She tried to avoid his gaze but he countered it by placing a gentle hand beneath her chin. ‘Don’t shut me out now, Caz,’ he said. ‘Not now. You can trust me. You do know that, don’t you?’
Her throat went up and down. ‘I’m not used to trusting anyone…’
‘I know but that has to change. It is important you learn to trust me so that Sam bonds with me. He takes his cue from you, don’t forget.’
Cassie searched his face. ‘Can I trust you not to take him away from me?’ she asked.
‘I could ask you the very same question.’
‘I won’t take him away without you knowing about it.’ Her gaze slipped to his mouth. ‘I wasn’t sure if you would see the likeness. I can see it, but then I am his mother.’
‘I see it.’
Her eyes flicked back to his. ‘Does that mean you don’t question you are his father?’
‘Cassie, the paternity test is not for me,’ he said, taking her by the shoulders, his thumbs rubbing softly against her bare flesh. ‘I know he is my son. I felt a connection when you gave me the painting he had done for me. I couldn’t understand it at the time. I had this sudden urge to meet this child. It became my entire focus.’
‘Were you really as shy as he is when you were small?’ she asked.
He stroked a finger down the curve of her cheek. ‘I was for a long time. I grew out of it eventually and I am sure he will too. You are a wonderful mother to him, Cassie. You remind me so much of my mother. I can see how much he adores you. You are his world.’
‘I love him more than you will ever know,’ she said softly. ‘He’s really my only reason for living. Before I found out I was carrying him I wanted to…to…’
He placed a fingertip against her lips. ‘No, Cassie, don’t say it. I can’t bear to hear you say it. I hate to think of what you went through. No wonder you were so angry at me for not responding to your letter.’
She gave him another searching look. ‘So you believe now I sent one?’
‘That is another thing I mulled over after you left my bed this morning,’ he said. ‘It is obvious my father must have ordered my mail to be screened. After all, he blocked Lissa from contacting you. There can be no other explanation.’
Cassie felt her shoulders start to relax. ‘I’m glad you believe me…It’s been so hard having no one on my side…’
His hands moved down the length of her arms to encircle her wrists. ‘I am on your side now, Cassie, don’t ever forget that. I will do whatever I can to make up for the past.’
She wanted to believe him, but she knew he couldn’t have everything his way. What would be his final choice? It was too painful to even think about. All she knew was he couldn’t have it all, and neither could she. They would both have to make a choice, but somehow she knew his was not going to include her, no matter how much she prayed it would.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CASSIE spent the next few days watching as Sebastian spent time with Sam. It was so moving to see them together, their dark heads bent close together over a puzzle or a book or a painting they had done, their smiles so similar. Sam was starting to blossom, his confidence growing as each day passed. He clearly adored his father and Sebastian made no effort to hide his very deep love for his son.
Cassie tried not to let it concern her but Sebastian had not asked her to sleep with him again. Was he trying to distance himself from her? It was so hard to tell. When Sam was around he smiled and chatted with her as any set of normal parents would do, but as soon as Sam was in bed Sebastian excused himself from her company, citing business to see to, letters to write, phone calls to make, anything, it seemed, rather than spend time with her.
It made her feel so terribly insecure, especially when she had revealed her past to him. Had he found it too hard to cope with? Was that why he was avoiding her? He preferred to think of her as a sleep-around-slut he could lure back into an affair, but not as a young woman who had been mistreated and shown injustice all of her life.
‘Now, young man,’ Sebastian said as he picked up Sam from the floor and set him on his shoulders. ‘I am going to take you upstairs to bed where you should have been well over an hour ago.’
Sam giggled as he dug his hands into his father’s hair to keep his balance. ‘Will you take me down to the beach again tomorrow?’ he asked.
‘Yes, and I will even show you a cave where my brothers and sisters and I used to hide things, like buried treasure,’ he said.
‘Will it still be there?’ Sam asked, bending round so he could look into his father’s eyes.
