by A. M. Hudson
“I wish I could hear your thoughts right now,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because I want to ask you a question—about history.”
“History?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, shoot.” I’m good for it, thanks Dad-slash-History professor.
“Do you know why they say diamonds are forever?”
“No.” Crap. I wish I did. “Why do they say that?”
“Well, it’s because—just like me, and soon, you—” He smiled and we circled the edge of the frozen lake again, our bodies together like ballroom dancers, the wind kissing my cheeks and making my nose run. “They’re immortal. They never age or wither away. They’re a constant thing—shining, sparkling, beautiful—kind of like our love.”
“Our love is like diamonds?” One brow rose.
“Yeah.” He grinned sheepishly and looked down at his hand; I looked too, my lips softly parting when the sunlight caught the sparkle in a very round, very clear diamond, set atop a silver band between his long, thin fingertips. He dropped to his knee as we skated the straight stretch again, and smiled up at me. “Ara, my love. Will you marry me?”
Oh my God. A hot pulse of lava rose up from the ground under us, burning my insides and searing everything I ever hoped for, ever dreamed of, into existence. We moved so fast over the ice, the world racing by in a still moment while my heart pounded in my chest.
The snowy day came rushing back, freezing cold after my moment in the extreme heat of mystification. I looked behind David as we neared the end of the straight stretch—the banks rushing up quickly behind him. He just shook his head, smiling.
He’s not going to turn—we’re going to…
A soft thud sounded under us. David hit the banks, catching me in his arms with a jolt; disturbed snow splattered over my cheeks and lashes in dots of cool, melting with the heat of my skin. And the vampire just laughed, his fangs showing as he lifted my hand, sliding the ring over my knuckle until it rested safely at the base of my finger. “I knew you’d say that.”
“You did?” is all that came out in a pitiful breath.
He pulled my beanie over my ears then pressed my cold nose. “Yes.”
The night rose a little higher then, dragging the moon with it, and the cold became wet, seeping through my clothes around the cuffs of my jeans and my sleeves, even my toes felt soggy and frozen on the tips. I swallowed and blinked back tears, unable to say a word for fear the weight of this ring, so new on my finger, so foreign yet so long-awaited, would disappear—that I’d awake and this would all be a dream.
“I’m going out on a limb here, guessing that was a yes, right?” his tone was playful, but touched with a hint of uncertainty.
I shook my head. “We’re going to be immortal, David. This isn’t like a human marriage. I—” I blinked a few extra times. “It needs more consideration.” I felt his weight shift, his soul drawing away inside, and smiled quickly, realising how that might’ve sounded. “I meant, I can only marry you if we promise forever.”
The breath he obviously held came out through smiling lips; he wrapped his arms tightly around me. “What about until death do us part?”
“Not even in death.”
“Then, forever.” David nodded. “Nothing do us part.”
With a wide, fixed stare, I searched David’s smile. “I love you, vampire boy.” I almost laughed the words out.
“Et mon amour pour toi est éternel.”
I Frowned. “You know, it’s more romantic if I actually know what you’re saying.”
He laughed softly, wiping his hand across a droplet of melted snow on his upper lip. “It means… And my love for you is eternal.”
Considering his phrase, I tilted my head to the darkening sky and spotted the first star. “You know…I kinda like that phrase—especially since you mean it literally.”
He studied my face carefully, confusion masking his smile as he propped himself up on his elbow. “First star of the evening. Not making any wishes today, huh?”
“Don’t need to. You just granted the last one.”
David closed his eyes for a second—his smile warming the icy winter surrounds. “Really?”
“It’s all I ever wanted.”
“I wish I’d asked you earlier.”
“Why didn’t you?”
His smile slipped away to a soft expression; he reached up and stroked my cheek. “We should go inside. You’ll catch a cold.”
“I don’t care. I have you to take care of me—even when I’m sick.”
“That you do.” He rolled me into the snow and landed between my legs; the squishy, half-melted sludge seeped through my sweater and chilled my spine, like spilling an ice-soda on your clothes at the cinema. “And I love taking care of you. But, I can do that without making you sick first.” He leaped up and took my cold, stiff hand. “Let’s go home.”
“Okay.” My teeth chattered. “I’m free-z-zing.”
David laughed. “You are remarkably adorable when you’re being human, Ara-Rose.”
“And you’re sexy when you’re being the vampire.”
“Oh, really?” David grinned, walking me across the road. “Well, perhaps I’ll have to call on him tonight, then.”
“If you do, you better expect me to be all over you,” I said mischievously. “You’re my fiancé—I have rights to you now.”
“Is that so?” He smiled and opened the front door for me.
“Yes.”
“Well, in that case, I shall be requesting you escort me to bed immediately.”
“Tease.” I huffed, folding my arms.
He laughed, closing the door behind us. “You know me too well.”
My foot tapped to the soft, bluesy beat of John Mayer, lilting gently from my iPhone by the bed, while Emily traced circles over my diamond for the sixth time—I counted.
“Didn’t you tell me once that you hate diamonds?” she said, releasing my hand.
