Talking Sex

by Maxine Sullivan

  She clinked her glass against his. “I’ve enjoyed it too.”

  They both took a sip of wine.

  “You know, Zac. You’re not like Steve at all.”

  He felt a burst of satisfaction. “You sound certain.”

  “I am,” she said softly, confidently.

  His heart kicked into gear. He was almost afraid to hope. “Why is that?”

  “Remember when you ignored that woman’s come-on at the restaurant?”

  His mouth dropped open. “Are you talking about the woman who gave me her phone number?” He gave a brief laugh. “Hey, no way. Why would I settle for silver when I’ve got gold right here?”

  She let out a shaky breath as her eyes shimmied with sudden moisture. “Thank you for that, Zac.”

  Her tears clutched at his heart and he got to his feet. “Just in case you need more convincing…” he said gruffly. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her, his mouth swooping down to capture hers as punishment for being so bloody perfect he wanted to devour her, to somehow meld them together sexually, so that when the kiss ended she would know she belonged right here in his arms.

  And maybe for more than a moment?

  They came up for breath but he didn’t give her a chance to speak. He kissed her all the way to the bedroom, wanting her with a need that went right through to his bones, as if they’d never made love before, as if it had been years instead of hours. And when he was deep inside her, he knew that as much as he loved being in her body, he suspected he wanted to be inside Cassie’s heart even more.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “You know,” Zac said, finishing his coffee the next morning. “I could be persuaded to stay with you a while longer.”

  Cassie smiled at the handsome man in her life. “No, you go spend time with Adam. He’s your friend and the reason you came to Chicago in the first place. Besides, I have some things to do to prepare for tonight’s show.”

  He pulled her in his arms and gave her a quick coffee-tasted kiss. “Sure?”

  “Sure.” Just then the phone rang and she slipped out of his arms. “I’d better answer that.”

  He headed for the door. “See you tonight at the station.”

  She nodded as she picked up the phone. It was Maggie, her friend at the hospital. Cassie knew from the other woman’s tone that something was wrong. “Maggie?” she whispered, a shiver going down her spine.

  “Oh honey, I thought I’d better phone you. I didn’t want to but…” Her voice sounded teary. “Honey, Mikey didn’t make it.”

  Cassie swayed then sank down on the kitchen chair. “Wh..what?”

  “There was nothing we could do. I’m sorry. His heart stopped during his operation yesterday afternoon.” Maggie continued speaking, talking a bit more in detail. “I didn’t want to tell you before your show last night, but I knew I had to let you know this morning.”

  “I thought he’d be okay,” Cassie whispered, rapidly blinking back tears. Mikey had already gone to another ward to be prepped for his operation when she’d been there yesterday morning. She hadn’t even said goodbye.

  “He loved you coming here, Cassie. Please remember how happy you made him.” There was a pause. “Do you want me to come over after my shift?”

  “No.” Cassie swallowed, then cleared her throat. “No, I’m fine. Thanks, Maggie.”

  “Take care then. And if you need me just call, okay.”

  “Okay. Thanks again, Maggie.” She hung up the phone with a shaky hand.

  “What’s the matter?” Zac said, crouching in front of her, and she blinked, realizing he hadn’t left after all.

  She cleared her throat. “Um…” Then she told him.

  “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Zac’s eyes were full of concern as he pulled her to her feet and into his arms, holding her. “Let yourself cry.”

  She did.

  Afterward, she leaned back. “You should go, Zac. Adam will be expecting you and I’m fine now.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not leaving you alone like this. You’ve had a major shock and you’re upset. You should have someone with you.”

  “No. I don’t need anyone.”

  He slid his hand under her chin. “Why? Because you’re frightened of falling apart in front of me? I can handle it, sweetheart.” He paused. “I guess the question is can you?”

  She gave a gasp and felt her lips begin to tremble. For such a short acquaintance, he seemed to know her well - better than she knew herself. And right now she was grateful for that. All at once she let herself sink into him, seeking his strength. “Make love to me, Zac.”

