Finding Kylie

by Kimberly McKay

  John was from one of the most prominent families in the city. Although he excelled at everything he did, he was best known as the captain of the football team. His blonde good looks aided him as the poster boy for the Moore Lions.

  His infectious smile, paired with his confident stare, was a dangerous combination, which had an effect on everyone around him. The guys, in school, looked up to him … wanting to be him, and every girl secretly dreamed about being picked up by him in his Mustang.

  Kylie’s interest was deeper than most, considering most girls her age had a boyfriend or two in school. She idolized John, without knowing the reality of what it meant to be involved with anyone - let alone her high school crush.

  As both of Kylie’s parents worked full-time jobs, they had yet to teach her the basics of dating or relationships. They were too busy with their own lives to realize the changes going on in their daughter’s, and failed to recognize the need to discuss certain issues of being a teenage girl, which left her completely unprepared for the night ahead.

  This is it … the moment that will change me forever! Kylie reveled in being the center of John’s attention.

  His gaze made her feel like she flying higher than the stars, which lit the night’s sky. When he leaned in for the kiss, her mind started to race.

  Does this mean I’ll be his girlfriend? She wondered if John would fall for her as hard, as she had for him.

  As John firmly planted his full lips on hers, his eyes seemed to turn from bright green to a dark blue. Keeping them open, he massaged her mouth with his, encouraging her to be more bold.

  She was coaxed from light to deep kisses, which sped up with progression. Again, Kylie’s mind swirled with thoughts that changed from simple innocent questions to uncomfortable ones.

  Is this supposed to be how kissing feels … is it okay to feel this good? What if I am ready to stop? Will he get mad if I slow down?

  Tuning her thoughts out, she decided to let herself be in the moment. After all it was her first kiss, and what harm could come from it?

  John moved his mouth down her neck and dug his hands into her hair. It seemed a little rough, but it certainly fit the heat of the moment.

  She was glad that he didn’t seem to notice her lack of experience, and began to be a little bolder with her kisses. She lightly traced his mouth with her tongue, initiating the next move. It thrilled her to see John react, with such intensity. She finally knew how it felt to be sexy - instead of boring Kylie, the girl next door.

  As he nibbled on her ear, his eyes darted to the back patio.

  “Let’s take it somewhere more comfortable.”

  John pulled her up, and they stood to dry their feet on the grass. As they walked toward the patio, Kylie was consumed by the smell of sticky magnolias. Her heart racing, she looked up to see the moonlight suddenly dim, as clouds rolled through the night sky.

  Chapter 3

  As her alarm sounded, Chastity stretched, making that familiar screeching noise that her mother always laughed at. She loved how cleansing it felt to stretch as far as she could, while sounding off early in the morning.

  She smiled as she awoke to her surroundings.

  “Mmmm,” she hummed, as she took in her mother's condo.

  San Francisco - with a full view of the ocean over the rooftops across the street … one of my favorite places on earth.

  From under her hazy dreams, her brain finally started kicking in. Chastity awoke enough to remember why she was here ... her mother’s funeral. Her heart fell.

  Back to reality.

  Now came the task of cleaning out the house for a garage sale and packing up a few of her mother’s personal things to take home with her. She sat up, rubbed her eyes, and put one foot on the floor.

  This is way it’s going to have to be ... one step at a time. God, help me through today, she prayed. If I can just keep putting one-foot in front of the other than I can make it.

  Chastity started for the bathroom to brush her teeth. She swung open the door, where her mother’s favorite terry cloth bathrobe was hanging on the wall. She gingerly reached for it, and wrapped herself up inside, bringing the front of it up to her nose.

  Mmmm. It smelled like her mother’s night cream. The sensation immediately took her back to her child hood, when her mom would tuck her in every night, kissing her on her forehead.

  Sweet dreams Chastity, her mother would always say before their nightly prayers. Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep...

  Cheryl’s call from downstairs brought her back to the present.

  “Breakfast is ready kid! French Toast … your favorite!”

  Chastity could smell the burnt toast from upstairs. It was a far cry from her mother’s specialty but the effort was all that counted.

  Yesterday’s resentment melted as she headed downstairs to see the elaborate spread Cheryl put together on her behalf. All of her Grama’s best flat-wear, china, and serving sets were sitting on the kitchen table ready to use.

  Her mother used them for special occasions only. She noticed all the rest of her favorites were on the table as well; sausages, eggs benedict, and strawberries dipped in chocolate.

  Her stomach growled. She could hardly wait.

  “Only the best for you Chaz,” Cheryl affectionately called her, as she put the pitcher of orange juice next to her plate.

  “How did you have the energy to do this?” She sat down in amazement, with a big of nagging guilt. “You didn’t have to get up and make breakfast.”

  Cheryl turned to pull out her chair. “Yes, I did. I told your mom that I would look after you. I can’t have you getting a rough start in the morning.”

  She sat across from Chastity and began serving her self. “Besides ... you’ll need all the help you can, especially after tasting my cooking. Just wait till you try my sausages. They’re to die for.”

