by A. M. Hudson
“Ara?” Morgaine waved a hand in front of my face. “You in there?”
“Oh, yeah. Sorry.” I chuckled then looked up at Emily, who perched herself near the bench, pretending to be reading a magazine, but so obviously not. I grabbed Morgaine’s arm and dragged her behind the wall a little. “What’s up with Em and Mike?” I asked. “They seem a little…”
“Hostile?” She grinned. “Yeah. Emily wants to talk to you, actually.”
“Why?”
“Wants your advice.”
“Morgaine, you’re not giving me much here. Advice on what?”
“She’s thinking about breaking it off with Mike.”
“What?” I practically yelled.
“I can hear you two,” Emily called from the kitchen.
We stepped back in. “Em? Why? Why would you want to…” I lowered my voice and looked over at Emily’s closed bedroom door, “break up with him?”
“I’m tired of fighting for his attention, Ara. He doesn’t love me. It’s simple.”
“But, have you talked to him?”
“Mike won’t talk to her about it,” Morgaine said.
“He’s just been really distant.” Emily glanced at her door again when it opened slightly, Mike’s loud phone-voice invading the room.
“Serious?” I rested my hands on my hips. “I didn’t even realise you guys weren’t okay. I mean, Mike’s been so normal and fun—I didn’t notice he was down.”
“Exactly.” Morgaine’s face lit with resolution. “He’s not, and he doesn’t seem to care that Emily is.”
“Oh.”
Mike walked back into the kitchen. “Okay, Aaron. I’ll see you Tuesday. Bye.”
“All good?” Morgaine said as she took the phone back.
“He’s got five guys he thinks might be good for Queen’s Guard.”
“Yeah?” Morgaine bounced on her toes once.
“Yup. I’m leaving tomorrow to meet ‘em. Wanna come, Morg?”
“Yeah. Hell yeah.”
“What about training?” I piped up.
“I’ll leave instructions with Em or Eric.”
I’d rather Eric than Em. “Okay.”
Mike nodded, resting his hands on his hips, then looked across the kitchen at Emily.
“I’m just gonna…” Morgaine let her sentence trail off to where her finger pointed, then walked away.
Maybe I should follow; I looked back at Mike—he was gone, already standing behind Emily where she leaned on the bench.
“What is it, Em?” he asked so softly he could be speaking to a child.
“I can’t compete, Mike.” She folded her arms and dropped her chin to her chest.
“Compete with what?”
“With her!” I practically felt her pointed finger stab me.
Mike spun Emily around, lifted her to sit on the bench, then stood between her legs. “Emily. There’s no competition. Ara has always been my friend. It’s the same with you and David.”
“Uh-uh. No way. David and I are nowhere near as close as you two.”
At least Mike and I don’t share blood!
“What do you expect, Emily? I was gonna marry her.”
“So you keep saying.” She looked down at her lap. “And that means I have to come second for the rest of my li—well, for the rest of eternity?”
Trying so hard not to clear my throat or cough to break the awkwardness, I took a few inching steps toward the exit, wishing I’d followed Morgaine.
“You know that’s silly, Emily, and I’m sorry you feel that way, but what more can I do?”
“Nothing,” she said, her eyes tearing. “It’s okay, Mike. We just…we aren’t meant for each other.”
What?” The word burst out of him. “Why?”
I stopped by the wall and made myself small, unable to walk away now, not when my two best friends were taking a one-way roller-cart to disaster.
“All I wanted was for you to love me. That’s it.” Her voice quavered and broke. “But you can’t even do that.”
“What makes you think I don’t love you?”
“You never say it, never laugh with me, have fun with me—all you ever talk about is Ara and her cool new powers.”
“Emily, I—” He looked at me, his hand over his chest. “I love Ara. I absolutely love her with all of my heart—”
Oh, boy. Things Guys Shouldn’t Say, For Dummies. I rolled my brow down to my fingertips.
“But you—” he touched her face, “—I love you with all of my soul. There is no comparison. Don’t you know that?”
“You never say it,” she whispered, almost inaudibly.
“Can you not feel it when I touch you, when we make love, when I hold you?” He stroked his fingertips along her jaw. “Actions speak louder than words, Em.”
She shook her head. “Not when it comes to I love you.”
Mike’s breath stopped short of his next word; he let it out with a long sigh. “You’re right. You’re right, Em. I’m sorry. I just didn’t realise, but—” he dried her tears with his thumbs and said with a laugh, “But I love you, okay? I love you.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really. You silly girl.” He pressed her delicate little face into his giant chest. “Don’t ever doubt that.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, wiping her nose with the back of her finger. “I just…you’ve just been so busy lately. I thought maybe you—”
Some cue, some touch or whispered word he spoke made her stop talking; he pressed his brow to hers and his shoulders lifted slowly. “I am never too busy for you. But you’ve got to tell me what you’re feeling, Em. I’m not David; I’m not a mind reader. If you’re worried I’m ignoring you or mad at you or don’t have time for you, just tell me, because it’s not the case. Got it?”
