“Dang it, Lilian! Don't give Dawn the wrong idea!”
The woman might look like a humble employee working in the produce department, and she might even be nice and helpful, but Kevin knew from experience that she could be also devious when she wanted to be. He clearly remembered the time he’d gotten into trouble for bringing a bird into the store; Dawn had teased him for weeks. He could only imagine how insufferable she would be if she thought he and Lilian were dating.
“I'm impressed.” Dawn nodded her head up and down, surveying Lilian from head to toe with a critical eye. “You've managed to get yourself a gorgeous girlfriend. She's definitely a keeper.”
Kevin buried his face in his hands as Lilian's smile widened. He was beginning to regret ever coming to this store.
The not-as-nice anymore woman thoughtfully rubbed her chin. “I don't think I've seen you around before. Are you must be new here…”
Kevin watched as the woman's eyes widened. He didn't know what thoughts were going through her head, but he had a very bad feeling. Somehow, he just knew that she would say something stupid and potentially humiliating.
“Wait! Don't tell me, you're a supermodel and this is your first time in Arizona!”
Kevin didn't know if a facepalm would be enough to express how dumb he thought Dawn's words were. He wondered if maybe smashing his face into a wall would express his opinion more clearly.
“But wait! How did Kevin get a supermodel girlfriend when he can't even talk to regular girls?” Dawn continued with a laugh.
At the insult to his masculine pride, Kevin tripped on a speck of dust, slamming face first into the floor.
“Ow…”
“No, I'm not a supermodel.” Lilian smiled brightly at the woman. “Thank you for the compliment, though.” Finally, she looked down at Kevin in concern, as he literally pried his face off the floor. “Are you alright, Beloved?”
“I'm fine.” Kevin rubbed at his face, which now stung something fierce. At least he hadn’t broken his nose. “Lilian, why don't you give me half of the list, and while Dawn helps you select the seasonings and whatever produce you need, I'll grab the other things we need.”
He didn't want to be around these two as they continued talking. It would likely be far too embarrassing, and he felt humiliated enough as it was.
“I don't know,” Lilian looked unsure. She didn't want to leave her mate's side for any reason.
“I'll be really quick,” Kevin said, then added, “And this way we can get our shopping done faster. Then if you want we can, uh, go out for a picnic.” It was only after Kevin finished speaking that he realized what he had suggested.
His eyes widened. Stupid, stupid, stupid! That was the dumbest thing he could have ever said; he might as well just ask Lilian on a date right now! What had possessed him to say that?
“A picnic with you…” Lilian's eyes had gone wide with shock, but that emotion only lasted for a second before the largest, most blindingly-bright smile that he had ever seen to date appeared on the fox-girl's face.
Kevin had to shut his eyes, lest he be blinded by the moé.
“Oh, Beloved! I love you so much!”
“Oof!”
“I can't believe my Beloved and I are finally going on a date! I'm so happy!”
It was easy to tell that Lilian was quite joyful. Kevin, on the other hand…
“Lilian… can't… breathe…”
… Not so much.
***
After just barely managing to escape with his chastity intact, Kevin found himself wandering the meat department, looking at the somewhat torn list that Lilian had given him.
“Let's see,” he murmured as he studied the list, “I need to get beef loin, beef brisket, filet mignon, sirloin, porterhouse, ham, loin, Boston shoulder…” He went on to read more and more of the list, which moved on to include chicken, shrimp, crab, lamb, ground beef, mutton, venison and wild boar, of all things. The longer his irises scanned the list, the wider his eyes became.
This… this was a really long list. She didn't honestly think he could get all of this, did she? Some of the items weren't even available in America, much less a simple grocery store. Wild boar? Seriously?
As Kevin tried to decide how to tell Lilian that there was no way he could afford half of this―and that even if he could, a good deal of what she wanted wasn't available―a voice spoke from behind him.
“Excuse me, I was wondering if I could ask for your opinion on something.”
