by Tara Brown
One of the boys nodded, giving me a look. “Who are you?”
“Someone who can sneak you in and out of countries without telling anyone. That's all you need to know.” It wasn't even the truth. If I was honest I would have hugged them all and cried about their wounds and made them a tea. That was more who I was. The bitch who killed all those men, that bitch wasn't me. She was a trained assassin who came out when I needed her. Her only demand was that I looked the other way when Gustavo Servario unbuckled his pants.
It had taken us half an hour to get to the beach so I had to pray that Coop would hurry and arrive any second before the most dangerous men in Dubai figured out I had stolen their precious imports.
I paced the beach, repositioning the guns in the back of my dress and attempting to flush out images that were burned into my retinas.
I forced myself to look at them, all of them. They were a straggly looking bunch of teenagers. It was the horror movie version of an Abercrombie and Fitch commercial. I could have cried but I didn't. I focused on the fact that they were alive. Yes, the worst things that could be done to a person had been done to them, but they were alive.
The girl I had rescued first was sitting on the far edge. She had a look on her face that told me I hadn’t found her sister in the group. I flinched when I thought about the plan forming in my head, but when a boat came along the harbor, I knew I had to go back. I had to. Coop and Luce hit the wharf with intensity, running down the beach. The kids behind me cowered, but I ran to the two people racing for us. Jack stayed with the boat, talking on the radio. Luce and Coop both wrapped themselves around me, hugging hard. Luce trembled when she spoke, “Quite the find, Evie.”
“You have no idea.” I glanced back at them. “You have to get them out. They need to be taken back to US soil, now. You guys need to go, before they find out they’re gone.”
Coop gripped me, trying to get me to look at him. “Are you okay?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I will be when they’re gone and there is no chance of them going back. They’re just kids.”
Coop lifted my chin, holding my face and staring deeply into my eyes. “Get in the boat. I will find Servario. Or better yet, we leave him behind and let him sort this out on his own. He has connections enough to get out.”
I almost nodded, almost taking the path of least resistance, but the idea that I left the dead driver in the car made me shake my head. “I have to go back. I sprung a trap and left him there to be blamed for it all.”
Coop rolled his beautiful blue eyes. “He has hung you out to dry tons of times. You owe him. Let’s go.”
“Right.” I stepped back. “But that's not me. I wouldn't ever leave someone behind. I don't believe in leaving someone to fend for themselves. I’m not you or Servario.” I turned and ran back into the dark toward the kids. “Go to the boat. These are American agents. They will take you to safety.”
I fled, hearing footsteps behind me on the sidewalk when I got back up there. My feet burned and ached from running barefoot, but I had endured worse pain than that before. At least I had worn a comfortable dress. I stopped at a busy streetlight, the one we had gotten lucky with on the way to the beach. Luce caught up with me. She huffed next to me, making me feel better about my fitness level as I wheezed and waited for the light.
“So, what was that?”
I glanced up at her, marveling at how pretty and yet totally badass she was. “Which part could you possibly be referring to?”
“The whole ditching Coop, flying away with Servario again, and then deciding to leave Coop on a beach with a bunch of teenagers.”
“Right.” I nodded, crossing when the light had turned. “That part.” I passed a gun toward her when we got to the other side of the street. “Servario told me we were meeting you, Jack, and Coop in Dubai. Then we got here and he said we were meeting you guys in Europe. He had a plan, we went to a club and I killed the driver, and now I’m here.”
She glanced back at the beach. “You freed those kids from a brothel?”
“Yeah.” I shuddered. “And left Servario in there with the bad guys, after killing our driver. I left him in a trap that's about to be sprung.”
“Oh shit,” she mumbled.
“Yup,” I muttered as I followed the map on my phone in reverse to the car. When we got to the Mercedes I stopped and looked in the window at the dead man on the floor of the car. It was hard to see him with the bright lights of the city shining in, but when I leaned over and let my shadow cover the window I could view him perfectly.
Luce leaned over the window with me, and I had to admit having her there made me feel better. “Creepy. The car hasn't been towed or noticed. How’d you do it?”
“Stabbed him in the temple with my hairpin.”
She snorted. “Nice.”
We turned and I pointed at the alley. “This way.” We hurried along the backstreet to the large building. I was scared they had discovered their dead guard, but he still lay there as dead as before.
“You are getting very badass, Evie. Very badass,” she said quietly as we crept inside and down the long corridor. When we got to the porn room, I handed her a handgun.
“Is that a grenade in your tits?”
“Yeah.” I nodded and snuck around the corner to the long hall with the doors. Each one was still closed, concealing a dead man or woman inside. When we got to the room with the cards and guns, I lifted a finger to my lips and nodded. Men chuckled, sounding more drunk since I had been there an hour or so ago.
I glanced in the doorway, catching a glimpse of three men and Servario. The Harry guy was gone though.
Luce lifted her gun, sneaking a peek. She took a deep breath and snuck into the room, holding her gun out. I aimed at the man to Servario’s right as she shot the man to the left and the man in the middle. Servario was up, grabbing Luce until he saw her face. He swayed slightly, stumbling a bit. He was drunk. He smiled when he saw me, holding a finger out to my face. “Did you find your way back to young Cooper?”
