by Zoey Draven
It was a night full of good food and laughter and community and dancing.
And she’d missed it because she’d been so damn tired.
“I could not even wake you,” he murmured, pushing open the door to their house and letting it fall heavy behind them. “I was concerned, but Pillenva assured me it was normal.”
Taylor sighed again but then she teased, “Please tell me you didn’t make a scene and summon the healer in the middle of the celebration.”
“I made the drummers stop their music and roared for the dancers to cease until Pillenva could find us through the crowds,” he told her.
Taylor laughed, knowing that he did no such thing and that he was simply joking with her. “I wouldn’t put it past you, babe.”
“Would you like a hot soak or would you like to sleep more?” he asked her, his eyes studying her features. Even though he may not have made a scene at the celebration like he’d teased, Taylor could still see the concern on his features, could feel his concern and worry through their blood bond. It reached out to her, like a touch, and she met it, sending waves of reassurance back.
“Well,” she murmured, smiling, “seeing as how I already had my nap, I think a bath sounds perfect.”
Vikan purred, telling her that they would be doing more than simply soaking in their washroom that night. Honestly, Taylor couldn’t remember a time when they hadn’t had sex in that heated pool.
He wound his way through their labyrinth of a home until he came to their washroom, one of her favorite places in the house. Like all Luxirian dwellings, their washroom had a large, sunken in ‘tub’ that was more like the size of a small pool. Vikan told her that in the Golden City, the kirvax, as he called them, were naturally heated from below the mountain, like a hot spring that continually filtered the water. There, in Lopixa however, they’d emulated the kirvax with an intricate heating and filtration system that pulled water from the sea.
Taylor had never been happier when she’d first seen it and they spent a good majority of their nights soaking in it…among other activities.
Slowly, Vikan set her down until she was on her feet, but he kept her close to his body as he helped her unpin and push down the dress she’d worn to the celebration. The light, gauzy material slipped down her body and pooled at her feet, baring her growing breasts and her slightly rounded belly.
That familiar growling purr rose in her mate’s throat and he dropped to his knees in front of her to help her unlace her padded slippers. But once he was done, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to her abdomen, which protected their child that was growing quickly inside her.
Affection made tears sting her eyes as she ran her fingers through Vikan’s hair. He loved to hold her like this, loved to be close to his child. Taylor was only a month along, according to the healer of Lopixa, Pillenva. It told her that Vikan had gotten her pregnant during the last lunar celebration and Taylor remembered that night well. They’d been ravenous for one another and had mated all night long after the celebration had dispersed.
She might only be a month along, but another thing she’d learned was that Luxirian females had only gestated their young for three months. Kate, Vaxa’an’s mate, who had fallen pregnant first, had had their child a little after three months. All the healers suspected that Luxirian genes were dominant over human ones, which accounted for the quick pregnancy.
“It hardly seems real that in a couple months, we will have a baby in this house,” she murmured.
“Eventually this dwelling will be filled with offspring,” he rumbled.
Taylor laughed. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, buddy.”
But she couldn’t help but smile as she pictured little Vikans running around, with budding horns and gray eyes.
Finally, Vikan rose and undressed himself, before leading both of them into the bath, carefully helping her step down to where it was deepest. If she’d thought Vikan was protective and worried about her before, it was even worse now that she was pregnant.
Taylor would be lying if she said she didn’t like it, however. He loved her. He only wanted to make sure she was safe and healthy and happy. So Taylor could deal with it if he fretted over her a little more than usual.
She sighed, feeling the hot water seep into her tired limbs, relaxing the muscles and knots that came from the stress of planning the celebration that night. She wrapped her arms around her male’s neck, letting him support them both in the deep water, before pressing her always-sensitive breasts against him. Slowly, she tugged his head down and moaned softly as his lips found her own, giving her a kiss that made her smile but one that also sent hot shivers racing down her spine.
Soon, like always, that soft kiss became something more and it was a long time before they emerged from their washroom, flushed and clean and sated.
And as Taylor fell asleep in Vikan’s arms later that night, tucked securely into his side, in their luxurious bed of furs and cushions, she listened to the sound of his deep breaths, to the gentle hissing of the ocean waves beneath them and placed her hands over Vikan’s, which were resting protectively over her growing belly.
She felt his love for her through their blood bond, even though he was already asleep, and Taylor smiled, knowing he would find her that night in their dreams.
Her eyelids grew heavy and soon, she fell asleep to wait for him.
* * *
Taylor’s eyes drifted open slowly, that feeling of love and calmness crossing beyond the boundary of the dream with her, back to reality in their little cave, somewhere close to Lopixa. Her lips parted and for a moment, she swore she felt the heavy touch of the blood bond in her mind, just the way she remembered it from the dream.
But soon, it faded. Her vision, however, did not and her hands skimmed down her naked body, grazing over Vikan’s heavy arm, which was slung over her hips, until she touched her stomach.
A child.
Vikan’s child.
She’d been pregnant in her vision.