  His brows drew together. “Cassie, I didn’t mean --”

  “Zac, please,” she begged. “I need you, Zac. I need you inside me. It’s the only way I can forget right now.”

  He stared into her eyes and whatever he saw must have changed his mind. He groaned and lowered his lips to hers.

  * * *

  Steve knew he had to see his ex-wife face to face, and because she worked most evenings, he took a chance that she’d be at home late this morning. Besides, it was a good time for him to get out of the office on the pretext of work, without Robert or Alicia getting suspicious of his movements.

  Cassie opened the door almost straight away, carrying the mutt in her arms. “Zac, I --” She stopped when she saw who it was, her face filling with dismay. She looked like she’d been crying.

  Something jabbed Steve in the chest at that look and he very much feared it was guilt. He didn’t understand it, but he felt bad for what had passed between them. God, he must be getting a conscience in his old age, though not enough to stop him manipulating her now. What was that old saying about flies and honey?

  The mutt started yapping in her arms, but he pasted on a friendly smile and ignored it. “I assume Zac was the guy I just passed as I came into the building?”

  She stiffened. “Probably.”

  He’d been a good-looking son-of-a-bitch. And was obviously sleeping with Cassie, Steve decided, taking her current attire of a silk robe into account. Surprisingly he felt nothing at the thought.

  “So he’s brought you to tears already.”

  She lifted her chin. “No.”

  He could feel himself already losing ground. “Look, can I come in for a minute?”

  She hesitated.

  “Cassie, we need to talk.”

  She sighed, then stepped back and opened the door wider. “Only for a minute. I’ve got some things to do before my show tonight.”

  He winced inwardly at the mention of her radio program, but luckily he had already stepped past her into the apartment, so she wouldn’t have caught his expression.

  The mutt growled at him.

  He turned to face Cassie. “Can you put that dog in her box?”

  She shot him a dark look. “It’s called a crate. And you can wait in there,” she said, jerking her head at the living room like he was a guest and had never lived here.

  He was tempted to ignore her command but thought it more prudent to do as she said. In the living room, his gaze went over the changes she’d made. She’d painted the walls the palest of greens, and the color went well with the gray leather couch and apricot-colored scatter cushions.

  “I like what you’ve done in here,” he said when she came back to the doorway, minus the mutt.

  She looked surprised by the comment. “It should add a couple of thousand to the selling price,” she said, not anymore friendly than a moment ago.

  “Have you put it on the market yet?” he asked, knowing she hadn’t.

  “The realtor’s coming around next week.”

  “Well, don’t stress about it. I’m not in a hurry to sell.” He’d figured out that if she at least had this apartment, then she’d feel secure and more inclined to change careers and give up the talk show gig.

  She tilted her head at him with suspicion. “That’s funny. You were in a hurry a couple of months ago.”

  “That was my lawyer’s fault.”
He shrugged. “You know how they are. They like to milk you for all you’re worth.”

  Her eyes said she didn’t believe a word of it. “Steve, what’s the real reason you’re here?”

  He gritted his teeth. He didn’t like that she saw through him. He just hoped to God that she didn’t catch on to how important all this was to his new life. “Cassie, I’m still worried about you with this Aussie guy. I’ve been listening to your show and it’s clear to me that he’s only after one thing.”

  “Fame?” she said sarcastically.

  He didn’t smile. This was too serious. “He wants you for sex, honey. S.e.x.” His eyes went over her robe. “And I’m very much afraid he’s already got it from you.”

  Her mouth tightened. “Steve, you’ve got no right telling me what to do anymore.”

  “I have every right. You were once married to me, Cassie. Mud sticks.”

  Her lips twisted. “It sure does.”

  He took a deep breath. They were going nowhere fast. “Cassie, do yourself a favor and get him off your show as soon as you can. You’re not ready for another relationship.” He filled his eyes with concern. “I’d hate to see you get hurt.”