“I am going to fucking kill you.” I grabbed his hand, feeling a sickening rage coming over me, and dragged him from the room. He tried to pull me into him and he tried to be funny. He slurred and joked as we stumbled down the hallway. He was too loud and too crazy. Luce cleared the room behind us and the hallway as we walked out. When we stepped out over the dead man, Servario burst out laughing. He pointed at the body, laughing and stumbling like a fool. I passed my boob grenade to Luce. “Make it rain.”
She ran back inside. I hurried away from the building as an explosion ripped into the night.
When we were past the car with the dead driver in it, we slowed down. Dragging Servario’s drunken ass was crazy. “He’s lost his fucking mind,” Luce mumbled as we staggered down the road.
He wrapped his arms around us both, holding us and staggering. “You fucking idiots. You fucking stupid women have fucked this up, and I can’t afford to lose my credibility on this. So you will stagger with me down the road until we can steal a car and get to the plane. You will shut your fucking mouths, apart from giggling like schoolgirls. Do you get me?”
We both nodded, afraid of the tone in his voice.
Chapter Seven
Roofie means I love you
The shaking of the plane and the lack of sleep had made me twitchy. I hadn’t eaten in ages and my strength had waned. When I got inside the hotel room in Belgium, I flopped onto the bed. It wasn't the VIP suite in the Burj Al Arab in Dubai. It was a dumpy hotel that none of us would be caught dead in, in the real world. But this wasn't the real world.
This was a tired place where I had no idea if I would ever recover from. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
When I woke, a man was sitting in the corner in the armchair. I sat up quickly when I realized I wasn't dreaming and there truly was a man there. The light coming in from the streetlamps shone enough for me to see it wasn't the man it should have been.
“You fucked it up. Yo
u were supposed to stay in the car,” Servario muttered.
I nodded slowly. “I realize that but the driver tried to rape me.”
“What?”
“You didn't notice the dead driver in the car we walked past?”
“You killed the driver?” His tone dropped off like he was cluing in. He got up, climbing onto the bed. “I assumed my reputation would buy you safety there. I didn't know. I left you in the car like a possession, to show them who you were to me.”
“Great.” I nodded again. “I have to go. Coop is just helping those kids and meeting me back home.”
He crawled over me, pushing me back on the bed with a light shove. “Did you truly mean what you said to me about La La Land?”
“Yeah. I truly meant I love you. I do, even if you’re complicated and you live in a disturbing world and you always leave me to fend for myself.”
“We live in the same world, Evie.”
I shook my head, staring up into his dark eyes. “No, we don't. In my world I still would have risked everything to save those kids. I never could have drank just down the hallway from that. You walked past it, you didn't care. I am not a monster, I can’t be one.”
“I was leaving tracking devices and audio as a favor for the CIA. They are busting the human trafficking ring up. Granted, they aren’t getting all of it now that we won’t have surveillance because you blew the building up.” He sighed. “We had a reason for being there.”
“But again, you didn't tell me. You say you trust me but you don't. You never let me in on the things that are happening.”
“You have no poker face. You see kids in trouble and overreact.”
“Overreact to human trafficking? You are an asshole who doesn't care about anything,” I growled as I sat up, shoving him off me. I turned and climbed off the bed, storming from the room to find Luce. I didn't care that I was in my underwear and tank top. I didn't care that I had no shoes on. I didn't care. I just left.
When I got to the elevator I pushed the button rapidly. As the door opened I went to step in, but he rushed me, pushing me in with him. He spun me around and pinned me against the wall as the doors closed. The light in the shitty elevator was dim and flickering.
He seethed into my face, “I cared. I cared, goddammit. I cared in a way you can’t imagine. I sit next to those fucks, and I tolerate their bullshit by telling myself every single one of those kids is only one soul and I have to save millions.” His voice cracked. It sounded the way my heart did. “I care. I care about you. I have loved you my whole life, and I have to live with the fact that you are with him—that boy. You are safe with him. Why do you think I don't fight for you, Evie?” He pushed me into the wall as the elevator sat, frozen there on the same floor. “I let him have you, I let him love you. You are his because he keeps you safe, Evie. That's one way I can keep you safe.” He dropped to his knees, dragging my underwear to the side and burying his warm mouth between my legs. He licked, sliding a finger up inside me. The light flickered off and on, and I wasn't certain if it was my eyelids or the actual lights. “But make no mistake, every bit of you is mine.”
His fingers slid in and out of me as his tongue flicked my clit. I gripped the wall, clutching to the handrail.
He pulled back, pummeling his finger in and out harder, making my knees nearly buckle. “This is mine, Evie. You are mine.”
He stood, tearing my underwear off and lifting me into the air. I rested against the wall, seated on the handrail. He wrestled with his buckle and pants for a moment as we explored each other’s mouths, gripping each other with desperation.
When he released himself, he plunged into me. We both moaned, filling the quiet elevator with noise. His thrusting echoed off the walls, bouncing my body. In the flashing light I caught a glimpse of our bodies writhing and grinding against each other. His hands cupped my ass. He spun me around, holding me in the air. I planted my feet on the railing on the wall and let him rock me up and down on his cock. I gripped him, pushing with my legs, desperate for the orgasm I had been denied for forty-eight straight hours.