Taylor bit her bottom lip hard, a thousand emotions hitting her at once. The logical part of her brain said that it might have just been a dream, nothing more, that she shouldn’t get her hopes up.
Because the truth was that she’d always wanted children, had always seen a family in her future, but had lost some hope over the years of her ever making that dream a reality.
And now…she’d just been hit with everything she’d wanted most in life. A caring, protective partner, a child—and the possibility of many more—in their future, safety, security…love.
Happiness. Intense happiness, the kind she never thought was possible. The fairytale kind.
The logical part of her brain said it was too good to be true, that the amazing sex last night was just messing with her mind.
But…what if it is true? she thought. What if everything was true? The visions, the Fates, the blood bond, the pregnancy? What if choosing to stay on Luxiria, to build a life with Vikan, would be the best decision she would ever make?
She was so confused. All of her adult life Taylor had been proud that she was the type of person who knew exactly what she wanted. And here she was…confused about the most important decision that would change the course of her life forever, and she couldn’t pull the trigger.
Taking a deep breath, she turned slowly in Vikan’s arms so that she was facing him, side-by-side. Her body ached in protest, muscles twinging that she never even knew existed. The cave floor wasn’t the most comfortable thing to sleep on, but she had a feeling that she’d sleep on a cactus plant if it meant being next to Vikan.
Beyond the soreness, she felt amazing. All because of him.
Surprisingly, her Luxirian warrior was still sleeping but she supposed that the amount of energy he’d exerted last night during their marathon of sex had exhausted him. Every so often, she saw his eyes flicker behind his lids. The suns were still low in the horizon that early in the morning, so most of his skin still appeared a soft gray, just lik
e his eyes, and flashed golden whenever the firelight hit him just right.
Beautiful, she thought, her eyes flickering over the masculine, strong lines of his face. If she closed her eyes, she could still see him, so perfectly that she could draw a portrait of him.
And it suddenly hit her, out of nowhere. The answer was clear.
Taylor couldn’t say goodbye to him.
She drew in a deep breath before exhaling softly, relief making her sore muscles relax.
Perhaps it was reckless. Perhaps it was unlike her, to make such a spontaneous decision after knowing Vikan for less than three weeks, ever since he’d rescued her from the Pit.
But she also knew that despite her fears, she trusted her judgment. She trusted her intuition and everything told her that the dreams that had been plaguing her since she first saw Vikan were visions. Visions of their future together. Not just a possible future, but the future. The only one.
And in that future, they were happy.
And that was all Taylor had ever wanted. She’d already begun falling in love with Vikan. From her visions, she knew that love only multiplied and grew to astonishing heights and she simply couldn’t imagine just throwing that away.
She wanted to stay with him. Forever.
Taylor smiled, reaching out to touch her mate, trailing her fingers over the sculpted lines of his chest.
Now, if only he would wake up so that she could tell him.
NINETEEN
VIKAN FOUND HER where he always did. He found her where he met her, in the Golden City, in the bustling marketplace on the lowest terrace of the dark mountain.
She was oblivious to the crowds, in her own small world. She was browsing the furs and brightly colored spun silks, her head cocked to the side, her black hair tumbling down the length of her back. It had been her hair that had first caught his attention.
But unlike the other times when he visited her like this, Vikan wasn’t struck with grief or loss. He didn’t drink her in like he was parched. He didn’t study and try to memorize the lines of her beautiful face—which had begun to soften and fade as time went on—because now Vikan could see past that. He could see everything with new eyes.
And just like the other times, he knew it wasn’t really her. It was only their memories, tucked away in the safe spaces of his mind that he liked to visit often when he missed her, when he wanted to see her, when he wanted to remember.
“Nitav,” he called.
She turned to him, her blue eyes flashing, the silks forgotten as she immediately approached. Nitav reached out to touch his arm and just like always, her fingers were cold.
“You came back. You always do,” she said, her voice light and playful. A breeze rustled her hair towards him and though her scent didn’t reach him, he remembered it well. The scent of the extracted oil of a fragrant root that grew in the eastern lands that so many females seemed to favor at that time, before many had been killed.
It had been peaceful then. A different life.
They’d all been different.
He led her over to a private alcove towards the north end of the market, away from the crowds, away from the noise, and shielded somewhat from the intense Luxirian heat that beat down on them.
“What is it?” she asked.
Vikan knew it wasn’t real, but he needed to do this for himself, after so many rotations of avoiding it.
He’d never truly said goodbye to Nitav. And perhaps that had been why he’d hung onto her memory for so long…because he couldn’t say goodbye. But right then, all he could think about was how much he longed to start a life with Taylor, as difficult as it would be at first, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to until he finally made peace with Nitav’s death.
“You’ve been gone a long time, Nitav,” he started softly, his eyes holding her own. They were a bright blue. Once he thought nothing would be more beautiful to him. Until Taylor had found him. “Over ten rotations now.”
Her voice was soft when she said, “Gone where? I’ve been here the whole time, Vikan.”
