by Trudy Stiles
“Help pull me up,” he says, stretching his hand out. I stand up and grab hold of his hand as he expertly scales the side of the rock and stands next to me. “Wasn’t that easy?” he asks.
I playfully lean into him as we begin to walk back to the main trail. I turn to look at the tree and ledge one more time. Maybe someday I’ll come back here again, just to say hi. “Goodbye, Mom and Dad.”
I blow a kiss into the wind, and a warm breeze swirls around, enveloping us. Hugging us.
“I love you,” I whisper into the breeze as I run my finger along my mother’s wedding band.
Until we can be together again.
Heath
Present
I LOOK AT MY PHONE, willing it to ring.
Ring, dammit.
I miss Noelle so fucking much. She’s been back in Chappaquiddick for the past few days, but it seems like a lifetime. She insisted on going home so she could talk to her close friend, Dahlia. She didn’t want to do it over the phone and felt like it was best to tell her in person. They seem close, and I’m happy she was able to find a true friend in all of this.
We made it back here last week, taking our time coming back from Arizona. We left the lodge the day after she said goodbye to her parents. We drove south, making a pit stop in Sedona before we stopped in Scottsdale. When we stayed there for a few days at The Biltmore, Noelle and I relaxed completely. She went to the spa a few times, but we mostly just stayed in our suite, continuing to find each other again. We made love as often as we could, erasing all of the years that distanced us.
I fell deeper in love with her than I ever thought was imaginable.
We didn’t want to leave Scottsdale, knowing there was so much reality we’d have to deal with once we got home. Thankfully, my father was able to keep things quiet. He explained the situation to the new District Attorney, summarizing the events that led to Noelle’s disappearance. While most of the details were glossed over, her case was officially ‘closed,’ because she had been found ‘safe and sound.’ She also legally changed her name back to Noelle Durand and cried the moment she signed her old-new name on the documents her uncle had drawn up.
There’s still some loose ends that need to be tied up, but most of the big stuff is behind us. The one thing that still concerns me is how this news is going to be received by the Constantino family. My father assures me that Tonya’s family has distanced themselves as much as they can from her since her conviction several years ago. But that doesn’t comfort me at all. I’ve asked Gus, the former head of my father’s security detail, to come up with a plan so we can keep eyes on Noelle as much as possible. Almost like a Secret Service detail, but Noelle would be unaware she’s being watched and protected. If she finds out, I’ll take the blame, but it will be worth it knowing she’s safe at all times.
Noelle was right. I forgave my father pretty quickly for the secrets he kept from me for so many years. It wasn’t fair to hold anything against him when I knew that everything he did was for Noelle’s safety. I can’t argue with that or blame him at all.
I shove my phone into my pocket, and it rings as I’m about to let go. I pull it back out, and my heart sinks when I see it’s not Noelle.
“Hey, G,” I answer, staring at Garrett’s number.
“Are you coming to my place tonight? Stuart’s going to be here in about two hours, and he wants all of us here so he can go over the appearances we’re making over the next few weeks.”
“That’s right,” I say, forgetting that we have a bunch of stuff lined up to support the Greatest Hits album we’ve been compiling.
“We’re going to be on Howard, man!”
“I know, Stuart told me a couple of weeks ago.” Performing on the “Howard Stern Show” is a goal for all of us, and we’re thrilled it’s finally happening.
“Great, so are you coming?”
“Yeah, I’ll be there,” I look at the clock, expecting a contractor I hired to do some work to be here in about ten minutes. He finished the work yesterday, and I need to arrange final payment and make sure he’s taken care of the punch list I emailed him this morning. “I should be there on time.”
“You should bring Noelle,” he suggests, and my heart drops.
“She’s not in town,” I admit. I don’t necessarily want to tell him where she’s living and how far away she is. I’m not yet used to this long-distance thing we’re trying out, and I certainly don’t need Garrett to put a negative spin on it.
“Is everything okay?” he asks, sounding concerned.
“It’s all good.”
“Cool. See you in a few hours.” He hangs up just as my doorbell rings.
The contractor is right on time.
“HELLO?” NOELLE answers, groggily.
“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” I ask.
It’s almost midnight, and I just walked in the door from our band meeting with Stuart at Garrett’s house. It wrapped up about twenty minutes ago. We all got the run down on what’s coming up and what’s going to be expected of us during the media blitz that’s about to start. Everyone was there, including Tristan, who looked completely exhausted. My heart goes out to the guy, he’s been through so much lately. He looked like a disheveled mess and could barely keep his eyes open. Dax kept shooting me concerned looks, like we should do something to help him out, but I honestly can’t imagine how we can. The dude needs sleep so he can get back to his normal self before we have to get in front of the cameras in a few weeks.
“I was just dozing off,” Noelle says as she yawns.
“I miss you,” I state, wishing I could wrap my arms around her.
“I miss you, too.”
Neither of us speaks for a few moments, my heart is beating nervously in my chest. “I can’t do this,” I blurt out.
“What?” Worry fills her voice.
“This distance. It’s just not working for me. I need to see you now,” I insist.
