Unmistakeable

by Abby Reynolds

It was everything I hoped for.

  I thought I was happy with Jace, but when I thought about our relationship in retrospect, I realized it was nothing like what Ash and I have. It wasn’t passionate and explosive. It wasn’t romantic and heated. They were so different they weren’t even comparable. I loved Ash so much that it hurt. He wasn’t the man I expected to love, but I knew he was the man I wanted forever.

  “I’ll be back in a few hours.” He gave me another kiss on the doorstep.

  “You can study here.” I gripped his biceps, wanting him to stay. I was becoming clingy with him, needing him all the time.

  He pulled me closer to him and smirked. “You think I could concentrate with you lurking around? Not gonna happen.”

  I wished he didn’t have an exam the next morning. “Will you still sleep with me?”

  His eyes softened. “It might be late.”

  “I don’t care. I’ll give you a key.”

  He stared at me for several seconds, his emotion floating on the surface. “You can’t stand to be apart from me.”

  “What gave me away?”

  “I can’t stand to be away from you either.” He bit my lower lip before he pulled away. “I’ll be back for bedtime.”

  “I’ll miss you.”

  He growled then kissed me again. “Stop torturing me.”

  “I will if you will.”

  He found his restraint and stepped back. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

  “Okay.” I pouted at him.

  “Keep doing that and I’m going to bite that lip off.”

  I smirked then walked inside my apartment. “Make sure you wake me up in a nice way.”

  “I have a few things in my mind, darling.” He walked into his apartment then shut the door.

  I walked back into mine and sighed, realizing just how far I’d fallen. Ash was my best friend and he was an amazing boyfriend. I wanted to kiss him and cuddle with him at the same time.

  I edited a photo shoot I made the other day and turned on some music. After a few minutes, I finally stopped thinking about Ash and focused on my work. Ever since we got together, my work had suffered and so had his schoolwork. We were horrible influences on each other.

  A knock sounded on my doorstep and my heart sped up. It was Ash. He couldn’t concentrate on his schoolwork being away from me so he decided to come here.

  Yes.

  I skipped to the door and answered it.

  “Jace?” He was the last person I expected to see on the other side of my door.

  He flinched at my sudden appearance. “I’m surprised you answered the door.”

  “I assumed you were someone else…” We hadn’t spoken in months. I still couldn’t believe he was standing on my doorstep, looking at me. “I gave you everything you left here. There’s nothing left.” Maybe he lost a baseball cap or something.

  “No…that’s not why I’m here.”

  Okay…this was weird.

  Jace was wearing jeans and a tight t-shirt. His muscles were thick and large. His career as a fireman made him physically strong. He had to be ready for anything. He ran his fingers through his short hair then shifted his weight, clearly uncomfortable.

  “Then why are you here?”

  He sighed before he spoke. “I wanted you to know that Sarah and I broke up.”

  Why would I care? “Okay…”

  “I caught her cheating on me. When I confronted her, she left me for him. Now it’s like our relationship never happened…”

  I felt the anger rise. “I sincerely hope you don’t expect me to care. Because I couldn’t care less about your personal life or who you fuck. If anything, I’m glad to hear that karma bit you in the ass.”

  He didn’t react to my harshness. He didn’t move or blink. “That’s exactly what I wanted. I hoped it would make you happy knowing I got what I deserved.” He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked at the ground.

  I was not expecting that…

  “I’m really sorry for what I did. It was cruel and wrong. I was selfish and all I thought about was myself. I wished I’d done things differently. Not only do I wish I had told you the truth instead of hurting you, but I also wish I hadn’t cheated on you to begin with.

  “Even before Sarah left me, I felt the guilt. I knew I hurt one of the kindest people in the world and I hated myself for it. And I missed you…I missed my best friend. I used to tell you everything and you told me everything. I suddenly felt that hole in my heart that Sarah could never fill. Perhaps our sexual relationship had died out but I could have brought it back to life. Instead, I bailed. And in the end, I lost a lot more than I could afford to lose.”

  I was in shock. I never expected him to say any of those things. I assumed he was happy with Sarah, never thinking about me.

  “I know this doesn’t make up for what I did, but I want you to know I’m sorry and I feel terrible for what happened.”

  I crossed my arms over my chest. “I forgive you.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You do?”

  I nodded. “I think you’re being sincere. And even if you aren’t, I don’t want to hate you anymore. I’ve let it go.”

  His body visibly relaxed. “I know this is a long shot but…I’d really like it if maybe…we could try again. I’m not asking for your trust or anything, but maybe we could start slow? Be friends first?”

  Not a chance. “I forgive you, but I’ll never trust you again. And that doesn’t matter anyway. I’m not in love with you anymore. I’m in love with someone else, a man far better than you’ll ever be.”

  “The guy that beat me over the head with a bottle?” A slight trace of humor was in his voice.

  “The very one.”

  “Your neighbor?”

  “Yeah.”

  Suspicion came into his eyes. “Were you cheating on me with him?”

  I glared at him. “You have a lot of nerve…”

  “I’m sorry. I take it back.”

