Then her own door opened and she got out into the heat of the afternoon, glad to walk into the shade of the palace and even more pleased when she was finally alone in her room.
More bereft than she’d ever felt, although she missed her sister, as always, her thoughts went to her mother. What would she have suggested she do? Destiny dug her teeth into her bottom lip in a bid to stop the tears falling. She wouldn’t let Zafir’s sudden coldness shatter her into pieces. She was stronger than that. Life had made her stronger.
In an attempt to feel close to her mother, she opened her wardrobe and pulled out her bag, then the small box she kept her mother’s diary in. Just as she always did, she smoothed her fingers over the top of the box, then opened it and touched the diary which lay within. It was the last true connection she had with who she really was and she’d been so glad she’d found it hidden away at the back of her mother’s wardrobe.
She turned to the usual page she read and traced her finger over the flowing words.
I thought I’d found my forever love in the man I married and now I don’t know what to do. We have a beautiful daughter who was my destiny and another child on the way, but his affection is growing cold and I feel now his love for me never existed.
Carefully, Destiny closed the diary and placed it back in the box and buried it in her bag once more. Her mother had wanted love but never really found it. Dwelling on the past wasn’t going to help her now. Sleep, however, would, she decided, and lay on the bed, allowing its softness to cradle her, to soothe her as she closed her eyes.
When sleep came it was filled with images of the Sheikh she’d lost her heart to, the man she wanted above all others—the man she couldn’t have.
It was dark when she woke, only a soft glow from a small lamp illuminating the room. Destiny sat up, feeling more emotionally drained than she had before she’d slept. On the table she noticed covered dishes and realised Mina must have been in with her meal and left her to sleep, but she wasn’t hungry.
She felt trapped like an animal in a cage and had to get out of her room. She craved the warm night air on her skin as if it would salve her wounds after Zafir’s aloofness this afternoon, which had been as good as rejection after her admission that she wanted him. She should never have said those words when they were riding in the desert. She should never have opened her heart, laying bare her emotions and needs for him to discard like yesterday’s newspaper.
She wandered out into the peace of the palace garden, now almost in darkness except for the twinkle of small lights along the pathways. The night air was laden with scents from the strange and exotic flowers and above her the sky looked like velvet interspersed with sequins. It was magical and she stood looking up beyond the smooth cream walls of the palace at a night sky unlike any other she’d seen before.
A skitter of warmth ran down her spine and she was sure she could sense Zafir behind her. Did she want him that much? Yes. The unbidden answer came.
She could almost feel his touch on her shoulder, his hand lingering there, sending a frisson of heat to every part of her body, and she closed her eyes as his unmistakable scent enveloped her. Was he really here? Had he risked all protocol to come to her? Was this to be their night?
‘Destiny.’ His deep voice, so sexy, so seductive, proved she wasn’t imagining anything.
She didn’t dare speak, not wanting to break the spell by turning to him, almost afraid that if her imagination had conjured him up, as soon as she opened her eyes she would be alone. And she didn’t want to be alone. She wanted to be with Zafir tonight. She wanted to be his, completely and totally, as the hours of darkness lay over the palace.
Then she felt him against her back, as he wrapped her in his arms, pulling her closer to him, his breath feathering her ear. ‘I had to come.’ His hoarse whisper broke the soft silence that enveloped them. ‘I shouldn’t want you, I can’t want you, but I do.’
He kissed her neck and she leant her head back against him, allowing him more access. A shiver of anticipation darted around her body as his lips touched every bit of naked skin on her neck.
‘Neither of us should want this, but we do.’ Her words were a ragged whisper as her heart thudded in her chest. She wanted to turn to him, to press her lips against his, but at the same time couldn’t break the tenuous contact they now shared. ‘Let’s just forget the rest of the world for a few hours, forget everything except what we feel now.’
His kisses stilled and she felt his chest expanding against her back with every deep breath he took. Had she said too much—again?