Sebastian smiled. ‘If it isn’t we will bury some of our own,’ he said. ‘Now kiss Mummy goodnight.’
‘I want you both to tuck me in,’ Sam said.
Cassie met Sebastian’s gaze for a brief moment before she looked up at Sam so high above her. ‘Let Daddy tuck you in on his own, darling,’ she said. ‘I have done it so many times and he has got a lot of catching up to do.’
Sam’s forehead began to wrinkle in a worried frown. ‘But I want you there too, Mummy.’
Sebastian hauled Sam down off his shoulders and onto his hip instead. ‘Of course Mummy can help me tuck you in,’ he said. ‘Now what story do you want me to read to you tonight?’
Sam looked up at him with big brown eyes. ‘Mummy told me a story about a prince who found a shoe after a party and he searched to find the beautiful girl who had lost it. Do you know that story?’
Sebastian felt his chest tighten. ‘Yes, I know that one. It’s called Cinderella.’
‘That’s right!’ Sam said excitedly. ‘Isn’t Daddy clever, Mummy? He knows the same stories you know.’
‘Yes, he’s very clever, darling,’ she said, her cheeks flushing slightly.
A few minutes later Sebastian rose from where he had been sitting on his son’s bed. Sam was fast asleep, his breathing deep and even, his angelic face a picture of contentment.
He watched as Cassie leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to Sam’s forehead, her fingers brushing the hair back off his face, the look of love on her face making him feel another deep pang of regret for all she had gone through.
‘Have you got a minute to have a chat?’ he asked once they had both left Sam’s room.
She gave him an ironic look. ‘I’m the one with all the time on my hands, Sebastian,’ she said with a touch of resentment. ‘You’re the one who is always too busy.’
‘You are feeling neglected,’ Sebastian said, blowing out a sigh. ‘I am sorry, but being away from the palace like this means I have things to see to each night. When I’ve come to your room you have always been asleep. I didn’t want to disturb you.’
Her forehead creased. ‘You came to my room?’
He gave her a wry smile. ‘You should not sound so surprised, Cassie. I thought I had made it clear how much I want you.’
She lowered her gaze a fraction. ‘Yes, but I thought you had changed your mind…or something…’
He placed his hands at her waist. ‘That is the whole trouble, Cassie,’ he said. ‘I want what I cannot have.’
She looked up at him, her eyes uncertain. ‘I’m not asking for for ever, Sebastian.’
His chest rose and fell on another sigh. ‘I know, and that is what concerns me the most,’ he said. ‘You and Sam deserve for ever. You both deserve the happiness that has been stolen from you.’
Cassie could see the struggle he was having played out on his face. He had deep shadows under his eyes as if he had not slept at all over the last few nights. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him but knew it would only make his decision all the harder to make. He was already carrying a load of guilt and was doing everything in his power to make it up to Sam. ‘You are a fantastic father,’ she said softly. ‘Sam loves you so much.’
‘I love him too,’ he said, looking into her eyes. ‘I cannot tell you how much.’
‘I know how much,’ she said. ‘I feel that way too.’
His hands moved from her waist
. ‘I have something to show you,’ he said. ‘They arrived this afternoon.’
Cassie followed him downstairs to his study where he showed her how he had had all the photographs of Sam copied and reset into four leather-bound albums, each one with the gold crest of the Karedes family on the cover. She couldn’t speak for a moment; she sat silently tracing her fingertip over the royal crest, wondering if this was part of the removal process. He was making the disparity of their lives and background all the more apparent. He was showing her where Sam belonged, where she could never follow.
‘What do you think?’ he asked.
She brought her gaze up to his. ‘I think you are systematically trying to nudge me out of his life, that’s what I think.’
His brows came together. ‘What are you talking about? I had those done for you. I have another set made for myself.’
She got to her feet and crossed her arms over her chest. ‘What have you done with the originals?’
‘I threw them out,’ he said. ‘They were falling apart in any case.’
