by Linda Ford
“I love that child as if she was my own, so, no, I’m not prepared to see the end of her.”
“You needn’t think I didn’t mean it when I said I would take her and you’d never see her again.”
“According to the registration, she’s mine and I won’t let you take her.”
Thelma stared at him, her eyes turning almost black with fury. “You’ll regret this. You’ll see.”
She pushed her chair back and marched upstairs, slamming the door hard enough to make the windows shudder.
He stared after her. He’d not let her take Ellie, and if she did, he would track her down and bring her back. The baby was his and he meant to keep her.
Thelma did not come down again that day. And she had not come down when Conner left the house the next morning. At church, a neighbor had asked if Conner had a horse he could buy. He had a mare ready to go and, knowing the man to be kind, Conner said he’d bring her over and, if he liked her, they’d make a deal. He saddled his horse and, leading the mare, rode away.
The man declared himself pleased with the animal. “She is spirited without being headstrong. A horse like that can be trusted.” They struck a mutually agreeable bargain. Conner pocketed the money. It felt good to know his reputation was spreading.
Even better was knowing he was free from marriage to Thelma. He could take the news to Kate and persuade her to give him a chance. He’d go see her this evening.
As he reached the barn, Dawson hurried toward him. “You might want to leave the saddle on.”
“Why is that?”
“Thelma rode away shortly after you left. Said she was going to town to conduct some important business.”
Good. Maybe she would leave town and resume her singing career in some distant town. He had no desire to ride after her and ask her to return.
“She had Ellie with her.”
“What?” She meant to fulfill her threat to take the baby, did she? Well, she’d soon see he wouldn’t stand by and let her take Ellie from him. He swung into the saddle and galloped from the yard.
*
At the knock on the door, Kate opened it and stared at Thelma, Ellie draped awkwardly over her arm. She took the baby. Thelma seemed relieved to let her.
Kate stared at the woman before her, uncertain what she expected.
Kate sat, Ellie perched on her knee. The baby seemed tense, as if aware of the strain in the room. Kate did her best to relax, but it wasn’t easy with Thelma glowering at her. She tried to think why the woman would be angry at her but could not come up with any reason.
“Conner is refusing to marry me.”
Kate could do nothing but stare as the announcement slowly made its way through her brain. “Why?”
“He says he doesn’t love me.” Bitterness dripped from every one of Thelma’s words. “That’s not what he said a year and a half ago.” She lowered her gaze to Ellie. “Not that I suppose he figured he’d be fathering a baby with his assurances of love.”
“Why do you insist the baby is his? Everyone knows that’s not true.”
Thelma continued as if Kate hadn’t spoken. “So he says. I say otherwise and now he must marry me.” She changed her tone and grew pleading. “I only want little Ellie here to have a father who loves her and will take care of her.”
Kate couldn’t find anything to say. Not that it seemed to matter to Thelma.
“I thought we understood each other.” Her smile did nothing to ease the ice in Kate’s veins. Thelma rose. “I suggest you leave immediately. He’d soon forget you. I’ll see to that.” She batted her eyes…an action that made Kate shudder.
“We’ll provide a nice home for Ellie.” She made her way to the door.
Kate forced her limbs to follow.
Thelma stepped outside, then turned. “Give her to me.” She took Ellie. The baby watched Kate until they drove away.
Kate closed the door and stared at the wooden panel before her. She would not be responsible for taking Ellie’s father from her.
Her legs gave out and she crumpled to the floor. She had known better from the first. She did not belong in a family. She would never be a wife or a mother.
How long she sat there, she couldn’t say, but her feet had gone to sleep when she finally pushed to her feet and she grabbed the back of a chair and hobbled to the table. She needed to get away from this place. The mail came in today. Perhaps her awaited letter had arrived.
She waited for her feet to come alive again before she hurried from the house and down the street to the post office.
“Any mail for the doctor?” she asked.
“Some letters for him and one for you.”
She took the mail and ripped open the letter from the school. It informed her she had already passed all the entrance requirements and could start in two weeks’ time. The weakness in her legs returned double-fold and she leaned against the wall for support.
“Bad news?” The man watched her with interest.
“Good news.” Wasn’t it? Then why did it feel like the bottom had fallen out of her world? She gave the man a weak smile and made her uncertain way back to the house to stand in the middle of the kitchen and stare at the stove.
She shuddered in a breath.
Father came from the examining room. She handed him the mail. “I heard from the medical school.” Unable to relay the information, she gave him the letter to read.
“Well, Kate, you’re finally on your way. Isn’t that great? I’m sure you’re excited.”
“Yes, Father. I have many things to do in preparation for leaving.” She made her way to her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed. Shouldn’t she be excited? There were others who wanted this and couldn’t have it. Like Albert Stevens. It was what she’d wanted all her life. What her father and mother had wanted. What she’d been born for.
It was Thelma’s visit that had her unable to think clearly. She would not do anything that would interfere with Ellie’s future happiness.
Ellie needed a father. She needed Conner.
