Ash studied my face. “One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure. And you’re the Holy Grail to me.”
My cheeks blushed and I didn’t know what to say.
“Ash?”
I turned to see a middle aged woman wearing pearls. She was standing with a man wearing a suit.
“What a surprise.” She smiled at him, clearly adoring him. Judging her age, she must be a teacher, parent, or family friend.
Ash looked flustered. “Oh. Hi, Mom.” He didn’t seem happy to see her.
His mom glanced at me then turned back to him. “Who’s this?”
“Uh…” Ash stumbled over his words. For the first time, he wasn’t calm and collective. “A friend from school.”
A friend? What?
“Oh.” His mother nodded. “I’m Loraine, Ash’s mother.” She extended her hand to shake mine.
“Nice to meet you, Mrs. James.” I felt hollow inside, empty.
“It’s a pleasure.” His father shook my hand.
“Likewise.”
Ash looked annoyed.
“Let us join you,” his mother said. “We’ll have our waiter bring everything over.”
“Actually, we want some privacy,” Ash said.
“Nonsense. We’ll be right back.” She turned away, her husband trailing behind her.
Ash ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “I’m sorry about this.”
I said nothing, hurt he introduced me as a friend.
“I didn’t tell them you’re my girlfriend because my parents are snooty assholes. They’ve wanted me to settle down for a while, and if I tell them what you are to me, they’ll rip you apart. I don’t want you to deal with that—at least right now.” He stared at my face, waiting for me to say something. “If it really offends you, I’ll tell them exactly what you mean to me without any regret. I’m just looking out for you. Our relationship is only beginning and I don’t want you to have any more pressure.”
Now I felt slightly guilty for being upset.
“It’s your choice. What do you want?” He glanced at them, seeing them return.
“No, it’s okay. I understand.”
“Are you sure? Because I don’t give a shit what they think. I’m just protecting you.”
“No, it’s fine.”
They came back to the table, ending our conversation.
His mother placed her glass on the table then sat down. “So, how’s school?”
Ash seemed irritated. “It’s fine. Nothing new to report.”
“How’s emergency medicine?” his father asked.
“Exciting, but I missed primary care.” Ash drank half his water then put it down.
I felt like they weren’t having a real conversation, more of an interrogation.
“Really?” His father seemed surprised.
His mother patted his arm and looked at me. “My husband went to medical school at Stanford. He’s a surgeon.”
Oh. Why did that matter? “That’s impressive.” What else was I supposed to say?
She seemed to approve of my response.
Ash looked embarrassed. “I like having a relationship with the patient. It makes the job more meaningful.”
“But you don’t make as much money,” his father countered. “Emergency medicine and surgery are where the big bucks are.”
Was that all they cared about?
Ash leaned back in his chair. “It’s too soon to make any concrete decisions.” He was a completely different person around them. It seemed like he didn’t even like them.
“So…how’s your sister?” his mother asked. She looked down as she said it, almost like she was ashamed. Why did she refer to her like that? Not by her name?
“She’s doing well.” Ash drummed his fingers on the table. “Her artwork is only attracting more people. And she’s having a great time living with Scotty.”
His mother rolled her eyes. “The shame…”
Huh?
Ash glared at his mother then averted his gaze. He was holding his tongue, trying not to explode.
His parents didn’t acknowledge me once. Never once was I included in the conversation. Now I understood why he didn’t want to admit his relationship to me. They would interrogate me in the same way.
His mother turned his gaze on me.
Oh no.
“Do you go to school with Ash?” She kept her back perfectly straight and her body poised.
Uh… I looked at him, asking for direction.
“No, she doesn’t.” Ash answered for me. “She’s actually my next door neighbor.”
“Oh.” His father nodded. “That’s nice…”
“Do you go to the university?” his mom questioned.
Uh…
Ash answered for me again. “She’s a successful photographer. She works with Livia sometimes. Actually, you met Alaska at the showcase a few months ago.”
They did? I didn’t even remember that.
“Oh.” The disapproval came into her eyes. “Well, that’s lovely.”
Was she like this with Livia too?
Ash was fuming from his side of the table. “I just realized I needed to be somewhere. Alaska and I are leaving.”
“What?” His mother looked at him like she was just slapped in the face.
“I’m sick of you judging everyone for not being doctors or lawyers. If you keep ridiculing people like this, your circle is only going to get smaller and smaller.” Ash pulled out my chair for me then helped me stand up. “Goodnight.”
Without looking back, he guided me out of the restaurant. The tension was in his shoulders and his hands were clenched. He opened the door for me, still fuming, and then practically slammed it once I was inside the car.
When he was behind the wheel, he left the parking lot and got onto the road, driving nowhere in particular. “I’m sorry about that. I had no idea they would be there.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”
“Now do you understand why I didn’t introduce you by your title?”