  They looked at each other and broke out into laughter. It was the infectious kind of giggle that you had to walk out of the room just to get away from.

  A labile reaction is what my shrink would call this, thought Cheryl … laughing when I really should be crying, but this is the only way I am going to keep sane.

  Cheryl took of bite of food to keep her from more laughter and against her social upbringing, began talking with her mouth full.

  “So what room do you want to start in first? We could sort through the kitchen items for the garage sale after we clean up from eating. It would make more sense.”

  “I’ll go get some paper out of mom’s desk. I’m not sure where to begin though.” Chastity bit her lip. “I can’t put a price on her things. It’s so ... final.”

  She let out a deep breath and continued; “I guess I can organize the items, if you’ll take care of cataloging it all. I don’t even know if I can go through with selling any of it. The thought of strangers paying for her things …” She frowned.

  “Kylie wouldn’t want you to hold on to all of it. She obviously couldn’t take it with her. They’re just things honey.”

  Cheryl sipped her orange juice and continued, “Besides it’ll help out your someday fund, and that’s what she would want anyway.”

  Chastity put her elbows on the table, rested her face in her hands, and sighed.

  She would want me to keep the few personal things that meant a lot to us, and sell the rest. Mom always said, ‘Someday all I have is yours’. So I guess this is where it starts ... this is her legacy. And, I can do this one step at a time.

  Picking up her fork, she continued to eat. She was going to need her strength.

  When breakfast was done, Cheryl loaded the dishwasher.

  “Just go upstairs to pack some personal things of your mother’s,” she said, as she turned from the dishwasher, with a sad smile. It was as if Cheryl was reading her mind. “Maybe going through garage sale items at this point is too soon. Just spend some time in your mom’s room and decide what you want to keep. I’ll organize it down here.”


  She gently pushed Chastity toward the staircase.

  “Thanks. Maybe tomorrow I can help you down here?”

  Chastity, numb from the previous two days, obeyed and quickly rounded the corner for the stairs. She was anxious to be in her mom’s sanctuary.

  Her long legs easily took the stairs two at a time. She approached the first door at the top, and slowly opened it. She crossed the floor, fell onto the bed, and sank into its softness.

  The cedar furniture was heavy and strong, but the mattress was so soft that once you lay down – it was hard to get up from.

  Kylie’s bed had been the first real purchase she made, once she decided to stop moving around. It was her one indulgence in life, which ended up being the best investment she could make. When she became too ill from cancer and chemo, it was where she spent most of her time.

  Chastity rolled toward her mom’s nightstand, and took a deep breath in. Her mom had always kept fresh cut irises and violets on her nightstand, at all times. She said it helped her sleep.

  Kylie’s good taste didn’t step at her choice in floral bouquets. Even though her décor was simple, her taste was exquisite. Her room was full of rich purples, teal, and chocolate brown. Although Kylie had a simplistic style, there had never been anything straightforward about her. Chastity would be the first one to admit how complex and confusing her mom really was.

  She wasn’t sure how much lie under the surface of her mother’s facade, but she knew her mom really never really let anyone in. If you got to know her she’d show you little pieces of herself. A glimpse here … a glimpse there.

  Even I only knew what you wanted me to see.

  Chastity sighed and stood up, to pull the suitcases from underneath the bed.

  “Time to pack, mom,” she announced. Maybe she’d find something that would help her understand her mother better in her room.

  Chapter 4

  Chastity finished packing her mom’s favorite pieces of jewelry and clothes, but still needed to pack an overnight bag. She wanted to keep her mother’s perfume, night crème, and hairbrush. All of Kylie’s personal effects were neatly folded and stacked.

  ZZZip. The last suitcase was full.

  Just like old times mom ... packing up all of your stuff. Except this time, you’re not coming with me. I’m on my own.

  She sat down in a daze and stared into her mother’s closet.

  I guess what I don’t sell in the garage sale; I can give to charity ... especially your shoes. I wouldn’t wear them even if they fit.

  She laughed to herself and began the task of cleaning out her mother’s shoe rack. Kylie’s closet was full of size eight and a half shoes, in all sorts of styles and colors. Her mother may not have spent much money on herself, but when she did ... it was on shoes. She always said, ‘A good pair of shoes can make your day and a bad pair can break it’.

  Chastity smiled, and began to stack shoeboxes into a garage sale box. Her mother had at least forty pairs.

  She could have shown Imelda Marcos a thing or two.

  She lifted the last three boxes, and noticed that one felt significantly lighter than the others. She took the box lid off and was stunned to see it full of newspaper clippings, which were yellowing with age.

  “Oh my gosh,” she gasped. “She hid these!”

  The pages were dated in the 1980’s.

  “This would have put her in high school!”

  Dumping the box onto her mother’s bed, she frantically spread all the clippings out.

  “Tell me what I want to know,” she whispered, frantically rifling through. Chastity found nothing but articles highlighting her mother’s high school football team, which listed stats and player information.

  “Football? Why would she hold on to these?” She asked herself.

  Determined, she looked for a common anomaly and noticed they highlighted one player in particular, John Mikale.

