“I’ll try.”
A nurse walked in. “If you’re finished with your family reunion...” She smiled. “The doctor would like to see you.”
****
Nearly two hours later, Steele sat on the waiting room couch. He’d dimmed the lights. Tracy slept with her head on his lap, her body stretched out on the couch, and a blanket covering her. She’d been amazing all night...or morning. Sitting with Val or him while the other was in with Dad, running for food, gathering toothbrushes and toothpaste for each of them.
The talk they’d had with the doctor earlier was good news, but concerning. Angus was in excellent health for a fifty-five year old man, but they couldn’t determine what had caused his collapse.
They were keeping him in ICU and running more tests in the morning, so Steele told Val to go home. She resisted, but with Tracy’s encouragement, she finally left. Her home was a few blocks away, and she could be there quickly if needed.
Steele twisted a piece of Tracy’s hair around his finger. Soft and strong. Just like her. He rolled his eyes. He was getting punchy from lack of sleep.
How much did he want to tell Tracy about Ryder? He couldn’t ask his family to keep it from her, but did he want to reveal everything? His own inner demons? His rank behavior?
Loud footsteps sounded in the hallway. It had to be cowboy boots. The noise level increased until Ryder looked in the door.
Steele slid out from under Tracy and replaced his thigh with a pillow.
She fussed a little, then went back to her slow breathing.
He stepped out into the hall and closed the door.
Ryder looked like mold on shit. His too-long dark hair was sticking out everywhere, and his green eyes looked dry and worn out.
“You made it.” It had to be the stupidest comment he’d spoken in a long time.
“Long drive.” He nodded toward the closed door. “You and Tracy, huh?”
“Yep.” He didn’t ask how Ryder knew Tracy; half the world had seen that damn video, but he wasn’t in the mood to give details. “Val went home. She was exhausted. She’ll be back at eight.”
Ryder gestured to the bright area at the end of the hall. “He’s in there?”
“Yep.” Steele led the way and they stood outside the glass walls of their father’s room. Strange, he hadn’t let himself think of Ryder as his brother until now. “Damned odd how a crisis like this can put things into perspective.” Right now, that was as close as he’d get to making amends for his bad behavior.
“Yeah.” Ryder shoved his hands in his pockets.
“You can sit with him for a while, long as you don’t wake him up.”
Ryder looked at Steele. “I’ll take a shift. You take Tracy...are you staying at the ranch?”
“Yeah. Okay. I need to call a ranch hand to pick us up, so it’ll be—”
“Take my truck.” Ryder dug in his pocket and pulled out his keys.
Steele just blinked at him. He’d been in Ryder’s big rig, before the whole brother-thing happened. It was his baby. “You sure?”
“I’m sure.” He looked at Angus. “I’ll be here a while.”
“I’ll get a ranch hand to bring it back here. If that’s okay.”
“All right.” Ryder nodded toward their dad. “He looks so different...like this.”
“Uh huh.” The larger-than-life man looked small and frail with all the wires and tubes connected to him. “Doesn’t seem right.”
Ryder slowly shook his head.
Steele felt the pull to ask him—part common courtesy, part wanting to start making things right between them. “So, there’s room at the ranch if you want to...”
His brother’s head jerked to look at him, as if he’d been smacked. “Thanks, I really appreciate it, but Val said I could stay with her.”
“Right. Okay, thanks.” He jingled the keys. “Call if anything...”
“I will.” He slid open the door, stepped inside, and slowly closed it. Ryder caught Steele’s eye and nodded once before walking over to stand beside the bed. He reached out a hand to their old man and Steele had to turn away.
Steele’s actions had caused Angus to collapse. He could have killed his father by letting anger determine his actions. He swallowed hard and walked away. Now wasn’t the time to think through this whole mess. Not when he felt dog-tired and had a woman who deserved better than to be sleeping on a hospital couch.
He looked in the window of the waiting room door.
