It seemed a long time before he lifted his forehead from hers. He drew in a breath, an uneven one, which surprised her for she had thought it was just she who was struggling to keep the past back where it belonged.
He stepped back, just one step but it seemed as if a chasm had opened up between them. ‘I was going to show you a photograph,’ he said. ‘In my bedroom, I have a photograph of you I took one day when you weren’t watching. I have never shown it to you. I didn’t get the chance.’
Cassie’s eyes went wide and her heart began to stutter, not unlike her voice. ‘You…y-you have a photograph of me? You mean you didn’t have a ritual burning when I dumped you?’
He winced at her choice of words. ‘You know something? I hate that word. Dumped.’ He spat it out like a mouthful of something vile.
She gave him an irritated look. ‘Ended our relationship, then. Called it quits. Broke it off. Told you it was over.’
‘But it’s not over, is it, Cassie?’ he asked in a low deep tone that sent a shower of remembered sensations down the entire length of her spine.
Cassie gritted her teeth. ‘I want it to be over. Do you think I want to feel like this? You look at me like that and I—’ She stopped, suddenly realising how she was betraying herself to him.
He stepped closer, just that one step but it bridged the chasm again. His body heat was searing a way through her clothes; his eyes were burning with promise, the promise of passion and paradise.
‘And you what, Cassie?’ he asked in that same sun-warmed satin-sliding-over-bare-skin tone.
Cassie sucked in a ragged breath and threw caution to the winds still raging outside. ‘And I want you…’ she said, not a whisper, not loud, but somewhere right in between.
The air was heavy, the silence so thick she could almost reach out and touch it. Instead she reached out and touched him, on the face, the soft skin of her palm making a raspy sound on the stubble that had grown there since he had shaved that morning.
She wasn’t sure who made the next move after that. She had a sneaking suspicion it might have been her, but her conscience later on wouldn’t allow her to admit it. Suddenly their mouths were fused, their bodies locked tightly together, their hands moving in wild, frantic desperation to get as close as humanly possible.
Cassie opened her mouth to the driving thrust of his tongue, met it with hers, tangling, teasing, tasting the promise of what was to come. She felt the surge of sexual energy streak through her body like a fire racing through thick, dry scrub, flames of need licking at every pleasure point in anticipation of his touch.
He had backed her against the nearest wall, his pelvis rock hard against her, grinding, pushing and probing until she wanted to scream with frustration at not having him where she wanted him most.
He lifted his mouth off hers long enough to say, ‘I told myself it wasn’t going to be like this.’
‘Like what?’ she asked, running her tongue over her lips and savouring the sex and salt male taste of him.
His eyes were so dark and intense as they held hers. ‘In the past it was always so rushed between us,’ he said, nipping at her bottom lip, tug, pull, tug, pull. ‘Last night was the same. I told myself the next time together would be slow and sensual and something that neither of us will ever forget.’
Cassie didn’t want to be reminded this was not going to be for ever. It was a just-in-the-moment thing. She knew that, but it was hard to think clearly when his teeth were doing that thing with her bottom lip and his hands searching for her breasts through the light but still annoying barrier of her clothes.
She reached down to stroke him through his trousers, the hard outline of his erection pulsing against her touch, reminding her of how big he was, and how her body, as slim as it was, had always managed to accommodate him.
Sebastian dragged his mouth off hers again. ‘Not here,’ he said. ‘Not here in the hall. I want you in my bed this time. Not against the wall, not against the kitchen bench, not in some cramped corner of someone else’s house, but in my bed.’
Cassie brought his mouth back down to hers. ‘A bed would be nice,’ she murmured throatily.
‘That’s usually where this happens first,’ he said, nuzzling against her neck. ‘I don’t think we’ve been together in a bed before.’
‘Then it’s about time we did something about that,’ she said, sliding her hands down his chest as she popped each button on his shirt.