She nodded and smiled at me over Mike’s shoulder when he hugged her; I gave a little wave and a smile, then headed off to sit by the bed of David, near enough to cause me pain for not being able to hug him, but far enough to keep my pain from spreading.
Chapter 28
When mid-spring set in with the warm sun, and the sparkle of green leaves filled out the trees, David could finally open his mouth; I flooded his lips with my blood every hour, trying to make him heal faster.
“How is he?” Emily closed the bedroom door behind her.
“He’s good. He’s breathing again—every day now, and he can close his eyes, too.” I pointed to his face. “Look, see? He has eyelids.”
“Good. And it’s good to see him in clothes again, too.” She smiled and sat on the carpet. “I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately.”
“It’s okay. How’s renovations on the manor going?”
“Good. I picked the curtains for your room.”
I smiled. “Then I’m sure it’ll look great. And how’s Mike, did you meet any of the knights?”
“Yep. They’re great. He’s great. Actually came home with me this time.”
“Really? Mike? Home? On a weekday?”
“Yeah.”
Weird. “You mean, you managed to prise him away from swords and sparring?”
“Miracle, huh?”
“He must be missing you,” I noted.
Emily nodded, tucking her hands in her pockets. “You look tired, Ara—have you slept since you were rescued?”
“A little.”
“Look, I know you care about David, but you can’t keep going on like this. You’re not doing him any favours by running yourself into the ground.”
“It’s only been three weeks, Em. I’m fine. I don’t really need sleep like I used to.” Because every time I close my eyes, I dream about Jason—the things we used to talk about in the mind-links—then wake up in a cold sweat, believing I’m still in that chair. “And besides, it seems the more I coat him in blood, the faster he heals. Look at his hand—the one that was stripped to the bone.”
She knelt up a little and looked at David. “Yeah. Hey, that grew back in four days.”
“I know.” I nodded. “I spilled most of my blood on that one spot. It’s just a bit pink, as you can see, but no worse than sunburn.”
“Can he talk yet?”
I sat back down and shook my head. Emily sat too. “Morgaine says that once his hair grows back he’ll heal rapidly from that point. That’s when I’ll get some rest.”
“Yeah, but you look kind of scary. You’re all blue and pale.”
“I know. But I’m not as scary-looking as David.” I shrugged; David’s chest lifted, like he was laughing. I’d give anything to hear that sound.
“Well—” Emily shuffled closer. “Do you wanna know why Mike came home this weekend?”
“There was a reason—other than missing you?”
She lifted her left hand and frayed her fingers.
“Oh my God!” I squealed and jumped up to hug her. “Oh, Emily. I’m so happy for you—when did he propose?”
“Just now. He asked me to come for a walk with him, by the lake across the road, and he got down on one knee.” She grinned, holding her hand so I could see the heart-shaped diamond. “He said that he gave me his heart—” she tapped the stone, “—so I never forget that it always belongs to me.”
“Oh, Em. He’s so sweet.”
“Yeah. He said he tried to propose all week, at the manor, but he couldn’t get the guts up.”
I laughed. “So? Where is he now?”
“Well, that’s why I came in. He wants you to eat, then he wants to talk to you—alone.”
“Alone?” I frowned, taking Emily’s wrist.
“Yes.” She winced as I bit into her skin. “Ow. Your venom really hurts.”
Her blood tasted fruity and sweet, as if I’d warmed a peach in a pot of cream then bitten into it. As I closed my eyes and swallowed back the nourishment, Emily reached over and took David’s near-healed hand.
I pulled back from my lunch and smiled at David, his eyes open, directly on me. They didn’t have that sparkle they once did, but he was finally conscious behind them. “Is he okay?”
Emily nodded and smiled, as if her eyes were talking to him, her voice to me. “He’s fine.
“So—” I wiped my mouth on my sleeve, “—why does Mike want to see me, alone?”
“I don’t know.”
“Okay, just—take care of David.” I stood up, pointing to my husband.
“I always do.” She smiled and sat on the bed.
“Mike?”
Broad as a soldier, my Head of Security stood by the lake across the road; his arms folded, his attention on the hills in the distance.
“Hey baby,” he said as I stood beside him.
“You never told me you were planning to propose.”
“Couldn’t. Emily would’ve heard.”
“Uh, of course.” I raised the index finger of realisation. “Didn’t think of that.”
“Ara?” Mike breathed out through his nose.
“Just say it,” I prompted. “Whatever it is, Mike. I can take it.”
“I love you,”
“Except that.”
He laughed and placed his arm around my lower back. “You still make me weak at the knees when I look at you, and I wish every day that you’d married me, that none of this ever happened.”
“Hm.”
“Let me finish.” He smiled warmly.
“Okay, so, there was a but?”
“Yes.” He looked at the lake again. “But…I love Emily too much to wish it with all of my heart—does that make me a bad guy?”
I pressed my lips together and snorted out a laugh. “No, Mike. Things are never that simple. Life isn’t always just one or the other. If all of this happened only so that you and Em could find each other—that’s a fate I’m willing to accept.” I grabbed his hand and pulled it around me a little tighter. “I’m okay. David will be okay—one day, and you have Emily. Everything’s perfect.”
