That’s the natural process of forming your system for conduct of life. You observe what’s going on around you (peppy mom, calm dad), interpret that data (I want to be like dad, so I’ll be tranquil), and act according to the results of your analysis.
I’m the most religious person in my family. When I was seventeen, I found a church community and felt a calling to join it. Theoretically, I was a Christian, a Catholic, but I didn’t really feel it. I was learning almost everything from scratch—prayers, reading the Bible, and so on. I inherited this very weak bond with God from my parents. I remember when I was trying to explain my conversion to my mom, she said something like, “Yes, I know, God is somewhere far away, and we are here on our own.”
That was her personal philosophy regarding religion and spiritual life. With such a belief system, it’s not strange she didn’t pass faith on to me. You cannot give something you don’t have. With this conviction, she didn’t pray. Why should she? God was far away and left her on her own. In her mind, it was like trying to be heard by shouting through the ocean. Hopeless.
My sisters also inherited our mother’s philosophy, more or less. They hadn’t the strong experience I had (joining a church community) to change or challenge their worldview. My personal philosophy shifted a bit with my church community experience. And I not only think but act differently than my relatives in the realm of religion.
You can absolutely use the same process of attitude osmosis, this time through the use of intellect, which will accelerate the whole process. And it’s the only way it can be done. New elements of philosophy, new ideas, new attitudes must come through the guard you have put up around you. They must be let in; they can’t conquer you. Your internal fortress is your last stronghold. It’s your essence. Your whole being stems from it. New ideas can only be allowed in and adopted as a part of its walls. If they conquer you by force, they will triumph only on the smoky ruins of your old self. Such subjugation equals madness.
That’s one of the reasons you resist change and especially the change in your internal composure regarding your personal philosophy. You are stable and you don’t want to get mad.
Knowledge Items:
- Even the most successful philosophy belonging to someone else is not able to transform your life.
- Attitude osmosis is a natural process, which you can accelerate through the use of intellect.
Choosing New Beliefs
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“Ignorance is not bliss.”
― Jim Rohn
A few months ago, my friend asked me how I maintain my inhuman consistency. I replied via her blog post and while writing it, I realized that many beliefs have “sneaked” into my personal philosophy. I didn’t plan it that way. It just happened because I changed my data sources, met new people, and worked hard on my spiritual and personal development, which led to a drastic transformation in the internal interpretation of my experiences.
Starting from that blog post, I did reverse engineering to discover how my personal philosophy had transmuted. It led me to writing this book. I believe you can have more control over this process than I had. That’s why I’ll provide you with dozens of pieces of successful people’s philosophies. You can absorb them all or just the chosen ones. You can adopt them one by one or all at once (if possible). Or you can just let the natural process of philosophy osmosis change your worldview the way mine has changed: by consciously choosing who you interact with, what you read, watch, and listen to, and by journaling.
Knowing these successful bits in advance will accelerate your progress. They are not universally right; they are just most common among people who have achieved a lot in their lives. When you read biographies of entrepreneurs or books written by them, you recognize this effortlessly. They don’t unanimously eulogize perseverance, integrity, courage, or decisiveness, but the majority of them do. So those blocks are not universal for success, but they are a close approximation of a universal success philosophy. This is indicated by a multitude of successful individuals over thousands of years, and across different cultural backgrounds. Quite solid evidence if you ask me.
It’s unlikely that you can craft your own philosophy with some totally new approach not based on those success blocks. Too many people utilized them with great effect to ignore them. They are common simply because they work. They use the laws that govern the material world, spiritual world, and human society.
Some of those philosophy pieces may be not suitable for you. Breaking relationships in the name of progress is not for me, for example. But most of them are good for you, because they are the distilled wisdom of thousands of people who applied them successfully. Don’t dismiss them too readily. Regard them carefully, weigh your options rigorously, and discard them only after thoughtful consideration. Because some of them should be discarded by you. A universal formula for success doesn’t exist or we would all already be successful. You need to find your own path, in accordance with your deepest values, beliefs, and life experiences. If something just doesn’t feel right for you, no matter how you wrap your mind around the concept, don’t use it. Don’t try to force the change. Force causes resistance.
The grand goal is to rebuild your personal philosophy. The immediate one is to make those chosen elements a part of it. You can only make that happen if they are true for you. Borrowing them won’t cut the mustard. You must adopt them. However, if you go through the list and discard most of the elements—“that’s stupid,” “oh, it can’t be the truth,” “that sounds like naive thinking,” “it’s not like me,” “that surely won’t work in my case”—beware! It may be just your old, messy philosophy in action. Part of personal philosophy is interpretation. You already have some interpretation subroutines established. Considering that the results you get in life are far from perfect, it is quite possible that those subroutines are far from perfect too. Be mindful of this fact.