  “Again, you mean?” He opened his mouth to speak but just as quickly she sighed. “Look, I’m tired and I have a show tonight. And this morning I had some bad news about one of the children at the hospital. One of the little boys died yesterday.”

  Steve hated when she did this, and he wanted to run from the room as fast as he could. He’d never understood how she could voluntarily go to the hospital and be surrounded by sick people. He’d had enough of that when his mother was dying - all that disease and the sense of hopelessness. He couldn’t face it all again.

  “I don’t know why you go there. Doesn’t it upset you?” he had to ask.

  Her eyes flared with anger. “Of course it upsets me, so I’d appreciate it if you’d back off right now.”

  “Okay, okay,” he soothed. She obviously didn’t believe he was capable of sympathy. And that was his own fault. He’d never been able to tell anyone about his mother and his feelings. He’d refused to give them that power over him. He still wouldn’t.

  “Look, I want to apologize for my behavior. I haven’t been myself lately and…” That wasn’t a lie. “Things are really starting to get me down. I know I don’t deserve anything from you but… can you please do me a favor?”

  “What?”

  “Get rid of the Aussie, hon. Please? You don’t need him. You were doing fine before he came along.” He drew his brows together in concern. “But I’m not sure you will once he’s gone.”

  Her eyes pierced the distance between them. “What’s in this for you, Steve?”

  Fear knotted inside him. She was getting suspicious. He had to do something. “I… er… miss you, Cassie,” he said, feeling like he was being unfaithful to Alicia by merely saying the words. “And it’s eating me up inside knowing…” God, would Alicia ever forgive him? “… that you and him are becoming an item.”

  She stuck her hands in her bathrobe pockets, her eyes cynical. “Why don’t I believe you?”

  Dammit, she’d changed since they’d split up. At one time he could have convinced her of anything. Now she knew better than to trust him.

  Right, it was time to get out of there so she could reflect on what he’d said. And perhaps - just perhaps – he might have gotten through to her. She’d had such low confidence during their marriage. Hopefully he’d managed to put some doubts in her mind about this Zac now.

  “Just think about it, okay? That’s all I’m asking.”

  One of her brows rose. “Will you leave right now if I do?”

  His pulse raced with hope. “Drop him, you mean?”

  She grimaced. “No. I mean I’ll think about what you said.”

  He had to be content with that. While he knew better than to get his hopes too high, this at least was a start. And if another unfamiliar slither of guilt said he could be ruining Cassie’s chance at happiness, he quickly suppressed it. For her to give up the Aussie would be no sacrifice, whereas if he had to give up Alicia - and her money - it would be a matter of life or death.

  His.

  * * *

  “G..O..O..D……evening, Chicago,” Cassie said, getting into mode, though underneath she still felt shell-shocked over Mikey. The only thing that had made her feel better was making love with Zac. He had been full of tenderness, so beautiful and sweet, and what had started as an act to forget her pain had surprisingly turned into a celebration of life between the two of them.

  Dear Zac. He’d been so worried about her that he hadn’t wanted to leave her afterward, but she’d finally convinced him she needed some time alone, though not like before where she’d wanted to push him away so she could grieve in private. She’d had personal things to do, that’s all.

  And then Steve had turned up.

  God, how incredibly selfish her ex was. A child had died and all he could think about was himself. Dammit, she hadn’t liked lowering herself to Steve’s level by agreeing to think about getting rid of Zac, but at least it had got him out of the apartment. And what was all that crap about him missing her?

  Yeah right.

  Time to put Steve out of her mind…

  “Yes, it’s time for “Night Talk”. And right now I’m the “hostess with the mostest” because sitting in front of me is our special guest from Down Under. Thanks for coming back tonight, Zac.”

  “You’re very welcome, Cassie,” he said, a tender look still in his eyes that she deeply appreciated.

  “Zac, tonight I want to dedicate the show to the memory of a very special little boy.”

