by J. P. Rice
Titania held her hand out as she hovered in front of my face. “Patience, darling. Allow me to finish. You tell Octavius that you will turn Justinian over to Jonathan if he steps out of line. Nothing will enrage the werewolf more than the threat of the vampires desecrating the body of his offspring.”
I lifted my eyebrows and the corner of my mouth twisted up. “Now you’re on to something. I don’t think I’ll say anything just yet, but this is a nice card to have in the back pocket.”
Titania tilted her head to the side. “Just trying to help out the team.”
Yes. This flew in the face of the new leaf I was trying to turn over. The damn wind always seemed to blow that leaf back over. Every. Single. Time.
Sure, kidnapping a werewolf sounded bad on its face, but there were certain nuances to the situation. This was a classic reversal of fortune, since he was initially trying to kidnap my friend to hold over my head. Besides, I planned to get him a nice cage.
I went over to the cabinet and pulled out a precious item. “Hey, Titania. I had Owen put something together for you.”
I held up the specially designed burgundy sports bra that Owen had made for her. The capital letter T had been stitched into it with golden thread. It was bigger than just a bra, more like a tight shirt with extra features. Owen had worked two hidden pockets into it too. Best of all, it had a superhero costume feel to it.
Choked up, Titania said, “That’s for me?”
“Sure is. Here. Let me help you get it on.”
Titania landed on my counter and I helped get the stretchy material over her big head and down onto her thorax. She pushed her arms and legs through as I tucked her big old boobies into the cups and pulled the snug shirt down to the bottom of her thorax.
“Try it out. See how it feels.”
Her wings began beating and she zipped across the room and smashed into the wall.
“Son of a bitch,” she exclaimed as she peeled herself off the ground. She jumped up and started shadow boxing. “This is amazing. They don’t weigh me down or ripple in the wind. I can go even faster now.”
She zipped around the kitchen a few times, and as she hovered in front of me, she did look like a tiny superhero.
Chapter 3
My doorbell rang. As I walked out of the kitchen, the Morrigan materialized on my welcome mat just inside the front door. Her arms emerged from her raven feather cloak and she played with her wild hair, not having much effect.
She said, “I know I scare you when I just show up, so I figured I’d ring the bell this time.”
“Probably because I’m on edge all the time with all these jagoffs coming at me. Let’s go sit down in the kitchen.” I led her down the short hallway and into the kitchen.
She hooked the leg of the chair with her foot and pulled it out. As she was plopping into the seat, she asked, “What do you have to drink around here?”
Never the shy one, the Morrigan. “Why don’t you just tell me what you want?”
“You have any of those caffeine boosters?” she asked and one side of her mouth curled up.
She was talking about an energy drink. She didn’t need them, but she sure loved them. “I’ve got a Red Bull in the fridge.” I grabbed the silver can toward the back of the top shelf. I tossed it over to the Morrigan, who snatched it out of the air.
I warned, “Don’t...”
But before I could get out another word, she cracked it open and sprayed herself with the foamy liquid. Her neck jerked toward me, her face tightening in anger, and I put my hands up as if to say, I’m innocent. The intensity of her stare had killed men before. I turned around and ripped three paper towels off the roll.
I spun around, took two steps forward and handed them to the Morrigan. As she dabbed her raven feather cloak, she finally broke the silence, “Have you thought about what we talked about outside the Triskele Room?”
I tried to think of an excuse. If I were going to be a better person, spending an extended period of time with the Morrigan would make that nearly impossible. She wasn’t a bad immortal per se. She just operated under a different set of rules than the rest of us.
At the end of the day, she peddled in death. The inconvenient truth. She did the job that scared the wits out of everyone else. She and the other merchants kept the natural order. A necessary evil.
I couldn’t think of a good excuse, so I went with a classic. “I’ve got a lot of stuff going on right now. Especially with the vampires and werewolves. My hands are kind of full.” I knew it was weak sauce, but it was all I had on the spur of the moment.
She kicked her feet up on the table, her shiny leather boots running up her calf and disappearing into her cloak. She tugged on the red laces of her boots. “I could really use some help on this one. You know that no one else will work with me.”
“Gee. I wonder why.” I pointed to her dirty boots, muck and slushy snow dripping from the grooves of her soles. I was shocked it hadn’t melted during her transfer and went for the paper towels again. “What exactly is going on?”
The Morrigan chugged some of the Red Bull, belched loud enough for my neighbor to hear, and said, “The merchants aren’t sure yet. Someone is producing their own death cards and he or she is using them at will. Some of the reported stiffs still had active death cards. I had three that died, and their souls were claimed by someone else.”
Her nostrils flared, and her expression hardened, bordering on venomous. My friend was pissed someone was infringing on her territory. I leaned back against my counter. “Could one of the merchants be selling them on the side?”
The Morrigan got up and stretched out her back. She moved her upper body from side to side as she spoke, “Very unlikely. Once one of our cards is produced, it can’t be replicated. Or so I’d thought. If one of the death merchants violates our pact, they know it’s instant death. For instance, it’s never even crossed my mind.”
That statement carried a great deal of weight. She was by far the most devious person I knew. She enjoyed breaking the rules and hoping that the opposing party backed down. Normally, she was right.
I threw the paper towels over the Morrigan’s mess on the table and asked, “Could someone else have gotten greedy?”