  “Our romance started three months after ours ended, not that it matters.”

  He nodded. “You’re happy with him?”

  “I’m over the moon.”

  “Well, if it doesn’t work out…”

  “It will.” I surprised myself by saying that. “He’s the last man I’ll ever date.”

  “Damn…I threw away the greatest thing that ever happened to me.”

  Ash’s door flew open and he marched toward us with murder in his eyes.

  Oh shit.

  Ash choked him from behind then slammed him onto the ground. “Come near my girl and you forfeit your right to live.”

  I stepped back at his aggression.

  “Asshole, she’s mine now. You fucked it up when you got your dick wet in that whore. You have no right to speak to her, to even look at her.” He gripped him by the throat and punched him hard in the nose.

  “Ash, stop.”

  My voice steadied him. He backed away.

  “He just came to apologize.”

  “I don’t care why he was here,” he snapped. “Now he needs to leave.”

  Jace stumbled to his feet.

  Ash punched him again, sending him to the ground. “Don’t. Come. Back.”

  “Ash.” I gave him a firm look. “Stop.”

  He stepped back, the murder still in his eyes.

  I walked to Jace but didn’t touch him. “Now go before I can’t hold him back any longer.”

  He climbed to his feet then wiped the blood from his face. Then he headed to the stairs.

  “Jace.”

  He looked at me.

  “Don’t come back.”

  He nodded then headed down the stairs, disappearing from my life forever.

  Ash came to me, his hands still clenched into fists. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine.”

  He cupped my face and looked into my eyes. “What did he want?”

  “Just to apologize.” I decided not to tell him what else he said. It was irrelevant anyway.
/>
  “Did he touch you?”

  “No.”

  “Because I’ll kill him if he did.”

  “I know.” I believed him. “I’m okay. And he won’t bother me again.”

  He released the air from his lungs. “Okay.” Without another word, he walked back to his apartment.

  I thought that was a little sudden, but I walked back inside my apartment anyway. Maybe he was too upset to be around me right now. I sat on the couch and processed everything that just happened.

  Ash opened the door, carrying all his books and his computer. “I’m studying here. If that shithead comes back I’ll be ready for him.”

  He wouldn’t, but if the possibility made Ash stay here then I wouldn’t deny it. “Okay.”

  He set everything down on the coffee table and opened his books.

  I sat beside him then snuggled into his side, just happy to be near him. He pulled a book on his lap then highlighted a few notes. I leaned my head on his shoulder and enjoyed the comfortable silence.

  Just sitting with Ash was more exciting than my entire relationship with Jace.

  My grandmother smirked when she watched my face. “Someone’s in love…”

  My face became redder. “Is it that obvious?”

  “It’s either that or he knows how to use a butt plug.”

  My eyes widened. “Nana!”

  She laughed. “Sorry, I just finished the Fifty Shades trilogy so chains and handcuffs are on my mind.”

  “Of all books why did you have to download that one?”

  She shrugged. “It’s popular and everyone keeps talking about it.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Ash and I aren’t into that stuff.”

  “Maybe you will when vanilla sex gets old.”

  I covered my face and shook my head.

  “Seriously, how is it going with him?”

  “Wonderful.” I released the air from my lungs. “More than wonderful. He’s great.”

  She smiled. “You’re glowing. It didn’t take long for you to fall in love again.”

  “No, to fall in love for the first time. Being with Ash makes me realize how fake my relationship with Jace was. Now I don’t blame him for cheating on me. There was nothing there anyway.”

  “It sounds like you’re rewriting history.”

  “All I know is my relationship with Ash was nothing like the one I had with Jace.”

  “Does he know you love him?”

  “No…”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s too soon. We’ve only been together for a month or so.”

  “But you were dating far before that, at least Ash’s story seems that way.”

  “No…we were just friends.”

  “You remember when he changed the oil of your truck? And when he had your battery replaced?”

  “Yeah…”

  “He missed two exams because of that. And he lost his clinical hours too.”

  What…? He did that? “He never told me.”

  “I’m sure he didn’t want you to feel bad for him. He was in love with you a long time ago.”

  “Did he say that?”

  “Not exactly. But it’s pretty clear.”

  Did he love me?

  “I would tell him, Alaska. If he’s the man you love, you shouldn’t be afraid to admit it.”

  But was that too soon? What if he didn’t feel the same way and I chased him away? Made him feel uncomfortable?

  “Alaska, we need to talk. I already spoke with your sister yesterday, but now it’s your turn.”

  I didn’t like the sound of that. “Why are you talking to us separately?”

  “Because you both have very different needs.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Okay…”

  “The doctors said the swelling in my leg isn’t decreasing. They’ve tried everything to remove the cloth without invasive measures. Medication and therapy aren’t effective, and if it isn’t taken care of, it could move to my lungs or my heart and have fatal consequences.”

  My heart was beating a million times per second. “Then what do we do?”

  “Surgery is my only option.”

  I didn’t like the sound of that. “Are you sure there’s nothing else you can do? Maybe you should wait a little longer for the clot to go away on its own.”