‘I want to forget it all,’ he said and pressed his lips into her hair, inhaling deeply as if taking in her scent. ‘I want you in a way I’ve never wanted a woman before, but I can’t be like other men. I have a duty to my country.’
‘Just for these hours of darkness,’ she whispered and opened her eyes to look once again at the stars. ‘That’s all we need, Zafir, just the one night.’
It was all she knew she could have and the fact that he asked nothing of her only made it easier for her. He expected nothing and therefore there wouldn’t be any demands on her. She was safe, in control.
Her eyes widened as she heard the growled oath slip from him. Even though she didn’t understand it, excitement raced through her as suddenly he spun her round to face him, his hands holding her arms firmly. She wanted this in a way she’d never wanted anything before and right now she was sure she was the one in control, not only of her emotions but him.
‘You are like a witch. You’ve cast a spell on me and I’m powerless to resist you.’
‘Then don’t.’
Zafir’s eyes were heavy and black with unconcealed passion. His face was as stern as it had ever been, as if he was wrestling with his conscience. Destiny felt desirable. No man had ever made her body ache so badly with need, so wantonly. Somewhere in the back of her mind a warning rang out but she wasn’t in the mood to listen to anything other than the singing of her body as he looked at her. She didn’t want to heed anything other than the pulse of desire coming from deep within her. She wanted to be his, she wanted tonight—regardless of what tomorrow would bring.
She reached up to stroke the hard angles of his jaw, desire coursing through her as her fingers touched that so perfect stubble. She wanted to give herself to him. A man who freely admitted he couldn’t give her what she wanted. A man who represented everything she was trying to escape, one who sought complete and utter control.
With the speed of a falcon swooping on its prey, Zafir’s lips claimed hers in a hard demanding kiss. His tongue plunged into her mouth, demanding and erotic. She couldn’t believe the flirtatious groan she made, a sound like no other she’d heard before, but she wanted this—wanted him.
In answer his hand splayed on her back, pressing her into him, and she felt the hard ridge of his erection as her hips moved against his, forcing the flames of desire higher still. Her hands wound around his neck, determined that this time he wouldn’t go, wouldn’t leave her with that unquenched throb of need humming in her body. Her fingers delved into his thick hair, relishing its silky strength.
‘This is too much...’ His voice broke with huskiness before he kissed her once more, his hand sliding up her body, cupping the fullness of her breast as his tongue once again took up a frenzied dance with hers.
It was mind-blowing and she could hardly stand as the pleasure of his touch made her knees weak. She gasped into his mouth as his thumb caressed her tightened nipple, the silk of her abaya and the lace of her bra hardly any barrier at all. But still it wasn’t enough, still she wanted more. So much more.
She forced herself to push away from him, finding it hard to catch her breath or even hear herself think above the pounding of her heart. Emotions and sensations she’d never known, never dared to hope to experience were in full control of her now. The inexperienced woman who’d left England was gone.
With a shy smile she slipped her hand into his and led the way to her sui
te of rooms. His fingers tightened around hers as he followed, giving her all the encouragement she needed.
Walking into the dimly lit room was startling after the near darkness of the garden and she felt him hesitate, draw back and stay on the threshold. He looked into her face, his expression questioning. Was he regretting coming to her?
‘What is it?’
‘This is all I can give, this night.’ The warning there was clear, but so too was the sexy huskiness, giving her the confidence to be someone so different from the woman she’d always been. The last thing she wanted him to think was that she was an inexperienced lover and she definitely didn’t want him to know she was a virgin.
‘I know,’ she said softly, meeting his gaze and tilting her chin up, emboldened by the desire in his eyes. ‘I know.’
CHAPTER SIX
ZAFIR LOOKED AT her lovely face and felt as if an arrow had lodged in his chest. Destiny had turned his world upside down, making him take a long hard look at himself, at his life, but still it hadn’t changed anything. He wanted her, wanted to be able to change everything so he could be with her for more than just a few snatched hours. But it could never be. Not when duty remained the most important thing in his life, the one thing he could not ignore.
