press a hard kiss at the base of his throat. “Touch me. Please.”
The soap made it to my thigh, climbing up to my bent knee. “I am touching you.” His voice was nothing but a husky whisper.
Another kiss, this time with a scrape of teeth at the end. My fingers snuck into his still-dry hair, urging his head closer until the space between our lips evaporated. I coaxed his mouth open with my tongue, teasing him, tasting him. His fingers clenched around my thigh, the soap thudding to the bottom of the tub. A shudder rippled through his body as his restraint snapped.
A slippery hand pressed against my cheek, his answer to my kiss a gentle caress so light it was barely there. His lips trailed to my cheeks, my forehead, the tip of my nose—each simple touch cracking my heart open like an egg until all that was left was the gooey center. He ran the pad of his thumb over my lips, his gaze pinning me in place. “You scared me half to death last night. I kept thinking I was going to show up at the hospital and you’d already be gone.”
“I’m still here.” I nudged the tip of his nose with mine. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Another kiss, right at the corner of my mouth. “Promise?”
“Cross my heart and hope to—” I bit my lip. Hope to die wasn’t really the sentiment I was going for here. I tried again. “Cross my heart and hope to love you for a very long time.”
I felt his smile against my cheek. “How long, exactly?”
I shrugged. “A millennia or two might be enough.”
“Never.” His hand snaked around my throat, his fingers pressing my jaw up so I couldn’t look anywhere but at him. “It’ll never be long enough.”
Then his lips were on mine again, still softly tender but demanding. His hands skimmed down my body, palms brushing across my sensitive nipples as they slipped under the water. My knees fell farther apart, as far as they could go, toes curling against the bottom of the tub.
A tease of a fingertip grazed against me, just enough to send a jolt through my core without giving me half of what I was craving. I lifted my hips up, mentally begging for more contact, more pressure, more. Another glance of his finger, silky and smooth in the soapy water.
We both groaned as his finger slipped inside me, even wetter and warmer than the water outside.
“The doctor said—”
“To take it easy,” I finished for him, rolling my hips so I could slowly ride his finger. A flush worked its way over me, pinkening my skin. “We can be gentle.” I ran my tongue over his earlobe. “Go slow.”
Another finger joined the first, torturous in a way that had my back arching and my fingers twisting in his hair. His other hand cupped my breast, massaging it, as I restlessly squirmed toward the peak my body was desperately climbing to. Water sluiced over my stomach, splashing over the sides of the tub in mellow waves.
His mouth dropped to my neck—sucking, biting, licking its way down to my shoulder. “I missed you so fucking much,” he whispered in my ear.
Every inch of my skin was singing. Gone were the worries, the fears, the uncertainties. My brain was too overwhelmed by all things Felix to even think about traipsing back into that dark place. Everything here was dazzlingly bright, a brilliant spot of sunshine in all the shadows.
Even as he thrust his fingers inside me, I wanted more. Wanted him like my lungs wanted air—a need I couldn’t deny. I bumped my ass back, feeling the hard, slick slide of him against me. The hand that wasn’t knotting me into a ball of pleasure squeezed my inner thigh. “I don’t have anything in here.” He blew out a breath. “We weren’t supposed to—”
“Don’t care.” I nipped his neck. “I’ve been on the pill for years.”
He froze. “Are you sure?”
I blinked up at him, my eyes fogged over with need. “Positive.”
His fingers clamped down on my hip. “I’ve never gone bare.”
“I’ve never let anyone go bare with me.”
Our gazes locked, the implications of those two statements resounding silently, deafeningly in the air around us.
Blond eyelashes rested against his cheek, hiding his eyes for a brief moment before sweeping back open. “I love you.”
“I love you back.”
I felt his biceps bunch against my arms as he shifted me up, my body floating through the water till I was directly over him. He inched inside me, both of us sighing when he was as deep as he could possibly get. He pulled me against his chest, hands running over my ribcage, slipping through the suds and underneath the water.
Two fingers skimmed over my center, touching the place where we were joined together. “Wish I could see this right now—me buried inside you.” He groaned, his hand on my hip setting the slowest rhythm known to man. “You feel un-fucking-believable.”
I pr
essed my palms flat against the edge of the tub as I slowly drifted back down to meet him. “So good.”
