“Well, when I yell Prospect, they all come running, unless they’re tasked with a job they’ve been told not to leave except in dire situations. The first one to me gets the new job, and the jobs get shittier as the day wanes on. So, you want to be the one to respond. If I called out their names to assign jobs I might show favoritism. Plus, we get to see who is the most motivated to get the job done this way.”
“Okay, I get it.” I pulled three more drafts as he had been explaining how things worked to me.
“Get me a double shot of Jack and a YingLing, girl.” A scrubby looking dude called out. I could see the motor oil staining his hands still, and the creases in his brow that showed he’d had a rough day.
“Sure thing,” I called out as I started pouring.
“She has a name,” Rage called out.
“Well, that’s all well and good, but I don’t know it,” the guy shot back.
“No worries,” I said in an attempt to diffuse the very unnecessary tension. “I’m Charlie.” I pushed his drink order to him as I said my name and he just said, “thanks, girl.”
“You little shit,” Rage called out while heading towards the man.
“What’s shakin’, Showgirl?” Rabbit asked as he sauntered over having noticed a potential problem. I just shrugged, and pointed at the guy who was obviously a mechanic. “This one likes to call me ‘girl’. That one doesn’t like it,” I added pointing to Rage. “I don’t know what the etiquette for that type of thing is around here, but honestly it doesn’t bother me. I’ve been called far worse, and little better, while bartending in LA. So, it’s no big deal to me.” With that, I moved on, and received appreciative glances from some of the older crew that were bellied up to the bar. Apparently, they liked my reaction. So, noted.
“All right, Rage, you heard the lady. You can stand down,” Rabbit told his buddy. Then he hopped up on the bar, leaned over and swatted the mechanic in the back of the head. “And Junior, you need to learn some respect!”
“What the fuck, man? Not like I called her a slut or a bitch or something. I just called her girl.”
“Yeah, after she told you her name, numb-nuts.”
“Bloody hell,” I cursed out. No parts of me are British, but I had a dancer friend once who got me on a kick of saying that shit, and it stuck whenever I was exasperated. From there, I was blind to anything more going on, because the rest of the BRATs had arrived for the night, and apparently that meant the party was started. It was during this time that Rabbit explained, in between us pulling beers for the guys, the difference between a BRAT and a club slut. The BRATs were basically given room and board; some had their education paid for, while others just procured a check for services rendered. They were not to say no to the club brothers, with a few acceptable safety measures thrown in for their sakes. They had to maintain health checks and birth control too. The club sluts were hangers-on brought in by club members or friends of the club who were down to fuck anyone, at anytime, in the hopes of either landing an old lady gig, or the job of a BRAT. According to Rabbit they all seemed to think that the road from BRAT to old lady would be an easily accomplished thing, although it rarely happened that way. In the infinitely wise words of Rabbit, “Who wants to claim a woman that all of his brothers have fucked?”
After that little lesson in how the hierarchy of club women worked I got too busy to even process what I’d been told. Thankfully, for a while, I was also too busy to notice some of the activities going on, because more than a few of the sluts and BRATs had lost their clothing somewhere along the way. I was inundated for about a good steady hour before drink requests slowed a bit. It was then that I looked up and noticed Rage was standing in the corner with a very familiar blond head in his hands as his mouth attacked her neck. Jezzie. My heart sank, and I don’t even know why it was elevated enough to get that sinking feeling, but it couldn’t be helped. I also didn’t miss the look of complete triumph on Jezzie’s face when she noticed me watching. I guess a message was being sent after all. I received it loud and fucking clear.
“Charlie,” Rabbit called to me rather brashly from his position on my right. I wasn’t sure how long he’d been there, but it sounded weird to hear him call me by my real name rather than the ridiculous Showgirl nickname he’d given me.
“Huh? And not that I’m complaining, but why are you suddenly calling me by my actual name?”
“Showgirl,” he smirked as he drew the nickname out slowly. “I’ve been trying to ask if you’re ready for a break for the past five minutes, but you were too busy sight seeing to tune into little old me.”