“Yup. But, David kind of set that straight with this whole eternal, shining love speech.” I smiled reflectively. “He’s good at that.”
“No, he’s not.” She laughed, snuggling down on David’s pillow. “He practiced that speech about a hundred times, you know.”
“Way to ruin the magic, Emily.”
She cackled, looking so young, so human, so like high-school Emily that I smiled too and laid down to face her.
“So, really? He had to plan that speech?”
“Not so much plan as agonise over—for weeks.”
“Christmas night!” I sat up on my elbow. “That’s what he was agonising over on Christmas night?”
She bit her lips together, nodding.
“Why? He could’ve taken me to Burger King and asked me in the playground, I’d still have said yes.”
“I know. We all know that, Ara, I mean, come on. But...” She hesitated. “Not David. He’s a little more fragile than that.”
“Fragile?”
“Yeah. He’s afraid of getting broken again, you know, after the whole I love my best friend but not as much as I love you and no I won’t give up my life to be with you thing.”
“Oh.” I nodded, rolling onto my back.
“Yeah. He actually thought you’d say no, because it’d hurt Mike too much if you get married—being that it was supposed to be him.”
That must hurt her, to think Mike could feel that way. “I’m sorry, Em.”
“It’s okay,” she chimed, “Mike talked to him—convinced him you don’t want anyone else in this world.”
Doesn’t change what Mike wants, though.
“Of course—” she looked up at the roof, “—that doesn’t change what Mike wants, though.”
My mouth gaped.
“What?” she said.
“Uh, um, nothing.” I took her hand, listening to the roar of laughter coming from the kitchen, and the sound of plates being clashed while the boys cleaned up dinner dishes. “They get along well now, don’t they
?”
“Yeah.”
“I always wanted that. I’m gonna miss you guys when we go to Paris.”
“It’s only for a few months. You’ll be back soon enough—then we have forever. You, David, Mike...”
“Emily?” I unravelled her fingers from mine and propped my head up with the ball of my palm. “You know I love Mike, right? But it—”
“I know. Okay? I know you always will. I know he loves you—and if you asked him to, he’d give me up.” She shrugged.
“Em? That’s not true.”
“It’s okay, Ara. It’s just how it is. I knew that when I fell in love with him. It’s one of the things that made me see him that way—the way he loves you. I would love to be loved like that.”
“But you are, Em.” I tugged softly on a strand of her hair. “He does love you.”
“No. Ara, he doesn’t—not like that, anyway. He likes me, enjoys my company, but I really don’t believe it’s the kind of love I want.”
“He’s becoming immortal for you,” I noted.
“No, he’s becoming immortal for you.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I can read his heart—the way it beats when he looks at you. He probably loves me, but not like he loves you.”
“I hope that’s not true, Em.” I sighed, biting my bottom lip.
Emily smiled, her glassy eyes looking away. “I’m so glad you’ve decided to become a Lilithian.”
“Me too. I would’ve sooner—if I’d known about them.”
“There’s no way David would’ve allowed it. I know he had approval, I know he came back for you on your wedding day, but Ara, this is David we’re talking about. If he wanted you immortal, what you wanted wouldn’t have mattered—not after what you went through last year.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that—he doesn’t want you to be Lilithian. He wants you immortal, but the only reason you stayed human all this time is because the only other option repulses him.”
“So, he’s going to hate me when I change?”
“He loves you—he’ll always love you, but...it’ll be like the way you felt about him when you first found out he’s a vamp. You were grossed out, right?”
“Yeah.”
She shrugged. “Lilithians aren’t only a weaker species, they’re the minions of vamp society; they’re vile and evil—they torture vampires without any mercy, do horrible, irrecoverable things. Vulgar things.” She shuddered.
“Like what?”
After her mouth opened, it closed, snapping the words inside. “Can’t tell.”
“Why?”
“You know what David’s like.”
“So, he told you not to tell me?”
“Told—threaten me with torture.” She rolled her wrist around, addressing it so casually.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Sorry. All I can tell you is that they enjoy what they do.”
“Like you enjoy killing humans?”
Emily toyed with a strand of her hair. “Yes.”
“So, I’m gonna turn all vile and mean, and want to hurt you and David?”
“Well, we’re hoping that it’ll work like it does with humans, how, if you love one, you—”
“Have compassion for their race?” I nodded. “I hope so.”
“If not, it won’t matter. You can’t hurt us. We’re stronger and faster, and you can still die. He’ll just kill you if you get out of hand.”
“He would not.”
“Wouldn’t he?” She was joking, I could tell, but there was a hint of fact under her tone, like she believed it. “If you escape and start creating a race of Lilithians, it could mean real trouble in the supernatural world—maybe even war.”
“Then why are the Lilithians risking that by allowing him to illegally change me?”
“They aren’t. One is.”
“Who?”
“Don’t know. All he said is an old friend owes him a solid.”
“Must be rock frickin solid.”
Emily nodded, keeping her eyes on the roof.
“If they catch us, that’s where they’ll send him, isn’t it?”
“Who send who?”
“The Council will send David to the Lilithians—to be tortured?”