Using those success blocks doesn’t automatically make you a success. It just increases your chances significantly. You can meticulously develop perseverance, determination, integrity, and resourcefulness, but ignore how important tracking is for success and steadily head in the wrong direction for years.
Those statements don’t have to feel like dogma. Well, very likely they don’t, if they aren’t part of your recent philosophy now. However, if they feel true enough for you to give them a chance, that’s enough. If a given sentence sounds to you like utter hogwash, don’t try to accommodate it into your worldview right now. The internal resistance caused by cognitive incongruence will be too high to profit from this “success rule.” You will spend more energy on adopting this belief or trait than receiving it in the form of results. Wait. Adopt other beliefs. Work on your input sources and interpretation. Go back to the list in a month or six months and examine your attitude once again.
Another handy criteria is, “Do I really want to make it part of me for the rest of my life?” Your personal philosophy is really part of you, something at your core that determines who you become and what actions you undertake. When you let some new piece of philosophy into your internal fortress, it will affect your life in a very serious way going forward. It will probably stay with you for the rest of your life. So, don’t just choose something that sounds cool. Pick up only those blocks from the list that you feel may be integrated with your being without long-term damage.
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“What, then, will anyone gain by winning the whole world and forfeiting his life?” - Mt. 16:26
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The list in the following chapter is an appendix to this book. There is more than one way to skin a cat, but there are only a handful that are most effective. If you are going to achieve success in any area, you are bound to be equipped with traits and beliefs in common with the successful people known throughout history.
Don’t rush the process of picking and adopting these “success blocks.” The biggest mistake you can make is to skim through them and pick them more or less at random. You mark t
his activity as done and never go back to the exercise. It’s a mistake I made over and over again with some potentially useful personal development stuff. I know a guy who claims that Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins has changed his life, to the point where he earns seven figures and is very happy with his life. I read the same book about eighteen years ago and I’m (sadly) no millionaire. I enjoyed the book a lot and I made some immediate changes in my life because of it. But I remember that each time there was some exercise in the book I skipped “for later” (read: never) or did it hastily, without much reflection. My life didn’t transform then and the changes I introduced fizzled out in less than a year.
Your horizon will expand with the development of your personal philosophy. You will open up to new ideas and concepts. Don’t be afraid to refer to this list again and again. Come back to it in a week, a month, or a year and you will find other nuggets hidden there, as your perspective will shift.
If your current philosophy stands in the way of accepting these bits of wisdom, take a step back and work on expanding the more “technical” aspects of changing your philosophy—using new data sources and meeting new people. As long as you persist, the shift in your perspective is unavoidable. These disciplines must bear fruit. It’s the law of nature.
Action items:
- Go mindfully through the success blocks enumerated in the next chapter and pick some you would like to incorporate in your life.
- Find a way to refer to them every day (stick them to your fridge, record them and listen to them on your mobile phone, ruminate on them in your journal, etc.)
- If you don’t find the list below compelling, go through the quotes of a few successful people you admire and pick several of their “success blocks.” Refer to them daily.
Philosopher’s Stepping Stones
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Time
Success is a process, not a destination.
You are bound to work for the rest of your life. Even if you reach a certain level of success, the world won’t stop at that place.
People are incapable of enjoying the same state for an extended period of time.
Time is your only asset; anything else is just a function of time.
Every action gives results; sometimes it’s experience, sometimes feedback, sometimes the output you desired. It’s never in vain.
Your body will accompany you to the end.
You will die.
You will live in the memory of others.
The fruits of your work may serve others long after you are dead.
Each of your past experiences may be used to your advantage; each of them helped to shape who you are now.
You don’t know your hour. Use each minute to its fullest.
Work on your important goals every day.
You can only act now; the past is settled, the future is still undefined.
Your past is not equal to your future.
You can do only one thing at a time; choose wisely which one.
Discipline is choosing between what you want now and what you want most.
People
Providing value is at the core of being rewarded; providing value to people is the most profitable.
People are the most important; respect them, serve them, love them.
Your family is a microcosm and reflects your inner world and your potential achievements in wider society.
Humans are interconnected.
As long as you feel you are serving others, you will do the job well.