  She looked to his photo with instant recognition. His face … his smile seemed so familiar. She was so amazed how close she imagined what he’d look like.

  “John Mikale ... this has to be him! Surely there’s a reason she saved these. He could be my father! There has to be more. Letters, maybe? Something!” Her eyes scanned the room.

  She’d thoroughly gone through her mother’s room while packing. After finding one hiding place, she was sure there could be another.

  If I were my mother, where else would I hide something? Chastity clasped her hands and looked into her lap. Think, think, think.

  In efforts to relax, she rolled her head back and forth and began a mental checklist. She had already gone through her night stand and closet. She also packed up her mother’s dresser.

  Dresser! That has to be it. Mom was always picky about letting me help her pack that up.

  She leaped to the drawers and began pulling them out one by one. She pulled the fourth drawer out and stacked it on the floor.

  Bingo!

  Behind it lay the payoff she’d been looking for. Slowly, she pulled out an old yearbook and three worn composition notebooks, which were bundled together.

  Chastity stared, with disbelief, at the things that could potentially unlock the mystery she’d been trying to solve her whole life.

  “Okay, I can do this. Which one do I start with?”

  She lay down on the rattan rug to begin her research, and lightly traced the edges of the cover, with her finger.

  “1980 - Moore Lions. Why haven’t I ever seen this?”

  Upon opening, the yearbook creaked as if it hadn’t been read in years. The pages were full of notes from classmates, which she took joy in reading.

  ‘Hey Kylie, Have a great summer! Don’t forget me when you’re off to college! Stay sweet! Love always, Russell’

  Chastity sat there in disbelief. College … my mom never went to college!

  ‘Hey girl, you’ve arrived ... senior year was awesome! Thank you for always being so sweet. Good luck in the future. Choir wouldn't have been the same with out you. Love always, Alexis’

  Mom sang? How come I never knew? Chastity turned the page to read more.

  ‘Well good lookin’ I am going to miss you. Your smile always made my day. Don’t forget about me when you go off to make it big. You’re going to be a star! Love always, Jamie’

  A star? Mom, what happened? You seemed to have it all ... talent, looks, and friends ... Why all the secrecy? Why would you run from this? Who are you?

  Chastity thumbed through the index of her mother’s yearbook, searching for the pages, which her mom could be found. She found a total of twelve pages that ‘Kylie Wayne’ was catalogued on.

  First, she looked up her senior picture, and saw a beautiful girl, with a large beaming smile.

  I didn’t see my mother smile like that very often, she thought.

  Some one had drawn hearts around her picture and written on the space above it.

  ‘Ain’t she a beaut? Don’t break too many hearts this summer! Love, Julie’

  She could hardly believe the amount of people that seemed to have loved her mom, and couldn’t understand why she’d want to hide from her life in Oklahoma.

  In flipping through the yearbook, she saw that her mother was involved in a variety of activities, including honor chorus, basketball, and track.

  The next page she looked up was dedicated to the football section. She smiled as she thumbed through.

  I bet she was a towel girl – that’s what I’d do if I had a crush on a player.

  True to her thoughts, there was a picture of her mom and Cheryl in the background of the football’s team photo. They were indeed the team’s towel and water girls.

  Go Mom! She giggled. And what is with Cheryl’s hair?

  Cheryl’s bangs were standing straight up and swept to the side. I wonder how much hair spray that took!

  Chastity couldn’t contain her laughter. Now she knew why her mother teased Cheryl so much about her look, back in the day.

  Overall, her mother seem
ed to have a typical senior year - lots of parades, floats, and civic and athletic activities. She wasn’t the prom or homecoming queen, but she seemed to have everyone’s attention.

  What happened that would make her want to forget this? Why did she never want to return home?

  The answers had to be in her mother’s journals, but they would have to wait … as it was almost time for lunch and she needed to get downstairs.

  Completely drained, Chastity tried fighting her heavy eyelids, but this week had begun to take its toll.

  I’ll just rest for a few minutes before going downstairs.

  She laid her head in her arms, and closed her eyes for a quick nap.

  Chapter 5

  Throbbing pain was the first thing Chastity felt when she awoke. She pressed her fingers to the back of her neck, and cursed herself for not grabbing a throw pillow while she napped.

  She glanced to the clock on the wall, and groaned.

  “Oh, man, it’s 4:30. I completely missed lunch. Cheryl’s probably is wondering what happened to me.”

  Chastity knew she should feel guilty for leaving most of the hard work for her friend this afternoon, but didn’t. She had discovered more about her mom and links to her own past in the last day, than she had in her whole life. It justified having her undivided attention.

  However, there was no putting off going down stairs, to get some food, and check in on Cheryl. It wasn’t fair to leave the brunt of the house to her.

  Maybe I can find some Tylenol in the kitchen, she thought massaging her neck.

  Her mom usually kept a drawer, near the refrigerator, with all her medications inside. The first thing she noticed when she rounded the corner was how bare the kitchen seemed. She looked to the window over the sink and saw that curtains and valance were gone.