Whatever happened between them, he was still the ruler of Kezoban, a ruler without a wife or heir because of his reluctance to commit. After Tabinah’s death, that sense of duty was stronger than ever. He’d forced his sister into an arranged marriage and now he would do the same, but only after being with Destiny. Tonight would be theirs.
‘It was by chance that our worlds collided, that we met in England—a chance that has given us this night.’ He had to be sure she knew there could never be a repeat of this night and that nobody must know. ‘Tomorrow...’
‘I know, Zafir,’ she whispered and moved closer to him, her eyes darkening to the colour of strong coffee. ‘I know you have a new life to move on to, that nobody in the palace can know.’
‘It is for your sake as much as mine.’ He kept his voice firm, even as desire stirred ever higher. Did she have any idea how beguiling she looked, how seductive? But there was something else; despite the boldness of her actions, an underlying innocence shone through and he wondered just how practised at seduction she was.
She pressed her fingertip to his lips, jolting him with the intensity of that touch, chasing away such thoughts. ‘Please don’t say any more.’
He kissed her finger gently, then turned and closed the door to the garden before taking her hand and leading her across the vast expanse of marble that was her living room and through to the luxury of the bedroom.
He could smell her seductive scent, light and floral, making him think of England in the summertime, but also reminding him who she was and that making love to a woman in his palace was something he’d never done before. Did that mean she was different? He squashed that thought and focused his attention on the present, the moment he’d tried to avoid but had longed for so strongly for the last two weeks. Making Destiny his—for one night at least.
* * *
Destiny’s gaze met his and she saw his doubt, his uncertainty briefly before the smouldering darkness of passion filled his eyes once more.
She wasn’t sure who had moved, but suddenly she was in his arms, exactly where she wanted to be. She slid her hands down his back, loving the feel of his firm body as his lips kissed down her throat. His hands cradled her breasts, now achingly firm and sensitive as she arched herself towards him.
Anticipation sizzled between them as his mouth covered hers, teasing and light at first, then hot and demanding. She kissed him back, matching his hunger and deepening the kiss until she thought she would pass out.
He lifted his head up, taking his kiss out of reach, and she found herself looking at the dark skin of his throat, noticing the dusting of hairs. She’d been so consumed by need for him, she hadn’t realised he was dressed casually in beige trousers and a white shirt made of the finest silk, embroidered with gold as befitting his status.
She smiled at the thought of seeing the man beneath his robes, as he was now and as she really wanted to see him. Had his chosen outfit been a way of coming to her as Zafir the man and not Zafir the Sheikh, the ruler of Kezoban? Right now she didn’t care, didn’t want to question. He was here and tonight she would be his.
‘Something amuses you?’ he questioned, his voice deep and regal as he held her away from him, watching her face intently.
‘I was wondering if removing your robes would be as easy as what you’re wearing now.’ She stifled a nervous laugh, realising she’d never teased a man like this before, her experience of intimacy having been less than limited, more like non-existent. Unwilling to allow a man close, she’d given all her devotion to horses. Zafir was the only man who had breached the barrier she’d purposefully erected, made her want more, made her want to experience all the pleasure of making love—even if it was for just one night.
Her gaze slid down his body. Imagining him in his robes, she was aware that if tonight was all they had she’d never find out how to remove them. She pushed that thought to the back of her mind. Just being here, beneath his appreciative gaze, was so far removed from anything she’d done before. The heat of the desert must have changed her, made her a more wanton and passionate woman, one she’d had no idea she could be.
‘It is as well that I can discard your abaya with ease,’ he said and brushed a kiss on her lips, tasting them and sending heat racing through her body.
She tried not to think of how many times he might have done just that, tried to push aside all thoughts of the women who’d been in his life, desperately wanting to stay in the moment, to savour every touch, every sensation of being desired by him.