Kevin turned around to see a young woman in a business suit standing before him. The woman, despite the expensive-looking suit, had the appearance of some kind of Amazon warrior princess. Her dark brown hair was short and messy, like she had been sticking her head out of a car window while driving down the highway. Two dark brown eyes were set in a face that, while nowhere near as gorgeous as Lilian’s, possessed a strange sort of attractiveness to it. In a way, this woman sort of reminded him of Lindsay. The face was tomboyish and cute, but a little more… feral? Yes, it was a little more feral than Lindsay's fairer features. With a face that looked like it belonged deep within the Amazon rain forest, Kevin felt surprised by how good the suit looked on her.
“Um, are you talking to me?” Kevin pointed to himself as he stared dumbly at the woman. In response to his somewhat stupid question―because it should have been obvious that she was, in fact, talking to him―the well-dressed female gave him a feral-looking grin that, surprisingly, did make him want to run to the hills. It was odd. Her grin should have been frightening—was frightening. But, strangely, he didn’t feel scared by it.
It must be her default look.
He wondered if she’d been taking lessons from Zarachi Kenpoochi from White Out, but then remembered that Zarachi scared the crap out of him and discarded that line of thought.
“Who else would I be talking to?” she asked, making a wide gesture with her hand to indicate the area around them. “Do you see anyone else here?”
Now that he was looking, Kevin didn't see anyone else around them. How strange. He could have sworn the meat clerk had been stocking the shelves just a few seconds ago.
***
Lying unconscious in the freezer was none other than the meat clerk. His hands and legs had been tied together by what appeared to be a really long hose. There was a large bump on his head, a round lump about the size of a baseball, and what looked like a pair of bandages forming an x-pattern over it. Lying on the ground by his side was a monkey wrench, the likely perpetrator for his unconscious state.
That poor, poor meat clerk.
***
“I don't mind helping you out. What did you want to ask me?” Kevin asked.
“I was wondering which type of meat you think is better?” She asked, holding up twp packages of meat. “I've got a younger brother who can't do anything for himself, so I've got to shop for him. Unfortunately, he's like a vacuum cleaner when it comes to food, and will eat just about anything, so it's hard to figure out what to buy. I want him to eat something he’ll like, but I also don’t want to waste money buying something expensive if he doesn’t care. That’s why I’d like your opinion.”
Kevin scratched the back of his neck, looking at the two packages in Kiara's hands, before offering his honest opinion. “Personally speaking, I prefer the beef tenderloin. While the rib eye is much more tender, it also has a lot more fat.” He shrugged. “But if your brother doesn't care about any of that, he'll probably like the rib eye more. It’s also cheaper,” he added, almost as an afterthought.
“Huh.” Kiara looked between the two pieces of meat, her visage one of thoughtful wonder, before gazing at Kevin again. “Thanks. It's good to see someone as young as yourself actually doing their research. It shows that you can take care of yourself, unlike some people I know.” It was obvious to Kevin that she was referring to her brother.
“I live on my own…” Kevin trailed off, paused, then quickly changed his statement. “Well, I used to live on my own. A
nyway, since I've lived alone for so long, I had to learn how to cook. Plus, I've got a coach who really rides us about our diet. We spent an entire track practice last year dedicated to learning things like proper dieting, and what foods we should and shouldn't eat. I swear, that man's the biggest health freak I've ever met.”
“I'll bet,” Kiara said sympathetically, “I used to have a trainer who was like that. She was an absolute slave driver and always went on about how 'a healthy diet is crucial for a healthy body and mind.' Trust me, I understand exactly where you're coming from.”
“Thanks. I'm glad to find someone who understands what I'm going through.” Kevin felt a bit of kinship with this woman. If her trainer was even half the hard-ass that Coach Deretaine was, then he felt for her.
“Beloved!”
“Looks like you're girlfriend's calling for you.” Kiara gave him that feral grin of hers as Kevin began sputtering out denials. “I've got to go. Thanks again for the help, Swift.”
