So Gone

by Jennifer Luckett

  “Luscious,” he proudly sang out swinging his leg from side to side. He pulled out a folder, tore a couple of sheets of paper out of it, and made two paper airplanes.

  Is he telling the truth? I asked myself as a paper plane whizzed by my face.

  I knew that Devin could out-fib the Devil, but I doubted that a small kid his age could make up such a lie.

  As I gazed out of the window, in deep thought, an object struck me between the eyes and fell in my lap. I looked down and saw the second paper airplane. This li’l boy is irritating the hell out of me!

  I felt like bee stinging him, Laila Ali style. Instead, I balled the paper airplane up and tossed it in the waste basket beside my desk.

  Blunt and Chunuchi had gotten together and made nothing but a mess when Devin was conceived. I’m sure it didn’t take much effort for Blunt to nail her. It seemed that if any man accidentally stepped on her foot; her legs would pop open.

  If Chunuchi couldn't keep her legs closed or use some type of protection, the least she could do was teach her children how to behave. Usually, I had the patience of Job. Dealing with high school teenagers contributed to my strength, but I was at wits end with Blunt's seed. One more rude slur, and I would snap like a deranged woman.

  When Ya Shit Comes To The Light

  Blunt

  “Yeah, Shawdy, I’ma get wit’ you later.” I gave my word as I sat up on the edge of Luscious's bed and grabbed my Polo boxers off the floor.

  “Noooo, Daddy,” she whined. “You only made me come twice, and you know a bitch ain’t satisfied unless she creams on that dick at least six times.”

  Shawdy was a high natured freak who tried to suck and fuck me dry every time I ran up in her. I knew that she loved the dick, but I wasn’t no lame. Luscious tried to drain a nigga's nuts dry all the time so that I wouldn’t have nothin’ left for Mo’.

  “Miss me wit’ da fake whining, Li’l Mama. Cuz it ain’t gon’ work,” I said and headed to the shower butt ass naked wit’ my dick swinging.

  Minutes later, Luscious ripped the shower curtain down in a huff. “Every time that sedity bitch calls, you go running to her like she got your ass on a leash.”

  “Maybe she does,” I replied while lathering the small bath towel with soap just to fuck wit’ her.

  Mo’ didn’t have me on no leash, but I loved her because she was different from the rats throughout the hood that were all on my dick. Mo’ didn’t sit around and wait on the first of the month to get a check or for a nigga to sponsor her. My baby was the principal of Harper High, and she was independent.

  There’s nothin’ more unattractive than a bitch without a job or the determination to find one. That’s what the rats didn’t understand. A nigga didn’t mind helping them get what they wanted, but their asses should’ve been able to get what they needed their goddamn selves.

  Luscious didn’t work, but she got some fuckin’ wit’ because she was somewhat my partner in crime. Li’l Mama was a dymed up red-bone, with an ass that was stupid phat. All the ballers were on her thong. That played right into my hands bein’ that I was a jackboy.

  Luscious would set those fools up real sweet, and I would leave ‘em leaking wit’ their dicks in the dirt. Because Lil Mama knew so much on me that could get me a bid wit’ football numbers attached, I had to either keep fuckin’ wit’ her or body the hoe.

  “I swear you be lettin’ that bitch punk you,” Luscious said, tryna get under my skin. I didn't bite tho'.

  "Sho’ do,” I agreed and continued soaping my six-one, one hundred and ninety-seven pound frame.

  “Well, Ebony is goin’ to need pampers and food. Can you run to the store and handle that before you go put out whateva new fire Miss Sedity needs you to put out?” She rolled her neck hard enough to snap it off.

  I hummed Lil Wayne’s tune, ‘Mirror’ featuring Bruno Mars.

  “Oh, so you just gonna ignore a bitch?” she asked standing by the shower in her birthday suit.

  “Damn, Shawdy. You finally figured it out, huh?” I replied with sarcasm while adding more hot water.

  “I hate you! When it comes to your bitch or to Devin, you’re Johnny on the mothafuckin’ spot. But when it comes to me and yo’ daughter it’s always wait, wait, mothafuckin’ wait.”

