by Zoey Draven
“What does luxiva mean?” was her next question. It took him by surprise, his shoulders bunching.
“Mate,” he rumbled in reply.
She sucked in a breath. “Did you…did you call Nitav that?”
The cave went quiet. Both of them had frozen. Even the fire seemed to be waiting for his reply.
“Nix,” he said softly. “Luxiva means mate, but more specifically, it means ‘fated one.’ Nitav…” He trailed off before trying again. “Nitav was not my fated mate. She was a Breeding partner, a chosen one.”
Taylor’s gaze flicked to the fire, her expression unreadable. “Why do you think she wasn’t your fated mate?”
Vikan had often wondered the same thing during their time together. “The Fates had other plans for me,” he answered, holding her gaze, hoping that his unspoken meaning reached her.
“What happens,” she started slowly, “when fated mates part ways?”
Death, he immediately thought, but didn’t voice this to her. He wanted Taylor to choose him willingly, not because she felt obligated to.
But the fact remained the same. Many fated pairings didn’t survive without the other. Although, Vikan did not know if this went both ways if one side of the pairing was not Luxirian. But many males, once their fated mates died during the Plague, decided that they could not and would not live without their other half. They’d not only lost many females during that period, but many males as well.
“They survive if they can,” was what he told her.
When he saw her brow furrow in confusion, he quickly unsheathed one of his blades, settling beside her so he could begin preparations on their meal.
“Now,” he murmured, “let me feed my mate.”
* * *
Taylor wasn’t used to being taken care of. She’d been independent from the time she was young, ever since her dad died and her grandmother had taken her in.
She told Vikan this as she watched him prepare what looked like a monstrous fish from the Jurassic period. He expertly plucked out long, white spines, and scraped away the gray, shimmering scales before filleting it with clean, confident strokes.
The sound he made was almost like an incredulous snort when he replied, “Your previous males did not take care of you?”
“Well they didn’t go hunt things for me to eat, if that’s what you’re asking,” she replied, her tone slightly teasing.
A scowl appeared on his lips and he turned his horned head to regard her. “How many males came before me?”
Taylor made a surprised sound in the back of her throat. “Are you asking me how many boyfriends I’ve had?”
His expression was quizzical at ‘boyfriends’ but he seemed to grasp her meaning. “Tev.”
She swallowed, but decided to tell him. “Five.”
His hand stilled on his blade, but his fist tightened on the handle. “Five,” he repeated.
“None of them lasted very long,” she murmured. “Why? How many females have you had?”
“If you are speaking of partnerships, then just Nitav. If you are speaking of matings…” He trailed off, blowing out a breath. “I do not know.”
Taylor’s mouth parted. “You don’t know how many sexual partners you’ve had?”
Why did she feel a hot streak of jealousy run through her veins at that? She was picturing hundreds of females in her mind who had known him intimately.
And she’d never even kissed him.
Well, not in real-life, at least.
“Luxirians are liberal with matings,” he told her. “We are one of the more free species in that regard.”
“But…but,” she sputtered.
“I have not had a female since Nitav,” he confessed, searing her with a gaze. “But before her, I was a young warrior. Does this bother you?”
“I’ve had sex with four of those five boyfriends,” she told him, eliciting a growl from him. “You can’t be mad about that, considering you just told me you have no idea how many females you’ve had sex with.”
He was still growling low in his throat and suddenly, he caught her around the nape of her neck, drawing her close. He pressed his forehead against hers and Taylor gasped, inhaling the scent of his skin, fresh from the sea.
“You feel that jealousy, do you not?” he rasped. “That burning sensation at the thought others have touched me and you have not.”
“Vikan,” she said softly, eyes wide on his.
“You can touch me whenever you wish, female,” he rasped and she felt those words pool in her stomach like lava.
“I’m afraid to,” she admitted, her head spinning, wondering what the hell was happening.
“Why?”
“Because…because I’m afraid I won’t want to stop,” she confessed, her brow furrowing. “I admit that there’s something between us. I feel it constantly, even before you took me a couple nights ago. And I’m afraid of what would happen if I gave into it. I’m afraid what it would do to me.”
Vikan’s eyes slid shut and he took a deep breath in before exhaling. Then he released her, his heat gone in the blink of an eye. Taylor swayed a bit before steadying herself.
Vikan picked up his blade like nothing happened and resumed his preparations.
“It is inevitable,” he said softly. “I cannot think of a fated pairing that resisted the Instinct’s call.”
In a flash, the memory of his naked body from earlier that afternoon flashed into her mind. She remembered his cock, impossibly large and thick, with hard knobs lining both the top and bottom. The head had been shimmering with pre-cum.
She bit her lip, her skin buzzing so much that she wrapped her arms around her body, despite not being cold.
She had a feeling he was right.
“I…I don’t know if you’d fit,” she confessed.
“Tev, I will,” he murmured almost immediately, as if this was the most natural thing to discuss. “Your body was made to receive me.”
Taylor sucked in a breath as arousal flooded her. His hand slipped on the blade but then he caught himself and resumed.