“Sorry, I was lost in thought.” I betrayed the exact thought by glancing in Rage’s direction once more before putting myself in check though. Rabbit’s eyes followed mine, and he hissed out a string of cuss words before he pulled himself back together.
“Damn, that dumbass,” he muttered before turning to me. “Go take a break, sweetheart. Bathroom for us is right through there,” he tipped his head to indicate the door in the back of the bar area where I’d seen the prospects bar-backing from. “You can catch some food from the kitchen back there too, if you’re hungry.”
“Thanks,” I told him as I turned on my heel and took off like a bat out of hell. Fuck my life. The only guy I have felt an attraction to, and if I’m being honest with myself, more of a connection with than I ever had with my own husband, and he was with one of the two girls who treated me like absolute shit this morning. Just great. Apparently, I was right about the pep talk I had given myself just the other day. I did have the worst damn ability to judge a person’s character in the history of ever.
Chapter 7
Groggy didn’t begin to explain how I felt after waking up at noon when the festivities last night didn’t settle until closer to four in the morning. It also didn’t help that it took far too long to get to sleep, because I was unfortunately very aware of the make-out session Rage was having with Jezzie most of the night, and then I definitely took note when they both disappeared upstairs and down the same hallway where my room was. Oh that I wished the hallway up there wasn’t open to the floor below up to a point, but it was. Unfortunately, I saw far too much of what went on between them before they managed to disappear into a room together.
After showering, reading a book I found in a drawer, and tossing and turning a bit, the last time I looked at the clock before now was around 9:30 a.m. I had to assume I had been asleep since shortly after that, so that made for maybe two and a half hours sleep. Beautiful. I needed coffee. I jumped up, tossed on some shorts and a tank top along with some fanged bunny slippers that Rabbit had insisted I “must have” during our shopping spree, and opened my door to head out in search of some food.
Unfortunately for me, I happen to possess the absolute worst timing on the face of the earth. I’d just cracked my door when Rage and Jezzie came spilling out of the room across the hall and down one from my own. Jez was leaning all over Rage, and he was pushing her away a bit. Neither had noticed me yet as my door was only cracked. “Stop, Jez. I’m really not in the mood for your shit this morning.”
“You were in the mood for plenty last night though, and after I thought you wouldn’t want to talk to me again,” her lip pouted out as she grabbed hold of where his cock must have been in his still unbuttoned jeans. “I just want to thank you for your loyalty to me,” she cooed.
“Thank me for my...” he looked baffled. “What the fuck ever, Jez. You need to get out of here. I don’t do this clingy bullshit, and you know it.”
“Fine, but you know where to find me when you’ve had a chance to wake up and stop being Mr. Grumpy Pants again.” Grumpy was said in a baby voice that came out more like Gwumpy. I cringed. Eww, the creep factor was real. Jez bounced off and I was about to close my door to give Rage a minute to get gone too before I went for food, but a clapping sound from further down the hall where I couldn’t see pulled me up short.
“What’s that about?” Rage balked.
�
��Well, you fucking idiot, it’s about the show you put on last night. I don’t know what you’re doing, or why you suddenly decided to push that woman away, but she deserved far fucking more than to see the bullshit stunt you pulled.”
Was he talking about Jez, me, or someone else altogether? Damn it, Rabbit, spell it out for the eavesdroppers in the place.
“Really don’t know what you’re on about, Rabbit. If you could get to the point, because I am in desperate need of some fuckin’ caffeine this morning.”
“Okay, sure, I’ll spell it out for you. Her husband cheated on her and tried to have her killed. I’m sure that leaves a person with serious fuckin’ trust issues. But then, she finds out in the past 48 hours that her life, her family’s life, has been some big lie in a way, and damn if that probably hasn’t damaged that girl a bit more too in the trust department. Not to mention the fuckers she’s had to deal with on the road to get here while bouncing from strip clubs to survive, and what she most likely had to fend off all on her own as a result. Then she has the vibes you’ve been throwing at her that are fucking hot and cold at the drop of a dime. I imagine that’s got to fuck with a person who has trust issues as deep as hers have to run.” Rabbit stated.