  “Alaska, I’ve been in this hospital for almost eight months. I’m not going to live like this anymore.”

  It sounded like she already made up her mind. “You want to do the surgery?”

  She nodded.

  “Is it dangerous?”

  “All surgeries are dangerous, but the mortality rate is very low. I should be fine. It’s a routine procedure.”

  That made me feel better. “If this is an easy solution, why didn’t you decide to do it before?”

  She was quiet for a while. “The doctors want to avoid invasive procedures as much as possible. But they know they can’t any longer. And if I have to lay in this bed any longer, I’m going to read more erotica and you’ll be stuck listening to it.”

  I smirked. “You’ll make my ears bleed.”

  “Have you and Ash done the deed?”

  My Nana was practically my mom. I told her almost everything. She knew when I had my first kiss, my first boyfriend, and when I lost my virginity. Besides, she was shrewd and observant. It was impossible to hide anything from her. “No.”

  She raised her eyebrows. “I’m surprised.”

  “I wanted to—twice—but he didn’t. He says he wants to take things slow, make sure I’m ready.”

  “He’s such a fine man. I couldn’t have picked a better husband for you.”

  I smiled. “You really like him?”

  “Honey, I love him. He’s hard and tough like a man who’s experienced more loss than a young person should, but he’s youthful and optimistic. He pretends he doesn’t care only because he cares too much.”

  “I’m guessing he didn’t tell you he used to be the biggest manwhore in the world?”

  “He mentioned it. But I think he just needed the right girl to change his ways. And if you ask me, that makes him even better. He isn’t deceitful and says exactly what he wants. You never have to be afraid of him lying to you. You only need to fear how much the truth will hurt you.”

  “I feel like you know him better than I do.”

  “We spent a lot of time together.”

  I leaned back in the chair and watched the monitor. “When is this surgery planned?”

  “We haven’t picked a day. But soon.”

  “How does Ash feel about it?”

  She was quiet for a long time. “He’s not my physician anymore.”

  “He’s not?”

  “No. His rotation moved him to emergency medicine.”

  “So, he doesn’t know about the surgery?”

  She fell quiet again. “He’s aware of it.”

  What did that mean?

  “Now, what did you bring me to eat?”

  I grabbed the Tupperware of lasagna and handed it to her. “It’s vegetarian.”

  She picked up her fork and dug in. “It’s good. I’m sure Ash is glad he has a woman who can cook.”

  “He appreciates it.”

  “He’s a good man, Alaska. Don’t let him go.”

  I didn’t plan on it. “I won’t.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Ash

  I wasn’t looking forward to dinner with my parents. The fact they didn’t invite Livia told me they wanted to discuss my future in medicine. My dad probably wanted to give me insights to residency in surgery, and my mom would be there to increase the pressure.

  “Is there something wrong?” Alaska asked while we lay in bed.

  “I’m just…annoyed.”

  “Did I do something?” She was wearing my t-shirt and boxers, looking like a wet dream.

  “No.” I turned on my side and gripped her waist. “I’m having dinner with my parents tomorrow night.”

  “If y
ou loathe them so much why do you spend time with them?”

  I sighed. “They’re my parents…”

  “Are you…going to tell them about us?”

  I looked into her eyes. “Yeah, I am. They aren’t going to like you and they’re going to be dicks about it, but I don’t care. But I’d rather tell them when you aren’t around so you don’t have to deal with their shit.”

  “But they don’t even know me…”

  ‘They don’t care. They want to know if you’re from a wealthy family and you’re getting a proper education. Since you have neither you’re automatically banned.”

  She sighed sadly. “If they’re never going to accept me then…”

  “Don’t even go there. If they disrespect you in any way after I tell them, I’ll turn my back on them and never speak to them again. I can put up with their shit, but I’ll make sure you never have to.”

  “I don’t want you to lose your family because of me.”

  “You are my family.”

  Her eyes softened when she looked at me in the darkness.

  I cupped her face and kissed her gently. “You’re everything to me. I can live without my family but I can’t live without you.”

  Her breathing increased at my words. I’d wanted to tell her I loved her for a while, but I wasn’t sure if she felt the same. What if it was too soon? What if it scared her? Jace showed up on her doorstep the other day and complicated things. I’m sure seeing his appearance brought back a lot of painful memories. Now wasn’t the best time to tell her my deepest feelings. But honestly, if she didn’t know already she was completely blind.

  She snuggled closer to me. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You were such a jerk in the beginning, but that makes you even better.”

  “You like the fact I was an ass?”

  “I like the fact you’re only not an ass to me.”

  I ran my fingers through her hair.

  “My grandmother told me something interesting today…”

  “What did that wise woman say?”

  “They you skipped two of your exams just to help me…and you lost clinical hours because of it.”

  Damn, I was caught.

  She sat up and looked at me. “Is that true?”

  I couldn’t lie. “Yeah.”

  Her lips pressed together tightly, the emotion filled her eyes. “You did that for me?”

  “You’re more important than anything, Alaska. And that was true even if we weren’t together.”