As Kiara hurried off, Lilian came up to him, lips turned down in a mild frown.
“I can't leave you alone for a single second, can I?” She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him with one of those looks; the kind all men get when their significant other catches them checking out another woman―or at least thinks they’re checking out another woman.
“What?” Kevin asked, blinking. “What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?”
“Never mind,” Lilian sighed. “I see that you didn't get any of the meat we need,” she observed as she put the fresh seasonings into the cart.
“Yeah.” Kevin scratched the back of his neck. “That lady asked me for my opinion on something, and I guess we just got caught up talking.”
“Why would she ask you and not the person working here?”
“Don't know.” Kevin looked around to see that the meat clerk was still missing. How odd. “Maybe because the meat clerk isn't here? Or, maybe she just wanted my opinion because I'm apparently close in age to her brother? That's who she was buying groceries for.” He looked at the aisle that the woman had walked down. “It's kind of weird, though…”
“What is?”
“That woman had both cuts of meat when she left, but didn't put either of them away.”
Come to think of it, she also seemed to know that Lilian was talking to him, even though Lilian had been behind her when she spoke.
Lilian had also called him “Beloved,” so that woman shouldn't have known who the fox-girl was talking to. There were at least five other people in their vicinity who could have been the recipient of Lilian's call.
And wait, hadn’t she called him Swift? He didn’t remember giving that woman his name, so how did she know who he was?
A shiver passed through him. He felt like something creepy had just happened and he missed it. Kevin didn't know if that was a good thing or not.
“Hmm,” Lilian narrowed her eyes, which were now locked onto Kiara's departing figure. “That suit…”
“Lilian?”
“It's nothing.”
Lilian shook her head and smiled at Kevin. They grabbed several packages of meat on the list, though she became awfully disappointed when he told her that this grocery store didn't sell wild boar. When they finished, Lilian wrapped her arms around Kevin, who pushed the cart as they exited the meat department.
“Let's finish shopping; I want to go on that picnic you promised me.”
“Yeah, sure,” Kevin sighed. He could already tell that this was going to be a long shopping trip, and he was not looking forward to that picnic either.
Him and his big mouth.
***
Kevin's belief that their trip to the grocery store would be a long one was proven correct when, mere seconds after leaving the meat department, they were interrupted by a loud shout of, “Woah! What is up, brother?!”
Kevin and Lilian spun around to stare at a woman dressed in black pants and a black shirt. Her dark blue eyes stared back at the pair, and her blond hair was pulled into a ponytail that went down her back.
“Hey, Cathy,” Kevin greeted the woman who was pushing along a very large steel cart. Cathy worked for the online shopping program the store offered, which basically meant that she shopped for customers who were too lazy to do it themselves.
“You know, when I first saw you two, I didn't think it could possibly be you.” Cathy gave Kevin a toothy grin. “Imagine my surprise when I realized that it not only was you, but that you were traveling with a girl, and a gorgeous one at that.” She playfully punched his shoulder. “When were you going to tell me that you had a girlfriend?”
“We just started dating two weeks ago, so of course he couldn't tell you,” Lilian told Cathy. “This is the first time we've visited the grocery store since we've become a couple.”
“Don't go giving people the wrong impression about us!” Kevin shouted.
“I see, I see.” Cathy nodded her head. “So you two are a new couple.”
Several veins throbbed on Kevin's forehead. Why was everyone ignoring him? What was this, “let's all ignore Kevin day?”
“Whatever happened to that other girl you had your eyes on?” Cathy continued with a puzzled expression. “That one girl, the short blond with the pixie cut. What was her name again?”
“There is no other girl,” Lilian declared, her eyes glowing a bright green as they narrowed almost imperceptibly at Cathy. “I am the only girl that my Beloved has ever wanted to be with.”
“Lilian, what the heck are you doing?” Kevin asked, then he remembered what she had done to Ms. Vis last Monday. His eyes widened.
“Oh, I see.” Cathy's eyes glazed over as the enchantment took effect. “That's right. There is no other girl. My bad.”