He shrugged himself out of it, and, kicking it aside with his foot, scooped her up in his arms and carried her to a room several doors down. He shouldered the door open in a classical-hero sort of way that did serious damage to Cassie’s heart rate.
The mattress was soft, but he was rock-hard when he came down on top of her. ‘You’ve got too many clothes on,’ she said, tugging at his belt.
‘So have you,’ he said, and removed the problem with a deftness that was exhilarating.
Skin on skin.
Cassie could feel the pores of her skin opening to take more of him in. She could smell the musk of his body, the heat of it was driving her wild, but he was slowing down. She could sense it; each kiss was no less drugging but it was softer, lingering. Each caress of his hands was drawing out her response in a torturous way she had never experienced with him before. He cupped her breasts, rubbing his thumbs over the aching, tight points so leisurely she began to whimper in impatience. She wanted to feel his hot, moist mouth sucking hard on her nipples, to feel the almost savage scrape of his teeth, to feel the answering tug of her feminine muscles crying out to be stretched to the limit. She opened her thighs but he didn’t do what she wanted or expected. He kept kissing her, on her mouth, her neck, her ear lobes, her collarbones and her breasts until she was panting and squirming and as close to begging as her pride would allow.
‘I know what you want but I am not giving it to you,’ he said, looking at her smoulderingly in between kisses. ‘Or at least not yet.’
She arched her spine in an effort to search for his probing heat but, for the first time in her experience with him, failing. ‘If you don’t get inside me this minute I am going to…to…’
His laugh was a low rumble that made her longing for him all the more intense. ‘To what, Cassie? Tonight I am going to take as long as I damn well like.’
Cassie smothered a groan of restlessness and gave herself up to the go-slow rhythm he was setting.
There was something to be said about taking your time, she decided a few breathless minutes later. She was becoming aware of her body in a way she had not done so before, even with him. She felt the flow of her blood to her feminine core, the way it swelled and ached and pulsed to be caressed. She shifted beneath him, trying to get him to give into the temptation of driving into her but he wouldn’t do it. He kept moving away, not far, but just enough to make sure she felt the throb of his body, but not his full possession.
‘You are doing this on purpose,’ she said, mock-glaring at him even as she clutched at him. ‘You want me to beg, don’t you?’
He smiled and bent his head back to her breast, suckling, teasing and finally biting until every nerve in her body jumped to attention. ‘If it’s any comfort to you I’m having a hard time keeping control,’ he said. ‘I want to take you to the heights like I did last night, but I am not going to do it. Not this time.’
This last time…The words almost echoed in the silence.
Cassie shoved the reality aside. ‘Do it now or don’t do it at all,’ she said with a steely glint in her eyes.
‘You don’t mean that,’ he said, trailing a blistering pathway of kisses down past her belly button to the humid heart of her.
‘Sure I d-do,’ she said, sucking in a breath when his lips skated over her swollen folds. ‘It’s a woman’s prerogative to change her mind at any time during the procedure.’
‘I know the law, Caz,’ he said, softly parting her. ‘God, you are like an orchid, so beautiful.’
Cassie had always struggled with body
issues. She’d had no idea how delicately she was made; the tidy secrets of her body were so different from his. There was no way he could hide his reaction to her, but she could hide hers from him, but only just.
Somehow she thought that was a good thing in the design of things. Women were far more vulnerable when it came to sex. She felt something when she shared her body with Sebastian. It was visceral, instinctive and totally consuming. Her heart was in it just as much as her body. She wouldn’t be doing this now if she didn’t care about him. It was a going-nowhere love, but this night would have to last for ever.
She knew that—he knew that.
She would make it last for ever.
She had gone through six years of hell and managed to survive. Another sixty or so wouldn’t be easy, but at least she had loved and lost—it was supposed to be better than not loving at all, but somehow she seriously doubted it.
