by Schulte, Liz
My head lulled back as every last drop of darkness flowed from them into me. One by one, they too dropped to the floor. My inner vampire relaxed, tired and satisfied. I took slow deep breaths, enjoying every sensation that passed through me. It was such a rare thing to be tired and completely satisfied. I had to enjoy it while I had the chance.
Baker came up, nudging one of the bodies with his shoe. “You’re the Real McCoy. I know you said you could do it, but honestly, baby, I didn’t believe it was possible. Will they heal?”
My reply stuck in my throat as I looked down at the dead bodies, guilt quickly smothering the content feeling of a moment ago. I’d killed them. I hadn’t meant to, but I didn’t stop. Why didn’t I stop?
“Hey.” Baker placed his hands on either side of my cheeks and turned my face up to him. “Don’t feel bad about them. Do you have any idea how many humans you probably saved? Not bad for a night’s work.”
I looked into Baker’s sincere eyes. “I don’t like hurting people.”
He looked down at the bodies then back at me. “That’s not what I saw.” His words were a punch in the stomach. “It’s not a bad thing necessarily, Maggie. It’s okay to be who you are. The look on your face and the confidence you had was striking. You were almost larger than life, an avenging angel if you will. Why is that bad?”
“Who am I to judge them?”
He shook his head. “You aren’t judging them. The angel who gave you this ability is. What you do isn’t a vampire trait. I’ve seen vampires feed, and it doesn’t look anything like this. Whatever that angel did when she stopped your transformation, she made you for exactly what you just did. It’s your destiny now. That’s why you are so at peace when you give into it.”
I wanted so much to ignore what I could do and live that precious normal life. Everyone had told me pretty much what Baker had just said, but I resisted, not willing to give up what I had always valued most. I didn’t look down at the bodies again. Instead I held Baker’s gaze, once again considering what he said. “I want to be normal.”
He laughed. “Baby, it’s way too late for that.” He put his arm over my shoulder. “Let’s get outta here.”
Baker and I didn’t talk as we strolled down the sidewalk, his arm over my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around his waist and leaned into him. Our bodies swayed as we moved together, his fingers idly making circles on my arm. There wasn’t any awkwardness with him. In fact, if I closed my eyes, it was like nothing had ever changed. We were still back in my time, only he had never died and I hadn’t had to learn how to move on without him.
“I don’t want to go back to Josephine’s,” I said softly.
We walked for a few more feet before he said, “It’s probably best if I take you there.”
I pulled to a stop and looked up at him. “Take me home, Baker.”
He ran the back of his fingers down my cheek. “That’s what I’m doing, but you’re making it hard to be a gentleman.”
I shook my head. “Not to Josephine’s,” I clarified. “I want to go to your house, to my house.”
His eyebrows shot up. “I gave you my house?”
I couldn’t help but smile at the genuine panic in his voice. “No, Holden did after you died. When you’re ready for it, it will be yours again.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone like you, Maggie.”
They were the exact words I had always wanted to hear from him, but I knew they weren’t true. When we were together, I hadn’t been enough. But in this moment I didn’t care. I wanted to remember what it was like, just one more time, to be Baker’s girl. “Take me home,” I repeated.
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. When we started again, we headed in the opposite direction.
Back at Baker’s house, my heart pounded as he opened the front door. As we walked, I had had plenty of time to rethink my decision to pretend the future wasn’t going to happen, and now it mostly just felt like a mistake. It wasn’t fair to Phoenix, but more importantly, it wasn’t fair to me. It had taken so long to move on from Baker, to even begin to get over him. Why was I going back?
His house was exactly the same. For a man who would live forever, he certainly resisted change. “You do like to keep things the same, don’t you?”
He flipped on a light switch, eyes twinkling. “What do you mean? This is all brand new.” Despite his words I could see he knew exactly what I was talking about. “I take it my house still looks the same when you meet me in the future?”
I nodded. “It might even be the same couch. In fact, it’s amazing how little you adjust to the new time.”
He shook his head. “It’s not as easy as you might think, especially if I don’t start again. If this life I’m in now is continuous to when you know me, I’m not shocked I’m the same. I’ve lived long enough to know that when you find something you like you have to hold onto it because it’s only a matter of time before it’s taken away. Speaking of which,” his arms wrapped around my waist, “I think I’ve found just one of those things.” His lips brushed over my forehead.
“About that,” I took a deep breath, “maybe this is a bad idea.”
Baker studied my face, not letting me go. “We haven’t discussed my price for helping you.”
Swallowing a smile, I tried to give him an impatient look. “What do you want?”
“Well, I’m not gonna lie. The price for my help is steep. I’m going to need a little cash.”
I wrinkled my nose. Was he serious? “What? You want me to give you money?”
His chest moved silently against mine as he laughed. “You got the wrong end of the stick. Cash.” One hand dropped from my waist and came up to tap his lips.
It took a moment for my brain to catch up. “You want me to kiss you?”
“Just one and I’ll walk you home. I think it’s important for historical purposes. Perhaps you just bewitched me in the future or maybe what we had was worth exploring further. Either way, I think I deserve to know what all the fuss is about, especially if you’re going to steal my house.”