Cassie glared at him in fury. ‘You threw them out? Is that what you’re telling me? You threw my scrapbooks out?’
‘Cassie, what is all the fuss about?’ he asked. ‘You would surely have replaced them yourself when you found the time.’
‘You had no right to throw away what was mine,’ she said, fighting back tears. ‘I had to work hard to pay for those books. I had to barter with food and privileges to pay for them and now you’ve tossed them out as if they’re worth nothing. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?’
He came over to where she was standing. ‘I think I am starting to get a sense of what you are feeling,’ he said gently. ‘You had so little to give Sam but you gave him everything you could. Those scrapbooks represented some of the sacrifices you had been forced to make. I am sorry, Cassie. I will call Stefanos and have him return them to you. It was wrong of me to assume they were not valuable to you.’
Cassie could feel her defences crumbling. Tears she had sworn she was not going to allow to fall were already falling, one by one, but before she could brush them away with her hands Sebastian got there first. With a touch so gentle he blotted each tear with the pad of his thumbs.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I shouldn’t have been so touchy about it.’
His eyes darkened as they held hers. ‘I do not know how to make it up to you, for all you have lost, for all that I could have prevented if I had taken the time to get to know you. I have been doing some research on your father. He had friends in so many high places it was no wonder you felt you had no one to go to. I had my aide request the medical records of when you were admitted to the hospital when you were four, and there was no record of you ever being admitted.’
Cassie felt her shoulders go down. ‘I didn’t stand a chance, did I?’
‘I will get justice for you, Cassie,’ he said, pulling her closer. ‘I will leave no stone unturned until I do.’
Cassie was standing too close to him to be able to ignore the pulse of his body, and the thin layer of her clothes that shielded her form couldn’t possibly disguise her own response to his nearness. She ran her tongue over the dryness of her lips; her breathing going out of time, her heart tripping as his head slowly came down…
The press of his lips against hers was gentle at first, but as soon as he stroked his tongue across the seam of her lips everything changed. Passion flared like a combustible fuel exposed to a lighted taper. It streaked along Cassie’s veins, thundering in her ears and pooling in her belly like liquid fire. She felt the hard probe of his body against the flimsy barrier of her gown, the intimate closeness making it all that harder to move away. His mouth was burning hot, his tongue insistent and determined as it conquered hers.
He backed her towards the sofa, his muscled thighs rubbing along hers with every heart-stopping step. She felt the cushions at the back of her knees and went down with barely a whimper, her mouth locked on his.
His hands peeled away the spaghetti-thin shoulder straps on her sundress, his mouth moving from hers to blaze down past her shoulders to her breasts. She bit back a gasp as the heated moistness of his mouth closed over her nipple, the sexy scrape of his teeth sending arrows of delight to her already-curling toes. She felt her body secretly preparing for him, the on-off pulse of her inner muscles making her wild to feel him deep and hard within her.
His mouth moved farther down her body, giving her small niplike kisses that sent her senses spinning even further out of control. She was writhing beneath his solid weight, desperate to get closer, her hands tearing at his clothes so she could feel him skin on skin.
He captured her hands and held them above her head, his dark eyes glinting with rampant desire. ‘Don’t be so impatient, agape mou,’ he teased playfully. ‘I am getting to that.’
‘I want you now,’ she said, arching up against him. ‘You’re taking too long.’
‘It is all the better for waiting, Cassie,’ he said. ‘Can you feel it building and building?’
Cassie could and it was driving her crazy. ‘I want to touch you,’ she said. ‘Let me go so I can touch you properly.’
His eyes burned into hers for a heady moment before he released her hands. ‘Touch me all you like, Cassie,’ he said, and shrugged himself out of his shirt.
Cassie needed no other inducement. She had his belt off and his waistband undone within seconds, her fingers enclosing him with just the right amount of tension to make him cut back a groan of pleasure. She moved her hand up and down, watching as he fought to keep control.