“To the blackworld,” he replied. “As so many of our females and males did during that time. So many were mourned, so many unnecessary deaths. Unfair deaths. Many thought the Fates were punishing us. Many turned their backs on them before their own sorrows stole their lives too.”
“Vikan,” she said quietly.
“For a long time, my sorrow stole mine,” he admitted. “But for some reason, I did not end it. I carried on because something was driving me to, something wouldn’t allow me to give in. Now I know why.”
“I do not understand,” she whispered. “You are talking in riddles. This is so unlike you.”
“I found my fated mate, Nitav,” Vikan told her.
Her breath hitched, pain in her eyes. “So soon? I thought I had more time. I thought we had more time.”
When she’d been alive, Vikan had often heard Nitav worry that he would find his fated mate when she was still his Breeding partner. He’d brushed off her worries at the time, telling her that he worried she would find her own fated mate too.
They both loved each other enough to think it wasn’t a legitimate concern. But now, Vikan knew better. Vikan knew that the pull and connection to a fated mate simply couldn’t be ignored and fought against, no matter how hard he’d tried in the beginning.
And now? He couldn’t imagine his life without Taylor in it. It simply wasn’t fathomable. And he knew that he would do anything to convince her to stay. If she wouldn’t, he would follow her to Earth, consequences be damned, until he could convince her.
The words felt final as he said them, “She is my future, Nitav. And as much as we loved each other then, you are my past. I cannot continue visiting you here. I have to come to say goodbye and to finally let you go, after all of these rotations.”
Her lips parted and she studied him, eyes somber.
“It is finally time,” he murmured, brushing his fingers across her cheekbone. He felt warm affection in his chest, but no longer the painful prick of romantic love. Nitav had not only been his Breeding partner, but his dearest friend. Even though he was saying goodbye, he knew that he would always remember her fondly.
But it was time to move on. It was time to begin again.
For the first time in a long while, he was truly looking forward to his future and even though he couldn’t see his own fate, he didn’t need to. As long as Taylor was by his side, his future was bright.
Finally Nitav spoke. And Vikan knew that the words she spoke would’ve been what she’d have told him, had she been alive.
She caught his hand, squeezing gently with her cold fingers. “I will always love you, Vikan,” she murmured, a small, sad smile appearing on her features. “But we always knew we could never compete with a fated mate, though we tried to fool ourselves. I can only wish you happiness and I will pray for the Fates to bless your matehood and any offspring that come from it.”
Vikan inclined his head to her, his chest aching. “You honor me, Nitav, with your prayer.”
“Will you tell me her name?” she asked, surprising him.
“Her name is Taylor.”
“Taylor,” Nitav repeated, the Earth name rolling strangely on her tongue. And though her smile was still sad, she said quietly, “She is lucky to have a male like you, Vikan. Please tell her that. Please tell her that I know she will bring you happiness.”
Vikan slowly reached out and embraced her for the last time. She felt strange in his arms, yet familiar.
Slowly, he felt the dream fading, the edges curling in. And he knew he would never return.
“Goodbye, Nitav,” he said softly.
* * *
Taylor was awake when he surfaced from the dream, his mind thick with fog and memory. It took him a moment for clarity to return and when it did, he noticed that Taylor was sitting up beside him, her naked body hunched and curled in, her arms wrapped around her knees, which were drawn up to her chest.
Vikan purred, reaching
for her, running his fingers over her arms.
His lips turned down, however, when she flinched away from his touch. It was then that he noticed she couldn’t quite meet his eyes.
Worried, he pushed up from his position on the floor. “Luxiva, what is wrong?”
She looked unharmed, just a little tousled from their night of mating.
His heart sunk. “Did I hurt you last night?”
He saw her jaw pulse and it was then that she turned her head to look at him. Her expression was difficult to read. Her lips were red from his kisses the night before, but her cheeks were pale and her eyes were sad.
“You were saying her name,” Taylor said softly. “Over and over again.”
His brows furrowed. “What—”
“Nitav,” Taylor whispered. “Nitav, Nitav.”
Vikan stilled, understanding making him freeze.
“Taylor, it is not…I did not…” But words failed him as panic and dread filled his veins, weighing down his bones. “Please, luxiva. Let me explain.”
“I was trying to wake you up,” she said, in a tone he’d never heard before. “I was lying here, in your arms, warm and happy, and then you said her name over and over while I was touching you. What am I suppose to make of that?”
His heartbeat pounded furiously in his throat, but before he could respond, she continued.
“The worst part is that I truly believed you when you said you had moved on, when you said that you wanted a future with me,” she whispered, that strange moisture entering her eyes again.
“You know I do,” he rasped. “Please do not doubt that, luxiva.”
“Last night,” she started, her eyes watching him, “I asked you if you would come find me in my dream. And you said that you had to do something. You went to her, didn’t you? You wanted to dream about her.”
“Tev, but it is not for the reasons you think, female,” he said, his tone low, his horns flattened against his skull. “I found her in my own memories because I wanted to say goodbye to her. For good. To make peace with her death.”