Galactic Fist of Legend: Volume 2
By Scottie Futch
Copyright 2017 Scottie Futch
Smashwords Edition
License Note: This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite eBook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Author's Note: This story involves the utilization of elements of parody. All characters who resemble well-known characters in gaming, anime, and pop-culture in general, are crafted as a means to gently poke fun at those popular characters and the fandoms that have grown up around those characters.
No claim over the original source material is made, or implied. The characters and locations that appear within this work do so under 'Fair Use' doctrine, and are only crafted in such a way as to 'speak to the original' while maintaining their own separate and unique identity. Further, it is asserted that the parodied variations of characters and locations mentioned in this story are so far removed from the original that they can in fact stand on their own as separate intellectual concepts.
This work is created in the spirit of entertainment and as a celebration of the concepts and parodied works found herein. Now, let us all come together and revel in the random fits of insanity.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
About the Author
Discover Other Titles
Connect with Me
Learn More About LitRPG
Chapter 1
Deep within the mundane confines of a seemingly normal office building, a discussion of paramount importance was underway. It was a conversation that would change the very foundation on which those speaking, stood.
"Come on, do you really want to pack up and move? We just got comfortable here," whined Daedra. She emphasized her point with a slight pout and a tilt of her head. It was ridiculous to give up everything that the company built in their current location merely to set up shop elsewhere.
"Now, sister dear, you do know that we have to continue upgrading to bigger and better locations. It's necessary for our public image," replied Emeritus, the Grand Emissary.
Daedra blew out a frustrated breath. "But we already did it eighty-three years ago. Why the rush?"
Her dear brother lifted his hand and showed her the back of it in a casual manner. "Sister, this is not up for debate. We are doing this. Stop complaining about the fact that you have to actually pack up all of the crap in your room."
She groaned loudly then stomped her foot at him in indignation "It's not crap! It's memorabilia."
"Right. Memorable crap is still crap," said Emeritus as he began to prepare for the inevitable sigh that must soon follow. He allowed himself a dramatic pause before he unleashed it, however.
Daedra countered his response with an overly dramatic sigh of her own. "But!"
"No buts. Go clean your room!" commanded the grand emissary. "We'll need to be moved within the next six years or so."
"So soon!" cried Daedra. She leaned forward, her most obvious maidenly assets presented like a promise. "Can't you see fit to allow your sweet lover a little more time?"
"If she asked me, certainly. However, as you are my sister and certainly not my lover..." he said, before leaning forward and acquiring an authoritarian tone. "Go. Clean. Your. Room."
"Bully," she said with a precisely calculated pout. It did not take long before that pout shifted into a beautiful smile, and then into a far more lecherous one. "Please bully me more..."
He sighed loudly once more and shook his head. "You get worse by the decade, sister."
She threw one of her hands into the air then said, "Fine. Fine. I'll clean my room."
"Good. See that you do," he said in an even tone of voice.
Daedra pouted at him again. It was no fun if he didn't play along.
They were quiet for a time. The emissary looked away from her after the moment began to pass, and started to work once more. It was not long before she said, "You never play with me anymore."
"You're a grown goddess Daedra. You'll just have to learn to play with yourself," said the emissary without thinking.
"But brother..." she said in a petulant tone that coincided with a sweetly erotic gasp, "I do that all the time..."
"Daedra, my dear sister... You are being creepy again," said the emissary before he waved his hand through the air. An information screen appeared before him. "Why not go pick someone from this list and stalk them for a while instead."
She made a disgusted noise. "Following those pathetic mortals around again?"
The emissary gazed meaningfully at her. "It's what we do, sister."
"But they're all so boring. You've had me seek out dozens of them who entered the game, and most do nothing more than spend their time gibbering in a corner before reluctantly going out to avoid death," she said, her most recent tactical assault pout becoming ever so much more precise and calculated in the process.
"All of them?" he asked her curiously. "They are all boring? You found not a single one of them interesting enough to at least keep you busy, and away from me, while I do my work?"
She began to repeat her previously assessment, but then a brief smile flickered across her face. "Well, actually... There is that one..."
"That one?" asked the Grand Emissary. Suddenly, he was quite intrigued. It was not every day that his overly affectionate little sister found someone who interested her even slightly. She was far too consumed with getting his attention in recent years.
"Ah. He's on your list, master," said Daedra. She highlighted a name then showed it to him.
He glanced at the name then made a curiously intrigued humming sound. "This one... The one who likes to tip toe around parking lots, and bore me to tears?"
"I followed him for a while as you commanded of me, my dark and sexy master," said Daedra lightly.
A tired sigh escaped the elder brother as he dealt with the strange affections of his sister. "I have not read your report, yet. What did he do that was so interesting?"
