I didn’t want to seem too eager, so I took a minute to pretend to think it over. “All right, I could eat, not sure I want to sit through an entire movie with you, but we can play it by ear.” I shrugged, trying to play it cool. I wasn’t certain that sitting in a dark theatre with him was a good idea, but I guess we could see how things went.
“Smartass.” He shook his head and snickered before closing my door and getting in the driver’s seat. “Where to?”
I cocked a brow. “Are you going to actually listen this time?”
“Yup! I’m at your mercy.” He smirked.
Thoughts of him truly being at my mercy—in bed, underneath me—had me squirming in my seat. I was sure I was blushing from head to toe.
“Are you okay, Missy?” He reached out and brushed a lock of hair out of my face. “You look a little flushed.” His genuine concern almost had me burst out laughing; had he only known what was going through my mind, but I held it in.
“Yeah, I’m fine, just hungry now that we’ve been talking about it.” My stomach growled, and it couldn’t have come at a better time.
We pulled into the parking lot of the diner, and it hit me. “Oh my God.”
Sullivan whipped his head to me. “What?”
“I just realized something. You’re totally using me to get out of decorating the house, aren’t you?”
He threw his head back and laughed. “Although that is a huge added bonus, I’m most definitely not using you for that. I am totally using you to keep me company. I’ve enjoyed spending time with you today, and I didn’t want the day to end.” He leaned over and kissed my cheek sweetly before getting out of the car.
I was shocked by his words, though I shouldn’t be. He’d been saying little things lately that made my insides warm to him, but I was trying to keep my cards close to my chest. While he never really burned me back in the day, my twelve-year-old heart still felt the sting of his jokes.
I composed myself before he came around, and I opened my door before he got to it. I couldn’t let my heart really get involved with someone who wasn’t there to stay.
We both ordered burgers and fries with milkshakes. I hadn’t eaten here since high school and had forgotten how great it was. Sullivan surprised me at every turn. I hadn’t pictured mister prim and proper eating a burger.
“I was surprised when you didn’t pick up a knife and fork to eat your burger.”
His mouth hung open. “You’re kidding? Why would anyone eat a burger with anything but their hands?”
“I don’t know. You just seem so…stuck up. No, proper I guess is a better word.” I shrugged.
“Do I really come across that way?” He seemed insulted by my observation.
“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s a shock because when you left you were young, carefree, a lot of fun. Now you’re grown up, like a real responsible adult. It was just a bit of a shock is all. I think in my head whenever I thought of you, you were still the same guy you were back then.” I took another sip of milkshake.
He hummed before commenting, “You thought of me, huh?”
“Yes, unfortunately, the middle-schooler in me couldn’t get over the high school version of you.” I laughed, but he just sat there, staring at me with a smirk on his face. I smacked his shoulder. “Oh, get over yourself.” I rolled my eyes.
“So, your younger self couldn’t get over me, and your current self basically thinks I’m a stuck-up jerk? Do I have that right?” He was laughing at me, but I knew it wasn’t maliciously.
“You’re slowly changing my mind on the jerk part.” I didn’t look up to see his reaction, just kept on picking at my fries.
We talked for hours about everything under the sun before we finally called it a night.
Sullivan took my hand as we walked out of the diner and looked down at me. “Raincheck on the movies?”
“Yeah, we can go in another eight years. I’ll set a reminder on my phone.” I laughed, but he didn’t.
The ride home was quiet. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d ruined the night with my comment, but who were we kidding, he wasn’t coming home for good. He was probably only being nice because he couldn’t stand to see someone grieving and was trying to earn my forgiveness for being an ass back in the day.
He pulled the car up right in front of the guest house. Looking at the door my mood shifted, although it wasn’t as bad as it was before we left. It certainly was much more melancholy than it’d been all day. I turned in my seat toward him. “Thanks for taking pity on me today. I really did need to get out, and it took my mind off things just like you’d hoped. I won’t forget it.”
“Of course, anytime. But for the record, it had nothing to do with pity. I wish you’d see that I’m not a bad guy. I really wanted to spend time with you, and I had a great time.” The sincerity in his tone made my heart race.
“I don’t think you’re a bad guy, Sullivan.” I smiled before getting out of the car and walking to the trunk. I stood there, waiting for a minute, but he didn’t get out of the car, so I went to the driver’s side to see what he was doing.
He sat in the car, staring at the steering wheel, so I knocked on the glass lightly, trying not to startle him.
He snapped out of it and got out of the car. “What’s up?”
“Would you mind opening the trunk so I can grab the bags?”
“Oh.” His face fell. “Yeah, sure.”
I tried to carry the bags, but he insisted, and he brought them inside for me.
After dropping them on the counter, he walked to the door. Turning around, he hesitated for a moment before speaking, “I had a really great time with you today. I don’t get out much. I usually work long hours and just don’t have time to socialize.”
I was actually shocked. “That is definitely surprising. That’s not the Sullivan I knew.”
He smiled sadly. “I’m starting to find that Sullivan again, and honestly, you have a lot to do with that. I’d spent so much time focusing on work that I lost the person I used to be.”