“She seemed plenty cozy with you, so what’s the problem?”
Rabbit laughed. “I’m her buddy. I’m her coworker. I’m the asshole who rescued her from the shit show you set her up with yesterday instead of taking care of her yourself. But let’s get this straight right now, that’s all I am. Damn if I don’t wish there was a little more than buddy chemistry between us, because she’s fuckin’ perfect, dude. But that’s not how it is, and anyone could see that if they didn’t have their head implanted firmly up their own ass.” Rage looked ready to kill Rabbit with that comment, but Rabbit wasn’t done yet. “But you didn’t stop with the shit show for some reason. You were all touchy-feely with Showgirl last night during the meeting, only to go cold again moments later and walk away just because she and I made a couple jokes to lighten the tension in the room.
“So, then what do you do to the girl with the massive trust issues? You go to the one mother-fuckin’ woman left in this joint who taunted her and participated in the previously mentioned shit show of that morning, and you paste yourself to her for the night in plain view of my new buddy. I’m not even gonna tell you what her face looked like when she saw you eating at the diner of Jezzie in the common area, but man, when she saw you take her upstairs her knees actually buckled too.” I didn’t think anyone noticed that little slip up on my part. Damn it. I just knew I played off dropping that hand towel when I felt like I’d been stabbed in the gut with jealousy and something else. As I watched the verbal smack down Rabbit was laying on Rage the man’s face contorted in a way that made it impossible to read the emotions swirling there. “She watched you choose her tormentor after sending her signals that you wanted to be with her. It must have felt a little like history repeating itself considering her husband cheated and tried to have her stabbed in the back in the most literal sense possible. Oh, and we’ll put the cherry on the top of that betrayal with the look of triumph on Jezzie’s face as she noticed our girl watching. And the icing with the cherry… you just let Jezzie ‘thank you’ for being loyal to her, by choosing her over Charlie last night. Not just choosing her over Charlie, but flaunting that shit in the girl’s face. You fuckin’ idiot! How do you think Jezzie’s going to act out there now when no one is around to witness and check her behavior? Hell, you may as well have given Jez your word that she was your old lady, and you’re too fuckin’ clueless to realize what’s up. Normally, I wouldn’t care, but I actually like Charlie. Everything you’re doing is biting her in the ass and fucking with her trust even more. And that is something I won’t fuckin’ stand for, asshole. So, get your shit together!”
“Fuck!” It was said quietly, but not lacking for passion.
“Yeah, that about sums up your colossal fuck up.”
“I didn’t even think about who it was. I just grabbed the first blond I saw. It didn’t even click, man. I was seeing fucking red when you were…”
“When I was being her buddy?” Rabbit asked sarcastically. “Seriously dude, go get your head removed from your ass and so help me, if you hurt my friend again I won’t care that you wear that VP patch. I’ll take it to your ass anyway.” Rage nodded and disappeared back into his room while Rabbit strolled off down the hall. I pulled my door closed as quietly as possible, and went to go throw some cold water on my face. Coffee could wait a minute, because the heat in my face from the embarrassment, from the anger brewing, yeah it was a fire currently burning me up from the inside.
Rabbit had hit the nail on the head with his assessment of how that whole scene made me feel. It started out with confusion and disbelief, and wandered straight into me feeling betrayed yet again. I had, in fact, contemplated leaving in the wee hours of the morning when I couldn’t shut my brain off to get some sleep. Let’s be real though, where was I going to go? If I stepped out of this frying pan I was probably going to land straight in the fire about five minutes before I wound up dead.
“Arrrgghhhhh!” I screamed my frustrations out into the air around my bathroom. Part of me wanted to just rip something apart, another wanted to curl up in a ball and cry my heart out. This could not continue to be my life forever. I didn’t want to be trapped in a prison of desperation, and that’s the fine line I’d been riding for almost a year now.