Knowing she would find strength and encouragement in the words of her Bible, Kate opened the pages and read until her resolve was returned. She knew the right thing to do and she would do it.
All she had left to do was put the last few things in her trunk. Soon she would be on her way and the events of the past few weeks would be but a memory. One she vowed would not be filled with the regret of making poor choices.
She’d leave Thelma and Conner to work things out and provide Ellie with the home she needed and deserved.
How long would it take for the pain of saying goodbye to abate?
Chapter Sixteen
Kate went to the kitchen, intending to—She couldn’t remember what her plan had been.
She buried her head in her arms against the tabletop. Why was it so hard to think about leaving? Going to medical school? Because, she admitted sorrowfully, she had let herself think about having a family. To do so, she would give up being a doctor. She wanted a family where she wouldn’t be constantly called away, where she’d be able to plan family events and celebrations and where she’d be home every day to greet a husband, to tend the children. A smile played around her lips as she let herself dream.
And then she slammed the door on such thoughts. Don’t waste the gift God has given you, Grammie’s words condemned.
She bent her head to the table again, praying for strength to face her future with courage.
“Kate, is something wrong?”
At Father’s voice, she jerked upright. She hadn’t heard him come into the room. “No, of course not.” She rushed to the stove. “No patients? I’ll make you coffee.”
Father sat at the table.
She felt him studying her and kept her gaze averted for fear he would see more than she wanted him to. The coffee boiled and she poured a cupful and put it before him.
He caught her hand. “Something is troubling you. What is it?”
She shrugged. “I’m suddenly rea
lizing how much I will miss you when I leave. I hadn’t expected it to be so hard.”
“I’ll miss you, too, but once you’re there and immersed in your studies, you won’t have time to be lonely.”
“I know you’re right.”
Father patted her hand. “I wish your mother had lived to see you achieve this. You know she wanted to be a doctor but ran into roadblocks because of being a woman.”
“I know.” And now Kate would fulfill her mother’s dreams. And fulfill her promise to Grammie. A Bible verse flashed through her mind. No man, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God. “I’ll be fine, especially as you’re doing better and you have Albert to help you.”
“God has provided as He always does. We can trust Him. He never fails.”
Father’s words sent strength to Kate’s heart. “There’s really no reason for me not to leave immediately. That will give me time to get settled before classes start.” And it would get her away from Bella Creek and all the reminders of Conner and Ellie. It would remove any reason for Thelma to take Ellie away.
Father hesitated. “That sounds wise.” His words were laced with sadness. “It’s not going to be easy to say goodbye.”
“The stage heads east at noon.” Now that she’d made up her mind, she couldn’t wait to be on her way. “I could be on it.”
Father stared at the door and swallowed hard. “It’s sudden, but I know you’ve delayed for a long time.” He nodded. “You do what you think is best.”
She was packed.
No time like the present to get started. She told Father she would leave this very day, then rushed down the street to Sadie’s house.
Sadie saw her coming and met her at the door. The children played in the backyard and called out hello to her. She greeted them, then joined Sadie indoors.
“I wanted to tell you I heard from the medical school and I will be starting studies in the very near future. I’m leaving today.”
Sadie stared. “You’re still planning that?”
“Why does everyone think I’ve changed my mind?”
“You want the truth?”
“Of course.”
“Very well. For two reasons. First, because I see how things are between you and Conner.”
“Don’t you mean Conner and Thelma?”
“No, I don’t.”
Kate wouldn’t look at her friend. If Kate was the reason Conner and Thelma weren’t working out their differences, then all the more reason she should leave.
“But the second reason is even more important in my opinion.”
Kate wished she hadn’t asked for the truth because she had the feeling she wasn’t going to like what Sadie said.
Sadie continued, “You don’t talk about medical school like someone who can’t see herself doing anything else in life. Being a doctor should be more than a duty.” She paused and, when Kate said nothing, added, “Don’t you think?”
“I am going to be a doctor.” She could find no other answer.
Sadie sighed. “I’m going to miss you.”
“You and Isabelle have families of your own now to enjoy. I wish you both lots of happiness.”
“Thank you.”
“I won’t have time to say goodbye to Isabelle and the others. Will you let them know?” Not being able to say farewell to her friend left a bitter taste in her mouth, but Isabelle would understand and Kate would be back at Christmas.
Her chest refused to work as she thought of having to see Conner and Thelma together. But at least Ellie would be safe.
Kate placed one hand over the other at her waist. She’d done that all her life when she was upset or afraid. Hopefully no one else had noticed it.
Sadie studied her a long, silent moment. “Very well. I’ll let her know. But don’t you want to say goodbye to the others? What about Grandfather? Ellie? And Conner?”
At the mention of the others, Kate almost changed her mind. But she didn’t know if she had the courage to see Ellie and Conner again. “I wish I had time, but the stage leaves at noon.”
Sadie’s disapproval hung between them like a barrier. Kate didn’t stay long, using the excuse that she had many things to do.