When he tried to stop her she pushed his hand away, and, giving him a sultry look, bent her mouth to him. She felt him shudder as she took the first strong suck, a whole-body shudder that sent shivers of vicarious pleasure up and down her spine. The tension in his body was electrifying; she could feel it building to explosion point. She could taste him, that salt and musk combination that was as erotic as it was irresistible.
‘Enough, oh, dear God in heaven, enough,’ he groaned and pulled out.
Cassie ran the point of her tongue over her lips, knowing it would drive him wild. ‘Am I going too fast for you?’ she asked with an arch look.
‘Not fast enough,’ he growled, and pressed her back down with his weight coming over her.
Cassie shivered as he pulled her dress off her body with a total disregard for the delicate fabric. She heard it tear but was too far gone to fully register it. He nudged her thighs apart, the first stablike thrust of his body ricocheting through her as he drove home to the hilt. He set a fast pace, but she delighted in every exhilarating second of it, her body on fire as her senses climbed to the summit of human pleasure. Every nerve was screaming for release, her legs were quivering, her back arching and her breathing choppy and uneven as he drove her to the edge time and time again, only to pull back at the last teetering moment.
‘Don’t make me beg,’ she panted against his moist mouth.
‘I want you to beg,’ he said against her lips. ‘I want you to scream at me to give you what you want.’
She bit at him, a playful puppy bite. ‘Someone might hear us,’ she said.
‘I don’t give a damn who hears us,’ he said. ‘Tell me what you want, Cassie.’
‘I want you to make me come,’ she said, pulling his head back down to hers.
He crushed her mouth beneath his, his body hard and urgent in hers as one of his hands went between their bodies to caress the swollen centre of her desire. Cassie bit back a cry as she began to soar, each smashing wave of release making her body convulse around him. She sobbed her way through it, the power of it unlike anything she had ever felt before.
He came close behind, his body tensing for the final plunge, every muscle under her fingertips bunching before he emptied himself.
Cassie let her hands skate over his back and shoulders in the aftermath, her heart still hammering, her breathing just as erratic as his. It was times like this she could almost
imagine a different life for herself, a life where she would wake up each morning next to Sebastian, his legs entwined with hers, the essence of him still hot and wet between her thighs…
Her heart suddenly gave a sideways lurch. ‘Oh, no…’
Sebastian eased himself off her. ‘What’s wrong, Cassie? Did I hurt you? Was I too rough?’
She gave him a wide-eyed look of alarm. ‘You didn’t use a condom.’
‘I know,’ he said with a rueful grimace. ‘But I’m all clear, so don’t worry.’
Cassie searched for her dress and underwear, trying not to let her panic take too many fast strides. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t use a condom,’ she said, tossing aside the sofa cushions.
‘Cassie, I told you I won’t give you anything.’
‘No,’ she said, turning her back on him as she reached for her dress lying on the floor. ‘Or at least nothing you haven’t already given me in the past.’
Sebastian didn’t take in what she had said. He stared at the jagged white scar near her tailbone for what seemed like endless seconds. ‘How long have you had that scar?’ he asked.
He saw her stiffen before she turned to face him. ‘What scar?’
He got to his feet and came over to where she was standing. ‘I think you know what I am talking about. I’ve never seen it before.’
‘Yes, well, I’ve never been totally naked with you before,’ she said, flashing her green eyes at him in irritation.
He placed his hands on her shoulders to stop her from spinning away. ‘You don’t have to cover up for him now, Cassie,’ he said in as gentle a tone as he could. ‘If your father did that to you then you have no reason not to tell me.’
He felt the tremble of her body under his hands and his heart contracted when he saw fresh tears well in her eyes. ‘Look, it was a long time ago and I’d rather just forget about it,’ she said.
‘How long?’
She bit her lip. ‘The night I got home from breaking off things with you…’
The Future King's Love-Child (The Royal House 0f Karedes Book 6) Page 14