He continued, “You know we are compatible in that way. You have seen it, how good it will be.”
Will be. Not might be.
As if it was a sure thing they’d eventually have sex.
And in a way…she knew that was true.
Taylor almost whimpered but she squeezed her thighs together, trying to prevent him from scenting how turned on she was just thinking about it, just remembering her dreams.
Damn, she wanted him.
She chalked it up to sexual frustration and being around him for the past two days straight. But Taylor had always known what she wanted. And right now it was him.
Even she knew that would be a terrible idea.
“You fight it,” he noted, pausing in his work to look at her. His thigh pressed into her own and she didn’t move away. “Why?”
“Because we hardly know each other!” she exclaimed. “Because I’ll be leaving soon anyway.”
Vikan’s nostrils flared and in a low voice he murmured, “Let us pretend that you chose to stay with me.”
She shook her head, “Vikan…”
“Let us pretend that you wanted to stay. Would being with me be so terrible?”
Taylor’s brow furrowed. “No. I just…everything has happened so fast. And I don’t know what’s happening half the time. Hell, I don’t know what I’m feeling half the time.”
“You promised you would be open to this,” he gently reminded her. “At least until we reach my outpost.”
“It’s not that easy,” she told him, but then swallowed. He’d been so different that day, not as tense as he’d been before. More…open. And she hadn’t held up her end of the deal. She let out a heavy sigh, looking into his eyes. “But you’re right. I did promise.”
“Then for tonight,” he started, “let us pretend.”
“I…I don’t know if I’m ready for sex,” she admitted, a flush rising up her neck.
He shook his head. “We will not mate this night. Let us just see how it can be between us without any distractions.”
As she looked at him, his skin glowing from the fire, she wondered if she could do that. Could she really forget everything, all her worries, and pretend with him? Just for one night?
When he reached out to touch her collarbone, feeling the softness of her skin there, as if he couldn’t help himself, her body seemed to answer for her. Her muscles loosened, her heart jumped with anticipation.
I’m due a night of fun, she reasoned. She didn’t remember the last time she’d just relaxed with someone, no strings attached, no expectations of sex or the awkwardness of unspoken things.
Her dreams rose in her mind, remembering how carefree, how happy she’d been with him. She wanted to see if she could feel that way right then.
And if she could? She acknowledged it would complicate things.
But she’d never know if she didn’t take the chance.
“Okay,” she said, giving into him once again. Why was he so damn persuasive? “Just for tonight, we can pretend.”
Vikan purred.
And Taylor got the sense that what she just said would be classified under ‘Famous Last Words’ by the time he was finished with her.
THIRTEEN
“THAT WAS SO good,” Taylor said, sighing contently. Her belly was full of delicious, freshly caught seafood, she was warm and dry, and once she allowed herself permission to lighten up, to not overthink everything when it came to Vikan, she was enjoying herself with him. Immensely.
“More?” he asked her, plucking a section of the hearty white fish-like meat from one of creatures he’d brought back with him. He presented it to her and he purred when she obliged him, letting him feed her.
Surprisingly, Taylor didn’t mind it. With anyone else, she would’ve balked at the thought of a man, boyfriend or not, feeding her. But with Vikan, it felt…natural. And it seemed to please him so much, to be able to provide for her, that Taylor found herself even liking it, enjoying his reactions and the way he looked at her with masculine satisfaction after every bite.
That time, however, she couldn’t help but let the edges of her tongue graze his fingers, swiping at the delicious flavors and savoring them.
Vikan stilled and growled. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw his erect cock pulse, the movement so obvious, so telling of his arousal.
“I’m full now,” she murmured, holding his gaze. “Thank you for dinner.”
It had been a feast. At first, she’d been hesitant to try the odd, strange looking creatures he’d caught right off the shore, but she was glad she did. The textures hadn’t been unlike flaky fish and chewy clams and the flavors had been fresh and delicious.
“It was my honor, female,” he purred to her.
Taylor smiled. “You really liked feeding me, huh?”
“Tev,” he rasped. Then he explained, “It is an intimacy shared between mates on Luxiria.”
Her cheeks flushed. She hadn’t blushed so much in her entire life than in the past few days. “Oh.”
She watched him finish the rest of the food quickly, wondering how much he usually ate. To fuel that body, those muscles, he had to eat an enormous amount.
“So,” she started, “you said that Luxirians are warriors. What does that mean exactly?”
She wanted to know more about him, beyond what she knew about him in her dreams. Because, whether she’d chosen it or not, she’d ended up on this alien planet and she realized she knew next to nothing about it, about his race.
He dragged her closer to him, unashamed, and Taylor let him, enjoying his heat and attention.
“We aid our allies and the Uranian Federation in times of war,” he told her. “Luxirians are known across the Quadrants as the best warriors. We train from a young age, dedicate the entirety of our life spans to honing our strength and skills.”
“So you actually fight in wars,” she murmured, furrowing her brow. Why did the thought of him doing that make dread pool in her stomach? “In battles?”