*
Conner rode toward town. Where would Thelma go? It wasn’t likely she’d remain in town, where Conner would easily find her and take the baby back. His heart kicked into a frenzied gallop as he realized today was Monday. The stagecoach came today. He glanced at the sky. Likely it had already left the mail and passengers and gone on to Wolf Hollow. It returned before noon to pick up anyone wanting to travel east. The sun was already directly overhead.
He urged his horse to a faster pace. He’d let Thelma leave if she wanted. But she wouldn’t be taking Ellie with her. If she protested, he would demand she reveal Ellie’s birth records.
A buggy traveled toward him. Hopefully it would not be someone wanting to visit…or worse, requiring he return to the ranch. Within minutes, he recognized the driver and pulled to a halt.
Thelma coming back? Ellie safely in her lap. His breath whooshed out, but his nerves did not relax. What was she up to?
She drew abreast of him and stopped. “Going somewhere?”
He didn’t believe the innocence she tried to portray. She knew he was riding after her…or more specifically, after Ellie. “What game are you playing now?”
She pouted a little and batted her eyes. “How unfair you are to me. I merely went to town to visit Kate. Is there anything wrong with that?”
He studied her, congratulating himself at keeping himself in check when he wanted to order her to stop her nonsense, to think of someone besides herself. “I’m sure Kate welcomed your visit.”
Thelma’s chuckle revealed no hint of amusement. “I can’t say that she did, but we had a nice chat.” She paused, smiling thinly. “We are more alike than you realize.”
They couldn’t be more different if they’d been born on opposite sides of the moon, but he held his tongue, letting Thelma get her enjoyment out of this.
“You do realize that she wants nothing to do with becoming a permanent part of your life, so if you think tossing me aside will convince her to marry you, you are blind to the facts.”
“What did you say to her?” Each word scratched from his throat.
“Nothing you would object to. Why don’t you visit her yourself? You’ll see that I’m not mistaken. I’ll be back at the ranch waiting for you.” Ellie squirmed as she tried to get Conner’s attention. She wanted him to take her, but he couldn’t. He had to talk to Kate.
“You go on home. I’m going to town.”
“Yes. You do that.” She flicked the reins and rode on with a mocking laugh.
He continued his journey toward town at a slightly less hectic pace. What had Thelma said to Kate? Why was she so certain Kate wouldn’t be interested in what he had to say?
He reached town. The stagecoach rattled away, but he was no longer interested in its passengers.
He went down the alley to the back entrance of the doctor’s house and slowly dismounted. His mind bounced back and forth between anticipation and dread. He knew she had grown fond of him. Now that he’d made it clear to Thelma that he didn’t intend to marry her, he could ask Kate to consider marriage to him.
But Thelma’s warning made him uncertain.
He wouldn’t solve anything standing outside looking at the door, so he strode up to the house and knocked.
Silence greeted him. He knocked again. Not a sound came from the interior. His insides felt wooden.
What had Thelma done?
The bang of a door drew his attention back to the house. Someone had entered the front entrance. He banged his fist against the door.
Dr. Baker opened to his urgent knock. “Conner, come in. What can I do for you?”
He stepped inside and looked around. “I need to talk to Kate.”
“I’m sorry, but it’s too late. She left on the stagecoach.”
<
br /> “Left? Why?”
“Surely you knew she was going to medical school. It’s always been her dream.”
Conner’s bones melted and he grabbed the nearby chair to keep himself upright.
“She left you a note.” The doctor handed Conner an envelope.
Clutching the paper in his fist, he staggered from the house. He reached his horse and swung into the saddle. His first thought was to ride after the stage and yank Kate from it.
First, he must read what she’d written and he removed a sheet of paper and unfolded it.
To Conner:
I’m sorry I didn’t have time to say goodbye. I am on my way to medical school just as I always planned. Please tell your family goodbye for me. Give Ellie a kiss from me. Take good care of her.
Sincerely,
Kate
He turned the page over, hoping for more. More than a formal goodbye that included everyone. He stared down the road. Then reined about and headed for the ranch. She’d been clear there wasn’t room in her life for him.
*
“Conner, come to the house,” Annie called.
His nerves twitched at the urgency in his sister’s voice. He vaulted the fence and trotted toward the house.
“Is something wrong with Ellie?” He looked at the baby sitting on a blanket on the floor surrounded with pot lids. Over the two weeks since Kate had left, the baby had started doing so many things. He only wished he could share each joy with Kate.
“No. It’s Thelma. She hasn’t been down all day so I went up to check on her. She won’t wake up.”
“She’s taken too much of that medicine.” Conner clattered up the stairs and into Thelma’s room. Her lips had a faint bluish tinge. “Is she breathing?” he whispered.
He and Annie watched and both released sighs when the blankets over her chest rose and fell. “She has to wake up.” He shook her. “Thelma, Thelma.” Her head lolled back. “Send someone for the doctor. Dawson is out by the barn.”
Annie rushed down the stairs. She called out to Dawson and in minutes a horse galloped away at a furious rate. It would take time for Dr. Baker to get here…if he was even available. He might be out on a call.