Daedra tapped her lower lip with her finger then twisted her torso a little to emphasis her some of her more notable qualities. "Well, instead of sitting in a corner and crying like most of the champions who chose to enter the game, this fellow makes the occasional joke and actually seems to enjoy some of the missions that he goes on."
"That's hardly unique. There are several hundred thousand champions who actually enjoy their new lives," said the emissary in a less curious tone.
Daedra giggled sweetly then offered him an overly cheerful smile. "Well, actually... I also sort of spoke with him a little."
The emissary's eyes widened as the implications set in, and a shaky hand rose slowly to his lips. "You did what? Daedra, you know that is forbidden! It violates the rules."
"Oh, don't be so dramatic, brother dear. He never saw me. Plus, I did not give him any actual aid or advice," said Daedra, a slight gleam in her eyes.
"No, no... Clearly you have done a terrible thing and violated the sanctity of the contest," said the Grand Emissary with a decisive nod of his head.
"Brother...?" asked Daedra, her eyes also going wide. This could be bad. He seemed strangely serious at the moment.
The emissary stood up and placed his hands down upon his desk. A silent moment passed before he took a deep breath, and in a sober tone of voice he said, "Daedra. For violating the rules I must punish you."
The gleam in her eye intensified and began to positively sparkle in the light. A hint of drool trickled down the corner of her lip just before she cried out, "Yes! Please do!"
He smiled brightly upon hearing her words then said, "For the remainder of that champion's life, you will be his personal manager."
"What? No!" she exclaimed, mortified at the very thought of such a thing.
"This is not a discussion. You are now bound to him. Whenever he engages in a mission, you will follow him around and try to create the best possible footage to improve his follower count," said the emissary.
"No, no... If you assign me to such a fate, I won't be able to come to see you as often, brother!" she exclaimed with a sad little wail. She clutched at her maidenly bosom and attempted to still the rapid beating of her heart. It was so loud, and pounded ever so fiercely, surely her brother could hear it as it began to break?
Emeritus sighed languidly then took a moment to affect a sad expression. "I will try not to do anything too interesting while you are gone, my dear sister. However, I must be fair in my dealings with the mortals. They agreed to the contract, and you agreed to yours."
"Brother! No!" she cried once more, before he casually dismissed her with a wave of his hand. She faded out of sight even as a desperate wail of denial echoed hollowly throughout the room.
The Grand Emissary stood alone in the room for a moment. His breathing came a little quicker after a brief few seconds passed. Joy exploded across his face even as a bubbly laugh escaped his lips. He drew a hand to his mouth then lowered it after a moment even as he threw his head back. This time the laugh was joyous, exultant! "Free! For a short time, I am free!"
He settled back down into his comfortable office chair then slapped the table with his palm. "I should get that beautiful mortal bastard a nice thank you gift."
For the first time in quite some time, the Grand Emissary smiled for reasons that had nothing to do with profit shares and follower counts. He was free at last.
Chapter 2
It was a strange thing, living life on rails. For well over a week Scott had spent his time taking mission after mission. His life was a constant cycle of death and destruction without reprieve.
Rarely given the chance to actually spend time with another human being, he had given in to the urge to talk to himself on many occasions. Some might consider such a thing to be a sign of madness, but for Scott it was a more of a symbol of his obstinate desire to remain sane. He cracked inappropriate jokes, and relieved his psychological pressure through ridiculous humor.
Still, everything until now was about survival and the mission. Now that he had gained the better part of a week to do whatever he pleased, it was hard to decide what to do first.
In some ways, it was like what happens when a puppy is born and raised inside of a house. The puppy might look out of a window, but there is always a barrier. The puppy is always safe inside its little house-box. However, when the day comes that the darling little thing is put out into the yard. The puppy, suddenly exposed to a world without perceivable boundaries, is likely to crouch low and whimper while looking around uncertainly at everything that it must now truly face.
There are so many options, and some of them quite terrifying, in the brave new world into which the poor little puppy was thrust. In that way, life shows hints of what it is like for a man to be tossed into an alternate world. At the moment, Scott was a confused pup uncertain of himself and what he wanted to do first.
In the end, the first thing Scott chose to do was to make a sandwich. Certainly it was not the most exciting option, but it was a choice that he could make.
As he ate a meal, Scott considered the exact next step that he needed to take, while he also absent-mindedly read his engineering book.
After his breakfast, Scott finally decided to stop being a confused little puppy and made another decision. "It's time to go shopping," he said with a decisive nod of his head.
He went to the recreation room and checked into a few things. "So, I can purchase a life in Bounty Star?" he asked lightly.