“It's fine.” Lilian had a self-satisfied smirk on her face as she stared at the woman. “You didn't know. But now that you do, I expect that you’ll never mention this other girl again.”
“Right,” Cathy's voice reminded Kevin of a drone; dull and lifeless. “I'll never mention this other girl again.”
“Very good. You can go now.”
As Cathy began walking away, Kevin glared at the redhead.
“What. The heck. Was that?” he asked, his voice containing a hint of the annoyance he felt.
“Just correcting a misunderstanding,” Lilian tried to sooth her beloved mate. Needless to say, Kevin was not soothed in the least.
***
Kevin nearly groaned in relief as he and Lilian finally entered the checkout lane. Despite the shopping trip not taking more than half an hour, it had felt much, much longer.
What was it with everyone thinking that he and Lilian were a couple? Just because they were shopping together didn't mean they were dating or anything…
… Okay, so maybe Lilian being so close to him gave off the impression that they were a couple. And yes, the fact that Lilian kept telling everyone who would listen that they were a couple didn't help disavow that impression. Those enchantments that Lilian kept casting on people whenever that other girl was mentioned probably didn’t help either, but really, none of that should have mattered. They should have listened to him when he told them that he and Lilian weren’t an item. The least they could have done was give him the benefit of the doubt. He had known them longer than Lilian had—they’d only just met her today! They should have believed him over her.
As the conveyor belt began to move the woman standing behind the cash register greeted them. “Hello!” she said, her voice and manner overly cheerful.
“Hello, Susan,” Kevin sighed. This woman's bubbly nature, while normally endearing, only served to irritate him right then. He was tired and fed up and just wanted to leave.
“Oh! Kevin, how are… you…?” she trailed off when her eyes landed on Lilian, who was practically hanging off his arm. Her eyes widened. “Oh, my goodness! Kevin, you have a girlfriend!”
Kevin didn't know whether to groan or blush.
“I do not have a girlfriend!”
<
br /> Susan ignored him.
“So when did you two start dating?”
“We're not dating! And don't ignore me!”
“We've been dating for about two weeks now,” Lilian declared proudly, ignoring Kevin the way she usually did when he said something that she thought was silly.
“How wonderful,” the woman gushed excitedly, “I'm so happy for you, Kevin and―”
“Lilian.”
“Lilian. You two make such a cute couple.”
Blushing demurely, Lilian gave the woman a pleased smile. “Thanks! I think so, too.”
“Don't make this situation sound worse than it already is, Susan! And you!” He glared at Lilian. “Be quiet!”
“Hey, Liz! Come over here.” Kevin groaned as the cashier called another employee over; a brunette with shoulder-length hair and a black apron. “Check it out. Kevin's got a girlfriend.”
“I do not have a girlfriend!” By this point Kevin was pretty much crying tears of despair. What the heck was going on here? Why was everyone ignoring him?
“Oh, my gosh, you have a girlfriend!” Liz seemed just as excited as everyone else had been to meet his “girlfriend.” Like the others, she had known Kevin since he’d begun shopping there in eighth grade. “This is so exciting! I wasn’t sure if you'd ever get a girlfriend because of how shy you are.”
“Why does everyone think you're shy, Beloved?” Lilian asked her on-the-verge-of-tears not-boyfriend.
“Because Kevin's always been very shy around girls,” Susan answered, also looking confused, though for the inverse reason that Lilian looked confused. “Didn't you know that?”
“But he isn't,” Lilian refuted, defending her mate. “He might get a little embarrassed some times, but I have yet to see him act shy around me.”
If Kevin had Spidey senses like a certain web-slinger, they’d be tingling. He knew exactly what was going to happen. It had already happened at least once. Even now, a full week after it had happened, he could still remember how his secret crush, Lindsay Diane, had face-planted into her salad after passing out from Lilian’s offhand comment about how she and Kevin were engaged.
A Fox's Tail (American Kitsune Book 2) Page 7