  His eyes softened even more with pure sincerity that was so unlike her ex. “That’s a wonderful idea.” She looked at the microphone in front of her and had to blink back sudden tears. “Folks, Mikey was a gorgeous little boy with a lot of health problems in his short life. He fought a brave battle but in the end he couldn’t quite win the war.” She swallowed hard. “Now he’s at peace.”

  There was a moment’s pause before Zac spoke. “I didn’t get to meet Mikey, but I’m sure people who did will always remember him in a little pocket of their hearts,” he said, sounding slightly choked.

  Cassie’s heart squeezed. “That’s so true, Zac. Well said.” She would never forget Mikey either.

  He cleared his throat, then, “It hurts to lose someone we love.” He took another moment before speaking. “I suppose that makes people scared of intimacy. Don’t you think so, Cassie?”

  Cassie knew he was only trying to keep the conversation flowing, but she felt a little uncomfortable at the change in direction. Still, it was an opportunity to get back on track with the show. “I agree. It takes courage to lay your heart on the line, whether it’s with a child or a lover.”

  “Yes, and that’s why people use sex to guard against intimacy.”

  Unnerved by his look that seemed to see right inside her, she shifted in her seat. “How do you mean, Zac? I thought sex was a part of intimacy.”

  “It is for most people, but for some - those who’ve been hurt and who don’t want to get hurt again - sex can be used as a smokescreen. They think that if they give their bodies, their partner won’t notice that they’re not giving their hearts.”

  Panic flittered through her. “Hmm. I never thought of it that way.”

  “Then I’m glad I made you stop and think,” he murmured.

  “Not just me,” she pointed out, trying not to sound defensive. “Lots of our listeners will be thinking about what you’ve said.” She smiled. “You may well have saved a couple of hundred relationships right here in Chicago, Zac.”

  He started to grin. “I told you I was Superman. All I need now is a cape.”

  “Let’s not get carried away, if you’ll pardon the pun.”

  “But I like capes. They’re so…”

  “Feminine?” she said, her lips twitching.

  He laughed. “Hey, you w
omen can’t have it all your own way. I don’t see why a man can’t wear a cape. What about Batman and Robin? You wouldn’t call them feminine, would you?”

  “No, I’d call them seriously deluded.”

  “Ouch! You’re gonna get a lot of flak now from your listeners.” He grinned as he shook his head. “Imagine putting down the superheroes. Tut. Tut.”

  “If my listeners like men in capes, then good for them. I’ve got to admit it doesn’t turn me on.”

  His eyes sent her a private message. “Then what does turn you on, Cassie?”

  “Men in boxer shorts,” she quipped, thinking how good he looked in his. “Definitely not superheroes who wear briefs on the outside of their clothes.”

  He raised an amused brow. “Oh, so now you’re picking on the rest of their clothes? You’re really burying yourself in a hole, baby. I’d stop while I was ahead if I were you.”

  She felt an odd little jolt inside her. This really was such fun playing word games with Zac.

  What if she hadn’t met him…

  If he hadn’t come to the States…

  Or to the radio station that day…

  “O.k.a.y…” she said, thinking for something to say to change the subject. “Let’s put the subject of men and their silly outfits back in the closet, and talk about something else.”

  “We could get back to what we were talking about earlier,” Zac said, a determined light in his eyes she was beginning to recognize. “Sex without intimacy, I believe.”

  She groaned inwardly. Weren’t they done with that subject yet? “Zac, you said that sex can be a smokescreen, but surely sex by itself can’t be bad in itself?”

  He fell silent for a moment, then, “For some people, no. For others, yes. It all depends on the person and how much their emotions are involved.”

  Her forehead creased. “I can’t see how a partner who’s getting great sex can complain if the other person holds something of themselves back. What’s so wrong with keeping a piece of yourself private?”

  “Nothing - if they’re both happy. But if one is unhappy…” He fixed her with a stare. “Let’s talk about a friend of mine.”