Instead she pressed her body against his, wanting more than just kisses. She felt again the burning hardness of his body, and heat unfurled deep within her. With a soft sigh, she gave herself up to instincts she’d never known she possessed, moving her hips against him.
Swiftly he pushed against her, giving her no choice but to move backwards towards the bed. His breathing was deep and ragged, echoing her own, as the back of her legs met the bed and she dropped back onto its softness.
Zafir covered her body with his as he took her mouth in a hard and wild kiss. She could feel the fierce intensity of his passion, his lips bruising hers, but she wanted more. Despite the clothing they still wore, she was in no doubt how much he wanted her and with each passing second she thought she might go up in flames.
She wanted him. It felt wrong yet so right. The only thing that was as clear as a star-filled night was that she needed him so very much. She wanted him to be the first man she made love to.
Her nails dug into his back as he kissed down her throat and she arched beneath him. His hand slid down her side, resting on her hip.
‘Zafir...’ She gasped his name as his tongue caressed her nipple through the silk of her abaya. It felt so good. ‘I want you, Zafir.’
She reached down between their bodies, wanting to touch him. She fumbled with the fastening on his trousers, revelling in the guttural growl that escaped his lips as she touched him through the fabric, feeling the heat of him. She’d never undressed a man before, let alone touched one like this, but the fire in her veins emboldened her. She was acting on instinct that had lain dormant within her, waiting for him. Finally the fastening gave way and she felt the silk of his underwear, now barely able to conceal him.
He moved suddenly back away from her, bracing himself over her on the bed before lying beside her. All the while his gaze remained fixed firmly on hers, sending shivers of anticipation hurtling all over her. Her heart thumped a little harder when he pulled a foil packet from his pocket and she was shocked it was a consideration she hadn’t given even a moment’s thought to.
‘Before we go any further...’ His voice had become a deep husky growl which sent pleasure skittering down her spine and she watched in awe and even a little t
repidation as he swiftly rolled on the condom.
His dark eyes held hers prisoner as his hand slid her abaya up her thighs and he hooked his fingers into her lace panties. She shivered in anticipation and lifted herself up from the bed, enabling him to tug them down. His eyes were laden with desire as he smiled. It was a small smile that barely lifted the corners of his beautiful mouth, but one which sent molten heat coursing through her as he tossed the panties to the floor.
With his dark eyes fixed to hers he moved back between her legs, urgency in every movement, so much so that only the barriers of underwear had been removed. She panicked. Would he be disappointed? Would he know how little experience she’d had? She moved her hips up towards him, surrendering herself to the needs of her body. She felt him touch her, nudging insistently, before thrusting deep inside her.
She gasped as he filled her, and closed her eyes against the sudden pain. She couldn’t stop another gasp from escaping, one mostly of satisfaction at having him inside her, of being possessed by him. Momentarily he paused and she felt his whole body shake as he looked down at her.
‘Please, Zafir,’ she said and wondered if that throaty sound had actually come from her, but already her desire was taking over as she lifted her hips, encouraging him.
In answer to her body’s plea he moved within her, setting up a fast rhythm which threatened to sweep her far away. It felt so good, so right.
She clung to him, moving her hips faster and deepening every thrust into her he made. It was exquisite. She felt as if she were on the edge of a cliff, barely able to balance. She wanted to fall, wanted to give in to the pleasure of it, yet wanted to enjoy the moment of being with him for just a few seconds longer.
His arms shook as he balanced himself above her and she slid her hands inside his shirt, moving them across his back, desperate to feel his skin. Each move he made took her closer to the edge until she knew she had no choice. She couldn’t hold on any longer. She had to go over. Her head fell back as she gasped in pleasure at the sensations rushing through her. He cried out, thrusting hard and deep into her, sending her over the edge until she no longer cared where she was, just as long as she was with Zafir.
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