Tracy was sitting up, yawning and looking around.
He pushed open the door. “Ready to go?”
She smiled and nodded.
Steele’s world was grounded once again.
****
It took over half an hour to reach the McLairn ranch in a really sexy, tall red truck. Tracy had to force her eyes open a few times. The heated black leather seat cocooned her and almost lured her back to sleep, but she didn’t want to miss anything Steele said.
He talked about what the doctor had told them, how odd it was that they hadn’t found anything wrong with his father, and how his father asked him to look after the ranch while he was in the hospital.
Steele said nothing about Ryder or the reason his father had collapsed.
When they turned onto the driveway leading to the house, Tracy caught her breath. In the moonlight, the two-story massive home glowed white, the wraparound porch called to her in a way that made her wish this could be her home.
He parked the truck in front of a big separate garage and got out, coming around the truck to open her door. He left the keys in the ignition and an alert had sounded while his door was open. Funny, she’d never lived anywhere that you could leave your keys in your car.
She popped open her door before he could reach her, but she let him help her down from the seat. “How old is the house? It’s beautiful.”
Steele wrapped an arm around her shoulders and led her up the steps onto the porch.
“My grandfather built it in nineteen-fifteen. It’s been remodeled a few times, but it was built solid.” He opened the door for her.
The foyer opened into the living room, full of cushy-looking furniture and a big-screen television. He took her hand and led her into the kitchen. “Hungry?” He pointed to a plate of homemade cookies on the counter, covered in plastic wrap.
“No, thank you.” The hospital food wasn’t too bad, but it was heavy, and she should watch what she ate. Those cookies looked delicious, though. Her mouth watered, and she knew she was in trouble. “A glass of water would be nice, though.” She switched her focus from the cookies to the cute kitchen.
The room was old country charming with plenty of honey-colored wood cabinets, lace curtains, and knickknacks on shelves.
He drew a glass for her from the faucet, handed it to her, and gestured to the stairs. “Bedrooms are up there.” They passed a big mudroom, and he grabbed the luggage and bags he’d had delivered.
At the top of the stairway, the hallway branched right and left. “Dad’s room is to the right. Ours are to the left.”
To Tracy, it sounded like they wouldn’t be sharing a room, which was fine with her, considering the situation. Situations. His father lying in ICU, and her uncertainty about her relationship status with Steele. She’d planned to say goodbye at the first appropriate moment, but after hearing about why Steele had such an intense problem with Ryder, she wasn’t sure any more.
Maybe if she and Steele could talk it out, if he could explain why he felt the explosive anger he did, she could help him work through his emotions and learn to accept the things he couldn’t change. Maybe the relationship between Steele and her could work out, too. But he had to start trusting her. Had to let her into his life.
He set his bag in the first bedroom on the left. “My room. Just as I left it when I was seventeen.”
She smiled. “I had no doubt it would be.” A little burst of jealousy flooded her. When her father died, her mother had sold their little house and moved into an
even smaller apartment in town. All Tracy’s things were boxed up and stuffed onto a shelf in her mom’s garage.
He headed down the hall. Pointing toward the right, he said, “Val’s room.”
She’d have to do some snooping later. It’d be fun to know if Val was the princess type, the sporty girl, or all country.
At the next door on the left, he flipped on the light and let her walk in ahead of him. “Your room. You’ll share a bathroom with me.” He gestured to a door on their left.
The room was cute, the hardwood floor was partially covered with an oval braided rug, and the iron bed enticed her with a colorful handmade quilt and a half-dozen pillows.
“And I hope you’ll share my bed, too.” He set her packages on a long, low white dresser.
She turned away, not wanting to insult him, but it didn’t feel right being with him while his father was fighting for his life.
He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. “Just sleep together, Tracy. Nothing more.” He rubbed his cheek against her hair. “I need to hold you.”