“Yeah… Do they treat Livia that way too?”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t even get me started. They’ve wanted me to settle down with a wife, so if they found out it was you, my mom would pry into your personal affairs like a private investigator. I’ve never had a girlfriend before, so they would be even more anal about it. And if I did bring someone around, they would know she was it—the woman I would marry.”
My heart moved into my throat. What did he say?
He grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumb over the knuckles. “I’m so sorry. I couldn’t care less what they think, but I didn’t want to put you on the spot. The last thing I need right now is to lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Ash.” I looked at our joined hands.
He breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m still hungry. How about you?”
“Starving.”
“Let’s just get McDonald’s and eat it at the apartment.”
I smiled. “McDonald’s?” We were just at a fancy restaurant where his parents basically bragged about how successful they were. And now he wanted fast food?
“They may be fancy, but I’m not. What do you say?”
“I love McDonald’s.”
He pulled my hand to his lips and kissed it. “I knew you were the one.”
We came into my apartment with our bags and sat on the couch.
He stuffed a fry into his mouth. “I can’t remember the last time I had this…so damn good.”
I assumed he didn’t eat junk very often based on his stunning physique. “I could eat this every day. And Taco Bell.”
“Taco Bell is the best.”
I sat beside him on the couch while we ate in our finest clothes.
“You know what Livia and I used to do when we were younger?”
“What?”
“My mom would make some pretentious crap and we would toss it when she wasn’t looking. Then I would drive us to McDonald’s and we woul
d eat in the parking lot.”
I laughed. “Did you ever get caught?”
“Nope. Since I’m their golden boy, I can do no wrong.” He rolled his eyes.
“Why do they favor you so much?”
He shrugged. “Because I followed my family’s footsteps. Livia took her own path and pursued her real passion, but yet she takes heat for it. I admire her for chasing her dreams even though it was against all odds. I took the easy way out if you ask me.”
I was glad Ash wasn’t stuck up like the rest of his family. “Do you not like medicine?”
“I didn’t. But now I’m warming up to it.” He finished his food then left the trash on the coffee table. “I guess your grandma had a lot to do with that.”
“She can be pretty persuasive…”
He smirked. “Yeah.”
I stuffed my wrappers into the bag. “Do your parents know about your…lifestyle?”
“You mean my old lifestyle?” He put his arm around my shoulder. “I told them a few months ago.”
“Was that…awkward?”
“I said it out of anger. They weren’t happy about Livia living with Scotty before marriage and they were giving her a hard time about it, saying it was wrong she isn’t a virgin before marriage.”
They sounded like sexist assholes to me.
“I told them it was pretty clear that I’m not a virgin and they’ve never given me crap about it because I’m a boy. Then I told them I slept with more women than I could count and I’m a manwhore. I’m sick of the way they pick on my sister all the time, I threw myself under the bus just so they could leave her alone.”
I rubbed his knuckles. “That’s really sweet.”
“They don’t know what she’s been through.” His eyes turned serious. The anger and pain was deep inside. “If they did, they might think before they speak.”
Ash never told me what happened to his sister and I never pressured him to reveal it.
“I should probably tell you…”
“You don’t have to. It’s none of my business.”
“But you’re my girlfriend now. It’s different.”
“Okay.” I interlocked my fingers with his.
He sighed before he began. “I never committed to a girl before because I was having too much fun to settle down. But then when I found out what happened to my sister, I realized I could never be with anyone. The idea of loving someone so much and getting hurt…was unbearable. What happened to Livia ripped me apart, but what if it happened to my wife? I couldn’t stand it…”
I knew this was bad. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know.
“She was raped.”
My heart squeezed painfully. It was a fate I’d never want for myself or anyone else.
“She was given drugs and then tied up…and I was an ass to her when I didn’t know. I always teased her for not going out or being social. I was a dick to her and I wish I wasn’t.”
“You didn’t know…” I squeezed his hand.
“She asked me to treat her the same and not look at her as a victim. But honestly, everything is different. I hate myself for what happened. I should have protected her.”
“Did they catch the guy who did it?”
“No…she said she doesn’t remember who it was.”
I moved my face close to his and tried to comfort him. “I’m sorry.”
“When I started to care for you, I got scared. I didn’t want to feel this pain again if something happened to you. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t. The feelings ran their course until I couldn’t shake them. Now I’m obsessed with you. I’d kill myself if something ever happened to you. And I promise it never will.”
“I know, Ash.”
“So if I’m protective of you, it comes from a good place.”
I cupped his face and kissed him. “I know.”
He pulled me close to him, as close as I could get. He held me for a long time, saying nothing as we sat on the couch of my apartment. His fingers moved through my hair then down my back. “Can I sleep with you tonight?”
“You don’t need to ask.”
“Then I want to sleep with you every night.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad.”
He placed a kiss on my neck then lifted me from the couch, taking me in the bedroom. He set me on the bed then leaned over me. “Get dressed. I’ll be right back.”
I didn’t want to get dressed. If anything, I wanted to get undressed. “Okay.”