I pressed my forehead against his chest as I grinned like an idiot. He always had this effect on me. “I can’t fall in love with you again, Baker.”
“Why not?”
I pulled back so he could see my face and hopefully the truth in what I was about to tell him. “The first time was hard enough. Losing you again…” I shook my head.
He tilted his head to the side. “Again, why not? The way I see it, you don’t have to lose me again. You know more about me than anyone. Maybe the time that we knew each other wasn’t right for us, but this time, right now, I can’t think of a single reason why you shouldn’t stay. Go back to your old life when we catch back up with it.”
My heart pounded so hard, I was sure he could hear it. “You’re telling me to stay here in 1923 with you.”
He nodded slowly. “I can think of worse things than that, can’t you?” He stepped back from me, laced his fingers between mine, and lifted my arms out to my sides. His eyes trailed over my body. Goosebumps spread across my skin, tingling as he unapologetically took me in. The corners of his mouth curled slightly as he lowered himself to the couch, pulling me onto his lap. My eyes fluttered closed as I waited for a kiss that didn’t come.
“Tell me about your life, Maggie.”
“I did.”
He shook his head. “You told me about my life. Tell me about yours. What’s happened since I was reborn? Surely you’ve moved on and that’s why you’re having second thoughts about us.”
I focused on his collar. It was all so tempting. Staying with Baker was exactly what I thought I wanted when it wasn’t an option. Now that it was before me, ready for the taking, the old curse “may you get what you wish for,” played through my head and heart. No matter what I chose now, I was going to lose him. That was a certainty. “You weren’t easy to get over.”
He smiled, but sadness filled his eyes. “But that’s the reality of my life. It
will never change.”
I frowned. “But I will live forever too. That has to make a difference.”
“Only in the duration of time we can spend together. I’m not good for dames like you. If I let you fall in love with me, I’m truly sorry. Believe me when I tell you, if I could have prevented it, I would have, no matter how I felt.” The warmth of his body soaked into mine everywhere we touched. He brushed a piece of hair from my face. “Then again, I don’t usually tell humans about the Abyss, so what do I know? Tell me this, why did I break all of my rules for you, Maggie Edwards, and why do I want to do it again?”
I placed my hand on his cheek, still struggling to believe that this was real and he was actually here with me telling me everything he wouldn’t say to me in the future.
“When you look at me like that, I get the feeling there’s more to this story than what you told me.” His eyes searched mine. “What happened between us? Why do I feel like I did something horribly wrong where you were concerned?”
I bit my lip until the threat of tears passed. “First, tell me why you are no good for someone like me. I’m not going to get old. I’m probably not going to die. I can take care of myself now. You don’t have to protect me. Why?” I pressed my lips together as emotions surged again. Why couldn’t he love me when I would have given everything to him? I couldn’t actually say that, but that was the question my heart needed answered.
“It has nothing to do with any of those things. Actually, it’d be easier if you were a human.” He shrugged. “I’m immortal, but not in the way you are. You will stay exactly as you are. I will die and be reborn as many times as necessary. Each time, I would disappear from your life. I can’t stop it. I can’t control it. I can’t even guarantee that I would come back to you or that if I did I would be worth having.” He shook his head. “I can’t predict where I will end up or how my early life will be. I want to say that it doesn’t affect and influence the person I become for that life, but it does. I have lived lives where you would have fed on me like you did those jinn tonight.”
I understood what he was saying and it made me want to hold onto him even tighter. But I couldn’t ignore the truth between us either. I was a human when we first met and it still hadn’t worked.
His finger smoothed the spot between my eyebrows that had drawn together. “Whatever happened, trust me that it wasn’t you. It completely and absolutely came down to me. I just can’t be the person you deserve.” He hooked his finger under my chin. “Even when I’d really like to be.”
His lips pressed mine, so warm and familiar that I relaxed into the kiss. But it was different now. Or maybe I was different. I didn’t feel the pull toward him that I used to feel. In fact, I found my mind wandering toward Phoenix and missing the way I felt when he touched me, craving the connection we had when my vampire-half bathed in his darkness. For some reason with him I was never tempted to take too much. It was always just a taste, just enough to connect us in a way that brought every part of me to life. Phoenix filled my senses and drowned my inhibitions. It wasn’t only that though. I missed more than how he made me feel. I longed for the way he made me laugh and the way he didn’t tell me what to do. The world and my future always felt wide open with him. He treated me as an equal. In fact, he always had.
Not that kissing Baker was bad. It just wasn’t as good as I remembered it being.
He pulled away with an expression I couldn’t quite place. “I don’t believe you’re in love with me anymore.” Some of the sadness faded from his eyes. “You’ve moved on. I’m glad.”
I was hardly able to believe it. “Yes,” I all but whispered, tempted to apologize, but I stopped myself. I had every right to be happy. “I can’t stay with you. We both have our own lives to live and apparently not together.”
He grinned at me. “Tell me about him. The one who took my place.”