Sullivan’s words stuck with me that night as I lay in bed; I couldn’t shake him from my mind no matter how hard I tried.
SULLIVAN
Christmas Eve this year wasn’t going to be a happy one. Since all arrangements had been made in advance, we were having a small service for Granny today. We had a small family, and Granny’s circle of friends had dwindled with every passing year.
I’d tried to check in on Missy to see how she was holding up, but it looked like she was keeping herself busy by helping out with the preparations. I’d been moving around, politely greeting family members that I hadn’t seen in a long time, many of whom didn’t recognize me at first. It took a little bit for the over the top exclamations to pass.
The morning service was beautiful. We celebrated Granny’s life, and I think she would’ve loved it. Seeing as tomorrow was Christmas, most went home straight after to prepare for their dinners or festivities. There were a few who lingered, but I wasn’t in the mood. All I wanted to do was find Missy.
I crossed the space between the house and the guest house quickly. The lights were off, but I knocked anyway. I waited for a few minutes, but she didn’t answer. I turned the knob slowly and called out to her, but she didn’t answer. As I was closing the door, the faint sound of crying could be heard. I followed the sound and found Missy in the living room. I flipped on the light switch. “Are you all right?”
“Turn the light off!” she shouted from her spot on the sofa.
I immediately flipped it off and stumbled in the dark, landing beside her on the couch. I reached my hand out and began to rub small circles, trying to calm her.
“I’m sorry I yelled at you. I didn’t mean to snap. I just didn’t want you to see me like this,” she said between sobs.
“It’s fine, but I’m sure you look just as beautiful as you always do.” I pulled her in close to my side and continued my soothing motions.
She blew out a breath. “Ye
ah, right. I’m sure I look like a supermodel.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
She laughed a little. “Honestly, I didn’t mean to cry today. I thought today would be a happy day to celebrate Granny’s life, but hearing everyone talk about her was like ripping my wound wide open again.” She curled up her legs and adjusted herself to lay her head on my lap. “I just miss her so freaking much, Sullivan. I’m sorry for blubbering.”
My eyes had adjusted to the darkness, and the light filtering in from the window aided in highlighting her features. I brushed her hair out of her face. “Hey, don’t ever apologize for missing someone you love. Trust me; I get it. You miss Granny a lot, and out of nowhere, you catch yourself just crying for no reason. I do the same thing. I just sobbed in the bathroom before coming to find you. I know I haven’t been around for quite a long time, but she was my Granny, and we were really close before I left. I miss her, too. It actually makes me feel better that I have someone to share in my misery.”
She laughed a little, and I could feel her emotions were calming a little as she took some deep breaths. “So, why were you looking for me. Does your mom need help with something?”
I wasn’t sure what to say, so I spit out the first thing that came to mind. “No, but I could use your help. You see, as it turns out, I need to go out for some things that I need for my return trip. But I can’t seem to remember any of the streets around here. Hence, I came to find my favorite navigator in this town.” I didn’t need shit, but I wanted to be with her.
She laughed again and sat up to look at me, and I could make out the sad smile she had on her face. “Although I’m really not up for going out, I couldn’t, in good conscience, let you go out there on the streets alone. You wouldn’t last a day without me. Rural South Carolina can be a little too much for you city folk. So, where are we going?”
I stood from the sofa and reached out my hand for her to take. “Don’t worry, you’ll see.” I had no clue where we were going, but since it was Christmas eve, I knew there weren’t many places that would be open.
I tossed her the keys, which she caught with ease, surprising me. “Nice catch.”
“Thanks.” Her bright smile lit up the night as she climbed into the car. Gripping the steering wheel, she asked, “Where to?”
“Walmart.” I wasn’t sure what else to say and figured it would be open.
Her nose scrunched up. “You shop at Walmart?”
“Yeah, doesn’t everyone?” I shrugged.
I just wanted to get her out of the house and smiling, so I was hoping Walmart would do the trick.
The roads were clear as the weather had warmed some, so Missy sped down the streets in the Audi, handling it like a pro. She pulled into a parking spot and slammed on the breaks as she laughed. “Now that was fun.” She was smiling from ear to ear. “Do you think I could drive a Nascar one day? I hear they do something down in Florida. That would be so much fun.”
The smile on her face made me want to buy her an actual race car. I thought I’d do nearly anything to make her beam like that. I was quickly realizing how much Missy meant to me, and I wasn’t ready to go back home. I needed to figure something out.
I hadn’t done the Christmas thing in a long time, and it felt good. “I don’t think I will let another holiday go by without coming home, or at least you could come see me. I’m sorry I stayed away for so long, Mom.”
My mom reached out her hand to cover mine. “It’s okay, sweetie. You’re forgiven. Let’s not dwell on the past.” She looked toward Missy seated beside me on the floor in front of the tree and then back to me with a smile. “Let’s just look toward the future.”
We’d all opened presents around the tree after a big breakfast. My mom and Bridget disappeared shortly after—claiming they had something to do—leaving Missy and me alone by the tree.