“Yes.” Her shudder came from way too deep for comfort—the kind of place that experience rests. Whatever David told her, it must’ve been some story.
“Em...what will happen if I bite him?”
“Not much. Major pain. Possible coma, or temporary paralysing. That’s pretty much it.”
“Then, if that’s all, why the shuddering?”
“Because the bite and the venom isn’t the problem. It’s what the Lilithians do...after.”
“And you think I’ll do that?”
“No way.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Ara, you’re not going to give just enough venom to lock his limbs down, sensation remaining, then cut him in places guys don’t want to be cut.” She pushed up on her elbows. “Are you?”
A numb tingling in my head erased the smile from my lips. “God, no!”
“Then there’s not much to worry about. Except a mighty pissed off vampire waking from a venom-coma with a mass hangover.” Emily cackled at the idea.
“Not funny.”
“Yes, it is.”
“Well, it’s immortality—in whatever form. We’ll just have to deal with it.” I shrugged.
“It’s a pity you can’t be a vampire like David and I. We’re so much cooler. We have better powers, we’re faster, stronger—we rule.” Emily grinned, but it quickly fell away as she dropped her hands over her belly and sighed, looking at the ceiling again.
“What is it, Em?”
“I still can’t believe Jason did this to me.” She traced a finger down the clear vein in her arm. “I can’t believe he’s such a monster. I used to cry myself to sleep over him—nearly every night, you know.”
“Why did he do it?” I asked cautiously. “What did you say to him to make him that mad?”
“I slapped him.” She absentmindedly rubbed her hand. “Told him he’s a beast—that no matter what he does in this world, no matter how he tries to absolve himself, I’d make sure I hate him for the rest of my days.”
I closed my eyes, seeing Jason’s face, the way those words would’ve wounded him so, so deeply. The way he said to me Everyone, Ara, everyone I love turned against me rang through my soul. But my mind rejected the compassion with a figurative, internal regurgitation. “And what did he say?”
“He said that maybe I just need some more time to think about it—and he grabbed me.”
“Was Mike there when Jason attacked you?”
Emily nodded, wiping a tear from her cheek. “He tried to save me. He fought him, but Jason just pushed him aside, told him to back off.”
“And Mike backed off?” I sat up, my arms straight behind me, holding me up.
“God, no.” Emily scoffed. “Jason pushed him out and locked the door.”
“Really?” He could’ve killed him, rendered him useless, paralysed, but just...locked him out?
“Yeah. Weird, huh? I don’t think he wanted to kill me, Ara. He only bit me once. I mean, he tore my whole damn throat out, but if he wanted me dead, he sure as hell could have and...would have.”
“So, you think he deliberately turned you?”
“That’s the only conclusion I can draw.” Something in her tone suggested she’d thought about it many, many times.
Neither of us said a word for a few minutes. I imagined her mind raced with confusion, while mine raced with empathy—for Jason. When he lost Emily, when she turned on him as well, he would’ve been shattered. In some small way, all I want is to help him, restore his faith that people can love—unconditionally.
“Em?” I hesitated. “I know you’re mad at him, but Jason’s still a good man.”
She looked at me; her eyes a
light with confusion. “What?”
“I’m not supposed to tell you this, but…he saved me.”
“Saved you?” She rolled over and propped her head up with the palm of her hand—her face just in front of mine.
“Yes. A few weeks ago, Eric took me to Karnivale. You heard of it?”
“Yeah. David told me about it.”
“Well, when Eric went to get a drink, I sort of got in trouble. Jason found me there—fought for me, then he...he took me home.”
“What!”
“I know. I was totally weirded out.”
“So...I mean, did he say anything to you. I—I can’t get my head around this.” She touched her temple. “Why? I mean, why would he save you?”
Oh, awkward moment. “He saved me, because he never really wanted me dead.”
“Ara, he tried to kill you.”
“No. He set out for revenge on David. My death was a part of that, but, he couldn’t do it. He told me he wants revenge still, but not by hurting me.”
She swallowed hard, her eyes glassing. “That sounds more like my Jason.”
Sounds more like my Jason, too. I watched her expression go from thought to sadness to crumpling.
“I’m sorry, Em.” I tried to pull her hands away from her face, but she shook her head.
“I’m okay. I’m—I’m okay.”
“He was a good guy, wasn’t he?” I said sympathetically.
She nodded, taking a breath and wiping her hands down her face. “He was. That’s why I never understood his leaving me.”
“Really?” My brows arched, humour stealing my compassion. “You haven’t caught on yet?”
She shook her head.
“The Set—leaving for winter...rules.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh.”
“Oh.” She sat up, thought completely changing her face. “My God. Why didn’t I put that together?”
“You’ve had other things to think about.”
“So—he—” She looked at me. “Do you think he felt the same as me? Do you think maybe—”
I took her hand; she shushed. “Em. I know it killed him. I know he tried to fight for the right to change you, bring you with him or get leave for eighty years, but...he was overruled.”
“But...his own brother was on the council!” She looked at my door. “Couldn’t David have helped?”