She sighs. “Heath, I don’t live on Mars. We talked about this.”
I picture her lying on her bed in nothing but one of my t-shirts, her legs stretched out, eyes yearning for me. “I can’t go another day without being with you. Inside you.”
She sucks in her breath and says, “Oh?”
“You have no idea,” I respond.
“Do you know what song I was listening to tonight?” she asks playfully.
“What song?” I ask, and I know exactly what she’s about to say.
“’Feel So Close,’” she purrs, and I practically growl. She’s awakened the caveman and to my dismay, she’s hundreds of miles away.
“I was dancing around my place all by myself,” she giggles. “You know how much I love that song.”
Fuck. Me.
“I’ll be there in the morning,” I state, making a mental note to text Stuart when I get off the phone so he can book me a flight.
“You will?” she asks, knowing exactly what her teasing would provoke.
“What time is the first ferry from the Vineyard to Chappy?” I ask.
“Early,” she states.
“Define early.”
“Six-forty-five.”
“Ouch,” I say.
“It runs all day,” she assures me. “But that’s the earliest.”
Now I need to make sure I can get an early flight from Philly to Boston and then to Martha’s Vineyard.
“That song better be blasting throughout your house when I get there,” I demand, and she giggles again.
“I love you,” she says softly.
“I love you more,” I respond. I close my eyes, inhaling deeply.
This time tomorrow, I’ll be convincing her to come back here for good.
Noelle
Present
WE JUST FINISHED LUNCH in our favorite cafe and now Dahlia is staring across the table, her face completely blank. She’s blinking rapidly, and I snap my fingers, trying to get her attention.
I honestly can’t blame her for the reaction she’s having. O
ver the past hour, I told her my story. My entire story. In that short time, she experienced a wide range of emotions. Tears flowed, anger bubbled, more tears, and now disbelief.
Her body jolts at the sound of my snap, and she shakes her head quickly. “I don’t have any words,” she says quietly.
I nod my head and let her digest everything I’ve told her. It’s a lot to absorb and completely overwhelming.
“Take your time,” I urge, placing my hand on top of hers. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be honest with you from the beginning.”
Her face softens, tears threatening to spill. “Oh my God! Please don’t be sorry. That’s the last thing you should even worry about. I just–I can’t–” she stammers, trying to find something else to say.
“It’s been a journey,” I state. It’s really the best way to explain everything I’ve been through. A long, winding road filled with many bumps along the way, some bigger and more painful than others, but bumps all the same.
“You can say that again. I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. I would do absolutely anything to take away all of the pain you’ve endured.” Her words are familiar and remind me of the same vow that Heath proclaimed.
She sits back in her chair and scratches her head. “So your dad was in the mob?”
I laugh out loud, realizing she’s gotten some of the finer details jumbled.
“No, my dad wasn’t in the mob. His wife was. Not my mother, but my stepmother.”
She nods her head, “The one that abused you.” She’s sad again, her voice strained.
“I realize this is a lot to comprehend, but it’s all behind me.”
“You’re alive again, Sawyer–I mean–Noelle. Sorry, it’s going to take me a while to get used to this.”
I smile and squeeze her hand. “Thank you for listening. My life has been crazy, and even I can’t believe everything that’s happened to me. It kind of plays back like a soap opera.”
“I love you no matter what. And so does my family. We would do anything for you.”
“I really appreciate it, Dahlia. You have no idea.”
Dahlia’s pledge of support makes me realize who my true friends are–in this life and my old one. Haley and I had a long, honest talk after Heath and I returned. I went to her house, and she experienced a similar range of emotions that Dahlia did. But all too quickly, her true, selfish nature resurfaced. My disappearance became all about her and she quickly glossed over the fact that my life was ever in danger. All she cared about was what she didn’t know. During our entire conversation, she never once showed concern over my well-being and what I actually went through at the hands of Tonya. While it was eye-opening, I wasn’t surprised at all. She’d been like this when we were younger for longer than I cared to admit. She showed sparks of jealousy of my former life, even when she had no idea what was really going on.
I’m glad I could tell her my story, but at the end of the day, I’m happy to close the door on an acquaintance that was only ever one sided and based on her jealousy and narcissism. Someone like her is so good at literally sucking the life out of others, while the world only revolves around her. Haley felt absolutely no emotion when I walked out of her house, and I just felt relief. Good riddance.
“Please don’t disappear from my life,” Dahlia begs, standing up to squeeze me tight. Her tears flow and I know she’s absorbed so much tonight. “I couldn’t bear losing you.”
Familiar words fill my heart. Words that Heath constantly says to me, making me fall more in love with him every single day.
We sit back down as Dahlia composes herself. “Now I need to know, when were you going to tell me about Heath?” Her smile is wide, and her eyes eager.
“I’m not sure. You know, I almost told you when we saw Epic Fail in Boston.”
“Holy shit! I would have died!”
I thought about making up a story about meeting him in college and hooking up, just so I could tell her something. But I thought better of it and kept Heath as my own secret. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, she’s dying for more.