Suddenly I felt shy. I stood up to put distance between us, still marveling at the fact that I was in love with Phoenix. I hadn’t wanted to see it or to admit to it, but there it was. Even Baker couldn’t take his place. Even with a distance of over ninety years between us, where his manipulations couldn’t possibly reach me, I still wanted him more than anyone else.
I had the urge to call him, to go to him immediately, but it wasn’t possible. Not yet. Not until I could get back home. “No,” I said. “I’d like him to be the first one to know that I love him.”
Baker smiled, some of his sadness back, though not nearly as heavy as it had been before. “Then he’s a lucky man. I guess there’s only one thing left to do: let’s get you home.”
Chapter 15
But in the end, I didn’t go back to Josephine’s right away. Baker and I spent the rest of the night practicing mind manipulation. He was an excellent teacher, slow and patient with me as I made mistakes. Though thought and memory manipulation wasn’t a trait he had, he seemed to know plenty about it. After a few hours of practice, I could subtly adjust elements of his short-term memory. He promised if we kept at it, I could wipe the slate clean before I went home, making sure that my time here didn’t affect the future.
Back at Josephine’s, I quietly unlocked the door and slipped inside. I stooped over to remove my shoes. Before I could dash upstairs to my room to change into fresh clothes, Jeanette’s voice came from the doorway of Josephine’s office, stopping me.
“What have you been up to, dear cousin?”
I looked over, cheeks warming. “I couldn’t sleep. I went for a walk.”
Her eyes narrowed as she came a couple steps closer. “You aren’t who you claim to be. I know that. And so does Josephine, but what I can’t figure out is what you have over her that would make her lie to me, her own flesh and blood.”
I shook my head. “I’m not…it isn’t what you think.”
She took a couple menacing steps forward. “If you hurt my sister, I will see that you pay dearly for it. Are we clear?”
I leveled my gaze back at her. “Where did you get the mirror you gave her?”
She blinked. “The mirror?”
“This mirror.” I motioned to the wall.
She frowned. “I don’t see what that has to do with anything.”
“Answer the question,” I said calmly.
Jeanette’s chin lifted slightly. “I can’t remember. I know how that sounds, but I’m not lying. I legitimately can’t recall ever buying the mirror. It was our birthday and it appeared at the table wrapped in the same paper I used on all the other gifts. I assumed I had forgotten buying it and the maid found it and wrapped it with the others. She loved it so much I didn’t see the point of looking into it further.” She glanced away. “It is very difficult to buy Josephine presents.”
I didn’t have any special way to tell if people were lying or telling the truth. I couldn’t hear heartbeats or read their minds. The only thing I had to go on were my feelings about the person and something had felt off about Jeanette from the moment I met her. It didn’t matter that she didn’t like or trust me, I totally deserved that. I was lying to her about who I was, after all. What bothered me most about her was that I had the distinct impression she knew a lot more about what was happening than she let on. She always seemed to be there, lurking around, watching us, and disappearing into shadows.
Only this time I didn’t necessarily think she was lying. Perhaps she wasn’t sharing the whole truth, but surely some of it was honest. She couldn’t fake the guilt that set her eyebrows into a straight worried line or the affection in her voice when she spoke about Josephine.
“You can’t possibly understand the bond that twins share, Miss Edwards. I would do anything for my sister. She is as much a part of me as my own arm.”
I nodded. “You would do anything but tell the truth.”
Jeanette slinked back into the shadows of the dark hallway. “Just know that I am watching you. I will discover who you really are. You can be sure of that.”
I stared into the darkness, still feeling her eyes l
ocked on me long after I was certain she had finally left.
****
“What is our objective for today?” Josephine asked, sitting down at the dining room table where I already had a steaming cup of coffee in front of me.
“We need to find out what we’re up against in the mirror. It’s not easy to hide a body, especially for as long as you stayed missing. Surely someone would have found you by the time we met.”
“Unless there was no body to be found,” she said, the smile falling from her face.
“I thought about this all night. We’ve been approaching things wrong. We’ve been looking for who would want to kill you, rather than how the demon was brought into your life.”
Josephine’s voice was low as she leaned in. “The dream? That’s when I started doing the spell.”
I nodded. “Has Jeanette mentioned having peculiar dreams or anything like that?”
“Not recently.”
Not recently, but she had them. “When? Before or after yours?”
Josephine took a bite of dry toast, looking up toward the ceiling. “I’m not sure I remember. I want to say it was before me, but I might be wrong.”
“Do you know what they were about?”
Drawing in a deep breath, she shook her head. “It was about a man. How does all of this connect?”
“Jeanette was awake when I got home this morning.”
“You were out all night?” The mischievous smile was back. “You and Baker? Tell me everything.”
I shook my head. “Nothing happened. We talked and,” I smiled thinking about Phoenix for a brief moment, “I think I know what I want now.”
“I told you everything you wanted to know about my life. You can do better than a vague answer.”
I gave her a brief rundown about Phoenix and Boone and everything. “But back to the point, Jeanette was awake and, well, she’s suspicious of me, but I’m also positive she’s hiding something. She did mention though that she couldn’t remember where she got the mirror. She said that the present just appeared.”