“I need you, Evie. I need you in my life.” He pulled me into him, gripping and grunting into the silence.
My body riding his began to clench down as his fingers bit in. We came at the exact same moment, gripping and sweating.
He thrust harder for the last few strokes, jerking into me as I quivered over him.
He pushed the open button on the elevator and walked us back down the hall to my hotel room. The door was still ajar so he just walked in, closing it and leaning against the back of it. He let me slide down him, but still gripped me. “Let’s take a shower, Evie. I adore our showers.” He led me to the bathroom, closing the door and starting the hot water so we could rinse off everything—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
When we got into bed he held me, but even there in the safety of our La La Land, I could see their faces. I could feel the hot blood running down my fingertips. I could see all the levels of sin in the world in color. Joining that horrid imagery was the knowledge we would go back to the real world tomorrow and this would end. This bliss of true love would be over, and I would have to face my feelings, my fears.
He kissed my cheek and whispered into my skin, “I want you in my world, but I have to change the world first.”
There was no response for that. So I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep, letting him hold me in that place built on the lies we had told ourselves.
I woke, confused to see a strange room in a hotel.
“Hey!” Luce smiled at me from the chair in the corner.
“Where are we?” I blinked and rubbed my eyes. “What happened? Where are we?” I asked again, realizing my throat felt funny, and I couldn't seem to shake the fog in my head.
“Europe.” She answered like I should know where we were. “You don't remember coming here? We came two days ago.”
“No. I don't remember anything.” It was true; I didn't recall the trip. I remembered we had talked about Europe. I had fought with Coop about coming. But everything was fuzzy.
“What do you remember?”
“I was in—” I paused and thought back to the last thing I recalled—the jet with Servario and something about a red dress—or was it? Was I wearing a red dress? Everything was a haze. “Oh shit, my head hurts. How did I get here? Did we do a job?” I lifted my head, swallowing hard. “Did Servario abandon me again?”
“Sort of.” She nodded, sighing. “And he said he took your memories with some drug. He said it was better for you. I didn't think it would work. He asked me to sit here until you woke.” She was awfully cavalier about the whole thing while I was freaking out.
“He said what? Where are we? Why did he take my memories? Or better yet, how? What’s better about this? I feel sick. Jesus, what did I do?” My heart raced as I tried hard to reach the memories that were gone and wondering what in the hell he had talked me into that I needed to forget. I squeezed my butt to make sure he hadn’t conned me into some of that. Thankfully, it felt normal. I gave Luce a look. “Where’s Coop?” If I was safe with anyone, it was him.
“We’re in Belgium.” She paled a little, looking down. “Coop’s dealing with the brothel you raided in Dubai.” She said it weirdly, like she was embarrassed to tell me that.
“What brothel?” It hit me then that I had clearly seen something Servario knew I needed to be rid of. “Was it bad? Did he whore me out?”
“Much worse than that, Evie.” Her eyes were haunted.
“He took my memories on purpose? Because he made me do things?” Tears filled my eyes. “Oh my God. I had always sort of assumed he would keep me relatively safe. Oh my God.” I had fooled myself when it came to him on a lot of things. This one left a sinking feeling in my heart and nausea everywhere else.
“No, wait.” She shook her head. “No. He didn't make you do anything. You killed and went savage and then saved some teenagers. I think he wanted you to forget the way you kill—it’s jus
t better.”
“Oh.” I frowned at Luce, confused but oddly grateful I didn't know what she was talking about. I had killed in a way he knew I wouldn’t want to remember? That was a bad sign. I blinked tears down my cheeks and wiped them away. “How bad?”
“Bad.”
There were things I didn't need to remember; I could admit that. But I had a bad feeling some of the things I did need were gone with the rubble. “Can you give me the Coles Notes version of what you know?”
She nodded and began with the jet ride I had slight recall of.
The story took turns I didn't expect, but in the end I decided the headache and confusion were worth not knowing what in the hell had happened.
I was tired in a way I didn't understand, but all I could do was hope Servario had protected me and chosen to wipe my memory because of horrors I had seen and not horrors I had experienced.
Chapter Eight
Today
I blinked and the room moved closer and then farther back, wobbling a bit like I was still dreaming or drugged. But that wasn't it. I was exhausted. Falling asleep after the STI testing wasn't easy. My brain did laps, especially after the nurse had told me it would be three weeks before all the results were in.
Three weeks.
Three weeks of wondering if I had contracted something heinous I could give my kids.
I groaned and climbed from the empty bed, realizing Coop hadn’t arrived. A thought trickled through my mind. Maybe he had come home, but maybe he had chosen not to come to bed.
Luce’s version of the story didn't hold me in very good light. It sounded like I had run off with Servario again. Which sounded exactly like something I would have done. I grabbed my phone, turning it on and sighing when I saw a text from a random number. I opened the message, losing my breath and ability to stand.
Sorry you feel that way. You know how I feel. How I will always feel.