“I’m so in love with him, Dahlia, it hurts my heart when I’m not with him.” My admission solidifies the fact that I need to make a decision about what to do about staying here in Chappy. This island has become so much a part of me, though, I don’t know how I can possibly leave.
“You do what you need to do to keep that heart healthy,” she says, her smile getting bigger. “I’ve never seen you this happy, and I want it to continue, forever.”
“I love you,” I say to her, and she jumps up to embrace me again.
“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had,” she cries. “Even if you move far away, you’re never getting rid of me. Ever.”
“You make me so happy,” I whisper into her hair.
It feels really good to have a true best friend.
Really good.
I PULL INTO MY DRIVEWAY, thinking about how my revelation could have gone with Dahlia, and I’m so thankful that it went the way it did. Disappearing from my real life was devastating, but finding her was a blessing. And now that Heath’s back in my life, I make a vow to never to lose him again.
As I approach my house, I hear music. Really loud music. Bass reverberating from within and I almost squeal with excitement. I run up the steps and throw open my front door. The deep rhythm from “Feel So Close” is causing my house to shake. Heath is sitting in the chair, totally relaxed, legs stretched out in front of him. His eyes lock onto mine as I stop in the foyer. As much as I want to run into his arms, that’s not what he wants just yet.
I drop my purse, kick off my flip-flops, and reach behind my head, pulling out the elastic hair tie that’s holding my messy bun in place. As soon as I do, my hair falls down around my shoulders. I slip my fingers into the sides of my maxi skirt, sliding it down over my hips and then let it drop to the floor so I’m only wearing my tank top and panties.
The song reaches the crescendo and I throw my hands in the air, bouncing through the foyer and into the living room where Heath is sitting–waiting.
I close my eyes and let my body feel the song. My hips swaying back and forth, my heart beating in time with the deep bass. I get closer and closer to Heath, but he makes no move to get up from the chair. His eyes devour my body, and I’ve never felt so wanted. So loved.
I squeeze my eyes shut. As I sing the last words of the song, I can only imagine how terrible I sound. Thankfully the music is loud, so hopefully Heath can’t hear me. I’m jumping up and down, hands still in the air when, suddenly, his arms wrap tightly around my waist, causing me to stop in place. My heart is still beating in time to the music. I feel his breath near my lips, and I open my eyes. We’re nose-to-nose and his stare pierces my soul. So much love and lust mix together as he slides his hand behind my head. He then skims his hands down my back so he can cup my ass, lifting me up, my legs wrapping around his waist. He positions me in the perfect spot. I can feel the hardness in his pants as I press against him, tingles traveling through my core into my belly.
He devours me, our noses banging, our teeth scraping. He’s hungry for me, and I’m ready. So ready. He walks through the living room and to the hallway, stopping to press my back against the wall. He drops one of his hands between us, pushes my panties to the side, and slides two fingers into me. Pleasure begins to coarse through my body, and my mouth drops open, head falling backwards into the wall. “God!” I cry out.
He sucks and bites along my neck as his fingers thrust in and out, pushing me to the edge of a quick release. “Do it,” he groans into my neck. “Let go.”
He speeds up his rhythm, plunging and curving his fingers in the perfect spot, causing me to build and build until I scream. “Heath!” Suddenly, his fingers are gone and he expertly removes himself from his jeans and plunges deep inside, bringing back the intense sensations. His free hand is once again grasping my ass, holding me in place so he can control his thrusts deep inside me. I’m panting and begin to quiv
er, legs shaking. Our bodies move together as my fingers dig into the back of his neck. He’s pushing me over the edge again, filling me completely. He drives one last time, and my body convulses around him, riding our waves of pleasure.
“Fuck,” he mutters as he slides out of me. My legs are still shaking as he helps lower me to the floor.
I lean into the wall and look through the door, into my bedroom. “We didn’t make it far, huh?” I ask, gesturing toward my comfortable bed.
“I couldn’t help myself,” he says.
“I really like that song,” I smile, as I saunter past him into my bedroom.
“So do I,” he says from behind me as he closes the door behind us.
“I’M NOT LEAVING here without you,” Heath declares as I walk into my bedroom with our coffee. He’s still in my bed where we’ve been on and off since yesterday afternoon.
“Are you going to squeeze me into your suitcase?” I ask, amused.
He knows how hard it is on me being so far away from him, and I’ve been considering making a change soon. I don’t think I can part with my home here in Chappy, though. This place saved my life in more ways than one. Not only was I able to escape the physical abuse and danger I was in, but I was also able to heal. Tonya’s abuse shattered my self-esteem and so much more. I was afraid to fight back–to protect myself. I allowed the abuse to continue because I was terrified of what she could do to my father. When I came here, I was only eighteen years old, but I grew up quickly. I was also able to get the help that I so desperately needed.
When I visited my therapist the other day, she and I spoke extensively about me leaving Chappy. She told me I could do anything I put my mind to. She reminded me that I can feel safe anywhere I am as long as I believe in myself.
“No need to squeeze you into anything. We’re going to drive off of this island together.”