Cassie was jerked back to the moment when his tongue entered her, a lick first, then a gentle probe, and then a sensual onslaught that had her spine arching off the bed as an orgasm ripped through her unlike anything she had felt before. She gasped her way through it, her body disconnected from her mind as the sensations rocketed through her, leaving her boneless and shuddering with aftershocks.
‘Good?’ he asked with a smile that should have looked supercilious, but somehow didn’t.
‘Better than good,’ she gasped out. ‘One of the best…’
He moved up her body until he was within striking distance of hers. ‘I think we should put that to the test, don’t you?’ he asked.
Cassie was almost beyond words. Her body was limp, but somehow still needy in spite of the earth-shattering response he had summoned from her. She watched as he applied a condom, the engorged length of him exciting her all over again.
He moved over her, his weight balanced on his elbows, his eyes glittering with need as he gently nudged her thighs apart. She arched her spine to receive that first wonderful thrust of his powerfully made body, a gasp escaping from her mouth as he began a torturously slow rhythm. Cassie dug her fingers into his buttocks, every sensitised nerve in her body begging for more speed to increase the delicious friction. He gradually increased his pace, his breathing becoming more hectic, and she knew with certainty he was coming closer and closer to losing control. She could feel the tension building in him, the muscles beneath her fingers tightly clenched before he took that final plunge. She was with him all the way, her hips rising to meet the downward thrust of his. She hit the summit first but he was right behind her, the shudders of his body as he emptied himself making her shiver all over.
Cassie listened to the sound of their breathing, wondering if he would say something, anything to fill the lengthening silence. But after a while she gave up thinking about it. She lay with him still enclosed within her, his face pressed against her neck, his warm breath tickling her skin as her eyelids gradually drifted down in total blissful relaxation…
Sebastian gently eased himself off her, disposing of the condom before he came back to stroke the tussled hair back off her face. Her soft mouth was swollen from his kisses, the faint flush of sexual pleasure still evident in her cheeks. This was the Cassie he had grown to love in the past. Only when her guard was down like this did he get a tiny glimpse of who she really was. She was complex, not shallow, she was troubled, not a trouble-maker, she was his Caz, the woman he could never have.
She stirred beneath him, her eyes opening to meet his. ‘Seb?’
His smile was crooked. ‘It’s been a long time since you called me that.’
She touched his face with her fingertips, a feather-light caress that made his skin lift. ‘That’s because we can’t go back,’ she said with a hint of sadness in her voice. ‘We’re not Caz and Seb now. We’re Cassie the ex-criminal and Sebastian the Prince Regent of Aristo, and never the twain shall meet, as they say.’
‘It’s not enough, Cassie,’ he said, running his tongue across his lips as he looked deep into her eyes. ‘I want more.’
Cassie swallowed tightly, hope like a raising agent in her chest. ‘What do you mean?’
His expression was rueful as he tucked a strand of her hair back behind her ear. ‘I thought once we did this a couple of times it would be enough, but it’s not. I want you again.’
She stared at him, suspended between hope and despair. ‘I’m not sure what to say…’ she took another small swallow and added ‘…or what you are saying…’
He pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, a brush-like touch that made her lips tingle. ‘I would like to have more time, Caz,’ he said, ‘a few more nights alone with you. That is all I am asking.’
‘Why?’ Cassie asked.
He raked a hand through his hair and let out a deep, uneven sigh. ‘Because for the first time since I met you six years ago I am starting to see a glimpse of who you really are. I want to see more.’
Cassie lowered her gaze from his, her heart aching and heavy in her chest. ‘There’s no future in this, you know that. There can never be anything but an affair between us.’ And a very short and secret one at that, she thought with another pang of despair.
He kissed her softly, lingeringly, before pushing up her chin to meet her eyes once more. ‘Let’s have what we can have for as long as we can have it,’ he said.
Cassie left it far too late to say no. For a few pulsing seconds she had her chance, but she said nothing. But as his mouth came back down to claim hers she knew exactly why she hadn’t.
She still loved him.