A knock at my door sounded. “You okay in there?” It was Rage. He’d no doubt heard my little act of frustration. I made sure to slam the bathroom door closed and lock it since I wasn’t sure if I re-locked the bedroom door after I eavesdropped on him moments ago. Nope. Definitely didn’t lock it if the heavy footfalls from a pair of boots outside my bathroom door were any indicator. “I asked if you were okay in here. I’m gonna need an answer,” there was a jiggling of the locked doorknob. “Like right now, or I’m kicking the fuckin’ door in.”
“Piss off, I’m busy!” I yelled.
“Busy doin’ what, darlin’?” He asked in his put-on charming voice. Yesterday morning, that would have melted me in a way. Today, not so much. I knew it to be as fake as the man himself.
“I was assured I wouldn’t have to entertain anyone in my room as long as I stayed here. I’d appreciate if you’d leave my damn room right now!”
“What the fuck?” He banged on the door once, twice, then stomped away only to stomp right back up to the door. “Seriously, what the fuck is that supposed to mean? I’m not here for…” He hissed out a string of expletives and then continued on. “I heard you yell, and just wanted to check to see if you were okay.
That was it. I hit my breaking point. I tossed the door open, and stared the man down hard from my almost full foot below his height deficit. “Let’s get this straight right now, I don’t want you here. I don’t want you anywhere near me. I don’t trust you, and I sure as fuck don’t want you helping yourself into my room. Me yelling isn’t your concern. Me being frustrated with my situation isn’t your concern. Me feeling trapped inside my own life, that sadly doesn’t feel like my fucking life anymore, is NOT YOUR CONCERN! I need you to leave me the fuck alone, and get the hell out of my goddamn room before I completely lose my shit, you sorry ass excuse for a fucking man!”
“I think it’s time for you to get going for now, son.” A familiar, soothing voice called out from the doorway between my room and the hallway. Rage looked stricken by my words. His pallor turned ashen, and the horror of how he’d changed my opinion of him in one night was etched in every line and curvature of his face.
His hand started reaching up, no doubt ready to brush away the tears I was only now aware were free falling down my face. I flinched back before he could make contact. “Charlie,” there was so much pain contained in my whispered name, but I would not allow that to affect me. He had crushed me. No, we weren’t together, and I couldn’t be mad at him for pulling a fuck buddy into his room or making o
ut with someone in front of me, but the fact that it had been her… I could definitely be mad about that.
“Rage,” Shameless called out again, closer now. “You need to go.” Rage turned on his heel, took one look at the seriousness in Shame’s eyes and nodded his head.
“Take care of her,” he told the man who was apparently my Godfather.
“You bet your ass I will, and you better believe you and I will be having words later about the stunt you pulled last night too. Don’t think for one minute that shit went unnoticed by anyone, son.”
“Fuck!” He hissed again before continuing on out the door.
“Come here girly,” Shameless called out, and I obeyed, because something about him reminded me so much of my own dad, and I needed him right now. I went willingly into the man’s arms and that’s when the dam broke and the sobs started.
“I just want my life back,” I cried into his shoulder. “I want to dance again for the art of it, not because I need dollars thrown at me.” I felt the flinch in Shameless, but he continued to hold me as I wailed out my troubles. “I want to be free to go places I want to go without having to look over my shoulder and worry that someone has found me, that today’s going to be the day that I die. Why?” Sobs racked my body. “Why did he do this to me? Why did any of them do this to me? What is it about me that makes me people lie to me, and betray me, and take away everything that is me? I’m no one now. They took it all. Changed it all. What do I have now?” The sobs continued on while strong arms held me up and gentle hands continued to brush my hair back from my soaked face. He let me cry it all out into his shoulder before he answered any of my questions.
“You have me, Charlie, and I promise you I will earn your trust if it’s the last thing I do. I signed on for that the day you were born. I promised to look out for you for the rest of your life. You were a little misplaced for a while after your dad died. I got the news later, because I was out on a run we did across the border, but the minute I found out about your dad I went looking for you.”
Dancing With Danger Page 6