  “That’s what you get fo’ baby trappin’ a nigga.”

  “I didn’t baby trap yo’ black ass; you shoulda pulled out of the pussy. Nigga, you didn't have to bust all up in me if you didn't want what comes with it.”

  “Nawl, you shouldna slipped the condom off. Then again, I shoulda expected somethin’ slick out of a slick hoe. Anyway, I’m ‘bout to be out.”

  I turned the water off, got out of the shower, and grabbed a towel off the towel rack on the wall. Luscious stood there poppin' off at the mouth as I toweled myself dry. She was tryna make me put a foot in that ass, but like we say in the 'A', I wasn't going.

  I opened the bathroom’s door and nudged Luscious out. Then, I slammed the door in her mug. She kicked the door, twisted the door handle, and screamed, "Open this mothafucka right now!"

  I kept right on humming. The more she screamed, the louder I hummed. I tossed my Akoo white tee over my head, stepped into my Akoo jeans, and splashed on some Prada cologne that I kept at her crib. When I opened the door, she was still bumping her gums, not talking about a goddamn thang.

  I went into her bedroom to get my Jordans and my cell phone, and then I was out.

  “And I’m tired of hiding Ebony from yo’ bitch. You better tell her about us, or I will,” she hurled at my back as I headed out of the door. I stopped in my tracks and spun around.

  “And when you do that, I’ma make our daughter motherless,” I promised.

  “Are you threatening me, Blunt?” she challenged.

  “Real niggas don't make threats; they pull triggers. Don’t forget that.”

  I trotted down the stairs, hopped in my whip, and mashed out without giving the shit that Luscious was jabbering about any further thought.

  Truth Told

  Molaysia

  I was traumatized to hear that my man had been laying up with some random whore fucking her raw. On top of that, he had fathered a newborn daughter with her. I wondered when the liar and cheater would tell me about the new baby.

  I sat there with a broken heart and a shattered spirit. I had given Blunt my all from the moment we first kissed. I had never been dishonest with him or cheated. Even after finding out about his side chick, I planned to remain true. Keyshia Cole’s song, ‘I should of Cheated’ came to mind, but that's not who I am.

  I turned in my chair and looked over at the bookshelf. On the top shelf was a silver framed photo of Aunt Sara. She stood in front of her small brick home in her Sunday’s best. She wore a sky-blue dress with a matching hand-crocheted hat; a beautiful oversized white flower bloom decorated it on one side.

  Auntie was such an elegant woman, and I wished that I could be as strong as she was. After I moved to Atlanta, we spoke every day. It was lovely to hear her voice. She always cheered me up and made me laugh. She had a real old sense of humor, and a chuckle that would start anyone to laughing with her.

  I remembered the first trip back to Memphis to visit relatives after moving to Atlanta. Blunt accompanied me on that trip and paid for everything, including the first class plane tickets and the shopping spree that he took me and my aunt on. I hadn’t seen Aunt Sara smile that wide in a long time. She absolutely fell in love with Blunt. One night they stayed up talking for hours while I lay in the guest room asleep.

  Every so often Auntie woke me up with that loud laugh of hers. I didn't mind because I loved to see her enjoy herself. Blunt really worked his charm that night.

  “That boy is a real rascal,” she said affectionately when we were alone the next day.

  I was so happy that Auntie approved of him because my choice of men before him had not won her approval. Every time I spoke with her, she would ask about Blunt. He was still trying to impress me
back then so my reports were favorable.

  Everything seemed so wonderful. Then one night, almost two years ago, I received a phone call from Leesha saying that Aunt Sara had been found unconscious in her home. She had been rushed to Baptist Memorial Hospital.

  The doctors thought she had suffered a stroke at first and things weren’t looking good. I began packing my bags to rush to her side.

  The next day, I received another call from my cousin informing me that Auntie had regained consciousness and was able to talk. She told me not to get my hopes up because unfortunately it wasn’t a stroke, but a burst bowel. There was nothing that could be done except give her strong pain medicine to keep her at ease until she took her last breath. I was inconsolable.

  Blunt held me in his arms and rocked me until my tears soaked his shirt. "I'm driving you there, baby," he offered.