Do to others what you would like to be done to you.
Every human is a child of God.
Every human is your brother or sister.
Who you become is more important than what you have.
Who someone else is, is more important than what he has.
Real success doesn’t happen at the expense of others.
When a man works, he not only alters things and society, he develops himself as well. He learns much, he cultivates his resources, he goes outside of himself and beyond himself. Rightly understood, this kind of growth is of greater value than any external riches that can be garnered. A man is more precious for what he is than for what he has.
Character
Courage is not the absence of fear; it’s acting against the fear.
You can, you should, and if you’re brave enough to start, you will.
You should only fear that you won’t measure up to your standards.
A comfort zone is a comfort pit.
Growth costs and hurts. The price of staying in place is exponentially higher.
If you think you have all the answers, you’d better look for different questions.
Your habits determine your net worth.
The wicked people and fools both get what they deserve. The fools get it earlier.
Ask the questions.
If you seek, you will find.
Do what you say you are going to do.
Don’t lie.
Keep your promises.
Walk your talk.
Keep your body in good shape; it’s your support system.
Smile at everybody and everywhere.
If you quit, you won’t reach your goal.
The only failure is in not trying.
When your philosophy is right, then your consistency is right, too.
Do it until you achieve it.
Not everything is attainable. But nothing is attainable when you do nothing.
The patient man can always afford to wait.
You won’t break if you bend.
Spirituality
If you don’t believe in something beyond the matter, you are limiting yourself to “just” the human level.
Be grateful for everything.
Practice gratitude.
Only love is rewarded in Heaven.
You don’t belong to yourself. You are created.
Your role is to develop your humanity to the highest standards you are capable of.
Development requires attention to the spiritual life, a serious consideration of the experiences of trust in God, spiritual fellowship in Christ, reliance upon God’s providence and mercy, love and forgiveness, self-denial, acceptance of others, justice and peace.
The social order and its development must invariably work to the benefit of the human if the disposition of affairs is to be subordinate to the personal realm and not to the contrary.
Attitude
You are responsible for everything in your life.
Accept that you will be learning for the rest of your life.
Keep a journal.
I don’t feel the best every day, but I’m gonna bring the best.
Guard your speech.
Read books.
Learn continually.
Mind over matter.
Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.
Dream, visualize, use a vision board.
Write down your goals.
Tracking is the foundation of growth.
To increase your chances of success, double your ratio of failures.
Motivation doesn’t last. That’s why it’s recommended daily.
Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.
Your personal philosophy is the greatest determining factor in how your life works out.
Progress is your duty.
Follow the right people.
Mimic successful people.
You can hedge. Just think it over twice.
Apply Your New Philosophy
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“Numbers are the name of the game.”
― Jim Rohn
You don’t need more details or more knowledge to develop your personal philosophy. You need to start implementing what you’ve learned or just refreshed in your mind. I could go into more detailed instructions, but it would be highly repetitive and it’s already insistent enough. Besides, all the instructions won’t help much if you d
on’t apply them. You are the main architect of your personal philosophy. You need to decide where to start and with what level of intensity. You must choose success blocks appropriate to your situation. So, no more preaching on my part, just a quick rehearsal.
Why work on your personal philosophy?
Because it determines almost every output in your life. No school, no trainer, no coach, no book, no personal development program, no info product can transform your life without your cooperation. Unfortunately, this factor seems to be overlooked. Academies, coaches, and gurus are focused far too much on providing an incentive to pay them rather than giving you an incentive to get results. They give promises and 30-day guarantees for your revolution, but fail to supervise the process of implementing this revolution.
But once you develop the right personal philosophy, you will get more clarity about whether or not any given program is for you, whether or not you are willing to pay the price in time investment and sacrifices, not just in money. And you will be able to implement almost anything you decide is worth pursuing.
You can change and you can change rapidly, but it will cost you. You can revolutionize your personal philosophy quickly, but in order to do it you need to revolutionize your life. Your current philosophy has been forming for years; you need extraordinary measures to rebuild it quickly. But you can examine yourself, and target traits, concepts and beliefs that stand in your way. Then you can chisel away at them and develop good routines one by one. You will accelerate the natural process of reshaping your philosophy by applying your awareness, attention, and focus.
Start by changing your data sources. Examine the inputs you are exposed to in your everyday life. Check how much time you spend watching TV and on YouTube. Check the social media you use. How much do you read and what kind of materials. Are they books, magazines, or short stories? What kind of books—pop fiction or non-fiction? And so on.
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