I looked around the room and then back to Missy. This holiday had started out a frantic stressful mess. I’d had to say goodbye to one of the most important people in my life, but I’d also reconnected with my mother. Both things I was extremely grateful for. I had resigned myself to the fact that I’d never fall in love, but I knew without a doubt that was no longer the case. I’d spent as much time with Missy as I could since I first realized she was the same Missy I knew so long ago. And I couldn’t keep her off my mind. At this point I was pretty much convinced I was in love with her. The connection I’d felt to her since day one was like nothing I’d ever experienced; I had never felt like this about anyone in my entire life. All I wanted to do was be with her, it wasn’t about sex—although I’d thought plenty about that as well—it was about the connection we shared.
“You’re looking at me funny, Sullivan. Are you all right?” She snapped her fingers in front of my face, bringing me back to the present. “Earth to Sullivan.”
“Sorry, I guess I was just daydreaming. What’s up?”
Her eyes lit up. “Oh, daydreaming about what?”
No way was I going to tell her what I was thinking. “Nothing much, the beach mostly. Do you like the beach?”
“Smooth there, Mr. Moore.” She giggled, most likely knowing I was full of shit. “Yeah, I love the beach. I don’t get out there much, though since it’s so far.”
“You should come to visit me. I live right on the beach. We could lounge by the pool or on the sand all day.”
She drew her head back and scrunched up her brows. “You’d actually leave the office?”
I pushed her shoulder playfully. “Don’t be a smart-ass. You know I’d leave the office for you.” I’d do anything for her.
“Well, I would love to then. Sounds fun.” She smiled.
I spent most of the day with Missy, but she’d decided to go take a shower before we had dinner. I was walking past the living room after walking her out when my mother called me into the room.
“Yes, Mom?”
She hadn’t looked up from the television in front of her. “May I have a word?”
“Sure, what’s up?” I sat down in front of her on the coffee table.
“Are you having a good Christmas so far?” She turned to face me. “It seems like you are…enjoying yourself a lot.”
“Yeah, I am. You say that like it’s a bad thing. I’m happy to be home for Christmas and spending time with you.”
My mom scoffed and then laughed at me. “What do you take me for, boy? I know you and Missy have been spending a lot of time together, and I know she’s the reason you’re in such a good mood. Trust me, I’m happy for you, and it looks like she makes you happy. The only thing I ask is that you don’t lead her on. You know you’re going home soon, and she’s going to be left behind again. She’s like a daughter to me, Sullivan, and she’s lost enough people in her life.”
If I weren’t her son, I was sure her wording wouldn’t have been put so mildly.
“Mom, I promise I’m not leading her on; plus, I haven’t even told her how I feel.” I shrugged.
“Ah, so you do like her.” She was smiling from ear to ear.
“Come on, Mom, stop playing mind games. Clearly you already knew that.”
She put up her hands in surrender. “Yes, I knew. A mother always knows, but you are quite obvious. We can tell by the way you look at her.”
“We?”
“Yes, Bridget can see it as well.” She chuckled.
I stood and kissed her forehead. “Gossiping is for high schoolers, Mom. I’m heading upstairs to get ready for dinner.” Really, I just wanted to get out of there; talking to my mom about Missy was making me uncomfortable.
“I’ll see you in a bit, son.”
“I haven’t eaten that well in years.” I sat back and rubbed my stomach; I was extremely full. “Bridget, you’ve outdone yourself.”
The four of us sat around the table after gorging on the best Christmas dinner ever. I could barely move.
“Thank you, Sullivan; that means a lot.” Bridget was always so sweet, but she knew she could cook a mean t
urkey dinner.
“We’re going to clean up. Why don’t you kids go have a nightcap?”
I knew what my mom was trying to do, but she also gave me a very stern look.
“My lady,” I said as I reached out my hand for Missy.
She giggled but took my hand, and I led her out the back door and to the guest house. I didn’t want any prying eyes or ears when we talked.
Missy made us tea instead of whiskey as I lit a fire.
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m wiped. This holiday has been one of the craziest emotional rollercoasters ever.” I slumped onto the sofa.
Missy came over and handed me a cup before she sat down. “It really has been.”
I decided to just go for it. “So…” I took a deep breath before continuing, “I’ve been thinking about something for a couple days now. It’s about your job situation. I thought that maybe what you need most right now—apart from a job, of course—is a change of scenery.” I paused, and she turned her body toward me.
It was now or never, so I spat it out. “It may sound a little crazy, but I thought you could stay at my place while you figure things out.” I shrugged. “I also made a few calls to some people that could hook you up with a job at the hospital…if you want.”
The silence was deafening as I waited for her to say something. I couldn’t read her expression as she stared at me.
“Are you serious?” This was it. She was going to tell me I was completely whacked.
I nodded in response, not sure I could form words. My heart was racing, and I was starting to wonder if this was a bad choice, if she were to say no, things would get weird really fast.
“Have you really thought about this? You’re sure?” she questioned as she gaped back at me.
I nodded again, still not able to speak.
She sat there for a moment. “There’s not much holding me here, so it’s not the worst idea. And I do love the beach.” She laughed and some of the tension in the room lifted. “I never do anything without planning, but I think I’ll take a page out of Granny’s book and say fuck it. Let’s do it.”
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