  On our way to Memphis two hours later, I was devastated to learn that Auntie had passed. Leesha was sobbing on the other end of the phone. I hung up my cell and dropped it in my lap. Tears dripped down my face while Blunt drove. “What’s wrong, baby?” he glimpsed over and asked me.

  “Auntie passed away,” I said between the loud cries that I released.

  Blunt got off the highway at the next exit. He pulled into the parking lot of a gas station and parked. Then he took me into his arms. I buried my face in his shoulder and cried.

  “I’m sorry,” Blunt consoled me. He rubbed his hand up and down my lower back and murmured in my ear, “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m here for you.” He used his finger to wipe away my tears, and he kissed my forehead.

  I cried for at least ten minutes. I knew Aunt Sara was out of pain and no longer suffering, but I didn’t want it to be true. "It's so unfair," I wept.

  "I know, honey." Blunt tried to understand.

  The circumstances of Auntie's death were very upsetting. I often wondered how long she had been laying there before she was found in her home and if she suffered a long time and kept it to herself. It was awful thinking all of those things and knowing there would be no more cheerful calls from her. She was gone, and that was it.

  Blunt was everything that I needed him to be during that time. He comforted me whenever I felt weak. I can recall him rocking me to sleep one night. At her funeral, he was one of her pallbearers. That’s why I loved him so much because he had been my rock at a time in my life when I thought the walls were tumbling down on me. Since then he had change dramatically.

  My thoughts were interrupted when I heard the school’s bell ring for the students to change classes. My eyes landed on Devin. He had taken the shoestrings out of his shoes and was twirling them in the air. As much as I disliked doing it, I would be nice to him and juice him for information.

  I mustered up a phony smile, hoping that I could make him feel at ease. “So, Devin, does your dad have any more girlfriends other than Luscious?” I pried.

  “Yep. His other girlfriend’s name is Mika. That’s my baby brother’s mama. He just learned how to walk. Mika gives me chocolate chip cookies every time I go to her house.” He leaned back, let out a loud yawn, and then burped.

  He nearly fell out of his chair laughing about it. He was so tickled that tear drops were spilling from his eyes.

  “Aarrrgh.” He let out another huge burp and laughed harder.

  "Devin! Where are your manners?"

  My admonishment was ignored. He raised his shirt sleeve up to his shoulder and cupped his right hand under the opposite armpit.

  "Stop it, Devin," I said, knowing what he was up to.

  "Stop what?" He giggled. Then he quickly lowered his elbow, and made his armpit make a farting noise.

  He laughed so hard no sound came out, and he sat there clapping like a seal. I shook my head hoping he would quit clowning and talk to me.

  I uncrossed my legs and leaned forward. “Why don’t you show me where Luscious and Mika live?”

  He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “I’m not showing you nothing,” he objected. He licked his small lips and put his forefinger into his nose, stirred it with pleasure, brought out the dried nasal mucus, rubbed it between his forefinger and his thumb, and ejected it with his fingernails. An icky booger landed on my desk.

  “Eww! Now you’re just being a nasty nuisance.” I cut my eyes at him.

  The sight of that made me want to vomit. I had just eaten lunch, and it felt like it wanted to come up.

  I used some sanitizer from a small bottle in my purse along with a wad of tissue from the bottom drawer to wipe the area clean. I grabbed the box of Kleenex from my desk and handed him two.

  He snatched them from my hand and used one of them to dig in his nose. I felt like grabbing my stapler and smacking him across the head with it until he passed out, but I needed his cooperation.

  “Devin, stop clowning for a second, will you?” I was becoming exasperated.

  “Okey doke.”

  “If I give you ten dollars and take you to the store to buy candy will you show me where Luscious lives?” I bribed, but the little heathen was game tight.

  “Nope, you gotta gimme twenty.”

  “Fine.”

  He cheesed and tossed his shoelaces on the floor.

  I opened my desk drawer and handed him twenty dollars out of my Louis Vuitton handbag. When I knelt down to put his shoelaces back in the eyelets, his mannish behind slapped me on my butt.