She turned in his arms. “Of course.” She cupped his cheeks. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
After kissing her softly, he stepped back. “I have a couple things to do, but I’ll be right back.” He walked away and Tracy collapsed onto the bed. She had so much thinking to do, but her mind was too fuzzy to tackle anything right now.
She forced her tired body up off the bed, and opened her suitcase. “Darn it.” Those cookies were calling to her. “Just one, girl, plus a five mile jog tomorrow.”
She kicked off her shoes and tiptoed down the hall then crept down the stairs as quietly as she could. What was she doing sneaking around? Grinning, she kept tiptoeing slowly down the steps.
Halfway down, she heard Steele’s voice and stopped. Was there someone else in the house? “...and they’re going to run more tests tomorrow.” He paused. He must be on the phone.
“I’ll head down there in a few hours. I need some sleep.” Silence. “No, and I haven’t seen the new baler, either. I’ll call you when I’m in the barn. We can discuss that personnel issue, too.” Another pause. “Thanks, Sam, and hey, could you send a couple hands up to the house right away in a truck? One of them needs to drive that red truck sitting on the garage apron to the hospital in Crockett. The other hand can follow him and drive him back.”
Why did he need the truck driven back to town? He must have borrowed it from someone.
“Yeah, thanks. The keys are in the ignition. Just have him park it in the south lot and bring the keys in to the intensive care unit and give them to Ryder Landry.”
Her knees wobbled and she plopped down on the step behind her. Ryder was here? Steele didn’t mention it. Was he waiting until they’d both gotten some sleep to discuss it with her?
Steele laughed. “Yeah, I got friends in high places.”
Getting to her feet, she quietly walked back upstairs. At the top, the floorboard creaked.
“Tracy?”
She turned around and clomped down the steps. “I changed my mind about those cookies and...” She put her hand over her mouth.
He still held the house phone up to his ear.
She mouthed, “Sorry.”
“Thanks, Sam.” Hanging up the phone, he dropped his head.
“Everything okay?”
Steele pulled off his boots and set them neatly by the door. He padded over to the counter and pulled the wrap off the cookie plate. “Just a lot going on right now.” He held the plate toward her and she took a cookie. “Milk?”
She nodded. “Gotta have milk.”
He poured two glasses and set them on the counter.
“Want to talk about it?” She bit into the most scrumptious chocolate chip cookie she’d ever tasted.
Heaving a sigh, he crossed his arms. “Not right now. But after a few hours of shuteye, I’ll give you the whole story.”
A weight lifted from her heart, and she smiled. “I’d like that, Steele.”
He gave her an odd look, then selected a cookie. “It’s not gonna be pretty.”
Tracy stepped in front of him and leaned close, sliding one hand around his waist. “That’s okay. I don’t always need pretty, Steele.”
His gaze took in her whole face. “Can’t think of anything right now but gettin’ you in my bed.”
Baring her teeth, she took a nip out of his cookie and chewed, raising one brow. “Still want me in your bed?”
He spanked her butt once. “Yeah. I want you laying there eating cookies and drinking milk right next to me, sugar.” The silly words came out in a sexy, low tone.
She laughed and grabbed her milk glass, heading toward the stairs. “I’ve never heard that pickup line before, but damned if it ain’t working for me.”
His laughter followed her up the steps.
Chapter Eighteen
Tracy woke deep under the covers in Steele’s big oak bed. The space next to her where he’d held her while she slept was empty.
Sitting up, she stretched. He’d closed the drapes and the room was dark. When she pulled open the curtains, bright sunlight burst through the window, blinding her for a moment. The sun was high in the sky, and she checked her phone on the bed beside her. Three calls? She’d silenced it before they crawled into bed.
Eleven-fifteen. She’d slept longer than she’d planned to. She checked her call log. Three calls from her mother. That couldn’t be good.
As she dialed her mother’s number, she walked through the bathroom into the guest room.
“Tracy, where are you dear?” Her mom sounded happy, not anxious.