Getting a life basically meant documentation. He could purchase credentials that would be perfectly acceptable in that world setting. As such, he would be able to buy or sell items with no issue, and even rent or buy land in federation areas.
"So, I'll be buying that for a hundred EXP..." said Scott, thoughtfully. He converted one thousand more EXP to credits to help his new life along.
In the process of getting a life he was given an ID card. "I see, it acts like a physical debit card as well."
As far as the setting of Bounty Star was concerned, he was Scott Davidson, a man from the outer-rim. Basically, his paperwork claimed he was from the galactic equivalent of an extreme rural area. He might be viewed as an interplanetary hillbilly by the snobbier individuals in the galaxy, but few people would be surprised by his lack of knowledge.
"So, I'm now a millionaire. Let's go see what a million credits can buy," said Scott. He selected Bounty Star as his world of choice then stepped through the recreation room door.
Hellespont, the free space port, now stood before him. The simulated daylight was a nice touch, though he could still see the stars shining through the massive glass-like dome overhead. It was a terrible design for something that existed in space, but it was also glorious.
He walked out of the small alleyway that acted as his arrival point, and noticed a multitude of people wandering around. Most were human, but there were all manner of creatures floating about. Some of them also literally floated as they puttered along on an anti-gravity device. The frog man sitting on a device that resembled a skateboard was the most interesting. He wore the sort of expression one might have if he was bored of everything to do with life. Of course, as far as Scott knew the frog man might have been deliriously happy at the moment. He had no point of reference to help him understand the inner complexities of a frog man.
After he took in the sights for a while, he began to walk around the massive complex with a purpose. He needed to find the local equivalent of an ATM. The identity that he purchased came with a modest mental download. He knew what specific items would look like in federation areas. It did not take long to recognize the weird little device that acted as a credit transfer station for the galactic bank. There would be one near any major retail outlet.
The local equivalent of an ATM was a floating bubble with a little hovering screen inside of it. Scott touched the bubble and it wrapped around him. Encased inside, no one could see his banking information save for him.
"Hell yeah, one million credits it is..." Scott grinned moronically at the screen. For all he knew, that was barely enough to buy sci-fi toilet paper. Though, he suspected he was worth a decent amount of money right now. Samantha wanted considerably less for her payment, and mercenaries like her were probably not cheap.
It was not long before Scott discovered just what his million credits was actually worth. His grin nearly exploded into an expression of orgasmic bliss. "You have got to be shitting me..." he said, before a ridiculous and entirely unmasculine giggle burst from his lips.
Many transactions were automated in the Bounty Star world setting. After buying a small floating device that acted as a city map, Scott went to one of the moderately luxurious residential towers in the upscale part of the city. He moved through the tower while looking for a room. The topmost floor, the penthouses, came with their own private docking pads. However, they were far beyond his price range. Instead, he picked a corner room on one of the middle floors. It had a nice view, and could have fit a family of ten easily. Though, said family would need to share rooms.
In
order to buy his happy new home, he placed his hand to the door. A little screen popped up that told him how much it would cost to buy the apartment. "Hey, not bad!"
Six hundred thousand credits lighter, Scott now owned his own swanky luxury apartment on Hellespont. Whether it would prove to be a good investment remained to be seen, but at least he had a place to stay that did not seem like it was designed solely to depress him.
"Hot damn. If I can't get laid here, I might as well die alone," said Scott as he strolled through his new home. His apartment was larger on the inside than the entirety of his current Home Point.
"How do you get this much space on a space station for a few hundred thousand credits?" The exchange rate was ridiculous.
His bedroom offered a huge bed, a huge comfortable bed. Scott launched himself onto it the moment that he saw it. He flailed his arms and legs around spastically then rolled around a bit. He made little happy grunting noises and laughed himself silly. "A real bed! A really real, bed!"
Sleep was the last thing on his mind, but his new bed was simply amazing. Eventually, he stopped rolling around like a moron and hopped back to his feet. He explored the other rooms, taking special delight in the massive bathtub, and the ever so fancy toilet. The thing had a menu interface and even talked to him in a cheerful, vaguely British, accent.
"Greetings, sir. How may I assist you today?" asked the toilet in a crisp and professional tone.
Scott stared at the talkative sci-fi toilet for a moment then shrugged. He did not have to use the facilities, so he told it that he had no needs.
"Very good, sir," replied the toilet of the future. For a moment it seemed to enter some sort of standby mode, but as Scott grew comfortable with that explanation it began to hum the song, 'Rule, Britannia.'
Why would a future toilet hum that song? Scott did not know, but he could not help but hum along a little and he wasn't even from England. "Bum, bum, Bah bum-bum..."
Galactic Fist of Legend: Volume 2 Page 1