He left the apartment then walked to his, probably to change into his sleepwear.
I changed into a loose nightdress then waited for him to return. When minutes passed and he didn’t walk in, I knew something was wrong. I walked into the living room and saw him stare at my desk. He wore sweatpants and a t-shirt.
I stared at him for a moment, watching him. “What are you doing?”
He grabbed a picture and held it up. “Can I have this?”
I came closer to him to inspect what it was. It was a picture of me on the beach. I was staring at the ocean, a strip of sunblock on my nose. It was a picture I wasn’t fond of. “Why?”
“Because I love it.”
“But I look…sad.”
“No, you look real. That’s the look you get when you’re thinking about something meaningful, feeling something. It’s a look you’ve given me countless times. Please let me have it.”
How could I say no to him? “Sure.”
“Thank you.” He set it on the table next to my door so he would grab it on his way out. “I know where I’m going to put it.”
I didn’t ask where.
He looked down at me, seeing the dress that reached my knees. I didn’t wear a bra, and that was probably noticeable to him. But I never slept in one. It was too uncomfortable.
His eyes darted back to my eyes. “You look…beautiful.”
I washed my make up off and my dress wasn’t tight. I didn’t think I looked beautiful. But maybe I was wrong. “Thanks…”
He stepped toward me then wrapped his arms around my waist. His hand gripped the back of my dress, squeezing it like he was trying to control himself. “I’ve never slept with anyone before. You’re my first.”
“I am?”
“Yeah. And I’ve never slept better in my life.” He rubbed his nose against mine.
I melted at his words and touch. “Me neither…”
He pressed his lips to my mouth and gave me a slow kiss. My hands immediately hooked around his neck, desperate for the intimacy he gave me. He grabbed my ass then lifted me off the ground, carrying me to the bedroom. Once my body hit the sheets, he moved over me and kissed me like he had the other night. His length pressed against me and I was impressed by his size. The longer Ash and I were together, the more I fell for him. He made me feel safe, like he would never hurt me. And he made me feel treasured. Any free time he had was spent with me. I felt like his obsession, his dream.
I wanted to feel the connection of our bodies. Not only was I hungry for him, but my heart yearned for him. He kissed me hard like I was his greatest fantasy, and every time he touched me his hand shook. I felt sexier than I ever had.
I pulled one strap down of my dress then the other, exposing myself to him.
His lips stopped caressing mine and he looked down at me, staring at my chest. His cock twitched, pressing against me. The desire in his eyes fueled me, made me hotter than I’d ever been.
He leaned down and pressed his lips to the skin over my heart, making me moan. Then he pulled away and slipped the straps back on.
The confusion flooded me, and so did the disappointment.
“You said you wanted to take this slow.”
“But I want you…”
He kissed the corner of my mouth. “And you know I want you.” He rocked his hips into me gently, pressing his hardness into my hip. “But I’m head-over-heels for you and I need you to want me in the same way first. Because I know it would break my heart if you weren’t. If I rush this, I coul
d lose you. And I’m going to avoid that at all costs.”
“You must be frustrated…”
He looked into my eyes. “I’ve never been more satisfied in my life.” He kissed the corner of my mouth again. “You give me more than you realize. I know you’ve been hurt and been used. I’ll never do that to you. Let me prove it first.”
He made me melt all over again. He turned down sex with me twice, preferring to kiss me and spend time with me instead of being inside me. I’d seen him bring girls over, fucking them and then kicking them out as soon as he was finished. But it was the opposite with me. He just wanted to be with me. Getting laid was irrelevant to him.
And that made me fall more in love with him.
CHAPTER SIX
Ash
I was on cloud nine.
Alaska was the piece of me that was missing. She was the one woman who made me a better man. With her, I didn’t care about myself. All I wanted was for her to be happy. It was my purpose.
As much as I wanted to make love to her, I couldn’t. I’d fallen so deeply in love with her that I couldn’t be with her in such an intimate way unless she loved me in return. I didn’t want to be used. I didn’t want the moment to be meaningless. And I didn’t want it to be just a purely sexual act. I needed her to look me in the eye and tell me she loved me. Because if she didn’t, I knew it would break me into a million pieces.
She wasn’t the only one afraid to get hurt. I had my own issues, and getting close to someone was one of them. I broke that barrier and dove into a relationship with her, unable to resist her.
I had no regrets, but I treaded lightly. She was the best thing that ever happened to me and I wouldn’t ruin it for any reason. I loved sleeping with her at night, seeing her face first thing in the morning. I loved kissing her, treasuring the softness of her lips. Hearing her moan was the best part. Our bodies were dying for each other. My cock was eager to be inside her, but my heart was stronger.
I was studying in my living room, trying not to think about Alaska when there was a knock on my door. I left my textbook on the table then walked to the front door. I saw Alaska through the peephole, wearing shorts and a pink top. It contrasted against her dark skin perfectly. Her hair was over one shoulder, exposing the skin of her neck. I opened the door.
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