The Morrigan stopped stretching and opened the refrigerator. “Sure, but not likely. Ereshkigal had two of her cards stolen, but that’s it. She’s the only one who has reported anything out of the ordinary. Nobody has tried to steal any from me.”
I thought about the bigger picture. “I might be a little obtuse, but what is the point of stealing them?”
The Morrigan opened the jar of kosher dill pickles without picking it up from the door of the fridge. She plucked a whole pickle out, closed the jar and shut the door. With pickle juice dripping on my kitchen floor, she took a big bite and spoke over the crunching, “Someone gets to play a God and decide when someone dies and where his or her soul will go. Or they could sell the souls to someone. All I know is this person is messing with the natural order.”
I turned away and pretended to stare out the window. She looked gross talking with her mouth full of dull green bits. I also didn’t want to mention that she and the other merchants gambled over the cards, which I could only assume meant they were messing with the natural order. It was right on brand for the Gods to not practice what they preach. Even my friend, Mo, was guilty of the hypocrisy.
“What could they do with the souls?” I asked.
She crunched down on the pickle again and continued, “That is the part that we are freaking out about. We don’t know where they are taking the souls or what they plan to do with them. We need to find a pattern. Sometimes the other Gods will ask me to find a particular soul. A brilliant doctor for instance. Or is everything being done at random? I don’t like not knowing what’s going on.”
“Ha. Welcome to my world.” I turned back to her, and she was wiping pickle juice off her lips with her cloak. I said, “I never know what’s going on. I’ll keep my ears peeled,
but like I said earlier, I’ve got a few other things on my plate right now.” I needed to keep planting that seed in case an emergency bailout became necessary.
“If I need you, can I call on you?” She held up the back of her hand and showed me the scar that had sealed our fate as blood sisters.
I stared at the matching scar on my hand, suddenly remembering how close we had been. No, I couldn’t go down that road again. “I can’t commit fully just yet.”
She pounded her fist into her open hand. “Come on. After all I’ve done for you. You’d be back in Sleepy Willow pining about your stupid husband if it weren’t for me. I gave you magic. You were nothing without me.”
So this bitch went straight for the jugular. Goddess or not, game on. “Yeah, I was nothing. You know what else? I wasn’t a monster. I know why you created me. To handle your destruction for your amusement. Don’t act like you’ve done anything for me. You made me this way so you didn’t feel so bad about your own malicious behavior. You don’t give two shits about me. Never did.”
The Morrigan’s face flushed and her icy eyes filled with anger as her red pupils widened. She tucked her arms inside her cloak and turned away. “All you had to do was say no. Not once did you do that. I took you from a whiny little girl to one of the baddest bitches ever known.” She faced me again, shaking her head slowly. “And this is how you repay me?”
I knew I shouldn’t have given her that Red Bull. She got too hyped up. I said, “Again. You didn’t do it for me. Stop even acting like that. You haven’t had to deal with any of the repercussions. I’m the one constantly being chased by the magic councils. I’m the one who fights against my dark blood every single day. Not you. Me. You don’t have to constantly look over your shoulder in worry.”
The Goddess shook her head, disappointment running through her eyes. “I can’t believe you’ve gone soft. It’s tragic really. And to top it off, you’re acting like a child. I’m the one. I’m the one. Blah, blah, blah. Remember when you were trapped in the Lair of Justice. I’m the one who got you out. Not you,” she said, mocking my voice. “Never would have thought you would turn on me.”
Why was she attacking me? “I’m not turning on you, but if you’re going to act like this, maybe it’s for the best. You go your way and I’ll go mine.”
“I have a feeling it will work out a lot better for me.” She started to laugh and cut herself off. I couldn’t believe she was trying to intimidate me.
“You know what? I don’t even care anymore.” I was done letting her manipulate me. “You’re just mad because I’m the only one who will stand up to you. You’re the reason I snap at people and act like...like...like you. No wonder we butt heads.” I held my hands out at my sides. “You want to do away with me, then get on with it. I’m already fookin’ dead inside anyway.”
Her cheeks reddened, and her breathing deepened, the obsidian feathers of her cloak pulsing rhythmically. “Don’t tempt me. You should rethink the situation and commit to helping me out. Why don’t we leave it at that?”
The Morrigan cartwheeled over to my door. She ended up standing on my welcome mat, facing the other way and waved goodbye as her body began to dissipate. Showoff.
Within a few moments, her form dissolved into nothing, leaving no trace that she had been there other than the empty Red Bull can with her fingerprints on it.
How dare she attack me like that! I was basically Frankenstein’s monster to her. She’d targeted all the creatures I’d stolen magic from including the dragon. She’d egged me on the entire time. Now she wasn’t happy that the monster was rebelling. Boo fooking hoo.
I held my arm up and my fingers were quivering. Thoughts of the sandy beaches of Hilton Head rushed into my mind. I didn’t have to deal with any of this nonsense down there.
A buzzing sound filled my ears. I’d nearly forgotten my roommate as Titania zoomed into the room. She spoke through her yawning, “Everything all right? I thought I heard something out here.”
She wasn’t exactly the best guard dog considering the Morrigan could have eaten me alive as Titania slept in the other room. I said, “Just fine. Hope I didn’t wake you. You can go back to sleep if you want.”
Before jumping to a rash decision, I decided to see my father for counsel. The former King of Ireland always had the right answers.
LINK TO BLACK BIRDS