  “Drop it to the flo', Shawty”

  I gasped.

  “That’s not cute, and it’s very disrespectful. I’m going to have to teach you some manners,” I lectured.

  He dropped his head. “I’m sorry.”

  Finally, he was being respectful. I knew that he couldn't be all bad.

  “Sike!” he yelled out.

  “Ugh!” I snorted, and then continued lacing his shoes.

  “That’s too tight,” he whined.

  I suppressed a snicker, and then I knelt down and loosened his laces. "Is that better?" I asked.

  He nodded his head vigorously.

  "Let's go, Devin."

  My foot was out of the door, and he was behind me. “I got to doo doo,” he uttered.

  I spun around. "Ugh! Not now," I complained.

  His hand was on his butt, and he was jumping from foot to foot.

  I rubbed the back of my neck to relieve some of the stress that he was causing me.

  “You have to go to the bathroom, Devin. That is the proper way to say it,” I corrected him.

  “No, I got to doo doo.”

  “Fine.” I pointed him to the private bathroom in my office.

  He ran into the bathroom holding his booty with both hands. “Don't boo boo on yourself,” I teased.

  I stood at the door tapping my foot impatiently, with my arms folded across my chest.

  “Get away from the door!”

  He didn't have to say it twice. The odor started to seep from the toilet and found its way into my office. I could hear tooting, splattering, and ungodly noises coming from the other side of the door. I raced over to the window and snatched it up. I stuck my head out and gulped the fresh air. Thank God for small miracles, I thought.

  When I heard Devin flush the toilet and come out of the bathroom, I covered my nose with both hands, walked over to the far side of my office, and turned on the ceiling fan. He stood there scratching his butt.

  “Go back and wash your hands," I said politely.

  This time he did as I asked with no backtalk. I followed behind him and sprayed a little air freshener in the bathroom because that little boy smelled like a grown man.

  Walking out of the office with Devin in tow, I stopped at my secretary's desk and gave her instructions. “If my boyfriend shows up tell him that I’ll be back shortly. While I'm out send all of my calls to voicemail, please.”

  “I surely will,” she kindly replied.

  I was finally headed to find out whether or not what Devin had divulged was true. I told myself that it was wrong of me to put Blunt
's son in the middle of this, but to catch the kind of snake Blunt was I had to slither around in the grass just like he did.

  Once Devin and I were in the car and safely strapped in our seats, I slowly pulled out of the school’s parking lot. I placed my Gucci shades over my eyes and turned on the radio. The sound of Future's lyrics ‘Turn On The Lights’ poured from my speakers.

  Devin bobbed his head to the beat and sang along. I drove to his neighborhood and from there he directed me to a four-complex apartment building. As I was driving down the street, I noticed how filthy the area was. The front lawn was nothing but dirt and trash was strewn everywhere.

  Tons of discarded furniture and personal belongings were in front of a huge dumpster on the side of the complex. It appeared that the building was being poorly managed. Crackheads were roaming the streets in search of their next high. A short high yellow fiend in a bikini top and a pair of long jeans came clucking down the street with her hand on her bony hip. I could see her ribcage. She sashayed and twisted down the block like she was a model on a runway, but only in her head. Drugs and despair had robbed her of any Broadway dreams that she may have once had.

  “Do you remember which apartment Luscious lives in?” I questioned Devin as I slowed the car to a crawl.

  “It’s the apartment with the number one on it.”

  I focused in on the numbers on the apartments doors.

  “Ooh, there go her cars right there." He pointed to a brown ‘88 Nova and a 2011 rose-red Charger parked in front of her door.

  I stopped in the middle of the street. The dope fiends that moved about gawked at me. They probably were wondering why an unfamiliar vehicle like mine was rolling through. I double-checked to make sure my doors were locked. Then, I sat there wondering whether I should confront this Luscious chick.

  If what Devin had told me was true, I was going to snap. My animosity wasn’t with the woman though, it was with my man. He was up to no good every time I turned my back. I was so exhausted from the bullshit. If he had fathered a child outside of our relationship, I was done. Girl, you have to draw the line somewhere or he'll walk all over you, I chastised myself.