For a long while it was nothing but the smooth, sensuous slide of soap-slicked skin, the gentle surge of water as it splashed against the floor, the breathy gasps and husky moans that slipped from my mouth to his, his mouth to mine like traded secrets. Everything inside me coiled together, twisting and twisting until the only thing it could do was break. I splintered, flying apart into a million pieces, and with a muttered curse, Felix followed straight behind me.
Chapter 26: Juliet
A chocolate chip sailed through the air, bouncing straight off the middle of Felix’s forehead. His open mouth curled into a smile as he swiped the little chocolate morsel off the comforter. “You’re really bad at this game.”
“Luckily for me, you’re not.” I leaned back on my hands, holding still as he lobbed the chip back in my direction. Just like the five times beforehand, it landed right on my tongue. I bit down on it, milk chocolate flooding my mouth. “Mmmm.”
“You suck.” Grabbing the bag by the bottom corner, he upended it straight into his mouth.
“Hey.” The plastic crinkled as I snatched it away from him. “That’s cheating.”
His fingers curled around my neck, pulling me closer. “It’s all right. I’m willing to share.”
I smiled against his lips, his kiss the sweetest thing I’d ever tasted. The whole afternoon had been like this—stolen kisses, little moments that made the entire month apart completely worth it. I hoarded each memory like a squirrel stocking up for winter, determined to hang onto every single one when I stepped on that plane tomorrow and headed off for another month without Felix.
I pushed against his chest, a slight burn whispering across my wrist from the pressure. “Maybe a little bit later.” Rolling off the bed, I settled one hand on my hip and grinned down at him. “But right now you need to get dressed. We’ve got somewhere we need to be.”
He cocked an eyebrow at me, his abs contracting as he pushed up on one elbow. “We do? And where would that be?”
“It’s a surprise.”
He swung his legs over the side of the bed. “You’re not even going to give me a hint?”
I shook my head. “Not even a little one.”
“Does it involve chocolate?”
“It could involve chocolate.”
His tongue ran out over his lips as the wheels in his head started churning. I could practically hear them grinding from over here. Grabbing a pillow, I chucked it at him. My aim wasn’t the best with tiny chocolate chips, but I managed to whack his chest with the massive down pillow. “Just get dressed. The sooner you do the sooner you’ll find out what it is.”
“So bossy.” He waggled his eyebrows at me. “I like it.”
I turned my back on him, realizing the only way we were getting out of this hotel room was if I stopped engaging with him. Sifting through the suitcase Ally had dropped off earlier, I pulled out a pair of dark skinny jeans and a matching burgundy sweater. Purposefully ignoring Felix, I headed to the bathroom for a quick change and to throw on a bit of makeup. It wasn’t until I was slipping on my peacoat that I finally faced him again.
His gaze slid down my body. “How is it that you manage to make even jeans look good?”
I looked back pointedly at him. “I could ask you the same question.” A worn pair of jeans encased his long legs, a faded green Henley tight across his chest and peeking out from underneath his coat. “You ready to go?”
“Let’s do this thing.”
It was just a short trip down the hall to the elevator and another quick wait as we sped down toward the lobby. My heels sounded obnoxiously loud against the marble floor, Felix coasting along almost silently beside me. Around us, my bodyguards had materialized, forming a tight circle.
He pulled up short, his hand raking through his hair with a muttered, “Shit.”
“What is it?” I spun in a circle, but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. The guests that filtered through the lobby barely paid us any mind, a middle-aged man in a suit had tucked himself into a chair, a laptop spread across his knees.
Felix jutted his chin toward the glass doors in front of us, his fingers tapping out a restless tune against his jeans. I squinted and finally picked up on what had stopped him in his tracks—paparazzi. Tons of them. A veritable hoard.
“Someone must have seen us leaving the hospital last night and followed us here.”
“Yeah.” He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, pinning it there with his teeth. “Have you seen any of the headlines?”
“About me? Or you?” I huffed out a laugh. “Or us?”
He didn’t seem all that interested in my answer or that he was even really listening to it. “I’ve been too chickenshit to look.”
The incessant fidgeting of his fingers finally stopped when I laced mine through them. “These places always have a side entrance. We can just sneak out that way. I can have my driver meet us there.”