CHAPTER TEN
CASSIE was helping Sam with his breakfast the next morning when Sebastian came in. She looked up, knowing her cheeks were glowing from all the intimacy they had shared during the night before she had slipped back to her own room in the early hours of the morning while he had been sleeping.
He met her gaze for a pulsing moment before turning to Sam. ‘Good morning, Sam,’ he said, taking the chair beside him. ‘Did you sleep well?’
Sam put his spoon down politely. ‘Yes. I could hear the sea. Mummy said I might be able to go to the beach and build a sandcastle.’
‘I think that would be a very good idea,’ Sebastian said. ‘But first I would like to talk to you about something very important.’
Sam’s big brown eyes instantly clouded with worry. He looked at his mother, his chin starting to tremble. ‘Have I d-done something wrong?’ he asked in a thin voice.
Sebastian felt his chest tighten and took both of Sam’s small hands in his, again marvelling at how tiny they were compared to his own. He looked into those deeply brown eyes so like his own and wondered if that haunted, terrified look was the outcome of his early years living in prison. How could he make his little boy feel secure? It would take months if not years and yet he had so little time at his disposal. ‘You have done nothing wrong, Sam,’ he said gently. Oh, God, where did he begin? How could he tell this small innocent child how he had let him and his mother down?
Five years.
He had missed it all. He hadn’t even seen a photograph of Sam as a baby. He hadn’t even thought to ask Cassie to show him one. Not that he had given her much of a chance to retrieve any. He had packed her and Sam away with barely enough time for Cassie to pack a few belongings together and tell her flatmate where she and Sam were going.
‘Sam…’ He cleared his throat and began again, ‘I have recently found out I am your father.’
Sam glanced at his mother. ‘But I don’t have a father, do I, Mummy?’
Sebastian saw Cassie’s throat move up and down. ‘Darling…I have never actually said you didn’t have a father…’
‘No, but Spiro said I didn’t have one,’ Sam said. ‘I heard him tell Kara.’
Cassie frowned. ‘What did he say?’
Sam bit his lip. ‘He said it was anyone’s guess who I belonged to…’
Sebastian met Cassie’s bleak gaze before turning back to Sam. ‘You belong to me, Sam,’ he said, giving the boy’s hands a gen
tle squeeze. ‘You will always belong to me, no matter what happens in the future.’
Cassie felt her stomach clench with dread. What was he implying? That any future of Sam’s would be with his father and not with her? What else could he mean? There was no way Sebastian could have it all. They both knew that. That was why last night had been so poignant to her. This next couple of weeks would be all they would ever have together, as a little family. It would all too soon be over.
‘So you and Mummy and me are going to always be together?’ Sam asked with hope shining in his eyes.
‘For the time being at least,’ Sebastian said after a slight pause.
Sam’s eyes began to water. ‘Is Mummy going to leave me here?’
‘No,’ Cassie said stridently, glaring at Sebastian.
Sebastian put his hands on Sam’s shoulders. ‘Sam, I know this is hard for you to understand, but your mother and I are not married. But that does not mean we both don’t love you. We do, very much.’
Sam gulped back a little sob. ‘But I don’t want to be anywhere without my mummy,’ he said. ‘Can’t we stay with you? We won’t get in the way, will we, Mummy?’
Cassie bit the inside of her mouth to stop herself from crying. ‘Sweetie, it’s not that simple…’
Sam’s eyes were streaming now and his bottom lip trembling as he slipped off the chair and came over to her. ‘But why can’t you marry Daddy and then we can all live together?’ he asked. ‘I like it here. I can see boats from my bedroom window and there’s a big garden. Eleni said there’s even a pool.’
Cassie kept her eyes away from Sebastian’s as she bent down and hugged Sam. ‘Darling, your father is a very important man. It’s just not possible for him to live with us all the time. He has to travel all over the world sometimes. But I am sure we’ll sort something out, something that makes all of us happy.’
The Future King's Love-Child (The Royal House 0f Karedes Book 6) Page 12