“Tev,” he said. “We are summoned when needed. But I am an Ambassador now and there are other warriors that would be called upon first.”
“An Ambassador?”
“One of Vaxa’an’s Ambassadors. There are five of us. We run and oversee the outposts spread across Luxiria. My outpost is Lopixa, in the western lands. These lands,” he said, “are my responsibility.”
Her lips parted. “It is actually your outpost? I thought you just meant you lived there.”
“I do live there,” he told her, his arm tightening around her waist, nuzzling the side of his head into her own. A few days ago, Taylor would’ve never guessed how affectionate he could be. He’d seemed so…cold to her before.
Now? She could never use that word to describe him.
“Vaxa’an made me Ambassador of Lopixa shortly after Nitav died,” he admitted to her. “I have grown to love it and it is the only home I could ever imagine. I hope to show it to you, in its entirety.”
“Maybe you will,” she said softly, after a moment. “But I suppose I’ve already seen some of it.”
In her dreams, at least.
He grunted. “Tev, that is true.”
“It must be a lot of work,” she commented. “Running an outpost, I mean.”
“When I do not need to travel back and forth from the Golden City to Lopixa, it is manageable. It is a peaceful outpost. We train a section of young warriors there, but we also import food and fire fuel to the other outposts and to the Golden City.”
“Consider me impressed,” she teased lightly.
He huffed out a breath, sounding amused. Then he murmured against the shell of her ear, making goosebumps prickle her skin, “My rank gives me privileges and luxuries that you would share in. I could care for you well, luxiva.”
Taylor bit her lip, her stomach fluttering at his voice. It seemed that all he wanted was to take care of her. But what about him?
And because they were pretending, she turned to look at him and whispered, “I would want to take care of you too, Vikan.”
“You will,” he said immediately, his hand sliding down. “In other ways.”
His meaning made heat pool between her legs. Even so, she said, “That’s…that’s not what I meant. I would want to give you more than just sex.”
“I have heard that sex between fated mates is more than can be imagined,” he told her, swallowing, his eyes heated. “It is not just sex. It is the blood bond. It is companionship. It is knowing another so intimately that you are one. That is what lies in our future.”
Her breath hitched when he said blood bond because she remembered what experiencing that had been like, in her dreams. She didn’t even know what it was, but she knew how it felt, that connection, that rightness.
“It would strip us both bare,” he continued. “That is what we would give to each other.”
“That scares me,” she admitted quietly. “Doesn’t it scare you?”
“Tev,” he answered immediately, which surprised her.
“But you seem so accepting of it.”
“I am,” he said. “I am frightened of it too. But I will not let fear control my decisions. I will not let fear control my fate. Not anymore. It scares me, to be so closely tied with another being, but I want it as well. Very much.”
Taylor softened at that.
“It is like moving forward, tev?” he murmured to her, repeating what she’d told him earlier.
She couldn’t help the small smile that spread across her lips. “Yes, I suppose so.”
Taylor couldn’t help but wonder if he’d been this way with Nitav. Honest, open, affectionate, caring, protective. Everything that she’d ever thought to want in a partner.
It was hard to forget how deeply he’d loved the female before her, however. It concerned her that he still wasn’t over that relationship. And how could they even think of a future if Vikan’s mind was still in the past?<
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Taylor closed her eyes, telling herself that she wouldn’t think about it. Not that night. Not when she’d promised them both to enjoy it, to take advantage of whatever might happen, no matter the consequences.
It was on the tip of her tongue to ask him about Nitav. About his life with her, about what she’d been like, whether she’d been beautiful, whether she’d made him laugh.
But she didn’t. As much as she wanted to know more about Vikan—because she was honest enough with herself to admit that she was becoming more than a little obsessed with the alien male—she wanted that night to just be about him and her. No one else.
If they were going to pretend, she might as well really pretend.
So, instead, she changed the subject and asked him something that had been on her mind.
“Will you tell me more about your gift?” she requested. “About what it’s like for you?”
Vikan was silent for a long while, long enough that Taylor began to wonder if he would even answer her. But eventually, he told her, “Like I said, my mother’s line was full of gifts from the Fates. It is rare, very rare. None other, besides you, can see what I see.”
Taylor swallowed. “Do you know if your mother had a gift?”
He shook his head. “It tends to run in males. My sire told me she did not, but told me about her sire’s gift.”
“The dreamwalker,” she said softly, glancing over at him. He had his arm wrapped around her waist tightly, pressing her closely to the side of his body, supporting her.
“Tev,” he said, watching the fire flicker and sway in their little cave. “But my gift has always been foresight. Truthfully, I hate it.”
She reached out to touch his thigh. “Really?”
“I have told no one that. Ever,” he said, tearing his gaze away from the fire to look at her hand before his eyes lifted to her face.
Taylor felt bare at that look, vulnerable. “Why do you hate it? I know a lot of people who would like to be able to see the future.”
He made a gravelly sound in the back of his throat. “I find it quite useless. And it brings a fair amount of pain.”