“Except we have a Set of blood-lusting psychopaths after us?”
I waved a dismissive hand. “Meh, mozzies, if you ask me.”
“Yes, but, these mozzies are huge and powerful.”
“Well, we’ll deal with that in time. For now—” I wrapped both arms around my best friend, “—I’m just so happy you asked her to marry you. She was always meant to be yours.”
“You think so?”
“Yeah, remember? I was gonna set you up with her.”
“She was the blonde?”
“Yeah. Told you you’d like her.”
“You were right.” He chuckled then sobered. “But, Ara? I need to know how you feel. You know, about—” he waved his thumb between the two of us, “about you and I. About us. About me marrying Em.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Do you know…when I touch you, I still have to remind myself that we’re not together.”
“Because of the spirit bind?”
My shoulders sunk a little. “No. Because I love you, Mike—more than I should. Especially since I’m married to David. And I can’t help but to love you.” I tucked my hair behind my ear and looked up at him. “We’re two parts of one whole, you and I. I think, in a way, David and Emily—they make up the other half of us. Like, none of us could exist, if one of us were missing.”
“You know.” Mike nodded. “I think I know exactly what you mean.”
“A love quartet.” I smiled.
“So, are you saying you love Emily?”
“Don’t be silly—not like that.” I slapped his chest with the back of my hand. “But yes, I do love Em. And she loves me—and David.”
“Yeah, she’s always loved David.” Mike rolled his eyes.
“I know.”
“David knows how she feels.” He stared out across the water.
“Does he? He denies it to me—that she feels anything.”
“I know. He doesn’t want you to know. He says there’s nothing for you to worry about, which means you’ll only worry more.”
“Really?”
“Yep.”
“Well, why would he tell you that, and not me?”
“We’re closer than you think, Ar.”
I chuckled. “Got a little bromance goin’ on, huh?”
“Nah, we’re just mates. But I really care about the guy. I, uh—” He shuffled his feet, looking down. “I’d risk my life to save him.”
My heart warmed; I hugged Mike tight. “You’re a good man, Mike. I’m glad you’re marrying Emily.”
“Really?”
I nodded, and we stood quite for a moment, watching a new family of ducks paddle across the lake.
“It means a lot to me, you saying that,” he said.
“It means a lot to me that you’re staying with me forever—to be my knight.”
“Head Knight,” he corrected.
“Right.” I nodded. “Of course.”
“I can’t wait to take you out to Loslilian, Ara. You’re going to love it there.”
“Am I?” I asked, unconvinced.
“Yeah. Give it a chance, baby. Just pretend to want this, for a while, and you never know, you might start to believe it.”
“That’s like saying I’ll become a butterfly if I wish for it long enough.”
“Anything’s possible.”
“Yeah, I suppose. If vampires exist, why shouldn’t hopes and dreams?”
Mike rolled his head down to look at me, his warm, kind eyes taking my soul home inside. “And what would your one hope be, my little negative friend.”
I sighed. “That I’ll wake up soon.”
A whisper-soft tickle glided over my hair, and I breathed deep. “Is it morning already?”
When I lifted my head off the edge of David’s bed, I jumped back instantly—falling onto grass in an open space.
“David?” I scuffled back on my hands, coming to rest against a firm, gristly column. My heart slowed as I took in my surroundings; the field—the one from my dream, and behind me, the tree. “David?” I called again, but he’d obviously stayed behin
d in the real world.
No one else was here to greet me, no ghost of Jason, no memory of our past. I wondered why my mind brought me here at all, and as I stood, dusting my hands on my pyjama pants, wondered why my mind hadn’t thought of something a little more fashionable than shabby pink and blue pyjamas.
The night was dark and still, no crickets, no…life. I wandered forward, squinting to make out what I thought was a light, far off in the centre of the field. “Hello?” I called, spinning slowly to search every corner of the pretty sanctuary.
As I drew closer to the light, voices lilted out over the silence.
I stopped dead, listening.
“Give it back!” a child called.
“Make me.” Another laughed.
Cautiously, with quiet breaths and fairy-soft footfalls, I walked toward them, hoping this wasn’t another Immortal Damned dream.
“That’s not funny!” Two boys came into sight, no older than ten years old; they plummeted to the long grass, lit up by the memory of daylight over them like a spotlight, and I watched on, remaining in the dark.
“You can’t win against me, brother,” one boy said, tucking something into his chest as he ran a few meters away.
The other boy, the smaller one, stood up, with grass in his hair and fists clenched, then charged after his brother again. The taller one spun, grabbing the shirt of his attacker.
“Hey! Stop that!” I stomped over, but as I reached out to push them apart at the chest, fell forward, landing on the ground.
“She’s my friend. You stay away from her.”
I rolled over and sat up, looking at my hands; they just went straight through those boys.
“She likes me, David!”
David? My mouth dropped as my eyes focused on the boy standing in front of me—towering over the other child who’d also come victim to a fall.
“She doesn’t like you.” David pointed down at the other boy; I looked across at him; their faces were exactly the same. “She told me she’s just using you to get cookies from the kitchen, because Chef likes you.”