“No.” He shook his head, his voice hardening. “No. I can do this.” He squeezed my hand, the corners of his mouth fighting back up into a semblance of a smile. “Last night I wasn’t think about anything but you, and now”—he blew out a breath—“now I can’t stop thinking.”
“Well, stop that.” I stooped down to plant a kiss on his lips.
“Ms. St. Clair.” Vince stepped a little closer. “Your driver is at the curb whenever you’re ready, ma’am.”
“Thank you.” I walked backward away from Felix, crooking my finger at him. “Let’s go, mister. Time to get out of that head of yours.”
His shoulders seemed to relax as he wheeled closer to me. Grabbing my hand, he pressed his lips to my knuckles. “Is it weird that it feels a little good that everyone knows?”
“Felix, you’ve been carrying around this enormous secret for over a year. It would be weird if it didn’t feel good.”
Vince paused with a tight grip on the door handle. The paparazzi, already scenting blood, had their cameras up, swarming around the door. “Mr. Donovan, Ms. St. Clair, please stick close by. We’ll get you to the car safely.”
I double-checked the sleeves of my coat with a quick glance, just to make sure they were still hiding the evidence of last night’s attack. Not that it really mattered. Everyone out there already knew what happened.
A shiver coasted up my spine as the door swung open and the winter air rushed in at me. The cameras were flashing before I even set foot out the door, the paparazzi’s shouts so loud I couldn’t hear anything else. My security formed a protective bubble around us, but even with them acting as a buffer, people pressed in from every side. Arms and backs and hands inadvertently touched me, and all I could think about was another set of fingers, another body that had touched my own without permission.
My stomach twisted, my mouth going dry as the memory of last night seized me and made the edges of my vision go white. He could be here. The thought had barely formed in my brain before I whipped my head around, desperately searching through the crowd.
“Ms. St. Clair?” A hand pressed into my lower back, urging me forward.
The car door hung open in front of me, Felix peering worriedly at me from the back seat. I hadn’t even seen him get in. Trying to wrangle back all the nastiness swirling in my head, I slipped into the car, not a shred of me relaxing until the door swung shut.
Felix’s hand wrapped around my thigh, tucking it closer against his. “You all right?”
“I’m fine.” I tried to combat the worried expression drawn across his face with the force of my smile. “Are you all right?”
His head slumped back against the headrest. “Surprisingly . . . yes. I mean, did you hear them? At least half were asking if this meant the band was breaking up or they were replacing me.” He snorted. “Like I’d let that happen.”
I shifted toward him, forcing myself to focus on him and absolutely nothing else. “You know, I never did get around to asking you
how you manage it. I heard you play, saw you, and if I didn’t know about your injury, I never would have guessed it.”
He smirked. “Impressed, were you?”
“Very.” I poked him in the shoulder. “So c’mon, tell me all your secrets.”
“The secret is . . .” he leaned toward me to whisper, “a lot of hard work and a shitload of determination.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Can I get the version that isn’t dumbed down for public consumption?”
His fingers played with the hem on my sleeve. “Right after I got out of the hospital, I went home for a while. I thought it would be good for me, but it was kind of a disaster. All these people who knew me growing up were there—staring at me, pitying me. It made me feel even worse than I already did. So, I packed up and moved back to the city.” He gave me a grim smile. “I moped around for a week or two until Gavin kicked my ass back into gear. At the time it felt like I’d lost everything, but I realized that part of that was just me giving up. And I’m no quitter.”
“So what’d you do?”
“I wasn’t mentally ready to deal with a lot of my crap, but the band was my life. I didn’t want to lose that too. It took a lot of trial and error, it still takes a lot of figuring shit out with every song. I use bite switches sometimes, which will trigger the bass drum, when I bite it. Sometimes I use bar trigger pads.” He shrugged. “Each new song is like an experiment, trying to find just the right way to get that rhythm perfect. But it’s so worth it.”
“You’ll have to show me sometime. Give me the behind-the-scenes tour.”
“You got it.”
The privacy window rolled down, and Vince turned around to face us from his spot in the front seat. “We’re a few seconds from our destination. We’ll sweep the perimeter and the inside to confirm it’s secure before we come back out for you. I’ll give you a double-tap on your window when we’re ready for you.”
“Great, thank you.”