“I’m in Texas right now. What’s going on?”
“Didn’t you listen to the voice messages? Good news. Donny’s parole came through. He’ll be released in a week.”
Tracy’s stomach revolted and she had to grab the bedpost to steady herself. “Mom, is that good news?”
“I wish you would just get over whatever happened between you two in the past. He served his sentence and now he deserves a fresh start at a new life.”
She paced the room, the floor creaking in places as she walked. “Will it be different this time? He’s been in and out of jail since he was a teenager. What miracle happened during this sentence to make him an upstanding citizen?” She hated the sarcasm in her own voice, but she didn’t want to go through this all again. Her mother’s high hopes, her brother’s failing to live within the confines of lawfulness, the trials, the lawyers, the drain on her mother, financially and physically.
“Sometimes, Tracy, I think you don’t want him to succeed.” Her mother’s voice held the warble of impending tears.
“No, that’s not it.” She heard a noise in the hall, waited, but heard nothing more. “I don’t want you to get your hopes up. It’s the same thing over and over and I hate seeing the hurt in your eyes when he fails over and over again.”
“Well, this time will be different. He’s moving in with me and I’m going to help him more this time.”
Tracy wanted to bang her head on the wall. Her mother worked the evening shift at the grocery store, barely made enough to live off of, even with her dad’s social security death benefits coming in. “Don’t do it. He steals from you, he cons money from your friends, and he has no idea that what he’s doing is wrong.”
“That’s the past, dear, he’ll—”
“It’s not the past, it’s a pattern. Isn’t there a halfway house he can go to? At least for a while until he can acclimate to real life again?”
Her mom tsked. “He said all the subsidized ones are full, and he has no money to pay for the regular ones.”
That didn’t sound right. “Have you talked to his parole officer, or a social worker to confirm that?”
“Why would I?” Her mom had no clue the level of deceit Donny was capable of.
Tracy couldn’t let her mother shoulder this whole burden. “Listen, I’ll get on a flight to Montana tomorrow or the next day and help you
make arrangements, okay?” She would leave today, but she needed some time to work through things with Steele.
“But your life is so busy, dear. You don’t have to come all this way—”
“I want to. Don’t do anything, don’t agree to anything, until I get there and talk to some people, okay?” Silence. “Promise me?”
“Yes, yes, I promise.” She sighed. “It’s just that it’s been so lonely here with both you kids gone, and your dad in heaven.”
Or hell. Tracy shook her head. Neglecting one’s family in favor of his love of alcohol probably wasn’t a sin worthy of eternal damnation, but what Donny had done to her, and was about to do to their mother—again—probably was.
“I’m sorry, you’re right.” Tracy deserved every mile of that guilt trip. “Just promise me you won’t make any permanent decisions, and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
“Okay, dear.” Her voice sounded light and happy again. “I’ll get the spare room ready for you.” Had Mom heard anything she’d said?
She’d call later with her flight info and would remind her to put everything on hold. “Bye, see you soon.”
“Love you, Tracy.” She hung up.
Her mother did love her. She set down her phone and looked at herself in the dresser mirror. The skimpy nightgown she’d put on last night had kept a thin but effective barrier between Steele and her. Love. How did someone know they loved someone else? Her feelings toward her mother were ambiguous. When Tracy was a child and Donny was beating her, Mom had practically ignored her pleas for help. Could she love a person who favored one child over another to such an extreme extent?
The loose floorboard at the top of the stairs creaked.
She stepped out into the hall.
Steele strolled toward her, his blue T-shirt tucked into his jeans. “Hi. I heard you moving around up here.”
“Hi.” Her insides warmed as he approached her. Was this love? The feeling that she never wanted to be apart from him? Someone she could share her secrets with, and be trusted to keep his secrets? She wanted to rely on him completely, just as she’d prove herself worthy of his trust. She rushed toward him and flung her body full-length against his, her arms tight around his neck.
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